TheOnly
Joined 20th Mar, 2012 ·
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Comments from the author: Enough rainbows and gum drops, I just had to write a dark story. It's REALLY short, and there's a lot of details missing, but that's the point. You're supposed to feel out of the loop. A lot of details are omitted because they are supposed to be left up to your imagination.
Just had to write a dark, depressing story to get it off my chest. Hope you enjoy (or don't enjoy?) this story.
It's a quick read and totally juxtaposed to my other story (R.A.I.N.B.O.W Dash) and it doesn't contain any of the mane 6 but it was an idea for a story that I've had for quite a while. Just had to write it down on paper.
It came out exactly the length I wanted it too (2000 words). It seems like the perfect amount because it gives you just enough information to create the story, but doesn't give enough to clear the smoke.
Let your imagination flourish.
"But where does the ultimate sense of duty lie?"
IN THE CALL.
to be honest, not bad.
i called that plot twist halfway through
knew the plot twist about half way, but still a tense story. also like the 'no ladida gumdrop' attitude.
Ahhh I sorta figured it out before the end. That is one unlucky guard. Written well, and good!
383504 grrrr... too many people figuring it out before it ends. Looks like I gotta edit it...
383515 It's not that obvious. I'm just clever. hahaha. It wasn't until the fight so that's pretty far in.
383536 Yeh but the story doesn't have the same feel to it if you see the ending in hindsight, but meh, not much I can do to stop clever people from reading the story....
Indeed.
When are you going to do the next chapter of separated? I've been waiting for a while :3
AW MAN! so sad! poor guy. poor family. Neither of them deserved that!
Great story, but one of the most touching stories here on fimfiction.
keep up the good work.
I only figured it out when he went for the saddlebag and found the snowglobe. Somehow I expected Applejack after reading about how hard the guard got kicked.
Good story though! Has a nice crescendo of emotions towards the end.
Well that was certainly stunning. Apparently I am not quite as sharp as those nearer the first comments as that plot twist threw me for quite a loop. I had to reread it a few times. Wow that would, well, suck. Excellent story and written with no grammatical mistakes significant enough for me to pick up on. Excellent job.
Quite a shock at the end. I had a suspicion it may have been Big Mac because of the kick. Still a very good read, albeit tragic.
So SAD!!!!!!!!
So sad
*reads end* ... huh.
*leaves and is absolutely unaffected*
Holy shit.
That's all I have to say.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
6260431
Ey, same.