Chapter 9: Finale
“Rainbow Dash?” He asked, amazed. “Why are you here? How did you even get here, for that matter? And can't you see I'm trying to become the supreme overlord of Equestria right now?” He seemed very annoyed by this interruption of his big moment. Then he realized the rest of the gang was there as well. Even the annoying party pony. Twilight desperately shouted. “You can’t kill him!” He laughed. “Why not? It’s not like he’s immortal.”
Twilight let out an exasperated breath. “You’re even thicker than Rainbow Dash! Can’t you see? If you kill him, the power of the Elements of Disharmony will destroy you!” He stopped. Twilight continued. “There’s a reason that the Princess didn't tell us about these Elements! They can only be created by corrupting the Elements of Harmony, which is what happened when you were teleported to the cursed castle. Whoever uses them will be affected by their aura, just like the Elements of Harmony. The elements feed on whatever their attribute is, and grow stronger the more they consume. The Elements of Disharmony feed on your negative emotions. When you kill someone in cold blood, it kills something inside of you too! If you let your hatred overcome you, you won't be able to control your own power anymore!”
He growled. “Don't lie to me! Why are you trying to stop me? Discord is evil! I'm trying to save you guys!" He turned his back on them. "Tch. I was a fool to think you guys were my friends.” This last statement seemed to sting Twilight. She backed off with averted eyes, and they sadly filed out of the throne room. He realized that he didn't even feel the slightest guilt. He laughed. Finally, at long last, he had defeated those weak emotions within him. Now, he could concentrate only on the task at hand.
Then he realized that Twilight was right. He was changing. What had happened to the quiet, timid him that everyone had known? No! He felt new waves of anger wash over him. Who cared what everyone else thought? None of them had ever given a second thought about him. Why should he care about them? But Twilight’s words kept coming back to haunt him.
Discord still lay there, groaning. It seemed he had two choices. He could finish of Discord and claim the throne, ruling over this land for eternity. Or, he could spare Discord. He thought about what would happen if he spared Discord.
"I told you so..."
"I still don't trust him."
"What if he's still being influenced by the Elements of Disharmony?"
"He's too dangerous."
"Lock him up."
"Yes. Lock him up."
He smashed a fist into the ground, leaving a veiny spiderweb of cracks. The influence from the Elements of Disharmony was clouding his mind. He shook his head, shaking the angry thoughts from his mind. He thouth about all the acquaintances he had made while in this land, and then he looked back at himself.
Why me? His teeth ground together in frustration. Why must he perpetually live in a world of chaos and sadness? Why does it always have to be me? Luck has never once shone upon me. Whenever a beam of light seemed to shine down into the darkness, it just turned out to be trick of the mind. Why? WHY? His vision turned red. Why I can't be happy for once?
The black lightning of his Disharmony crackled around his fist. He raised it, breathing heavily. Discord squeezed his eyes shut, turning his face away, whimpering. But he couldn't do it. Why can't I be happy? He felt the answer come to him. Because he didn't deserve happiness. All his life, he had been a miser, an embodiment of disharmony. It was just like Discord had said. He was the personification of all the Elements of Disharmony. There was no reason for him to receive any happiness. Why should he? What had he ever done for anyone else?
His whole life had been built off of perfectionism and harboring hate. Never once had he ever tried to be friendly. Never once had he gone out of his way to help another. Wrapped in his own world of suffering and pain, he had never looked up to see how others felt. Never once had he tried to console another, to give another the happiness that he himself lusted for. That was why. Everything suddenly seemed so clear to him, and all his anger at the world faded away. He felt a melancholy calm replace the savage anger that had once clouded his mind. His life had been horrible because he had made it horrible. And now, the answer to his dilemma was right in front of him.
He felt the Elements of Disharmony crackle in dissent, this time sending pain through his body. He ignored it. There was only one thing that he had to do.
“Need some help?” He extended his hoof towards the fallen draconoquus.
