Comments ( 55 )

Scoots, what are you doing.
Scoots, stahp!
That ending... Wow.
PS: FIRST! Huehuehuehuehuehuehue

Ha, it looks like Scoots has fins. :rainbowlaugh:

Hmm...

Liked it. I usually don't care for OrphanLoo stories, but this was just the right bit of sweet and sad to make it work. The twist came completely out of left field, but it worked well for the story. Kinda like, and I assume this was intentional, The Sixth Sense, in that once you look back you can totally see the signs.

Short, fluffy, and sweet. I likey!

Also:

"One of these, I'll be able to fly just as well as Rainbow Dash."

One of these days

You know, I love it and hate it when I figure things out halfway through.

Applejack winced, straightening her hat. "Land's sake!" She giggled. "Whew! Quite an echo!"

"You said it, sister!" Rainbow's voice returned.

Scootaloo chuckled to herself.

Or early on in this case. Ruins the feels. Damn. Have I become too jaded? :ajsleepy:

Nice little story, though.

Garbo #6 · Apr 6th, 2014 · · ·

4189145
It's a sad story and all you can say is that scoots looks like a fish?
Never change, Bob. Never change.

You know, I started getting a creepy vibe there at the end.
I got a headcannon about this fanfic:
Rainbow Dash died before this story started, and Scoots is just imagining her through the entire story.
All the dialog still makes sense with her deleted, and it adds a bit more desperation to the bonding time.
What a :twistnerd:!

im just confused what exatly happend here?

Applejack said in chiding baritone.

Looks like Applejack finally got that sex change.

Damn, dude... This was a gem of one.

Poor Scootaloo...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Took me longer than it should have to figure it out...
But first couple of paragraphs in hmmm...skirts story that seems cute and happy. Prepare for feels, this is gonna be a doozy.

Y-Yeah. I, uh... wow. That was... damn.

Damn.

Very rarely do I favourite one-shots... :heart:

Fantastic there at the end. It blindsided me.

I think maybe the reason I like this story so much is because it's a perfect example of a higher tier of writing that I'd love to achieve someday.
All my story ideas, from things I've actually written to things that bounce around in the back of my brain, are so focused on the action. It's always some crazy adventure or space-quest or situational comedy. It's never about the characters, but only about what they're doing. This story is exactly the opposite of that. In all respects, the "actions" that Scootaloo and Applejack do in this are boring. It's just a short little day of activities and then sleep and then breakfast. It's something deeper, more character-focused, that makes this story good. Something that makes boring activities into something more fun to read than any headbutting action scene. It's super humbling, but at the same time it's the ultimate encouragement to keep working until I can write with that 'something'.

...or maybe I just love sad!Scoots.
*shrug*

Dammit, skirts; you and your emotional wizardry. :raritydespair:

I thought it was kind of odd, how detached Rainbow was from the action, always kinda doing her own thing around AJ and Scoots. And then it clicked. And am I right in assuming that Scootaloo finally flew at the end? Really nice closure, in a sense.

They should take heart, though. They'll see Rainbow again, as they cross the Styx. :pinkiecrazy:

I like it. Sad and bittersweet just how I want it

I read this story through the first time and didn't get it.:rainbowhuh:
Then I read it a second time It clicked why Applejack didn't respond to Rainbow. :pinkiesad2:
A very sad and tragic story but also a happy one as well.
Well done, Short skirts

You did it again

-Xgenmine

Have some spikestache

:moustache: :moustache: :moustache: :moustache:

So resisting the urge to make a CMC version with DT and SS as the landlords.

John Ritterloo

Apple Debloom

and... yeah, we don't even have to mention who Sweetie Belle is.

Something about Silver Spoon as Don Knotts is... it just feels so right. Those two are very expressive in the way they talk.

Anyhow, time to partake in the reading of fav CMC.

That was a turn, I was starting to wonder what was supposed to be sad. That final quarter of the story was worth it though.

That was a sweet little story.

Well played, good sir.

First, I love stories with an Applejack/Scootaloo relationship. They're so rare because these two barely interact in the show but I can see them being very close.

