7. Out to the Undiscovered Ends
Rainbow Dash’s stomach was turning somersaults as she knocked at the cottage door. The wood had deteriorated further in the weeks since she had last been here, and she only narrowly avoided a nasty splinter. At first, there was silence from inside, which made Rainbow feel bad. When she heard Fluttershy’s soft hoofsteps approaching, she felt much worse.
The door opened.
“Dashie!” Rainbow didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t this. Fluttershy pulled Rainbow inside and kicked the door closed with a hind leg, before wrapping her wings around her friend in a warm hug. “Oh, Dashie! I’ve missed you so much. I was so worried I’d gotten everything wrong and I just didn’t know what to do.”
“Wait, what?” said Rainbow, blinking. “You worried you’d gotten everything wrong?”
Fluttershy let go of Dash and sighed, her eyes downcast. “When you were here before, and I made you feel bad. I felt awful about that, and I really wanted to apologise—but when you didn’t come back, I thought I’d made you mad. I waited and waited and you didn’t come, and I thought it would be too late. I thought—”
“Too late? You thought I didn’t want to be your friend any more?” Rainbow’s mouth dropped open and she stared at the other pegasus.
Fluttershy shook her head rapidly and shuddered, screwing up her eyes as though to put the thought out of her mind. “No!” she squeaked. “Of course not! It wasn’t that. It was that, well, I really wanted to talk to you about something. I know I could have come see you in Cloudsdale, but I really had to care for an orphaned mouse. The poor thing was shivering with cold when I found him in the garden.”
Rainbow Dash dabbed the corner of her eye with a hoof, she hoped surreptitiously, and declared, “Well, I’m here now!” spreading her wings expansively. “But what’s up, ‘Shy? You could have just sent me a letter.”
Fluttershy looked flustered and said, “I, um, well, that’s the problem, really. I have something I really need to give you—give you in pony, I mean. But I was getting worried you wouldn’t be back for a long time after the mailmare told me that you had some major weather event coming up in Cloudsdale.”
“Yeah,” said Rainbow, nodding. “Though it’s not exactly for Cloudsdale. We got a big order in from Canterlot. Big order; they want a whole bunch of rainbows for somepony’s cute-ceañera next month. Won’t tell us whose it is, but I guess it’s some big-shot unicorn at the Castle or something. So we’ll be working double time on that until it’s all done and dusted.” She sighed. “And I’m lead mare on this job. Which means I have to be there all the time; I haven’t been able to try out my Wonderbolts routine for three weeks now.”
“Oh, you poor thing. Why don’t you sit down? Then we’ll have a nice cup of tea and you can tell me all about it.” She trotted lightly to the stove without waiting for an answer.
Rainbow hesitated before taking a chair, surreptitiously prodding it with a hoof as she hovered above it to make sure the cracked wood would take her weight. She flicked her mane out of her eyes and settled into her seat.
“Sure,” she said. “Not that there’s a lot to tell. It’s just... I can’t get any time to myself, you know? It’s all work, work work. I mean, yes, it’s nice to have a whole load of weather pegasi looking up to me and trusting the calls I make – but sometimes I really miss the old days in the Factory.”
“You miss your old co-workers?”
“Heh. No. Not those lunkheads. What I miss is being able to get away from them. Go have a nap or... or...” Rainbow waved a hoof, unable to find the right word.
There was quiet for a while, then the kettle sang and Fluttershy prepared the tea. When the pot was ready, she filled the two ponies’ cups. Rainbow was actually slightly surprised that the liquid didn’t leak out of the crazed, chipped china containers. Still, the tea was good. Very good. Rainbow wondered idly where Fluttershy had learned to prepare it so perfectly. She was starting to think she might actually ask for some tips when something occurred to her.
“Hey, ‘Shy,” she said.
“Yes?”
“You said you wanted to give me something?”
“Oh. Yes.”
Rainbow leaned forward and waggled her eyebrows. “Aaand?”
Fluttershy blushed. A moment later, Rainbow felt warmth in her own cheeks. The room suddenly felt uncomfortably hot; Rainbow was relieved when Fluttershy spoke again.
“Well, I knew your birthday wasn’t very far away, and I really wanted to give you a present. But then you didn’t come to visit all that time, and I started to get worried. And with how busy you’re going to be over the next few days, I don’t know whether I’ll see you again before then – so I think I’d better give you the gift now.”
“Okay, I guess that makes sense. Though... how’d’ya know my birthday was coming up, anyway?”
“Um, because I know you?”
