The SweetieMash Chronicles
Chapter 15: Surprise Confession
-oooooooo-
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom walked down a worn Ponyville path. The three paid no attention to the warm sun above them or the gentle breeze that blew in. The weather of the day, like many days in Ponyville, was about as close to perfection as one could imagine. However, the three fillies were far too engrossed in their own conversations and thoughts to even so much as acknowledge the wonderful weather Rainbow Dash and the other weather ponies had created.
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom walked along engaged in what was one of their favorite topics, or at least one they found themselves discussing on a near daily basis: What would the three try today to get their cutie marks?
“Clock tower repair!” Apple Bloom suggested.
Scootaloo cocked her head slightly. “Pretty sure we’re still banned from the clock tower after we tried to become ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Time Travelers’.”
“Oh, right…” Apple Bloom replied. “Erm… fire fighters?”
“Nope, tried that… Like twice officially and a bunch of times unofficially! And you can forget about cutie marks in starting fires. If that was our destiny, we’d have our cutie marks already!”
“Well, you suggest something then.”
Scootaloo hummed to herself as she continued trotting along. “Hmmmmm…” She smiled. “Extreme sports!”
Apple Bloom dropped her eyelids slightly. “We tried that already too! I swore I’d never put on another set of roller-blades ever again and I think Sweetie Belle still has nightmares about skateboards.”
Scootaloo scrunched her lips to the side of her face. “Extreme sports animal trainers.”
“So that’s like… we train animals how to skateboard?” Apple Bloom suggested.
Scootaloo nodded her head up and down. “And do cool kick flips and stuff!”
“Why, that sounds adorable and really fun!” She frowned as her expression turned serious. “But is there anypony who will still let us borrow their pets?”
“Uuuuuhhh…” Scootaloo smiled as her eyes lit up. “Fluttershy would probably loan us a few animals.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “But do we really want to talk animals with Fluttershy after the last time we worked with them?”
>-ooooooo-<
“Ah now pronounce you ‘Rooster and Hen!’” Apple Bloom said as she stood in front of large rooster with red and brown plumage and a white hen. “Alright ya’ll,” Apple Bloom said as she closed the book. “Ya may kiss and stuff.”
“BAGOCK!” The rooster cried as it began rubbing itself affectionately against Scootaloo.
“Not me!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed the rooster away. “Your bride is that way!” Scootaloo cried as she pointed to the white chicken.
Sandwiched next to the chicken and another white chicken, Sweetie Belle wiped tears away from her eyes. She turned away from the ‘bride’ to the other chicken next to her. “I always cry at weddings,” she said.
The chicken next to her merely turned and clucked a few times in reply.
“Girls! What are you doing?” Fluttershy cried as she trotted out into her fenced-off hen area. Twilight followed close behind with an inquisitive expression on her face.
Apple Bloom smiled. “We’re trying to get our cutie mark in animal husbandry!” she cried.
“I’m the best mare!” Scootaloo said.
“And I’m a bridesmare!” Sweetie Belle said as she stood in a line of white chickens. “Or… brideshen, I guess…”
“Animal husbandry?” Twilight asked.
Apple Bloom nodded her head up and down. “When we heard about it, we figured we could try marrying some of Fluttershy’s chickens to each other!”
Twilight and Fluttershy exchanged quick glances and began laughing. “Ahahahahahaha…!”
Scootaloo frowned. “And just what is so—” The rooster wandered up to her once more and began emphatically rubbing itself against her “—Get off me!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed the rooster away. “Just what’s so funny?”
Twilight smiled. “… Hehehehe… Girls! That’s not what animal husbandry means!”
“It’s not?” the three fillies asked in a disappointed tone.
Twilight shook her head. “Animal husbandry is about matching up animals who have desirable traits so the next generation will carry on those traits!”
Sweetie Belle puffed out her lower lip. “But isn’t the animals deciding they have lots of things in common with each other and love each other important, too?”
