• Published 20th Dec 2013
  • 3,303 Views, 171 Comments

A Figment of Her Imagination - PaulAsaran



Twilight's found a way to summon Daring Do from one of her books! But what starts out as a way to meet a storybook hero is having serious consequences. Daring is intelligent. She's independent. She's...alive. And that's a problem.

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Truth

Hearth’s Warming Eve, and Fluttershy was alone.

She sat at the window of her bedroom, staring out at the snowfall that made the world so pristine and beautiful. Moving carefully, she set a lone candle on her windowsill, struck a match and lit it. The tiny flame blazed brightly, filling her room with an unearthly glow. She turned back to face the room, watching as shadows danced on her wall. She smiled at the magical sight of it, entranced by the images brought to mind. Perhaps this was how she would spend every Hearth’s Warming Eve.

She was better now. It had taken time, but she was better. The pain had...mostly passed. Some days she hardly recalled it.

Other ponies were out with family, or attending the year’s Hearth’s Warming Pageant. Fluttershy would remain at home and think on things that might have been. She went to a nearby bookshelf, taking down a Daring Do novel. Some light reading to help her through this memorable night. Her own little tribute to a pony who had been so very special to her... and still was.

She was just about to climb into bed when there came rapping on her window. Curious, she went to look outside. Moving the candle aside, she pushed open the window and raised herself up on the windowsill.

“Rainbow! What are you doing out there? It must be freezing!”

“N-no kid-ding?” Rainbow rolled her eyes even as her teeth chattered, rubbing her shoulders. “You letting m-me in or n-n-not?”

Fluttershy stepped aside and Rainbow darted inside. Fluttershy took a moment to close her window and set the candle into place before turning to find Rainbow snuggling under her comforter with a relaxed smile. “Oooh, thank you. I was about to be a popsicle!”

Fluttershy shot the pegasus a frown. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be at Pinkie’s party.”

“Says the pony hiding in her dark and lonely room on the most important holiday in Equestria.” Rainbow climbed off the bed, kicking the covers off with a distracted buck. It was then that Fluttershy saw it: the pack.

Wide-eyed, she stepped forward to get a closer look. Abruptly aware of the attention, Rainbow sat and averted her eyes with a blush.

“Is that… Is that Daring’s pack?” Fluttershy lifted it from Rainbow’s side to examine it closer. “It is! Where did you find this?”

She looked up at Rainbow, who forced a smile and couldn’t meet her gaze. Her oldest friend coughed, rubbed the back of her head, glanced about for inspiration…and finally sighed. She drooped and pulled the pack off. “I’ll be straight with ya, Fluttershy. I came here tonight to give this to ya.”

She offered the pack. Fluttershy took it, but very slowly. It was heavy. She looked up at Rainbow again, but her friend still wouldn’t meet her gaze. “Rainbow?”

Rainbow looked down at the pack, shoulders sagged and ears low. “I… Well, last year when she disappeared, I went searching the woods. I found the pack out there, hanging from some tree. I’ve been holding on to it ever since.”

Fluttershy hesitated, but finally opened the pack. What she found inside stunned her: a dazzling, gold-silk necklace with a brilliant, midnight-blue gemstone at its center. “Oh my… She had this all along?”

Rainbow shook her head, reaching out to push the necklace closer to Fluttershy. “She went through a lot of trouble to get that for you. It was meant to be a Hearth’s Warming Eve’s present.”

Fluttershy’s chest tightened. Her eyes explored the brilliant necklace, its precious peridots glittering in the candlelight. Daring had gone through that kind of trouble? But then she caught Rainbow’s words, and when she looked up she found her friend looking away with guilt-ridden eyes.

“Rainbow… How did you know about this?”

Rainbow flinched and drooped a little more. “B-because… Because I helped her get it. When we went to the castle together, that blue stone was what she was after. She had Rarity make it into the necklace. Rarity didn’t know the purpose, though.”

Fluttershy looked down at the necklace, then back up at Rainbow. “B-but… Why didn’t you give it to me last year, when you found it?”

For the first time that night, Rainbow looked directly at her, and the sorrow on her face was piercing. Before Fluttershy knew it, Rainbow was embracing her.