Second, I really didn't expect the ending. I feel stupid but it really caught me for a loop. Ah, this was really nice!

This was beautifully done. Made me :applecry:

"But, I swear, this place has my middle name written all over it..."

Vivian?

Scootaloo cupped her mouth with two hooves and shouted into the Gorge. "And that name is 'Awesome!'"

Oh.

In any case, an excellent bit of subtlety, provided the reader doesn't look at the comments first. (Fully aware I'm not helping there. :derpytongue2:) The "Sad" tag certainly applies, but this is the sort of sad story I really like. It's not about wallowing in sorrow, but moving past it. Releasing the emotional ballast and soaring high, even with tears in your eyes.

Sorry for the cheese. Thank you for this, skirts. :scootangel:

That's... wow. That is incredibly well-done. I'm assuming it's been some time since AJ adopted Scootaloo, because I doubt Scoots could be so willing to let RD go if it was recent. At the end, when Scoots and Rainbow talk for the last time... The feels, man. The feels.

4191773
There is nothing I can comment to tell you how much I cried...
My heart is now broken and falling into my stomach...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

1.I'm bit confused (That may be because a kinda skipped through it) can some pony explain was happened to me? :scootangel:
2. Where did they sit during the game?:rainbowhuh:

Comment posted by juter4397 deleted Apr 8th, 2014

Terrific story.

Love the new cover art. Closer inspection can spoil the ending, but most people would only notice it after reading.

Very timely, releasing this on the weekend of Wrestlemania 30. About halfway through, I was thinking to myself how much better a sister Applejack would be than Rainbow Dash. Now, I kinda feel horrible about that.

Fantasic, from beginning to end. The twist hit me hard, but that just made it all the more touching. Well done.

Heh. I actually had to read the comments to figure things out. I feel silly now.

I just noticed, Rainbow Dash isn't casting a shadow in the cover art.

"Dead all along" stories don't touch me anymore, since Bittersweet referenced that one episode of Scrubs (you know the one).

This is an excellent story. Every single line is packed with character. You know how people share screenshots from the show showing very subtle changes in facial expressions from frame to frame showing how the different characters react? This is the literary equivalent.

Is this a sequel of .until the last pony is ferried. ?

I didn't get it, but now I do... I guess if you made it a little more clear what was happeningbi would've liked it more but, eh, who cares, it's still good.

Hap

4198226 Dude.

I. Did. Not. Notice. That.


I'm not sure about the end though. Is Scootaloo trying to fly, or trying to jump to her death? Maybe I've read too much Skirts...

4189264 I don't think "understanding the twist ending" counts as headcanon. It's just... canon.

Yup, a solid story. Your shorter pieces are getting really polished, especially the dialogue that, through its realism of the "people don't normally have conversations; they sort of talk across each other" sort, successfully concealed the twist. I didn't even hate Angsty Scoot in this, which is a bloody fine achievement in itself.

I wondered why Rainbow didn't eat anything, but that was it as far as picking up on clues; I didn't guess the twist until the moment she appeared in Scoot's room.

Freaking awesome story I didn't even notice AJ didn't acknowledge Rainbow at the beginning but the end made it much more clear.

Too sad.... you my terrible and evil author are too good. Keep it up. :scootangel:

There was a spot (or more) that could of used a tad fixin but the only major one was:

"Applejack was already bursting through the back door with Apple Bloom in tow. Not long after, Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom scurried behind. The four galloped across the dewy grass of the farm in the crisp light of dawn, coming to a skidding stop at the bottom of the silo."

With Bloom in tow then Bloom scurrrying with Mac there seems to be no Granny and then there are four of em (without Granny mentioned) goin out to see Scoots or I'm reading something wrong.

Hope I'm not being a bother to ya.

Meh, no feels were had. RD's death is far to abstract as to invoke any reaction. Also, this is a story by SS&E, and I saw the cover. Dash has no shadow.
One plus one makes two.

I just finished watching Tokyo Magnitude and I saw that twist coming a mile away. I should have caught on to this one sooner. Muchas Kudos.

oh my goodness. i caught onto the twist too late before I could prepare myself ;-;

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