The rooster once again approached Scootaloo and she pushed it away. “Go away!”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah guess it’s just as well. Ah think Mr. Rooster likes Scootaloo more anyhow.”
Sweetie Belle’s face lit up. “Hey! Maybe we should marry Scoot—”
“I will deck you!” Scootaloo said in a warning tone.
Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo. “Just how bad do you want your cutie mark?”
“Not bad enough to marry livestock!” Scootaloo replied.
The rooster uttered a sorrowful “Bagock…” and wandered away.
Fluttershy giggled quietly to herself. “Girls, animal husbandry doesn’t involve marrying the animals.”
Apple Bloom spoke up. “But Twilight jus’ said the animals are paired up together!”
Twilight smiled. “Well, that’s just because you need a male and the female of the species to breed.”
The three fillies turned and looked at each other.
“Breed?” Sweetie Belle said in confusion.
“Uh… Twilight…?” Fluttershy said in a concerned tone.
Twilight nodded. “Yep! Though with modern practices, the pair needn’t even mate.”
The corners of Fluttershy’s mouth pulled downward. “… Twilight…?” she uttered as her voice grew quieter but slightly more panicky.
“… Wait? Mate?” Scootaloo said in a confused tone. “I thought mating involved the animals being married?”
“No, no, no, no, no.” Twilight replied as she waved her forehoofs about in front of her. “You see there’s also artificial…”
-o~Ten minutes of explanation later complete with stick and dirt drawn diagrams later…~o-
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The three fillies screamed at the top of their lungs as Fluttershy hastily wiped away the diagrams on the ground with her wings.
“Twilight, what were you thinking?!” Fluttershy cried.
“What?!” Twilight said in a protesting tone. “I was just imparting information! How was I supposed to know they’d react like this?!”
“Twilight, they’re eight!” Fluttershy reminded.
“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”
“So?!” Twilight said. “I read about this when I was six and I was okay with it!” Twilight frowned and tapped at her chin thoughtfully.
“Although, Shining Armor had a similar reaction when I told him about it that night, come to think of it…”
Fluttershy gasped. “I’m surprised your parents even let you read a book on animal husbandry at a young age!” Fluttershy exclaimed.
Twilight blushed slightly. “I uh… I had read pretty much everything else in the house and wouldn’t leave my parents alone until they gave my something else to read… I guess my dad was a little desperate…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHhhhhaaaawwww…” Sweetie Belle said as she walked up to the two mares. “Is that it?”
Twilight and Fluttershy stared down at her and turned back to the other two fillies.
“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”
They turned back to Sweetie Belle.
“Aren’t you traumatized like the other two?” Fluttershy asked.
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I just felt left out is all… I mean, that wasn’t any worse than when I bugged Rarity to tell me about where foals come from.”
Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my.”
Twilight eyes went wide. “What?! When did she tell you?! How old were you? Four?!” Twilight gulped. “Three?” she asked as he eyes shrank to the size of pinpricks.
“This was like… a year ago,” Sweetie Belle said.
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Phew… For a moment there I thought Rarity might have done something that would have left a horrible mental scar on your psyche!”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “I think… I think I need some tea…” she said simply as she walked away, her eyes glazed and unfocused.
“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!”
<-ooooooo->
Apple Bloom sighed. “Something that doesn’t involve animals then…”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Clocktower repair, in spaaaaaaaace!”
Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes slightly. “Ya can just say yer out of ideas!”
“Fire fighters, in spaaaaaaace!”
“Alright, Ah get it!” Apple Bloom said. “Also, there’s no fire in space, ‘cause there’s no oxygen to burn.”
“Oh…” Scootaloo replied. “Nerd,” she uttered quietly under her breath.
Apple Bloom narrowed her eyes. “Didn’t quite catch that.”
“Uh… I guess we ask Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo said in an unsure tone.