“I’m so sorry, Fluttershy. It’s my fault, it’s all my fault! I wanted to tell you, b-but I was scared.”

“Tell me?” Fluttershy shifted, awkwardly raising her hooves to hold the shaking pegasus. “I don’t understand. What’s your fault?”

“Everything!” Rainbow stepped back to give Fluttershy a direct, miserable look. “Daring Do was my fault. I talked Twilight into bringing her here, and I’m the reason she left.”

Fluttershy considered this and smiled. “Rainbow. Just because you had a part in bringing her here, that doesn’t mean—”

“No, Fluttershy!” Rainbow turned around and sat, head hanging low once again. “You don’t understand. Daring Do left because of me. I met her that day, right before she was gonna give you the necklace, and… and… and I fought her.”

Fluttershy blinked, tilted her head. “Fought? You mean… had an argument?”

Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “No, a fight. She threw me through a window, and I broke her leg against a tree!”

“What?” Fluttershy thought back on that night, struggling to recall the tender memories. “B-but her leg wasn’t broken…”

“That’s because it healed.” Rainbow shivered. “Right in front of me, it just… healed. Freakiest thing I ever saw! And then she sorta snapped. That had to be the moment when she decided to go.”

Fluttershy sat on her bed and studied the necklace. She tried to imagine Rainbow and Daring in a fight, but it was hard. She lifted the necklace to display it. “You mean you fought with her over this?”

Rainbow spun around to point, tears in her eyes. “Over you, Fluttershy! We were fighting over you!”

Fluttershy’s cheeks burned and the necklace dropped to the floor, forgotten. “W-what do you m-mean, over me?”

Rainbow covered her mouth, cheeks going red and eyes wide. She turned away once more, maintaining the alarmed look. But then she fell into that despondent mood once more. “Y-yeah, over you. She showed me the necklace, and when she said what she intended to do with it… I was mad. I felt like I’d just been backstabbed. Then she said you were already a couple and I… I just… attacked. I couldn’t help it. I was just so angry.”

“But why?” Fluttershy dropped from the bed to stand by Rainbow’s side, but Rainbow only turned away. “Rainbow, what was so bad about her and me being together?”

For a long time, Rainbow wouldn’t answer. At last, she raised her head.

“I was jealous. I was stubborn and selfish. I… I didn’t want her to have you, because you were so important to me, and I thought… I thought you were…”

Understanding hit Fluttershy like a bolt of lightning. For a few seconds she could only sit and stare. “R-Rainbow?”

Her oldest friend stood and turned to the window, adamantly refusing to look at her. “You should hate me. I hurt you pretty bad, so I deserve it. I’m… I’m just gonna go. If ya don’t wanna talk to me again, I… I’ll understand.”

She went to the window and prepared to open it, but Fluttershy jumped forward and caught her by the tail. “Wait!”

Rainbow still wouldn’t look at her, but she didn’t try to leave either. Fluttershy sighed her relief and dropped the tail, taking a moment to collect her thoughts.

“Rainbow… I don’t hate you.”

Her friend – her secret admirer – glanced back over her shoulder, ears low and lips trembling. “R-really…? You don’t have to pretend or nothin’, y’know.”

Fluttershy offered her softest, most reassuring smile. “Rainbow, you’re my oldest friend. I can’t hate you! And besides… I’m glad you told me.”

Rainbow raised her head, ears perking up and eyebrows rising. “You are?”

“Mm-hmm.” Fluttershy turned away to pick up the necklace. “It gives me a clearer picture. I can’t blame you for what happened.”

“But—” Rainbow paused, perhaps to think on her words. “But… If I hadn’t fought her, she’d still be here! You and Daring could have been together.”

With necklace in hoof, Fluttershy turned back to Rainbow, beaming. “I’ve had a year to think things over. I believe I understand why she did what she did, and I know she was thinking of me the entire time. I don’t know if she was right to leave, but she thought she was acting in my best interest, and I’ll always appreciate that.”

Rainbow’s head lowered as she considered this. “But… that has nothing to do with what I did.”

“Maybe not, but you’re here now, trying to do the right thing, even if it means losing something important to you. You and Daring are more alike than you know… and I appreciate you, too.”

Blue cheeks turned red. Rainbow fidgeted and averted her eyes. “You… You mean that?”

