The Doctor had left Derpy to take care of something that he worried that Derpy will get hurt on. While they are both broken hearted in leaving. Derpy gives a Pinkie Promise (the ones you HAVE to keep) to wait for the Doctor on a hill where they first met. While the Doctor promises to come back. But they don't expect to be gone for 5 years....
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Ditsy Doo or known as Captain D of the royal guard has been stuck in war for 2 and a half years. War that happened when Princess Celestia was killed and Princess Luna got sick and defenses were weakened. It was always up to the Captain now. But when a clot the enters in a blue box comes back the war is suddenly on a new turn. Will the Doctor save Equestria once again? What has happened to Captain D/Derpy? And what will the Doctor do to get her back?
This is my first My Little Pony FanFiction. This is really the only shipping I really support in this show. This IS the Doctor based on the 11th doctor but I am more of a Matt Smith fan then David Tenate. You really don't need to watch Doctor Who to understand this but some jokes will be based off it. I also kinda like to go with things that happened in Doctor Whooves and Assistance from YouTube. So yeah. I hope you enjoy this!
-DO NOT OWN COVER PIC ITS BY http://www.deviantart.com/art/General-Derpy-261702196-
ON HOLD FOR EDITING AND PROOFREADING
little bit like the Amy Pond type of episode.
@AbiTalker...
1. Your cover art is from the very talented DeviantArt(ist) Equestria-Prevails. I would strongly advise properly crediting him for it, now that you have been informed.
As a side-summary stemming from your cover art... General Derpy is the battle-hardened, but often victorious, chief military officer & trusted friend to Princess Luna. Princess Luna ascended to high-ruler of Equestria after the loss of Princess Celestia and most of the Elements of Harmony during The Great War (a world-war in which Equestra was attacked on multiple fronts all at once, by many different races, but most notably the griffins).
The above background story is from Equestria-Prevails' own stories and resultant art-work. [Thus not from me.]
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
2. Also... David Tennant for Doctor Who #10.
3. And another... Ditzy Doo for Derpy Hooves' Hasbro-licensed name, in-tandem for her (generally fan-accepted, but still UN-official) daughter Dinky Doo.
4. You need a LOT of technical writing clean-up and correction work for your fan-fiction. Your story-premise is fine, and I personally enjoy Derpy & The Doctor stories, both Adventure and Romance (or both).
However... Poor technical writing (spelling, grammar, format, tense, etc.) kills any literary work, no matter how good the story-premise. I would advise finding yourself an Editor and Proofreader(s), if not both. [Literary Writing side-note: You should only have one Editor, but can have multiple Proofreaders.]
Hope this helps.
3690492 i see... here, ill do it that way you did!!
1- I will gladly credit the person thank you VERY much for telling me!
I thank you for the information, but I guess that my story is going to be a bit different but I already made guesses to things and I cannot believe I got it right!! But, I don't want to spoil so you just have to wait and see!
2- If you have kept to update on Doctor Who, you will have seen the 50th anniversary episode that shows that there is another first doctor, thus moving down the list and now David Tennate is officially the 11th doctor.
3- I have heard of Dinky Doo but honestly I am not wanting to bother putting her in this story, you see it isn't really cannon that Dinky is her daughter and the rest that you said.. what?
4- Trust me, I have been told about the cleaning up of my writing, you see I sometimes just don't bother to fix it because I usually do my writing in like 3 in the morning because its like I'm dreaming what happens and I'm glad that you like the idea of Romance and Adventure for Derpy and the Doctor. You see in Doctor Who the Doctor gets with a lot of people and has great adventures with them, and when I saw Doctor Whooves and Assistant I thought they were just amazing together and when I heard of Doctor Whooves and Twilight... I wanted to punch myself in the gut. Derpy is a much more interesting companion then Twilight because she is different and has a backstory and the fact that she is so sad about how she is can easily change things about her, this shows on because of that sadness she becomes stronger and weaker
and seriously... I do try to have some people to read my stories before me posting it... but I don't really have people to do the job... as much as I would like to do that, I just can't. I'm sorry I will try my best to do better
I love your advice! thank you so very very much I know my story isn't perfect, but I hope you cam still enjoy reading it with the mistakes still there
3690621...
5. Glad to help point out. It is very important to credit the artists, especially the hard-working &/or talented once, who provide the fan-artworks that inspire us.
