Following the realignment of the Elements of Harmony, Princess Celestia ponders the destiny of her loyal student Dusk Shine. As she recollects all his successes and failures on the path he chose for himself without her guiding hoof, the great question does not become any easier to answer...
Can she really hand the future of Equestria and perhaps all ponykind to such a cold, solitary, and faithless stallion?
Rule 63 Twilight fic, alternate universe and moonlit contemplation. What more could fans ask for?!
Chapters (1)
Cue Dusk taking over the world.
Wow. That was interesting. I have to say good job with the plot and the alternate universe. I can't wait to read your next story.
Excellent story. You did a very well done job of portraying Dusk as the anti Twilight. Our favorite part of the story was the conclusion of the wedding scene. Got a lot of sad feels out of that one. Hope to see Dusk again some time.
anti twilight is quickly becoming my favorite character
Wow. This was amazingly well done.
Are there any other good fics like this out there? I really liked this one.
I'm... beyond impressed with this. You took an interesting concept and ran with it, and managed to turn it into something that's not just interesting to read, but almost heartbreaking.
I'll admit, looking at the description it almost reads like you're trying to compile a few too many fan tags (Rule 63, AU, etc.). But you pulled them together well. The only thing I question is whether the Rule 63 is truly necessary in all this...
Not because I'm against that sort of thing. I greatly enjoy fics like "Cross and an Arrow" and such. But you did such a fine job with this I'm not sure it even needed to be Dusk Shine rather than Twilight Sparkle as the central character. I suppose making it Dusk allowed for a few interesting directions and helped to drive home the idea this is a different character, but I really don't think it'd have lost much just being an AU one-shot about Twilight.
Really that's a very minor thing. The story is well written and each of the flashbacks is extremely effective. In the end it's a lovely bit of "What could have been" if Twilight were just a little more stubborn. Add in an ending that's both tragic and slightly frightening and there's just nothing more that needs to be said.
4134106 if you find any would you be so kind as to send them my way? cause this is awesome
(well, that was depressing...)
I guess he's returning to Canterlot, I can't see him staying in Ponyville after that.
Great story!
4135294 Thank you for your comments, and to answer your observation about Dusk Shine being the protagonist instead of Twilight, I did it for three reasons. Firstly, as you yourself said, to really drive home the fact this Twilight is different from the canon. A lot of prospective readers might have just skipped over the fic without a second glance unless I made it clear that it was an AU in ten words or less, or in this case, a picture.
Which, in turn, relates to my second reason: since I'm not a famous writer or artist on fimfiction and relatively new to all things brony, this fic would probably have gone completely ignored without some obvious fan tags, like Dusk Shine.
And the third reason, because I felt like it! Heh!
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I've heard worse reasons. Truth be told I'm not much to care about the reason behind a choice so long as the result it excellent.
Still, this does raise a few questions. What happened to the link of the Sonic Rainboom? Someone as smart as DS would have eventually figured out that the annoying blue pegasus mare would have been the instigator.
I wonder how "Apple Bucking Season" turned out, now that AJ had no one to reign in her pride and keep her from collapsing from exhaustion.
And what about Sombra and the Crystal Empire?
Would the seeds of chaos still have power to sprout and kidnap Celestia and Luna? How would DS have handled the situation then?
I also wonder if it's plausible for him to sever the connection between the EoH and their bearers, and also him not seeing the defining trait in any of the mares. Heh, I can imagine Celestia ordering him to NOT sever the connection again, and his response, "With all due respect, Your Highness, that is insane, and suicidal for Equestria."
Or, if he kept rejecting the EoH's connection with them, would the Element of Magic eventually reject him?
"Tartarus!! I said DISCONNECT!! Why the buck do the Elements keep linking back to irresponsible ponies like YOU!?"
Though that problem would be solved once the Tree of Harmony were found....IF he manages to find it.
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I hope so
Dusk Shine>Twilight
... I'm so happy, this is one of the best fics i've ever read
Who is 'Him?' Shining Armor? Who? Seriously, who?
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Heh, I would love that sort of comeuppance. He'd have had it coming.
4367050 I think he's comparing Dusk Shine to King Sombra, ruler of the Crystal Empire. Shining's afraid that Dusk Shine would become a second King Sombra, who would eventually try to take over Equestria, and fail in the process.
4458644
That actually makes sense.
Reading this again, I wonder if DS would have first thought to set up a spell that would teleport all the smoke from that dragon off to the Badlands, or maybe even seal that mountain. Or cure the dragon of his snoring.
It's too bad this story is a one-shot, it really does have incredible potential of expanding.
