“All right, so basically you just want me to help you capture and/or maim Rarity, right?” Scootaloo cast a quick glance over her shoulder to the diamond dog who was standing behind her.
The dog nodded. “Yes, pony. We catch the white pony, and you get gems, yes?”
Peering through the bush, Scootaloo watched as Spike dug into the ground where Rarity had just indicated. He pulled out a handful of gems with a greedy look in his eye. Scootaloo smirked, “You can keep the gems. I just want capture and/or maim Rarity. My chest still hurts from where she tore my heart out.”
The diamond dog arched an eyebrow. “In love with older pony?”
Scootaloo shot him a horrified look. “What? No, I meant literally. Have you been reading my diary?” She shook her head. “Nevermind. As long as I get to help you capture and/or maim Rarity, that’s all I care about.”
A long, drawn out, and over-exaggerated, groan came from behind Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, saying, “For the last time… we’re not maiming my sister.”
Scootaloo spun around. “She maimed me!”
“Yeah, but she doesn’t get do-overs.”
Scootaloo sighed. “Ugh, fine. We’ll just capture her.”
The diamond dog, without saying anything, looked back and forth between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle while shaking his head.
“And just to make sure we’re clear,” added Sweetie Belle, tilting her head to the side a bit, “you’re not allowed to hurt Rarity, okay?”
“Yes, yes, little pony,” said the diamond dog. “We make her dig, but we don’t hurt her.”
“All right, good.”
Scootaloo frowned, leaning in towards Sweetie Belle. “I get why I want to get back at Rarity, but why are you helping these dudes?”
Sweetie Belle let out a soft sigh. “Well, look, I felt kinda bad about tricking you into getting your heart torn out, so I figured I’d help get revenge.”
“Aren’t you worried about Rarity being taken prisoner?”
Sweetie Belle laughed, waving her hoof dismissively. “Please, like they’re going to keep her prisoner for more than five minutes. Have you ever been trapped in a room with her?”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Just the once…”
“Trust me,” said Sweetie Belle, turning her attention to Rarity and Spike, “she’ll be fine.”
Scootaloo wiped her brow, grinning like an idiot. “Welp, took a bit of work, but we managed to get Rarity.” She turned to the diamond dogs that were gathered around her. “Guess this is goodbye, fellas. Been nice workin’ with ya.” She glanced over at Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie?”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Let’s get out of here. Celestia forbid if Rarity finds out were a part of this.” She shuddered.
As the two fillies started to walk away, one of the diamond dogs held out a paw. “Wait, little ponies. We’re not done yet.”
Scootaloo turned back around, raising an eyebrow. “We’re not?”
The diamond dog grinned wickedly at her. He motioned to the two dogs standing next to him. “Not quite.”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide as she shouted, “Scootaloo! Look ou—” But everything went black before she finished.
A few hours later, when Scootaloo started to regain consciousness, slowly but surely, she realized that they were still in the same place that they had been before: the middle of nowhere. She forced herself up and saw Sweetie Belle lying next to her. Placing a hoof on her shoulder, she woke Sweetie Belle.
“Buh… huh?” Sweetie glanced around, saw Scootaloo, and immediately shouted, “I had nothing to do with it this time.”
Scootaloo arched an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? Those diamond dogs just left us here. Guess they didn’t want to share the gems or whatever.”
“Uhh…”
“Wait, what is it?” Scootaloo started looking around frantically. It was only when she tried to twist her torso that she noticed an immense pain coming from her side. She looked down and saw a row of stitches running up her waist. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. They took my freakin’ kidney!”
Sweetie Belle raised her hoof, pointing to Scootaloo’s other side. “Uhh…”
Scootaloo twisted her head to look at her other side and saw more stitches. “Aw crap,” she muttered. “There goes my other kidney too. I was saving that one for a special occasion.” Looking at Sweetie Belle with puppy-dog eyes, she added, “You don’t, like, need kidneys to live, right?”
Sweetie Belle put on a crooked, and what she hoped was reassuring, grin. “Uhh… sure! Although,” she said with a bit of trepidation, “I don’t know how you’re going to do without all the rest of your, uhh, stuff.”
That’s when Scootaloo looked down and saw the myriad of stitches criss-crossing her chest and back. “Oh boy…” Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell over, a victim to the seldom-used underground organ trade syndicate.
Underground organ trade syndicate, eh?
Seems legit.
By the Nine, a Charlie the Unicorn reference?!
Somewhere out there, an open sewer grate is waiting for you.
I totally get that reference, sadly there was no candy mountain involved.
Da lulz that go with harvesting organs is great! :D
While Sweetie Belle went completely unharmed.
This kind of gives Scootaloo an... empty feeling.
No guts! No glory!
Does this make her an organ donor?
“There goes my other kidney too. I was saving that one for a special occasion.”
Was that a Sarge reference from RvB Season 2?
4205054 I guess they just didn't like chickens
The surgery was performed by Pinkie Pie.
In her basement.
Oh my god.
Scootaloo is an infinite source of organs.
I'm going to favorite this for the sole reason that you made me think of LordKatt
Yet they left the eyes in? Those would be a rather valuable organ, don't you think?
Apparently, Scootaloo is a more valuable blood type than Sweetie...
I wouldn't have thought 'everywhere' was a terribly rare type.
...I would never have imagined that such ludicrousness could ever have been seen as wisdom just a few weeks ago
4205070
mabye instead of playing a harp while flying to heaven
she takes the elevator while playing the organ.
Didn't see that one combing.
4206004 Oh god, like Rampage in Project Horizons. I don't even want to think about it
no words can possibly describe the awesomeness of this chapter
4203923
Welp... Serves me right for thinking I know things... *Poker face*
This does have something to do with the Show Stoppers episode...
That Scoots; what a cut-up!
4207284 HA!!!!
This one was good LOL!
Sometime I want someone doing a more serious take on this, cause the concept that everyone knows is a really fascinating take on the 'reset after every death' thing that I haven't seen before, and it would be interesting to see a serious version done exploring the ramifications/why she resets.
But for now,
4205077 you sure know your rooster teeth
Diamond Dogs love valuable things. Gems, heroes, organs...
Honestly I just glanced through this chapter, I sure hop it wasn't...vital to the story.
Cutie Mark Organ Donors! YAY!!!
I wonder when the people in these comments are going to stop quoting the Kenny line?
4214108
Knowing both Fimfic and EqD, my money's on "never".
Was that a Charlie the Unicorn reference I saw?
"Now you stuff the bird and put it in the oven."
4214464
We can always live in hope.
Just like in the episode
4214464 I wonder if those organs are being sold to Pinkie Pie for her Cupcakes
This Is All That Came Into My Mind Its a video...for Charlie the unicorn you've been warned.
Seriously the kidneys....destroyed me!
Ah, poor Scoots. She's not gonna see any money from those organ sales!
she shouldn't of said that her heart got torn out
This was ridiculous and hilarious.
In love with older pony, diary...
Was that a "Scootaloo Diaries" reference I found in there?
4205077
Yes