Ugh, it's that Day/Yay, it's that Day
It was midnight of the new day. The Moon was still out and Ponyville was fast asleep. Within SugarCube Corners, resting in her room was the sleeping Pinkie Pie. As her adorable pink, poofy mane covered head rested, her mind was in a tizzy. Within Pinkie's dreaming mind, the land was divided in two separate lands. One land was full of sunshine and candy kingdoms, where the clouds were cotton candy and the land was covered in chocolates. The other was the exact opposite; a dark, realm of large, jagged mountains, forests of dead trees and long stakes with, what could possibly be, dead ponies.
On the border between of the two land was a small cottage. It looked similar to the farm house that Pinkie grew up in. Although one land appeared menacing while the other looked innocent, both lands were calm and silent; the cottage was in an uproar.
"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Shouted one voice in a harsh tone.
"But you promised we'd make today special." Replied a more energetic, yet disappointed voice.
Inside the cottage, the room was relatively empty. Aside from the most generic looking kitchen, and countless family portraits of generic Earth Pony farmers, there was nothing interesting inside. The only noticeable things about the inside of the cottage was a large table, big enough for quite a large family was in the center of the room. Sitting at the table were two mare ponies; one was a pink earth pony, an almost doppelganger of Pinkie Pie, except for her mane, which was straight and long. The other pony could be considered another doppelganger, except for the fact that her mane, though poofy, was yellow, her coat was white instead of pink and, the most obvious difference, she was a pegasus.
"I told you Surprise." Snapped the angry pink mare. "We could celebrate today, but NOT A PARTY!"
"AWWWW...But Pinkamena." Surprise complained, with a pout. "How else do you celebrate today without a party?"
"Simple." Pinkamena responded. "We just accept that today is the day and we move on, not even thinking about it."
"Awww." Surprise pouted even more. "But that's SSSOOOO Boring!"
"That may be." Pinkamena laid back in her chair. "But I don't want a party now or ever."
"How about we throw a party this year." Surprise tried bargaining. "And you make the decorations?"
Pinkamena made a very mono-toned expression. "Do you know how many ponies I'd have to kill to get the type of decorations I want?"
"Well then don't kill anypony silly." Surprise responded. "Just have fun."
"You know I only have 'fun' when I'm killing. You know this." Pinkamena responded.
"Maybe some delicious cake might change your mind." Surprise resorted to bribery, but it didn't work.
"You know I hate sweet things." Pinkamena responded.
"Awww come on!!!" Surprise ran out of approaches.
"That was seriously the worst attempt you've tried all night." Pinkamena responded. "Not that it matters any more. We've been arguing about this all night. We're gonna wake up soon."
Surprise looked at her right hoof as if it had a watch on it. "Oh yeah. Guess we ran out of time again this year. So we PARTY!!!" Surprise giggled loudly.
"You know what? FINE, SCREW IT....I DON'T CARE ANYMORE." Pinkamena responded in frustration, getting up and walking towards the door to her side. "Have your party. Just leave me out of it. Just don't talk to me for the rest of the day!"
"Oh Pinkamena don't be like that." Surprise tried to talk back but it was too late. Pinkamena was already out the door and gone.
The Equestrian Sun was now high in the sky. It wasn't noon yet but it was getting close. Pinkie Pie woke up with a cute yawn but a somewhat sad expression on her pouting face.
"Why does she have to be such a grumpy Gus?" Pinkie asked herself aloud.
"Pinkie?!" Shouted a voice from downstairs. "Come down, your friends are here."
"Thank you Mrs. Cake." Pinkie responded.
Pinkie leaped out of bed with a spring in her step and a small twinkle in her eye. No matter how Pinkamena acted, Pinkie wasn't going gonna let Pinkamena ruin her big day.
"Well, today is the day after all." Pinkie said to herself, making her way down the stairs.
When Pinkie reached the bottom of the stairs, there wasn't a pony in the kitchen or anywhere to be seen.
"Where is everypony?" Pinkie giggled.
