Twilight Sparkle, a new ruler in Equestria, has only been a princess for a few weeks. She just returned from an adventure in a new world that she never knew of, but she still doesn't feel ready for life as a leader. On the other hoof, Flash Sentry is just a new member of the Canterlot Royal Guard. As a member of the guard, his job is to protect the three princesses in Canterlot, as well as tour with them wherever they go. He also develops a slight crush on the princess, but is the feeling mutual? As a tradgedy falls upon Canterlot, their true feelings must be revealed to save the world!
Ps. First story!
Chapters (2)
Gotta love the FlashLight-based dislikes.
Except for the tragedy part, it looks a lot like A Guard and a Princess by TorontoFCBrony... I'll make sure to give it a read!
Good job with this story. I recommend adding maybe what the characters are feeling into the story. I think that may help you with your writing.
Oh look, a promising Flashlight fic being hated on by anti-flashlighters.
Please remove the author notes... they are distracting.
Also please consult the writers guide on dialog, among other things. Golden rule: each person speaking gets their own paragraph, and never bunch dialog together. Using said and action tags are not always required; but that first block of text has way too few of them.
FlashLight gets a lot of down votes, but some of those down votes are probably due to grammar. I'm not down voting, but wanted to help.
Have an upvote on me. Flashlight needs to be encouraged.
Your chapters are awefully short. Don't be in a hurry, make sure you have enough story to tell. Try to make each chapter establish an important part of the plot.
You also have a very strange way of formatting your text, with double-spaced paragraphs except during dialogue. Every new dialogue line is it's own paragraph so I suggest you space them as well. Either that or use indents instead, though double spacing seems to be more popular online and makes the text seem longer and more open.
Your story is very good so far,keep it up!
the way I see it, use those down-votes to improve. Try to see where you went wrong, and work from there. If anything, go to a proofreading group, and have someone look over it. They can give pointers and really help a story.
First, just fixing some mistakes:
New speaker, new paragraph!
Actually, looking at it from a grammatical point of view, it should be more like:
Name's=Name is.
Some tips:
At times it's hard to follow what's going on. Try to read your story outloud to yourself. You'll notice it. That really helps.
Also, try to add some description into your writing. Show the emotions that the characters are feeling.
Don't rush your chapters too much. Try to slow down the pacing a bit, so your readers have time to get into the story.
I wish you luck!
4139062 Thank you for the tip! I'll make sure to include it in my next chapter!
4139743 Thank you!
4140082 Will do!
4156244 your welcome
I am interested in the story-line, and am definitely intrigued to read more. I would like to point out one mistake.
You misspelled "Equestria." Just something I saw. Keep writing though! This story has good potential.
When are you posting the next chapter ???
Whoa whoa whoa, back it up a bit. I can understand Flash being transferred to Canterlot, but how the hay did rainbow become the wonderbolt captain so easily, amd how did Spitifre let her?
Anyways, great story, do wamt to read more.
4441494 I understand your confusion but in this story Spitfire was never captain and Rainbow Dash joined the Wonderbolts and became captain and is the fastest of them all.
4728266 I see... Why was it cancelled? If it was because dislikes, that's going to happen. Some Bronies/pegasisters really like and hate this ship, so you shouldn't stop because of that, I didn't.
4729136 Oh no it's just I got lost in my story and just could not seem to get back on track! Feel free to read my new story Hour of Twilight! It has some Flashlight in it but mostly Twibra!
Wow, that's a good story
! And I'm being as honest as Applejack, 'cause there isn't a lot of truly good FlashLight stories out there
.
But anyways, keep up the good work!
???
It... it was CANCELLED?!!
..... 
This is... *wheeze* this is...
lh3.googleusercontent.com/-DX3w2ePUKx8/U9xdi4_et2I/AAAAAAAAAaw/AKanBXKS420/w500-h273-no/FANMADE_Rarity_This_is_the_worst_possible_thing%21.gif
5038230
Wow...... Did not think something like that would happen.... Sorry, maybe reading my new story will.... cheer you up? 
5055171 Maybe.
Vary good come back sentry.
5055171 But why it cancelled ?❓❓❓❓❓❓❓