Fluttershy stepped forward and nuzzled Rainbow’s cheek. “I do. I really—”

Rainbow’s wings opened with a jerk. Fluttershy's cheeks grew hot, but she didn’t pull back.

“Umm… Yes, I do.”

Rainbow jumped back and sat, trying to push down her wings and blushing wildly. “Umm… Err… Yeah. This is… Umm… It’s just…”

Fluttershy giggled at the sight, then started to laugh out loud. Rainbow paused, rubbed her mane… then started to laugh as well. They laughed and laughed. Rainbow sat and threw her head back, tears of mirth falling down her cheeks. Fluttershy fell back on the bed and fought to control her giggles.

When they at last calmed down enough to think properly, Fluttershy sat up and grinned at her old friend. Then she carefully put the necklace on.

“So… How does it look?”

Rainbow stared, considered, blushed. “You look good in anything.”

Fluttershy giggled. “I meant the necklace.”

Rainbow chuckled. A moment of silence passed between them, their world made of shadows. The light of the candle danced around them, sometimes illuminating Rainbow’s face, sometimes covering her in shade. There was a certain… magic to it, and Fluttershy felt strangely warm.

“So… you’re really not mad at me or anything?” Rainbow scuffed her hoof on the floor. “I mean, for real?”

Fluttershy smiled and reached for her discarded book. She displayed it to Rainbow. “I was gonna share this night with her. Want to join me?”

Her old friend’s eyes lit up. “Y-yeah. Yeah! I’d love to!” Fluttershy patted the bed, and Rainbow practically dove to her side. “Thank you so much! I was freaking out before I came here, I just knew you’d be furious with… w-with…”

She paused and stared as Fluttershy climbed under the covers, book tucked under a foreleg. “Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy poked her head from under the covers and propped the book on a pillow, opening it to the first page. She then cast an eye on Rainbow, who blushed and fidgeted. Fluttershy didn’t say anything, only patted the spot beside her and waited.

Rainbow gained a slow smile, eyes moistening as she stared. Finally, she pulled herself under the covers and set herself beside Fluttershy.

They read in silence for a few seconds. Everything seemed normal. Rainbow was beginning to relax…

Fluttershy pressed close and rested her chin on Rainbow’s shoulder. She heard Rainbow’s breath catch, felt her fidget and knew she was trying to prevent another embarrassing display of her wings. Fluttershy only smiled and closed her eyes, realizing that she was content. Daring Do had been right; there was a pony out there for her.

She offered a silent prayer, forever appreciative of the sacrifice that had been made for the sake of her happiness.

Author's Note:

The question remains: did Daring do the right thing?

I leave that up to my readers.

Comments ( 138 )

Why haven't more people read this?!

Dat synopsis! :pinkiegasp:
Consider me HOOKED!

3654521

To quote a friend: "probably because the show rendered this entire story AU."

I like the idea myself, but you know how fans can be.

3654573
I know right? That's one of the best synopsi I've seen!

I don't even care if this is now AU. In my mind, THIS sounds like what Daring Don't should have been.
...I'll read this when I finish work.

3654521
3654586

Why haven't more people read this?!

First guess? No clop.

3654656

I don't even care if this is now AU. In my mind, THIS sounds like what Daring Don't should have been.

Wow, thanks!


I have high expectations for this story. I'm considering sending it to EQD, but I dunno. I'll wait to see how it does in the coming week.

3656040
In all honesty, as an EQD worthy author myself, I can tell you that they don't care if a story has no likes/views or thousands. They care only about perfect grammar, relative originality and execution. If you have all these in check, go for it!

3656158
Grammar is the problem. They see things that are invisible to me - I know, I've tried. They took my Trixie story - which is by far my best story - and dumped it after one chapter for things I didn't even know were wrong. To go through my stories with a fine-toothed comb searching for issues that 99.9% of the reading population don't even know exist, much less care about, strikes me as entirely pointless and a slap in the face of common sense.

But at the same time, I do want more people to read my stories, and EQD is a surefire way to make that happen...so I'm conflicted.

3656224
I could help you, if you like...
Check out my editing resume on my user page. A couple of those stories have been featured, including Sunset of Time and Birds of a Feather.