6. It is David Tennant (no "e") for correct spelling.
7. As for the recent 50th Anniversary & "The Day of The Doctor"... The War Doctor (John Hurt) is not counted towards the "lineage" of The Doctor's regenerations, since The War Doctor was an "artificial" regeneration to help fight in The Time War [Which is a pity, because I like John Hurt (from previous works), and could see him playing the more traditional role of The Doctor.]
8. You can find & recruit an Editor and Proofreaders here on FiMfiction itself. Something I would suggest doing, as well as trying to improve & refine your own technical writing.
~ a. Looking for Editors
~ b. The Proofreader Group
3690809
5- I agree
6- I totally suck at spelling sorry!!
7- I guess you are right, but I just feel like it's saying it wrong with saying that its the 10th because it's really the 11th regeneration, even though he isn't really in the series of Doctor Who, he still regenerated and its still means that he is now on his 11th regeneration so yeah.. I just like being correct with my sayings
8- I will gladly do so thank you miss!
soo " the grey mare" its back in action hehehe too bad she isnt a general like on the image on deviant art
anyway lets check this story i m expecting great things from this one
3692686 well the thing is that Derpy needs to be the highest there is, the one to actually be in charge if the rulers are gone an your in a war. That would be the captain right? So yeah.
I'm glad you like it so far, but it will be on hold because I'm trying to get an editor and some proofreading done into it.
3693271 well there are lots of perspectives of ditzy that i have seen on many stories like the single mother never giving up , a two hundred year old ghoul who has seen equestria during peace war and the subsecuent post apocaliptic wasteland or the general of the northem equestrian army "the grey mare" as the griffins call her during the war on the equestrian front so i like how a character that on regular sircunstances its a humble delivery employee can take an unexpected road just for the sircunstances of the world they are living in
3693271...
9. Well until the BBC Official DW site, Wikipedia, and the DW canon-wikia, all list The War Doctor as part of the regeneration "lineage" and re-number David Tennant from Doctor Who "#10" to "#11", the correct reference is David Tennant as The Tenth Doctor.
10. With technical literary writing, you will only "suck as spelling" if you leave it un-corrected for others to see. You can use the time while waiting to find an Editor & Proofreader(s) to make some corrections (for but one example: correcting Ditzy from incorrect Ditsy; but many, many other corrections that need to be made)
11. Always remember... It is NEVER "too late" to go back and add-on, correct, edit, revise, refine, or even completely overhaul from the ground-up, your fan-fiction works for the better.
12. It is good that you are working to recruit an Editor and Proofreader(s), really good stories are rarely ever written by a single person.
13. Here are some general guidelines to good-overall literary writing...
~ a. Clean & clear technical writing. As I previously said, you could have the best story-premise in all of Time & Space; but with poor technical writing, your story will crash & burn, and you will only wind up humiliating yourself.
~ b. Hearty word count per chapter. As a general guideline, 3000+ words per chapter is a worthy minimum goal.
~ c. Detailed & descriptive writing. Another fatal literary error far too many fan-fiction writers make is lack of details and descriptive quality. Shoving a bunch of character names upon the literary stage and then shouting at the reader-audience, "this happens! and that happens! and it is totally awesome inside my head! you imagine it too!" It is vitally important to be descriptive to both the surrounding environment of the scene, and to the characters. This is even more important for a Romance angle or story, in showing the emotions involved.
If you fulfill these general guidelines, then while people may not particularly Like your story, few will actively Dislike it when it is clear, clean, and shows that you put the [time + effort] into writing it.
3694522
9- okay then!
10- I see... as you see I am now putting this on hold to have an editor and proofreading done, trust me hopefully in sometime, I can have this story be much better
Very good, I must say I do enjoy this very much! Curious to see what happened to Princess Cadence or Princess Twilight(Or did Cadence perish when the Changelings attacked along with the mane 6) Ooh so many questions I'm eager to read on! This deserves multiple mustaches
Love it!!! More please!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IT HAS FINLY UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
3882151
I can agree with this statement.
Now, for my actual comment:
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3883155
3882151 you stole my comment.
........More?
3933350 im so sorry i have not updated, my school is doing a musical and I just so happen to be in it. I promise I will try and make the chapter and send it to my editor soon.
4088958
Oh, okay! ^w^
Soooooo cute.