Pinkie made her way to the main lobby of the bakery when:
SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKIE!!!!!!!!!!!
In the center of the room stood Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Pumpkin and Pound Cake giggling by their parents with both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy holding up a giant pink banner with the words Happy Birthday across it.
"Aww thanks everypony." Pinkie smiled with a glee. "You beat me to the punchline."
"Well we couldn't just let you throw a party of one." Rarity remarked.
"Yeah, where's the fun in that?" Rainbow Dash joked.
"You always do your best to make fun parties for everypony." Twilight said with a smile. "So we thought we'd throw you a party!"
"I..uh...hope that it's okay we threw a party for you without telling you." Fluttershy kinda apologized.
"Don't be sorry silly." Pinkie said, hugging Fluttershy all adorable-like. "Let's have super duper smuper fun!!"
Later that Night
Pinkie was now hopping up and down her room in her usual giddy attitude, in the room was a large mirror; which showed Pinkamena's very bored expression.
"Oh you should have been there." Pinkie said aloud to her reflection in the mirror. "We went to Sweet Apple Acres, where Granny Smith made me this delicious apple pie with a candle on it. Then Rarity made me this cool birthday hat, and it was made of candy. And then we-"
"Enough!" Shouted Pinkamena. "I know all this. I was there remember!"
"Ohhh." Pinkie responded. "But didn't you say you didn't want anything to do with today. So how could know what happened if you didn't care?"
Pinkamena's eyes slightly widened, as rare as it was, Pinkie just made a good point.
"I wasn't interested at all." Pinkamena, somewhat adorably tried to change the subject. "I'm going to bed. Good night!" Pinkamena's face disappeared.
Pinkie Pie, with a small pout on her face, went straight to bed. As Pinkie slept, her dream world came alive. The two sides of her mind separated by a stretching border, with the nostalgic farm house resting on the center. Inside the cottage, Pinkamena sat in her seat, a subtle hint of gloom was across her face.
"SURPRISE!!! Surprise came out of now where and slammed something on the table in front of a shocked Pinkamena.
"Damn it Surprise!" Pinkamena shouted. "You know I hate when you do that!"
"Awww don't be like that." Surprise responded. "Look at what I gave you."
Pinkamena looked down to see an over-sized slice of cake with the words "Happy Birthday Pinkamena" somehow written across it, and a large, pink candle half way melted. Pinkamena's eyes somewhat shined but it was easily hidden.
"I told you I didn't want anything to do with today." Pinkamena said.
"But today is special!" Surprise replied, giving Pinkamena a big hug. "Today isn't only the day you were born, but it's also the day we met!"
Pinkamena, knowing that Surprise would never give up, gave up.
"Okay okay. I give up." It somewhat pained Pinkamena to say the next line. "Let's throw a party."
"Hoorrayy!!!!!!!!" Surprise shouted, shaking Pinkamena back and forth. "Oh wait, that reminds me." Surprise dropped Pinkamena and then placed a blue and purple on Pinkamena's head.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!! Surprise shouted at the top of her adorable lungs.
Pinkamena let out a sigh. "Happy...Birthday...
Pinkamena then blew out the candle.
"NOW WHY DON'T YOU ALL SMILE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Oh Pinkie, it's always fun to look inside your brain
That was cute.
You know I can never see Pinkamena as a killer
it just does not click 
she's cute with her mane down
I love it when stories give Pinkamena a happy story
I like this!
'Grumpimena' was good. 'Barely kept in check sociopathic murdermena' was a bit much.
The coloured text was hard to read, and since you attributed dialogue normallly, unncessary.
Still, not bad. 'twas cute.
3583230
Yeah, Pinkie never struck me as being really dangerous, either. I'd be a lot more worried about Fluttershy snapping and going berserk.
Still, it's a nice little story about the mind of a madmare.
I really liked the banter between the two inner Pinkies
So cute
*claps* Bravo, bravo! I especially like Pinkemena in this. (die kill hate die kill hate kill die!)