3656244
I might just take you up on that! But if I did, I'd probably ask you to take a look at Trixie vs. Equestria, instead. That could be an issue for ya, though, as TvE is a pretty big story. I'll think on it. Besides, I need to do an editing run on the whole thing myself before it goes to someone for a 'professional' editing job, as there are parts I already know I want to heavily modify, especially in the first two or three chapters.

On the other hand, asking you to edit this story could be a trial run. :trixieshiftright:

3656269
Just letting you know now: grammar, sentence /paragraph structure and repetition are my specialties. I'm not quite as good at the "tell vs show" or plothole things. Though if I see inconsistencies, I'd be sure to point them out.
It's always good to have more than one editor, though; think of us as combs, that can overlap. Another might pick up on something that one misses.

3656292
I'm not worried about plotholes - story development is my specialty. "Show vs. Tell", which I wholeheartedly disagree with but still try to apply to appease the masses, is a regular issue for me.

I have another editor, but he's extremely busy and, thus, is very slow. I need more!

hate hate hate flutter dash but the story was overall good, have a like but not a fave only cause i cant stand weak little fluttershy.

3696578

Hey, if I can earn a like from someone who hates part of the background concept on principle, I consider my work a success. Thanks a ton! :twilightsmile:

3696623 tis why im a critic im unbiased :rainbowwild:

3697156

Whoa mamma!

:twilightblush:

You know, I've always wanted someone to respond to one of my stories with an expression like that. Thanks for letting me check one more thing off my bucket list! :yay:

3697240 Sure thing I really appreciate that you took the time to respond and definately agree about "pefect characters" and the point you
made about this specific creative process this story is a favorite of mine now and I'd like to see you follow thorugh with this FlttershyxRainbow
Dash parring.:twilightsmile::raritywink:

3697847
I have a great many stories planned. The stories listed on my user's page "Future Stories" section is just the tip of the iceberg for what's floating around in my head. That said, I'm not sure I have a FlutterDash story in mind yet. :trixieshiftright: Meh, I'm sure one will come to me eventually. Anyway, glad you enjoyed the fic!

PS - Reader comments are my bread and butter, and I always try to respond to them. It lets the readers know I appreciate their input.

3698959
I'll be sure to check that out soon then Paul and thank you so much for considering your
readership like that I've got to say that that's realy great of you to do,also you'er very right about Twilight I would'nt love her the way I do if she all of the sudden was without faults
and you'er right about Luna too(Whom I also adore). As a final note I'll soon begin working on my very first(and hopefully not last)story called Adaptation,it's a Human in Equestria story and constructive input you and writers can give me would help out alot.
So thank you very much again Paul.

This needs to get on EQD. Holy cow, man...

A very good and very nice story. For the record I'd consider what Daring Do did as suicide. And I would consider this specific case to be morally wrong. But anyways her biggest mistake is that she didn't come to terms with herself before pursuing Fluttershy. It made the emotional impact all the more devastating when she learned that no she wasn't an actual pony. An actual person, yeah, but not a pony.

3792515
I don't know how anyone could interpret Daring's decision as anything other than suicide. Now if you're from the standpoint that suicide itself is wrong without any other qualifications, then yes, her actions were definitely wrong, and there's no way to debate that.

Personally, I don't view suicide to be intrinsically wrong. In fact, the thought that someone could make that argument didn't occur to me as I was writing the story (in hindsight, it should have been an obvious one). My primary interest revolved around the moral quandaries of bringing our fantasies to life.

3793046

I do think suicide is acceptable under certain circumstances, such as your existence being incredibly painful with no hope of reprieve, or if by killing yourself you protect others. Daring Do didn't meet those cases though,

Now personally I didn't see much wrong with bringing characters to life, as long as you treat them with the respect and dignity that any living pony deserves. Well there is the whole metaphysical thing where they might not be happy at first and have memories of being happy, but they weren't actually happy because they didn't exist til that point. So their happiness in the past is also something you were responsible for. But it seems to be a sideways way of creating life, and there's nothing (well not much) immoral with that.

3793689
If I wanted to go metaphysical (and I'm not saying I don't), my immediate thoughts turn to the whole 'playing God' trope. My rival (the one that manage to beat this story by one vote because it was sunny and full of rainbows :facehoof:) unintentionally touched right on this topic by having a main villain who could literally create armies of bad guys right from the pages of a book, recreating them over and over again when they died.

