I struck my most regal pose, one hoof resting on the arm of my throne and the other tucked elegantly under my chin, as I stared off into the distance. She'd be here soon. Was this really how I want her to see me? Too arrogant. Too pretentious by far.
Maybe if I slumped back in my throne a bit like a couch potato. Is this how all the hip cool youngsters sit? No, this is ridiculous. I look a right fool.
Off the throne entirely then. I don't want her to even think of me as a Princess. But I can't just stiffly stand here in the middle of the room. Should I lean against one of the pillars? Maybe put on a 'Hey there, pretty lady' kind of face. Eyebrow raised. No, no, no. This just looks like I'm trying too hard.
Crown on or crown off? Damn, I should have told Raven to stall her for a bit. Maybe I should go and greet her as she walks up. Yes! That's it. I want her to know how glad I am she came to see me. Meet her half way. I trotted briskly over to the huge steel double doors that lead into my throne room.
The doors burst open, one of them slamming directly into my forehead and sending me reeling off to the side. As the door swung open the whole way I found myself squashed between one of them and the wall.
"Oh geez, I'm sorry. Did I push the door to hard? I thought it would be heavier than it was," I could hear Ditzy's voice despite now being pinned between the steel door and the wall
"No harm done. Step this way, Miss Doo," said Raven as she lead Ditzy into the room. The two of them had not even noticed that they had bashed me in the face with the door. How embarrassing could this be. But being smashed in the head by a steel door was not nearly enough to hurt anything more than my pride, thankfully. Ascended Alicorn's are legendarily resistant to physical harm. And the good news was that neither of them had become aware of my presence, jammed behind the door as I was, as they entered. Now all I need to do is step suavely out from behind the door and... and... I... I can't move.
My horn had punched clean through the metal door as it opened and was now lodged into it. I tugged and yanked trying to free it but it was stuck fast.
"So... uh... where is she?" Ditzy glanced around the empty throne room before her.
"That's strange... she was just here a second ago..."
Come on, come on, come on. Get free you blasted thing! I placed both hooves on the door and heaved but it wouldn't budge even an inch. Please don't let the two of them turn around. The thought of Ditzy seeing the Princess of all Equestria stuck horn-first in her own door was mortifying.
"Perhaps she returned to her chambers?" said Raven.
No. No, no, no, no, no. Don't turn around. I felt my frustrations channelling into my horn. Power flooded forth, surging through me. A sudden burst of heat poured out of me. I felt my horn loosen as the steel door melted into a puddle of glowing molten slag.
Ditzy and Raven swung around as they heard a hissing noise.
"This... uh... this door was bothering me so I... got rid of it," I said, glancing frantically between my guest and the stinking pile of molten steel at my hooves.
There was a long silence broken only by the sizzling of the now liquefied steel door.
"We'll get a more suitable replacement immediately your Majesty," said Raven, looking worried, "I'll... leave the two of you alone."
I was blushing again, worse than before.
Ditzy, bless her heart, did not probe me as to why I had suddenly decided to melt one of the doors to my throne room.
"I got a whole load of letters to deliver all over Equestria but I figured, since I was gonna be in the area, maybe I'd pop in and say hi... Hi!" she smiled, her tail wagging cheerfully.
"Big work load today? I hope you didn't have to wait too long to see me," ah, small talk. I love small talk. I get so little of it in my day to day life.
"Yeah, Penny had to make a big important delivery to some Canterlot bigwig so I'm handling her workload for the day," I felt a stab of guilt. I should have just invited her. She would have come if I just invited her. I can be such a coward sometimes.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Ditzy."
Her laughter rang through the hall, "Nah, lots of letters to deliver isn't a bad thing. I love my job a whole lot. My only worry is that Dinky will be mad at me if I don't make it home for dinner in time. But hay! Maybe you can help!"
I blinked at this, "Help?" I suppose I could have some of my servants deliver the letters for us so that she could stay here and relax. Is that what she means?
"Sure. You can come with me on my rounds. Help me deliver some mail. You any good with maps? I could always use a navigator," Ditzy grinned.
"You'd like me to come with you?"
"Unless you're busy or you don't wanna," she said, looking dejected, "I'm sorry. It was a dumb suggestion. I just... don't have much time to spare and I thought maybe this way we could... be together a little more."