Apple Bloom frowned. “Well… Ah guess you and I are outa ideas… I mean… it can’t hurt to ask…”
Scootaloo nodded. “Good idea! We’ll lie to ourselves! That way we’ll skip out on all the soul-crushing dread from even thinking about a Sweetie Belle idea.”
Apple Bloom gave an exasperated sigh.
“Yo! Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo said as she turned to her friend. “Idea time! Go!”
Sweetie Belle said nothing as she simply continued to trot, staring off into space.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged a quick glance.
“Equestria to Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said.
“Hmmm?” Sweetie Belle said as she turned towards Scootaloo.
“Were tryin’ to get some crusading ideas,” Apple Bloom explained.
Sweetie Belle frowned. “And you’re asking me?!”
Scootaloo nodded solemnly. “I’m afraid so…”
“Uhhh… We should… video games… French toast…”
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Sweetie Belle, that wasn’t even a sentence.”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Sounds like somepony has a certain brown colt on her mind.”
Sweetie Belle furrowed her brow at Scootaloo. “I do propeller hat— I mean not!”
Scootaloo shook her head. “I don’t get you… Just go up and talk to him! Tell him how you feel!”
Sweetie Belle sighed. “I kinda already did…”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged surprised looks. “Really?!” they asked in unison.
“Well… sorta…” Sweetie Belle said.
Scootaloo pursed her lips slightly and narrowed her eyes. “How do you sorta tell somepony you like them?”
“Well, I just told Button I thought he was cute…”
Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. “Does that even count?”
Scootaloo shrugged. “It’s a start…” She turned back to Sweetie Belle. “How’d he react?”
“Well… he started to tell me he really liked something…”
“‘Somethin’’?” Apple Bloom asked.
Sweetie Belle nodded. “And then Scootaloo came up and interrupted him…”
Scootaloo frowned. “What? When was this?”
“Right before we started hiding from Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle explained.
“Oh, so I did you a favor then,” Scootaloo said.
Sweetie Belle frowned. “Well it would have been nice if you had been just a few seconds later!”
“How the heck was I supposed to know you two were getting all kissy face with each other?!”
“We weren’t getting all kissy face!” Sweetie Belle cried. “Button was just trying to tell me he liked something!”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Like you?”
“I don’t know that for sure!” Sweetie Belle cried.
“Seriously?” Scootaloo replied.
Apple Bloom spoke up. “Well if ya don’t think he was gonna say he liked you, what do you think he was going to say?”
“Maybe he was going to tell me about a video game he really liked!”
There was a brief pause as Scootaloo and Apple Bloom just stared at Sweetie Belle with blank expression.
“… What?” Scootaloo replied flatly.
“Why would Button jus’ tell you about a video game he likes after you tell him ya think he’s cute?!” Apple Bloom said.
“I don’t know!” Sweetie Belle cried. “But I mean… Even I can tell he’s a little weird! He might have!”
“Huh… she has a point,” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, but…” Apple Bloom turned back to Sweetie Belle. “Ah mean, Button still goes out of his way to spend lots of time with ya! Ya should really just tell him how ya feel!”
“But what if he doesn't like me?!” Sweetie Belle cried.
“That’s stupid!” Scootaloo replied. “You’re stupid! Of course he likes you.”
“Ah’m with Scootaloo on this,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah mean, I think it’s pretty obvious Button Mash has really taken a liking to you!”
“Fine!” Sweetie Belle huffed out. “But what if he doesn’t like, like, like me?!”
Scootaloo knitted her eyebrows slightly. “You mean, what if he like… only like, likes you?”
“Or even just only likes me!” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.
Scootaloo thought about this. “Well, that’s like… How he likes me and Apple Bloom—”
“You mean, ‘Apple Bloom and me’,” Apple Bloom corrected.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “… Apple Bloom and me, and we know he likes you more than that! He’s got to at least like… like, like you!”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “Wait, I thought we knew I like, like, liked Button Mash but he might only like, like me.”