That's dozens of individual, supposedly living beings who were created to fight and die. That story doesn't even consider the moral ramifications of this, but it's exactly the kind of issue I was hoping people would recognize.

Granted, the creation of Daring Do was made under the best of intentions, and she wasn't meant to be alive. But she was, and who's to say others like her wouldn't be alive, as well? What's to stop ponies from making a dozen Daring Dos, all for the sake of meeting their hero? What's to stop a guy like King Sombra from making an army of storybook villains? And every one of them is a separate life.

This kind of thing can easily spiral out of control.

3794056

Well I've always had a problem with the idea that 'paying God' is bad and evil. It's what you do with your creation that matters, not the how. (unless the how involves murdering other intelligent being/insert evil act here).

Anyways presumably the difficulty in casting the spell would be the limiter in this case. After all Twilight is the pony whose special talent is magic. Not everypony could cast that spell. Sure there might be a few others but that's not really a problem. And the whole creating an army thing, well that'd run into the problem that the creations have free will so it's not like they'd just instantly do your bidding. Even if an army could be made, well then you better hope someone didn't come up with a counterspell like they did with the Mirror Pool

3794229
All valid points. About the only counterpoint I can make is that there is some level of control over the creation's mind. This was subtly and intentionally mentioned, as Daring Do was readily willing to accept that her book world had never been real. I never said it, but this was something built into the spell by Twilight to save time having to convince Daring of the truth.

If you can do that to the creation, what else can you do? Make them blindly loyal? Make them want to achieve a specific goal? Make them willing to die for your cause?

Now we're getting into mental reprogramming, which is the equivalent of slavery. So even if only four or five ponies throughout Equestria can cast the spell, there still great potential for abuse.

Just a thought, but DD could have kept a diary; then, if she ever missed her monthly power-up and disappeared, Twilight could re-create her from the diary, with all of her memories up to the last diary entry...

In fact, with this spell, ANYONEs diary could be used to re-create them as a magical construct, in the event of their untimely death. Now that would be a scary thing.

3794362

That could be a problem. Still I think that just requires a second limiter to the spell, it being having access to the spell be limited. Something like putting it with the time spells and other dangerous magic.



3794539

You mean awesome. You get to be practically immortal for such a little cost? Okay that has it's own problems but still it's an amazing this to achieve.

This was good. This was so good that I... I can't even...

3794539
3795284
I direct both of you to this story, which happens to be the one that beat mine in the contest (still a little grumpy about that). Though depicted in a lighthearted manner, the main villain had a similar concept, and was able to live pretty much forever using magic that let him re-create himself over and over again via literature.

Sure, access to the spell could be limited (Twilight may have even made such a suggestion in her debates with the other princesses, as she did want to keep the spell around). But, as has been shown repeatedly in-show, there's always somepony capable of getting past the locks and guardian spells. Things only have to go wrong once.

For example, Discord can't be the only draconequus out there.

Another example: Chrysalis did impersonate a princess for an unknown amount of time.

3796449

So I just read through that story, and I've got to say you were robbed. Your story was much better, though I did really like the creative idea of discording Fluttershy so that she becomes a combat beast.

Anyways so far there hasn't been anything really stolen from Equestria's protection besides the Elements by Discord. And those were the good artifacts. All the evil threats have been external, invading army, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Sombra, and most importantly the Alicorn Amulet.

Nothing was protecting the Alicorn Amulet. It was literally for sale and any sufficiently wealthy unicorn could have gotten it. Equestria was actually lucky it ended up in Trixie's hooves because she used it immediately against one of the most powerful ponies in Equestria.

My point is that there are plenty of unprotected threats in Equestria. This spell, while dangerous in the wrong hooves, isn't nearly as bad. I mean the Mirror Pool alone is a hundred times worse and there isn't any protection for that beyond a large rock.

3800465

So I just read through that story, and I've got to say you were robbed.