The color scheme was a bit off-putting, but all in all...
I liked it.
Well done.
~Skeeter The Lurker
kinda reminds me of starfire and raven
have a mustace
oooou gread I can't stop lathing
Thumbs up!
Liked it but the colors kinda threw me off. Anyways here's a Favorite and a Pinkie Heart!
went form
to
in...wait a minute denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw9145_medium.jpg
I wanna see more of Pinkie's inner mind now!Pws?
good job with this, I like the fact you used three incarnations of Pinkie for this one.
Anyone else smile at the end?
I GOT 50TH LIKE OH YEA UH-HUH!
:D
3606904
Neither can he!
ekolenergo.cz/img/stroje/sua05.jpg
wonderful concept, but I'm sensing you're a bit new at this. A lot of this could be refined to be made smoother, and you're missing
a fewa lot of punctuation marks.I feel like this could be expanded to be given more visceral depth. It feels empty and bland as is.
4433454
Granted that I wrote this roughly a year ago, I feel I have improved somewhere.
4433480
I suppose. I'd have to check your more recent work though.
You almost got me to smile, but not quite. STILL, a fine story, have one of those green thumbs, whatever you use them for.
is not bad, but also not good... the big fail is the color... yes, I know is to know who is talking but is too hard to see it
i quite enjoyed this, it shows an interesting start on the seperation between surprise and pinkamena. but, like with your other story that i read, its alittle short, and although it hints at complexity, it doesnt explore it enough. i will have to keep an eye on you though, from what i have read from you, your turning out to be quite interesting as a writer.
That was pretty cute.
I especially like the way you handled to interactions between Pinkie, Pinkamena, and Surprise.
This really did make me smile i cant belive you wrote a story with surprise in it
Surprise, Pinkie Pie, and Pinkamena. I guess this should be Teen, but surprisingly enjoyable for all ages. I enjoyed the part in the dream.
It was interesting.
It had my favorite pony, so that's automatically awesome, and it had Pinkamena? And Surprise?? Immediately got me in, because I wanted to see if you could pull this off.
It was interesting.
"Murder murder only fun when killing death insanity Pinkamena" was too over the top. We're forgetting about Pinkamena's origins here. She grew up on a rock farm, a place devoid of fun. Ever since she saw the Sonic Rainboom, her hair poofed and she was filled with sunlight and rainbows and joy and happiness, blah blah blah. The only time she's ever returned to her "Pinkamena" state was when she thought she was losing her friends, a big part of the fun in her life. She thought there was something wrong with her parties and the way she was trying to make others smile. Murderous versions of Pinkamena spawned from Cupcakes, and even then, Pinkie remained "poofy-maned" the whole time. I would've given it more credibility if Pinkamena was just a social downer and she didn't like having fun, but having dead ponies on spokes for half of Pinkie's brain?
...really?
Surprise, on the other hand, felt better. I suppose she was there to represent "Poofy Pinkie", and that she was supposed to be more hyper than the actual pony to counter Pinkamena's darkness. Honestly, she was portrayed as childish here. Exploding with excitement all the time, using puppy eyes when she wasn't a living bomb.. it was almost bipolar.
I don't know, that's just me. Take what I give and run with it. I know that this was made a few years ago, so this may not apply and you may've grown past this, but here's the critique still.
Good day and good health!
6268721
I am glad you enjoyed it. And I hope you humor the Sequels.
6268755
Oooh, sequels?
There are sequels??
Sorry headache, sorry midday nap, you guys are gonna have to wait.
Hello! Have a review. Yeah, I know it's a very old fic, but even now the idea of adding Surprise to Pinkie and Pinkamena feels fresh. On the other hoof it does show its age with the clear Cupcakes-style comments from Pinkamena. An old fic that sometimes reads like it, but an angle to Pinkie's personalities we don't often see.
11477563
Well thank you. It's always a surprise when anyone reads my older works. You can really see what was popular at the time, and how much different my writing style was back then. Thank you for the review, it was fair and honest.
11477720
You are very welcome.