Blueblood takes a walk.
And gets covered in Nutella.
(Well, this is my first story attempt EVER so criticism will be greatly appreciate'd)
P.S
Please be gentle
Chapters (1)
Cade117
Joined 13th Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
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>story about best stallion
>story about best hazelnuttygoodnessyummalicious spread
>insta like and fave.
The punctuation and grammar could use a lot of work. The story itself has a good premise, and I found many parts to be quite funny, and that can be a lot harder to pull of than grammatical slickness. You have some good ideas, and the skill will come with time and practice. Keep writing! I would like to see more from you!
~Doc
4084485
Oh thank you SO MUCH, for the morale support.
Woah, that really does deserve the Random tag. You should edit it. It has TONS of mistakes like capitalization, commas or the letter 'i'. And Prince Blueblood is spelled like that.
random comment
Nutella is good. I just got it a couple days ago (before I read this).
4084506
Yeah well when you make a fanfiction on a tablet, auto correct helps, and trips you up every step of the way.
And as for "random" any story I make is bound to make cabbages fly.
REMIND YOU OF ANY OTHER STORIES?
But good job nonetheless.
Also,
THE CAPITALIZATION AND SPACING IN THIS STORY GAVE ME EBOLA.
4084553
?
What's Ebola
4084544
Nope.
4084571
A deadly Congo disease that liquifies your vital organs so they pour out of every orifice in your body.
4084633
Cool, that sounds gruesome!
You need to write a series of short stories. The world will end if you do not do so.
Think of the world!
4085892
Okay I will leave this choice to you...
Which story do you want to see next.
"Rarity gets foal napped by Mexicans"
or
"daring and dinky do find the cabbage of truth"
Chose wisely..or the world will end...dun dun duuuunnn
4086130
It does not matter which one is written first, for only together can they form Atrexis, and prevent the Helangi Confederation from detonating the moon.
Where the heck is this back-and-forth going?4086359
I shall make them intertwine than!
Daring and ditzy do have to battle the Mexicans to free rarity and get the cabbage of truth, were the Mexicans gain their strength!
The moon is safe!
It'll take a while though I'm a rather slow writer
to the moon!!!4086685 Well, I'm not necessarily saying they have to be the same story.
4089126
Okay I'll chose...
Dang, this is a hard decision.
Well i liked it, have a thumbs up. The only thing you might want to do though is slow down a bit when you are writing, i noticed a few missing words here and there. Otherwise a pretty fun read.
4159510
Thank you I'll be sure to slow down on the next story I write.
4161551. Well good, i would like to find out more about this, cabbage of truth.
4162298
Yeah I'm still working on it but it will be done eventually!!
4162702. Awesome.
Why hello! I haven't even read this story but I did think it would be an interesting read due to my love of Nutella. If you'd like criticism, I believe you should start by capitalizing the title in proper places. Can't wait to read! Hope I helped.
Probably not tho
Fixed, as close as I can get it: Prince Blueblood slept in an Optimus Prime-sized bed, under the plushiest of blankets upon a mattress filled to the brim with roses, with a mare on each side of him.
I would go through the whole story making grammar and punctuation fixes, but I don't want to sound like a jerk. That aside, I found this story to be full of random crack-induced goodness, and I love random crack-induced goodness. Good job.