Rainbow gave a mirthless chuckle. “Oh, yeah. Right. So, uh, what is it?”
Instead of answering her friend, Fluttershy glided out of the room and disappeared upstairs. Rainbow could hear her muttering as she rummaged through drawers in her bedroom, though she couldn’t make out the words. Dash looked around the kitchen, noting without surprise that the cracks in the ceiling had lengthened a little more; that the damp patches on the ceiling had spread a little further.
After a little while, Fluttershy reappeared, a slight sheen of sweat visible on her forehead. She was holding a tubular parcel about a foot long, simply wrapped in cyan paper and tied with a bow of ribbon in rainbow stripes. She didn’t offer it to Rainbow, however, instead pointing to the front door and saying, “Come on, I think we should go outside for this.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Um, because it’s a lovely evening?”
Rainbow gave Fluttershy a sideways look, but shrugged and said, “Well, I guess that’s true at least. Let’s get moving, then.”
The two pegasi landed on the far side of the lawn, close to the chicken coop. Fluttershy stood on the western edge of the grass, her back to the sun, her soft shadow just clipping one of Rainbow’s forehooves. A chicken clucked briefly and Fluttershy paused to listen, ears pricked, brow creased, eyes wide and attentive. She never really stops, mused Rainbow.
The clucking ceased and Fluttershy relaxed. She turned her attention back to Rainbow, holding out the package for the other pony to take. “Happy Birthday, Dashie.”
Rainbow Dash accepted the parcel, if a little hesitantly. She ran a hoof across the smooth wrapping, then raised it to her ear and shook it, prompting a half-stifled giggle from Fluttershy.
“What? Don’t tell me you never do that!” She shook the parcel again. “Okay, I give up. What’s so special about this thing that we have to come out here, anyway?”
“Oh, I really can’t tell you that before you open the package, Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy, smiling slightly. “It’s a surprise gift, after all; you’ll need to read it for yourself.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Rainbow’s face crinkled into a frown. “‘Read’? You’re giving me a book for my birthday? Flutters, I’ve told you before, I do not do reading. I’m an all-action mare, not some fusty library nerd. So yeah, nice thought, thanks a lot for the gift and all, but... maybe you should give this to somepony else?”
Fluttershy’s voice was barely above a whisper, but it was firm and strong.
“No. It’s for you. And it’s not a book; it’s a scroll. Please, Rainbow, at least open it first.”
Dash relented rather gracelessly. “Oh, all right, I’ll open it. But I’m only doing this because it’s a gift from you, Fluttershy. I’m not gonna be guilt-tripped into becoming some kind of desk-jockey egghead. I’m still the future captain of the Wonderbolts; my cutie mark isn’t a pile of dusty old library books, you know.” She gripped the bow carefully in her teeth and began to untie it.
Fluttershy brushed her mane out of her face and looked at the ground, nodding to a tiny shrew that scurried past. A songbird called his challenge from atop a rose-bush, from somewhere in the middle distance a train whistle sounded its mournful note and there was the ever-changing yet constant whoosh of the wind soughing in the unnatural treetops of the Everfree Forest. A tiny cumulus cloud scudded just above the line of the cottage roof, momentarily dimming the shadows still inching their way along the well-nibbled grass. Otherwise, the sky was clear and still.
Until—
“Flu-Fluttershy?” Rainbow’s voice had entirely lost its brashness and impatience. “’Shy, is this seriously what it looks like? It’s not some weird prank? You bought the...? Is the Cloud House...?” She brought a hoof hesitantly to her chest.
Fluttershy looked up, and answered with her eyes. Rainbow steadied herself for a moment, letting the box fall and clutching the precious paper tightly between her forehooves. Her vision was growing blurry as her eyes began to fill.
Rainbow Dash still didn’t like crying. It was still silly and fillyish. But there was another way. She laughed, loud and long, the sound bouncing off the wall of the cottage and echoing through the garden. Eventually, she collected herself and looked straight at Fluttershy.
Fluttershy looked straight back.
“But how?” asked Rainbow Dash at length. “How the hay did you...?”
“My dad never gave me a home,” said Fluttershy. “Not a real one, at least. But he can give you a home.”
Rainbow screwed up her face in confusion, then all at once her eyes were wide and staring and her jaw had dropped open. “No. No, you can’t have. No way.”
Fluttershy rolled her eyes, an action so unexpected that Rainbow almost dropped the deed scroll. “Yes, Rainbow. I can have. And I did.”