I can imagine DS on his deathbed, and completely alone except for Celestia and Luna:
"You think you have surpassed Starswirl in his abilities, and maybe you have, but you have been so short-sighted all throughout your life, that you never knew that you could have been SO much more. You see your life as one huge accomplishment, but even now you're unable to look back and see it as a total waste, compared to what you COULD have been, if only you had taken an effort to trust those who wished to be friends with you. Now, here you are, alone, wifeless, childless, estranged from your family and all your relatives, just as Starswirl was. Congratulations, Dusk Shine, you have become his equal, just as you have wished. And that, sadly, is all that you will be remembered for."
5100393 Harsh, but fairly close. Nah, DS would have eventually got friends and family, though probably not a fairy-tale scenario - just relationships of convenience.
I considered featuring PotO Dusk Shine in another fic, but featuring an AU character in an original plot line... Well, that almost never works and I don't like doing that anyway. Gotta keep enough of everyone's favorite canon if I want to get readers.
The whole premise was meant to conclude that DS might have been denied the alicorn transformation if he had a different outlook than Twilight. Same victories plus different attitude equals BIG difference in the outcome.
5102675
Sure, but now what will happen with Sombra and Tirek?
Did you intend that beam to be powered by Shining Armor or Dusk Shine? Because the next scene suggests that it was Dusky who linked up with her.
Other than that minor nitpick, this was a nice read. Sufficiently different from canon to be compelling, and I really liked your depiction of Dusk and Shining's rivalry. Although it's marked as complete, I would be supportive of any decision for a continuation/sequel.
5102675 I think it would be a lot funnier if Dusk managed to find a way to go beyond, perhaps not in an alicorn manner, but something more twisted, like a wrong branch of the evolution tree that wasn't meant to be explored. As for relationships I don't really see this Dusk having a family any time soon.
The story was amazing, I really liked Dusk's character and the drama was intense, Shining Armor kinda dug his own grave with that one, maybe Dusk's father as well, the letter scene felt so obvious yet you felt the punch since we are aware of the different paths that would've happened. I give this story a 10/10 and I have hopes of a sequel in the future, not high obviously since this was meant as a one shot, but who knows, I would really like to see Dusk yet again counteract Celestia, like I said above acheiveing power akin to an Alicorn without being an Alicorn.
5843184 Hey, that's not a bad idea at all. He could become something like Tirek, but probably not so evil.
this story has gotten me thinking, what if there is an opposite power to the Magic of Friendship
Read this long ago, liked it. RE-read recently, still like it.
It just leaves me with an unsettled feeling of how ominous Celestia is about not giving Dusk his chance to ascend.
My headcanon would be Cadence would seek out Dusk again, and this time to show sincerity she would clue Dusk in to what he was supposedly promised but never given. Then certainly not soon or immediate, but eventually a reconciliation between the two and after much work and promise have Dusk work out a way after all. Go for a more grey ending, not dark.
This Dusk seems to have more moral restraint than King Sombra, but a shifty personality otherwise. He'd save ponies, but he certainly wouldn't care about them otherwise.
Of course, Princess Celestia 'freeing' him from his studies may be the wrong thing too. Dusk Shine in this story seems to be the type to easily research into some highly advanced, possibly dark stuff that may give him his transformation anyways. The plunderseeds might not be active anymore now that Discord is gone, and if Tirek escapes again, well, Dusk might just be interested in reversing his magic-sapping spell, though setting it to the magical environment...
Saying that, Princess Celestia seems to have failed as much as she sees Dusk having failed. She kept attempting to set up the situations and often botching them.
Nice twist on the original story, I enjoyed how different the interactions between the characters ended up being, particularly with Cadence and Shining Armor.
5102675 Ever thought of writing a sequel? I'd read it.
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I have thought of it, but with this Dusk its more difficult to follow the canon storylines, since he has no contact with the Mane Six and most of the "hard" episodes after this point focus on Twilight's alicorn princess destiny, which my Dusk doesn't have. And if I branch out to an alternate future I'd be practically guaranteed zero readers...
Anyway, I'm working on something new now...something that I hope will rock MLP fandom...
This story was pretty great. AU stories are always fun when they add new twists to already established stories. and i enjoyed this one.
That being said. I know this was written a while ago and i regret not seeing it when it was first posted. But if we were talking hypothetical sequels. Than it could be one where Dusk gets a reality check and realizes what an absolute disappointment he is to the princess and those that care about him. Than maybe he could make reparations and reclaim that unknown destiny of his through the power of friendship.
Maybe after making some huge mistake that hurt himself or everyone around him. If nothing else it would make for a good redemption story.
hmmmmmmm.
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Adopting it as my headcannon as well
It's a little creepy........but I like it
In this universe, imo the problem is Celestia. She had both Sunset and Dusk turn out very similarly, in quick succession.
Original title was better. So much better.