“I just said that!” Scootaloo huffed out.
“No, ya said ‘like, like, like’,” Apple Bloom replied.
“No I…” Scootaloo stopped and thought about this for a moment. “Alright, I did say the word ‘like’ three times, but I like meant like just saying like then saying ‘like, like.’ Get it?”
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom exchanged confused glances then turned back to Scootaloo.
“Not at all,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Alright, Ah think we need to start watching how we use the word ‘like’. Ah’m having a bit o’ trouble followin’ the conversation at this point.”
“Look!” Sweetie Belle said. “What if he only like, likes me!” Sweetie Belle put on a slightly panicked expression. “What if he feels pressured by my feelings?! Smothered even! All because of my overabundance of like for him!”
“Is that even a thing?” Apple Bloom asked.
“It could be!” Sweetie Belle cried. “I’m not sure I can take that chance.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Look if he like, likes you, I’m sure he could learn to like, like, like you given time!”
“But what if he doesn’t?!” Sweetie Belle cried, her voice becoming increasingly panicky and shrill. “What if he figures out he can’t get past like, like and then we’re both trapped in this uneven relationship of like?!”
Scootaloo stared up as her brow went down. “How does… how does that even work?”
Apple Bloom spoke up, “Ya mean like when you’re on the see-saw with somepony who’s either a lot bigger or smaller than ya and it’s really hard to go up and down, but neither pony wants to be the one to suggest it’s not working, so ye’re both just stuck awkwardly trying to work out a good see-saw rhythm until recess is finally over?”
Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah get stuck on the see-saw with Pip a lot…”
Sweetie Belle nodded as she pointed a forehoof at Apple Bloom. “Yes! That! Exactly like that! And I’d be the fat pony in this case!”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom cried in a protesting tone.
Scootaloo’s face contorted in confusion. “Wait, did you just call Apple Bloom fat?”
Apple Bloom turned and furrowed her brow at Scootaloo.
“What?!” Scootaloo cried as she motioned out to Sweetie Belle with a forehoof. “She’s the one calling ponies fat!”
“I’m not calling anypony fat!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “I’m just trying to figure out what I say to Button Mash!”
“My suggestion is that you don’t call him fat,” Scootaloo said.
“I’m not— He’s not—I wouldn’t— UUUUUHHHHHHGGG!”
The trio of fillies started to encroach on the large treehouse in front of them.
“Look,” Scootaloo began as she trotted out in front of the girls. “This is really, super easy!” The other two fillies stopped as Scootaloo stood on her hind legs. “You just flutter your eyelids like this!” Scootaloo fluttered her eyelids as she held her forehooves together next to her chin. “Place a hoof on your forehead.” Scootaloo glanced up briefly as she raised a hoof to her forehead. “Then you prance around for dramatic effect.” She twirled a few times and caught herself on the trunk of the tree. “Then you say, ‘Button Mash! I adore you! You’d make me the happiest girl in all Equestria if only you’d become my special somepony!’”
“Scootaloo?!” a familiar voice called from the other side of the tree.
The trio of fillie’s eyes all went wide. Sweetie Belle’s mouth slowly opened as a quiet squeak escaped and her lower jaw sat unhinged.
Scootaloo gulped and slowly moved her head forward to see what was on the other side of the tree, fearful for what she expected to find. Her worst fear was realized as she saw a brown colt wearing a propeller beanie stare back at her.
The rectangular device emitted an angry tone. Normally this would cause a reaction from Button or a cry of some sort, but he didn’t even acknowledge the device in his hooves. He simply stared wide-eyed at the orange filly in front of him.
“HI, BUTTON!” Scootaloo cried. “FANCY SEEING YOU HERE!”
“Uh… Hi Scootaloo…” Button replied. He slowly stood up to his hooves, paying no attention to his Joyboy as it hit the ground. “I think… I think I have to go… because… the cat’s got my homework…. and… hay fries…” he uttered. With that, Button turned and broke into a gallop. Quickly putting distance between himself and the tree with a dazed expression on his face.