“But the Cloud House was so—”
“Expensive,” interrupted Fluttershy. “Yes, it was. To be honest, I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to afford the price, even with Dad’s money and the little extra I was lent by Ra—by a really generous pony whose pet I sat for sometimes. The bidding went even higher than I was expecting it too, and I, well, I sort of got carried away at the end.” She dropped her eyes to the ground, the edge of one forehoof scuffing along the grass.
“So... you didn’t even have enough left to mend all the cracks in the plaster and buy a few plates and stuff?”
“Well, um, I would have, even with having to pay for this, but then I wouldn’t have been able to afford to care properly for all my little animal friends. I really couldn’t have borne that.”
“You could still have told somepony about it! ‘Shy, you could have told me. I’m making plenty from the weather job now, and I’d have been able to help you out. You’re absolutely crazy!” A sudden grin split Rainbow’s face. “Hey, how about we both go crazy? I’ll accept this gift from you if you accept my help in fixing up your house? Do we have a deal or what?”
Fluttershy laughed. “I guess we do.”
The pegasi embraced.
A short while later, the sun sank beneath the cottage roof, setting on two ponies standing in silence and sharing their moment. There would be many other moments, but never again would there be this moment.
The spell was broken by the arrival of another pony into the deepening shadows of the evening garden. It was Rarity, resplendent in a deep red gown with richly metallic, burnished-gold accents. Fluttershy couldn’t help noticing the jagged claw marks that marred the hem.
“Good evening, Fluttershy,” said Rarity. “And good evening to you, Rainbow Dash. I know it’s terribly rude of me to barge in on you like this, Fluttershy, but do you think you could possibly manage to give me a spot of help with dear Opalescence tonight? She’s been dreadfully fidgety all day, and I don’t really know what’s causing it. I do worry about her.” She patted at her ruined hem. “And I was supposed to be wearing this dress in Canterlot next week.”
“Of course, Rarity,” replied Fluttershy. “It’s always lovely to see Opal again; I’m sure she’s grown so much since I last saw the adorable little thing. Though I do hope you’ll excuse me if I wait here a little while longer, just until Rainbow and I have been able to talk some more.”
Rarity frowned and turned to the other pegasus. “Far be it from me to quibble, Rainbow Dash, but shouldn’t you perhaps be thinking about flying back to Cloudsdale? It’s already starting to get dark.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, but Fluttershy raised her head and said, “Oh, I think she’ll be staying here in Ponyville tonight.” Seeing Rarity’s eyes begin to widen, she blushed and said hurriedly, “Um... no... I didn’t mean... well, um, maybe it would be best if Rainbow explained it all for herself. Dashie?” She turned to look at her fellow pegasus and the embarrassment drained from her face, replaced by the simplest of smiles.
Almost lost from sight in the gathering gloom, Rainbow Dash didn’t answer at once. She was watching the sun rise in the west.
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a nice cute way to end a nice cute story
6052552 Thank you! That was the idea, so I'm glad it came across.
Where has this been hiding? It was such an adorable and sweet story I can't believe I barely read it today. I'm supposed to be studying for finals!!!
I really like this story so much. Amazing job writing it.
6052785 Oh dear, I hope my story hasn't interrupted your studies too much!
But seriously, thank you very much. I'm a huge fan of FlutterDash friendshipping and really wanted to write something centred on that friendship -- plus I find that friendship adorable and sweet myself, so I'm delighted you found this fic so enjoyable. 
Nicely done. Very neat to have read a story about how Rainbow Dash ended up with the cloud house. Very nice wrap-up to your story (: even in just friendship it's so cute
6058274 Thanks very much!
I'd wondered after seeing "Pinkie Pride" why on earth Rainbow would move house on her birthday -- and then the idea that the house was actually a present took shape. 'Shy's and Dash's relationship is just friendship in this fic, but that there were times when it might have become something more (eg the bit leading up to "The moment passed" in ch. 1). It just didn't happen to work out that way for them in the end, and they simply became extremely close friends (as seen best in "Hurricane Fluttershy"). 
6088337 More thanks are in order!
Um... undercover otter service?
Actually, I'm going to keep that one as it is. Non-standard it may be (and it is!), but I feel the cadence of the phrase is better with semicolons than with dashes, and I don't want to change the wording. This one was a deliberate piece of rule breaking -- for a change!
I agree with you that the original version of this line needed changing, but in the end I decided to remove the commas entirely. I don't like the sound of a significant pause after "Here", you see.
