- Member Since 6th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 3rd, 2023
Gamel_Lightshow
Hmmm. Where do I start? Well first off I'm the leader of the Wolf Army and stand proudly as a brony. I love to write and read and do my best to struggle day after day for a new leash on life.
Sequels2
-
Gamel_Lightshow · 1.8k words · 24 1 · 1.1k views
-
Gamel_Lightshow · 2.5k words · 65 5 · 5k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Sargeant Antelec · 3.7k words · 123 30 · 5.4k views
- Gamel_Lightshow · 2.5k words · 65 5 · 5k views
- KorvasTerindar · 3.8k words · 103 7 · 4.2k views
- Thebravenorse · 5.3k words · 111 12 · 5.2k views
- TheSpikyDragon · 1.8k words · 187 38 · 9.6k views
- ImaginaryCatnip · 8.1k words · 204 10 · 9k views
- Turtleboy76 · 20k words · 215 17 · 9.4k views
- Sync · 7.3k words · 161 23 · 5.5k views
Featured In18
Clopfics11,600 stories ·15,851 members
One-Shots19,008 stories ·2,370 members
Slice of Life8,216 stories ·1,467 members
Spike Fanfictions5,612 stories ·2,963 members
- Spilight444 stories ·689 members
Twilight and Spike2,230 stories ·970 members
High Quality Spike Shipping779 stories ·1,528 members
- Spike's Many Shippings3,688 stories ·1,738 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.11 seconds
Total duration
935 users online
1,248,985 hits today, 1,938,329 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
3680757 Yea I couldn't come up with an original idea
Ooc spike, but very we'll executed.
3681218 Thanks. I figured I wouldn't get Spike right I'm not to major into the whole paying attention to character but I do grasp it a bit
It's nice but you need an editor.
3681457 I have three and there all a bunch of lazy lots they are. They edited a good portion of it but left me to edit the rest so this was the end result
next up new year's!
3681679 Yea lol my few editors I have now better than to let me edit my own stories but hey what you gonna do. I'll also think about having you as an editor sense mine are getting lazy
3681692 Yep! I actually have an idea too
3682115 Lol that's a nice thought
3682203 Yea lol
3682475 Thanks lol I've always wanted another one of those
Pretty good, I liked it.
3682640 Thanks
I am impressed and ok with this,
Great job, and I hope you write more good stories like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3685057 Haha thanks and I'm a try
Splight?
FAVED AND SAVED!
3686876 Lol okay
Nice and don't worry about feeling dirty....it couldn't be helped.
3689143 True true
Not a big Spike x Twilight fan but this wasn't bad at all. Keep up the good work my man.
3693310 Thanks!
3697457 Yea I would say Spike needs more love
3697664 lol
damn, son!
Not bad, but it really needs an editor.
3989845 Yea, all my stuff needs an editor really but I recently just got two so everything should get better now
He really f***ed her brains out of her...
4163873 The only way Spike can giggty
dat rush.
4236845 Oh please I didn't rush. Don't make me get Virginya on you! But in all honestly I didn't rush I'm just a bad writer.
( I now what happen)
Well Twilight was filled with a lot of dragon eggnog.
4625188 *claps* perfect
4625596
Thank you I try...
Overall, this was a decent read.
The formatting seems to be the type you'd used in the limited space of a printed book as opposed to a media outlet, but was alright. I suggest using double-spacing in digital outlets (an example being this comment's spacing) so it's easier to read and the words are not so bunched together.
In terms or sentence structuring, try using more complex sentences as opposed to basic ones. It's a matter of my personal preference, but it generally looks more professional.
Grammar and spelling errors weren't excessive, but were noticeable. Try running it though an editor or word processer/word-processing website next time.
The pacing was the most problematic part to me - it seemed quite rushed, despite you saying it wasn't. Take your time with the characters, be more descriptive of feelings and actions, and let the reader know what happens. Details are extremely important to giving a reader an immerse experience.
I wish you luck in your further writings.
Not a bad read, bit hard to understand but over all not bad.
6000125 Thanks for your input.