"No! Not at all. That's a wonderful idea. I'd love that!" I blurted out. Me. Immortal Princess of the sun. Delivering mail. How fun! But what does this mean? Something like a first date? Or am I thinking too deeply about this?
"Really? For real? I mean... you'd actually wanna do that with me? 'Cos I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do this. Not everypony enjoys wandering around Equestria as much as I do."
Her forcing me to do this. Ha! How cute.
"Raven! Come out. I know you're still there."
Raven stepped backed into the throne room wearing a sheepish grin.
"I certainly wasn't eavesdropping, your Majesty."
"Yes, I certainly hope you weren't," I gave her a knowing wink, "I'm going to need you to do the following: reschedule my meeting with Fancy Pants to this evening over dinner, tell Spitfire to speak with Ms. Harshwhinny about the bid, she's staying in the palace guest room. Tell Spiral I'll have the schedules sent to him by tomorrow. And tell Blueblood to go jump in a lake."
"Is your Majesty going out?"
"Yes. I think I'm going to try being a mailmare for a day."
And next time, while Celestia and Ditzy are out delivering the mail, Dinky takes over as princess for the day.
Preferably with concrete horseshoes! Celestia as a mailmare... this should be fun!
I can't get enough of this story. Another Chapter! *smash!*
3790874
Dinky as princess! Oh my I don't know if Equestria would handle well with a foal in charge.
Oh my gosh Celestia so awkward! And Derpy is just great being all blithely ignorant of societal expectations and asking the goddess ruler if she wants to help out on a mail route.
I like Daedelean's idea, Dinky handles the princess duties for the day while Depry and Cely hang out delivering mail 8D or somepony maybe having a dream about that happening,
I don't know, it's you story,
So bring more! Soon please.
i despise shipping with all my being. and i think this is hilarious!
3790874 th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/030/4/3/princess_derpy_by_alasou-d5ta6aq.png
Agreed!
Hahaha Blueblood go jump in a lake xD
Twas hoping for more hatred against blueblood, but celestia as a mailmare..... That would be ackward. Seeing your princess flying high above your head, delivering your mail....... Tehehehehehehehehehe
Ooooooohhh
This is just sooo precious!! I love the characterization of Celestia! She's crushing so so so very hard right now! I just can't get this smile off my face!!
Congratulations, Canterlot! You get the REAL Royal Mail Service now!
Watch as these two mess it up.
This is going to be awesome!
3790923 Try Bringing Up Blueblood. It does a good job of redeeming BB without destroying his character.
Great Is Celestia going to change into her Sunny Days disguise?
3790923 3791478
That's the thing. He's such a complete and total prat that redeeming Blueblood without basically rewriting his character while still seeming genuine is very hard.
If you don't mind a lot of Rarity, The Flight of the Alicorn is a very good read. There's far more to it than just a redemption storyline for Blueblood, but all of it is awesome.
3790899 what you think blueblood never did anything political?
Nothing good can ever come from this.
Oh god
3790923
Silly Kev, natural disasters and monster attacks are Twilight's problem, haven't you seen that pattern by now?
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJoMjAxMi8xMC8wMy8wMl8xOV8xOF83MzBfMTEyMjkzX19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9wcmluY2Vzc19jZWxlc3RpYV9pbWFnZV9tYWNyb19xdWVlbl9jaHJ5c2FsaXNfbWVtZV9uZXdzBjoGRVQ/112293__safe_princess-celestia_image-macro_queen-chrysalis_meme_the-simpsons_news_adventure-in-the-comments_404.jpg
melting a door.. real smooth Celestia.
3793562
I'm too busy ruling my new crystal sla-empire. I meant empire.
3794832
It is called the Crystal Empire....
Few. Finally off the front page so I can relax and start taking my time. Although, I still have nooooo idea where this story is going.
3795877 Then let it wander of its own accord. See where it ends up. It's doing nicely so far.
3795877
and then they had de secks.
God Celestia is so cute when she flustered!
Oh, this is good. You've done a good job setting up how lonely and negleccted Celestia feels and nothing feels forced at all. you've definitely put a lot of care into this. I can hardly wait until the next chapter.
3790923 I have once.... but I didn't read it.
3790923
Well...depending upon what exactly you mean by this, have you ever read this story?
Hehehehe, cute... just cute.
Nice!
3793688
I guess you could say that she had a ... hot flash!