6188327 A big thank you is in order!
There's nothing I like more than getting feedback on a story, and yours has been wonderful: interesting, helpful and (let's be honest here, we're all a bit vain in this game) gratifyingly positive. I've already fixed some of the technical errors, but thanks for pointing out several more, which I'll get to in the near future. A few specifics:
1. "Any more" is standard BrE, although "anymore" is creeping in, as American forms tend to. Actually, "for ever", "per cent" and "apple sauce" are correct BrE as well, though the first two of those are coming under severe pressure from the one-word versions.
2. We don't use "farther" that much in BrE; "further" is generally used even for distances. "Farther" isn't incorrect, but it's relatively rare.
3. BrE has spent the last century or so gradually dropping full stops after abbreviations, at least outside formal writing. "Mrs" is the usual British form.
I'm keeping it, since I want the slight pause after "she felt", which you don't get without the second comma.
Yep. Maybe a little over the top, but Spitfire is also still a bit young and brash at this point, albeit not as much as Dash. I don't personally much like the "drill sergeant" persona she was given for S3, but it was useful here. (Also, it gives Rainbow another reason to be determined to show Spitfire how good she really is in "Wonderbolts Academy"...)
Mm-hm. I didn't want Fluttershy to start out an orphan, so she needed a parent, and I couldn't ignore the fact that we've heard nothing about her family in the show. But I got fed up with the number of stories in which Flutters' dad is outright abusive; I didn't want to go down that road (note that 'Shy isn't malnourished) and so this fitted quite well. (Heh, another Briticism there: "fitted".
)
Quite right! I think that actually needs splitting into two sentences, with "She spread her wings expansively." at the end.
Well, um... thank you!
I think what I meant in my comment was that it had several problems that I really should have fixed. (The "accessing the archives" minor sub-plot goes nowhere, really; I may add a paragraph to ch 5 to counter that.) I do like this fic, though, and I'm very happy that you did too.
And thank you too for reading this bloated comment!
6189645
Well, quite. Every so often, I think about making a blog post about the particular challenges of being a British fanfic writer in an American fandom... maybe the upcoming hiatus will give me the time to actually do it!
Major spoiler about her in the SDCC panel, I see. No more details here, except to say that I'm quite glad I'm not still writing this fic!
Anyway, thank you once again. Now, let's see which of your stories catches my eye...
6191242
One or two little bits, just to see what the style was. I'm saving the whole thing for the actual episode. :)
Well you keep telling me I should actually write reviews instead of just reading fics, and I have Finally worked my way around to this one.
I agree with @rocket that This is a much better Rainbow Dash Story Than many I have read, that may be helped by how she is in the background as it were. I also agree with @Emylia+Hawke about Spitfire and really like her here too.
I'm not too sure about Fluttershy though, at times her behaviour seems a bit erratic (but this could be on reflection, makes here more like a real pony).Sometimes it is hard to know if you are in RD's head or Flutters, fox example the bit in the garden (I really thought they ere going to kiss), I was surprised to find myself suddenly in RD's head.
6226574 Thanks very much!
As far as Fluttershy goes, her behaviour being a little varied was deliberate, though if there are any specific points where this got in the way of the story then please do tell me. You're right that I can sometimes have a problem with perspective-hopping. I've been working on improving that, but this story was started so long ago that it doesn't show so much here! Still, I don't think it harms the story as a whole and I'm not changing that last chapter now, as the last paragraph needs to stay at all costs and I'm not recasting the whole chapter to be Dash POV. 
Dash and 'Shy were never going to kiss, though. My headcanon (in this story, at least) is that there have been times when being more than friends might have happened (there's one in chapter 1!) but that it never actually did, and that they're now happy as deep, close friends.
In reading this story on a whim, I was really digging it at first. Characterization and voices were strong for both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. The headcanon and lore were interesting as regards Fluttershy taking up a fashion class, which seemed to be a setup for her later drake seeing knowledge in “Suited for Success” (and use of the phrase ‘haute couture’).* All that and more was enough to compel me to read the rest in one go.
* And hardly any pegasi are interested in clothing or fashion, huh? I think Kerfuffle would like a word.
But sometime around Chapter 4 - and the warning bells were ringing before then - it became clear just how disjointed this fic is. From chapter to chapter, whole characters and subplots were tossed out and then not touched upon again until much later, and usually in an offhand way as though they didn’t matter.
Easily the biggest offender here is the archives subplot: a scene in Chapter 2 makes a big deal out of not telling us what Fluttershy wants to get in for. Then Chapter 3 tosses out the reason why as an aside quickly, as though it didn’t matter, a massive reduction from the size of the Checkov’s Feather last chapter. Then it’s never touched on again until an offhand mention for getting the will of Fluttershy’s dad, and though that is true, her original reason - checking her pegasus ancestry - is not even alluded to, and as the subplot is never brought up again, it really just hangs there.
