Sometimes in friendships, love can cross a very fragile and unseeable border, leading two certain ponies into an unexpected relationship.
all rights to art and the vectors to the original artist. Images found on google.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 12th Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Feb 15th, 2016
Kayes
I'm a student that loves to write fanfiction, an aspiring author, and an avid World of Warcraft gamer.
Kayes
Joined 12th Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
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Don't you mean writes?
This is pretty amazing! The pacing was right on track, the emphasis was perfect, and the passion was there! There could've been a bit more adjectives/description, but that's all that really caught my attention. Never-the-less, I don't think I've ever read a story this short that was especially moving. Keep up the good-work!
Very well written.
3989577
Yes, thank you for the correction. :) Sorry, I was a bit tired when writing the description.
3991334
No problem. I enjoyed the story, very heartwarming
3991350
Thank you. ^-^ It wasn't the best written, I'm a bit sick at the moment.
Much happy!
Such feels!
WOW!
100% good!
It was so cuuuute!!!
It's weird - I've gotten used to scrolling down the comments to find either SolidFire or Skeeter The Lurker... Lurking. Curse them for having me trained!
Anyway, on to the real comment - a great one shot. Rather than focusing on the whole physical, psychological aspect of getting into a relationship, you focused on the positive emotional aspect. It seems that' same rarity in and of itself in Fanon - we enjoy hurting our ponies too much to care about their feelings. I'm glad you tried a different route.
You need to break up these long and boring paragraphs with something else, it's hard to read.
4888597
38 other people would disagree, and foremost, my paragraphs are very detailed. It's a story, not a poem.
4958680 Sorry. It was just my opinion; I wasn't saying it as a bad thing, I was saying it as an observation. There was no malice intended in that statement so please don't interpret it as such.
I give it the thumbs up cause I see potential. This story could use a proof read to fix some words that are wrong, and some grammar errors. It could also be much better if it was longer and better paced. Skip some information and add more of other things. I wouldn't have thumbed it up if I didn't see all the potential it has.