My current theory is that I lost because it had sunshine and rainbows and happiness, and people like that over solemn and bittersweet. But it's just a theory, I really have no idea how I lost. It was a real letdown, because I was confident I had this one in the bag. :trixieshiftleft:

My point regarding secured threats was that there are clear ways to get past those securities, so there's really no reason to believe that securing anything is a fail-safe. (And lets not forget that the Equestrian Royal Guard seems to be completely useless at the best of times.) If the greatest defense Twilight – supposedly one of the smartest and most forward-thinking ponies ever – thought of for the Mirror Pool was a rock, what kind of pointless protections have been given to dangerous things like the Alicorn Amulet? Did they bury it under Fluttershy's chicken coop? :facehoof: My version of Trixie went and destroyed the accursed thing!

But then, this story doesn't take place in the same AU as my other two major stories, so that may be a moot point.

At the same time, Celestia seems to be fairly strict about securing things she knows about, so I'd expect her to be pretty heavy-hoofed on this subject in the debates.

3806417
Now that you mention it...yeah, it kinda is. :rainbowderp:

Time to enter the obligitory this needs more views comment. But in actual seriousness, this REALLY needs more views. This is one of the best FlutterDash fictions I've read in awhile (Although the main theme wasn't about FlutterDash). Either way, this was a fantastic story :twilightsmile:

3818932
Many thanks! Don't worry, once I get this sucker into EQD – and it will be accepted, I'm determined – I expect this story to get much more attention :twilightsmile: Assuming they think what the vast majority of my readers think, that is.

3819113
I hope you're able to get into it then :pinkiehappy:. If you can't win a contest, then at least you can get it viewed by as many people as you can

..... So rainbow basicly killed daring, then took her place? That's just....... Just terrible. If ever there was a reason to hate rainbowdash, this is it.

I would love to see how fluttershy felt after daring don't when she found out daring do was real.

3832833
I think about that every time I look at this story, actually. I'm not sure if I'd ever write that particular moment, but if I do I could always add it as an 'epilogue' short story.

3832878 I think that would be interesting especially considering the fact that she still has feelings for her

3832899
Yeah, but I'm hesitant. Depending on how Fluttershy, Rainbow and Daring take it, it could end with a lot of tears.

At the same time, I think Fluttershy (not so much Rainbow) is mature enough to handle it, and Daring's determined avoidance could keep things safe. But then, if the real Daring got interested, we might have that more epic DaringXRainbow duel, after all.

The workings of a sequel are definitely there, but I have so many other things to concern myself with that it may be a while before I ever get to one. :fluttershysad:

3832926 That's too bad but either way this story was GREAT! You got yourself a follow and a favorite.

3832947
And you have my appreciation. :twilightsmile:

That 100-follower mark is looking closer and closer every day. :rainbowdetermined2:

3801385

My current theory is that I lost because it had sunshine and rainbows and happiness, and people like that over solemn and bittersweet. But it's just a theory, I really have no idea how I lost. It was a real letdown, because I was confident I had this one in the bag.

"Sunshine and rainbows and happiness" versus "solemn and bittersweet" might be understating it a bit. There is no sweet to this bitter ending. As 3824169 said, Rainbow Dash physically and emotionally crushes our protagonist and then goes on to get the girl. With no foreshadowing, and therefore no chance to empathize with her beforehand, no amount of backpedaling can redeem her in the eyes of the reader.

It's a well-written and well-executed story, but a very unsettling one. It definitely deserves a Tragedy tag.

3863550
Hmm, I never really thought of it that way.

Well, it's way too late for a revision. Maybe if I ever decide to do the sequel I can address this issue.

3863908 I think it makes sense that both types of offence (Twilight, Yearling, Rainbow type (representing... mad scientist, copyright defender and cruel pony social roles?)) can, and would likely happen to a character brought from a book. That implies a lot of philosophy concerning real vs. imaginary problem... Actually I think it's rather hard to make a story with that beginning have a happy ending... that is sad, too...

3869267
I can already say without any doubt that if I ever did write a sequel, it would by no means be 'happy'. More sadness, more conflict, maybe a little sexual tension. Poor Fluttershy would be caught in the middle of some ugly situations. :fluttershyouch:

The more I think on it, the more I like the idea of a sequel. If only I didn't have so many other stories to write. :raritycry:

Flippin beautiful. Love the work you did here, characterization was spot on. I think I'll go look at the rest of your works now that this one is done.

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