Candi-404
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The formatting is a bit off, and you might want to italicize thoughts to help them stand out. Aside from that, it's a good read - I'm looking forward to future updates!
3725508 I'm not really sure what to do about formatting, and I'll have to go back and italicize the thoughts.
I'm glad you like it. 
I need to know more!
3725631 I'm very excited to think of what happens next, so the next chapter will probably be posted by tomorrow.
This is really interesting, I like it!
Well it was pretty good, until just near the end there... I'm not saying it's a bad story, I just don't like mare x mare shipping...
Other than that it's a good story
Amazing first chapter&story, I need to know more, can't wait till the next chapter
......hate to be the downer, but dash should have let twilight take it. tiwlight is an alicorn now, meaning earth pony bones.
.........i do like the concept, dashie paying a major price for loyalty, but the execution is all wrong. we see nothing of how dash is taking it, and then you kinda ruin it with that twiluna shipping at the end. not againt the shipping, it just has to be appropriate time and place. last thign tiwlight would be thinking is if she could get some moon butt flank after rainbow has been crippled.
Okay really? Really? Don't get me wrong; shipping's fine. I'm a shippy guy, but that was so forced it's not even funny. I mean, Dash will probably never fly again and is still unconscious, and then she just forgets everything when Luna shows up for a little bit of fluff? I'm sorry, but no. This relationship is fully born out of a bad situation for Twilight. And while we don't know how she feels (which is another thing I don't like, but I'll save it for later) but it's probably pretty crappy given the circumstances. If she doesn't blame herself then she's so far out of character that I can hardly call this thing fanfiction. Back to how Twi feels. How the hell does she feel? We have no idea throughout this entire thing (Forgive me if I missed it; I kinda skimmed over this chapter). And seriously? She kisses Luna and suddenly her sadness starts going away? No. No no no. That pain, the pain of being, or at least feeling, responsible for something like this will never go away. It's easy to be forgiven, near impossible to forgive yourself. If you insist on Twiluna, save it for later chapters once Twilight's started dealing with the pain, otherwise it's clear as day that Luna is fully taking advantage of Twilight's situation, who will seek out comfort wherever she can because of the pain and guilt she feels.
Okay, rant over. I did this assuming she feels guilty and blames herself for what happened, but it is what her character would do, so it's not exactly wrong of me.
I'm not personally a fan of Twiluna, but I did not let that cloud my judgment at all, so that is aa unbiased as I could make it. Sorry if it comes off harsh, but it's very early in the morning for me and I am not really awake yet.
3726374
Good point, but she's the element of loyalty. It's pretty much her obligation to ensure that her friends are safe. She also thought that they would both come out unscathed.
3726164 Thanks! I'm glad you enjoy it.
3726485 RD hasn't really woken up yet, so we can't exactly see how she feels and how she's taking it.
3726291 The second chapter is in progress now.
3729563 even so i doubt she would appreciate twilight macking with the princess of the night when she is crippled and in a coma.
3729598 It was only a peck on the lips and cuddling, nothing too extreme.
3729780 macking is macking, how ever so light.
3729835 What the hay is macking
3729988 kissing, making out.
Tbh I am going to have to agree with lordofmyth's second comment and kodeake's comment, I like the concept but the execution of the story rubbed me the wrong way once you introduced luna into the story, especially seeing as luna jump at the chance when twi is prob in an unstable frame of mindafter the accident as well as dash still being in a coma in the room next door with extensive injurys after basically giving up her normal life for her,
I was liking and do like the majority of the fic but the last section just completely rubbed me the wrong way
Keep up the good writting and hope to see some more of your story ideas in the future ^.^
3731912 HUEHUEHUE Luna took advantage of her... ON PURPOSE!!
Spoiler.