I did say that was the biggest offender, nothing else was that conspicuous. But other things often felt weirdly vague of sketched in, a result of the fic’s episodic nature of making time-skips leaving many aspects barely explored, like the fic keeps changing its mind what it wants to focus on. Consider Fluttershy’s dad - I get you wanted to avoid the abuser angle and didn’t want Fluttershy to be an orphan, but this makes such a show of not hinting what his deal is (grieving his wife, and thus emotionally aloof? Just a strict father?) and other then Rainbow Dash feeling he was a jerk, we’ve nothing to go on.
In general, the constantly shifting focus (not just between the two leads, but what they were working on achieving in each chapter), episode nature, and time skips often distracted. I can easily imagine a fic making time skips each chapter, letting up pick up what’s happened in-between via context clues, and using the jolted effect of such a technique as a mood setter. However, that didn’t happen here, and instead it simply felt like the fic was restarting every chapter (maybe not at the beginning, but certainly by the midpoint). Which I suppose it was, given the increasing gaps between chapter updates by then.
Indeed, it’s startling how many ideas come and go, working in the moment and then never again. Fluttershy having to put dying animals down frequently? Great! It never matters again except for some slight inferred moments that are just window dressing in a few scenes. Rainbow’s dressing down from Spitfire? Her training/Wonderbolts plots basically vanished at that stage, and you could argue that’s the point, shifting priorities, but it just happens off page without comment. I could name more, but you get the idea. Perhaps all this would be less obvious when reading the fic as it updated, but they stick out massively in one sitting.
It certainly felt like the story was being improvised as it went, at least in much of the details, margins and how the scenes that played out. The broad goals of the characters, and the fic’s concluding point, did remain in focus and were properly built to. Fluttershy wanting Dash in her life so badly, Dash needing Fluttershy as a rock as she starts to gradually mellow out and grow up at the end, it’s all touching, and leaves the ending almost as strong as the start. And even the disjointed events throughout, by and large, always fed into the characters. So, you know, it still broadly worked, and the solid base character work and voices meant that even when it was a disjointed mess, it was never less then compelling enough to keep reading. The short length and short chapters help there - much like a 11-min cartoon, it never has long enough for the disjointed focus to really start to grate, either by chapter or across all 18K.
In the end, the character work, arcs, voices and sheer plethora of ideas, nods and canon setups is enough for this to notch a Good. Had it been properly planned out, selecting which of the numerous subplots and side details actually mattered and given them ample showcasing, and adjusting the episodic nature and delivery of the time skips (which always felt like “oh, I get it now, but the text did not imply this well, even through writer-to-reader telepathy”) to feel like a feature rather then a bug, we’d have something here. As it is, it’s a pleasurable read, especially for Fluttershy/Dash friendshipping fans, but a scattered, unfocused one. But being close to eight years old, I won’t judge outside of this fic.
11140631
A really big thank you for this! It's not often nowadays that I get detailed feedback on anything, so this is really welcome. I do largely agree with what you say here: the story is disjointed, and as you speculated the length of time it took to write surely had an impact on that. From time to time I've considered going back and polishing some of my old stories, and WTUY is definitely one of them. In particular, the stuff about Fluttershy's background, which I think is the most glaring single plot problem. The extra detail should probably go at the end of Chapter 5 (which you'll notice is the shortest chapter in the fic) so a library scene or something might be the way to go there. Although it was never going to be one of the truly great fics, I don't think it would be that hard to give this story enough extra polish to get it to "Pretty Good" on your rating scale. Maybe one day I'll actually do that!
In the end, I think one problem was that what really interested me was the friendshipping between Rainbow and Fluttershy. As such, I spent most of my efforts on that, and I think it shows in that some of the side details aren't developed sharply enough. In spite of its hopping into Fluttershy's head, I still like the final chapter a lot, and the very last line is one of my favourites in anything I've written. That, at least, will never be altered! Thank you again for taking the trouble to give me such interesting thoughts.
Well, yeah, but my time travel abilities weren't great back in 2014-15.
That was a good story.
11253654
Thanks. I notice you comment exactly the same thing every time, though. Could you say *why* you liked this one?
11253744
I liked the way it depicted Fluttershy and Rainbowdash's life in Cloudsdale and its depiction of why they moved to Ponyville . it was a rare and entertaining look at that part of their lives.
11254057
Thank you very much!