“Right…” Scootaloo uttered to open air. “See you later…” she hung her head and sighed. “Sweetie Belle, I’m sorry.” She turned, oblivious that there was a green glow behind her that was quickly growing in intensity. “It was an accide—SWEET CELESTIA, SAVE ME!” she cried as she locked eyes with the furious-looking unicorn in front of her, Sweetie Belle’s horn already humming with violent looking energy that swirled around her horn.
“Run! Jus’ run!” Apple Bloom cried. “I’ll try to hold her back.”
“But I didn’t mean…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…!” Sweetie Belle let out a high pitched screeched as she aimed her horn.
Apple Bloom quickly leapt on her and tried to talk some sense into her. “Sweetie Belle! Stop! She didn’ mean to…!”
“I’M RUNNING! I’M RUNNING!” Scootaloo cried as she broke into a gallop at top speed.
Green bolts of energy fired off from Sweetie Belle’s horn. Scootaloo could smell the burning plasma in the air and hear the magical energy crackle as zipped past her, narrowly missing her and flying off into the air and ground in front of her.
‘PHOOOOOMCHH! PHOOOOMCHH!’
“…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…!”
“Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom cried as she wrapped her arms around Sweetie Belle’s neck and attempted to get her to cease her firing. “That’s Scootaloo yer shootin’ at! She’s yer oldest, bestest friend!”
‘PHOOOOOMCHH! PHOOOOMCHH!’
“WHHHHHHHYYYYYYY!?” Scootaloo cried.
Wow...
Sweetie got it real bad if she's willing to fry Scootaloo for a simple misunderstanding.
And no one make any chicken jokes about my comment, mm'kay?
Oh... oh dear... and cue even larger misunderstandings...
Oh man it just got interesting...
4578368
SCREW YOU! I do what I do!
bubblews.com/assets/images/news/210606034_1398713750.jpg
Sorry if I insulted you.
Traumatized? You want traumatized? Get your kid to watch one of the Aliens movies at age 8.
4578393
Traumatized? You want traumatized? Listen to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, this-
I'm not sure who's talking here.
4578404 Thankfully never listened to a single song of his.
4578368 but the Colonel's in need of some crispy strips.
Holy, salamander, cuddlefish.
This wont end well knowing angry sweetie
4578422
Some kids on my school are giant dicks
4578368
Thanks for that nugget of thought.
It was very tender.
What you did to strip it of fluff was well done, I thought.
...and I'm spent.
XD that was sooooo funny!!!! poor scoots who knew button was behind the door?
4578405
4578417
Got this one! Thanks!
You just made me terrified of the word like- KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
they
*SNRK* I'm guessing this involved a lightning rod, a silver chariot, and the horrible realization that no pony can run at 88 miles per hour?
Don't do this. The Apples don't do this. They can, in fact, pronounce "you" correctly. And do. Like, almost all the time.
*DIES* You know...Scootaloo chicken jokes NEVER get old.
OH MY GOD I'm dead now. That killed me.
And oh my GOD, Twilight actually blithely explaining what animal husbandry REALLY is...
Why stick and dirt? Twilight can do that whole laser hologram grid thingie...
Also, this is the second story I've read today that involved the CMC learning about sex under awkward circumstances.
Now I demand you write a story about the CMC making a video game about French toast.
That would be kinda painful.
taken
*DIES*
*DIES HARDER...IN SPAAAAAAAACE*
Uh-oh.
hoof
i don't think i will ever read the word like in this fic the same way ever again.
4578582
Got these! Thanks!
What was going through yor head when u posted this madness?! LOl
Scootaloo why are you running?
Just toss a Chicken in front of Sweetie and you could pull a disappearing trick.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-_jcZI4Ag6I
Simply glorious.
oh foolish Scootaloo first she breaks the heart of a poor rooster and then breaks the heart of Sweetie Belle, upon which Sweetie Belle kills Scootaloo.
i think this might actually help Sweetie Belle finally get the guts to say what she feels against Button Mash
Well, Scootaloo's royally bucked. About time Sweetie got to use her Horn Lasers.
Hoo boy you had me cracking up! That was too damn funny, well played. I'm excited every time I see this update, and I never, ever walk away disappointed. Love this story to pieces, keep em coming.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
This chapter had me laughing so hard.
Wow, after reading this chapter I realized the most obvious chapter that should be in this story. There should totally be a how Love tap got her cutie mark chapter lol. Especially since the other mares said it was because her special talent was basically being a mother. I'm pretty sure she had to have gotten it late maybe by baby sitting or even after she gave birth to her first child. Just the thought of not getting it till your married and with a kid would be horrifying to the CMC and that could explain why Button really wasn't concerned about getting his cutie mark since he may have heard that story millions of times.
Scootaloo better book it out of Sweet Apple Acres before Apple Bloom can't hold Sweetie Belle back anymore.
4578786 Please stop spamming this same comment over and over again.
an?
You mean began, right?
Sweetie Belle is ridiculously overprotective, isn't she? Scootaloo didn't even make him cry and she wants to blast her friend to tiny pieces.
After everything has calmed down:
Applejack's not going to be happy about what you did to her trees.
Sorry. Will you forgive me, Scoots?
Sure, just try not to do it again.
Looks like Sweetie Belle took a page from Shining Armor.
I really like this story, like really like, like, like it. Before I just like, liked it, but I think that I can likely say that I really like, like, like this story.
And thanks, I needed this story. It was a good change, in one of the stories that I am reading Apple bloom impaled Scootaloo with a lance, then Sweetie Belle coldly sank a dagger in Apple bloom's heart. I needed to see them again as friends doing silly things.
And the end, what is a small attempt to murder between friends?
I really like this story, like really like, like, like it. Before I just like, liked it, but I think that I can likely say that I really like, like, like this story.
And thanks, I needed this story. It was a good change, in one of the stories that I am reading Apple bloom impaled Scootaloo with a lance, then Sweetie Belle coldly sank a dagger in Apple bloom's heart. I needed to see them again as friends doing silly things.
And the end, what is a small attempt to murder between friends?
Poor Scootaloo.
4578393 I watched the Aliens movies around that age and I'm fine.
Okay, 'like' doesn't even look like a word now.
spoiler alert: button mash like, like, like, likes sweetie belle and HE gets all panicky
Never have I heard anyone use 'like like like'. Only 'like' or like like'
That whole conversation was really confusing
Y'know how when you say a word too much it starts to lose its meaning?
4579004
That might not be a bad thing touch upon, but I'd probably do it as a stand alone fic like Eleven Months. Though it's possible I could do it like in a flashback like The Cutie Mark Chronicles. I noticed last arc that Love Tap is pretty good at stealing the spotlight then laughing maniacally to herself as she gallops away with it.
At this point I don't even know what the word like means anymore. Aniway, I loved this chapter, and I'm extremely curious about what is going on in Button's mind. I mean, he obviously like likes sweetie, and he only likes scoots
Well, maybe the Crusaders can get their cutie marks selling Kentucky-Fried Scootaloo
The word "like" no longer looks as if it is even a word.
omg! sweetie, why would you do that?! just thinking about blood and gore... what the flippin' hay are you THINKING?!?!?!?!
4578582 why scootaloo, why would you make your bff so mad?!
4579348
Y'all were that old when you watched Aliens? Yeesh. I was 5. Or maybe I'm thinking of Nightmare on Elm Street.
Meh. Details.
He he he.... Sweetie belle won the battle but not the war XD
he had to walk in and hear something completely out of context.
4578368 TOO BAD, she is haveing scootaloo for dinner.