Discord groaned and looked up at him, disbelief in his eyes. “Y-you would help me?”
He smiled. This time, it was full of warmth. “Because everyone deserves a chance at a better life. Even you.”
Discord looked at him. It seemed he had touched the darkest recesses of Discord’s heart and shone a beam of light down that dark cave.
“I won’t disappoint you.” Discord eventually said with a determination in his eyes that he had never seen before.
He smiled again. “Let's make the world a better place.”
As he spoke those words, the chaotic, twisted artifacts he had been holding on to fell off of him, and as they fell toward the ground, regained their original luster. Black turned to gold, Disharmony to Harmony. Bathed in Harmony's golden glow, the unbreakable bonds of friendship were formed.
“Well done. Your Princess is very proud of you.” He suddenly sensed a warm presence standing behind him. He turned around, and greeted his new friends, beaming at him and offering words of congratulations. Behind him, Discord was busy cleaning up the mess he had made. The fallen Elements of Harmony suddenly lit up, bathing him in a golden light. Suddenly, a splitting headache caused him to keel over and collapse on the marble floor. “Not again!” He managed to squeeze out two more words before his vision blurred and everything faded into nothingness.
He remembered. He remembered everything. From the day he was born, his memories came rushing back to him. He remembered how horrible he had believed his life to be, and how he had ended his life. He saw. He remembered. Princess Celestia was right. He had finally discovered his true self. The heroic, kind side of himself. With the help of the Elements of Harmony, and his own determination, he had finally broken the chains that held his memories in place.
A few days later...
He was seated in front of Princess Celestia, awaiting further orders. After he had regained consciousness, he had once again found himself in the Ponyville Hospital. Unlike last time however, he did not break the window and run away like a madman. He had found himself in the presence of friends. Friends that cared. While he recuperated, they played games with him, told him stories, and taught him about the land he now lived in. Now, once again sitting in front of Celestia on a familiar bed, he was ready for the Princess, and his friends, to know how he came to be in this world. The Princess closed her eyes, touching her horn to his forehead, and after a short while, a low humming sound filled the air. He closed his eyes as he sensed the familiar presence of the Princess’s mind close around him.
When the presence faded, he opened his eyes once again. The Princess looked shaken.
“What is the matter, your majesty?” He inquired, concerned.
She shook her head. “No, the spell was executed perfectly. However...your memories were slightly frightening.”
He smiled sadly. “Sorry you had to see that. I just thought it would be best for everyone to know how exactly it was that I came to be in this world.”
She thought for a few moments, then answered. “I do not know what the culture of your past world was like, but I am sure that such an act is still frowned upon.”
He sighed. “That, it is.”
The Princess continued. “I can now understand your actions when you first awoke in this land. I am sure your friends will understand as well. In the meantime, you will continue your lessons about our world, so you do not seem so ignorant to the common populace.”
He chuckled. Then he remembered something. “Princess, when I just arrived in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash said something about a “cutie mark”. Will I ever get one?”
The Princess smiled sadly. “I’m afraid not. Your body is not Equestrian, despite its appearance, and therefore does not have the ability to generate a "cutie mark". For this, I am sorry.” This was the answer he had been dreading. Still, he tried to smile and said: “Perfectly alright, my Princess. I was simply curious.” His eyes betrayed the truth, however. The Princess sighed.
“Yay!” A timid squeak of a shout came from the shy pegasus named Fluttershy. Ever since he had started flight training with Rainbow Dash, she had sat on the sidelines, trying to cheer him on. The sound of her cheering was usually drowned out by the wind though. Today’s lesson was coming to a conclusion, and they decided to have a race. They would start from Rainbow Dash’s home and fly to the library. The first one to get inside won.
“Ready, set, GO!” Rainbow Dash shouted. They both zoomed off. He looked back. Rainbow Dash was nowhere in sight. Was he really winning? The thought gave him confidence. He sped forward ever faster, and crashed through the library door, triumphantly shouting “I win!” Much to his dismay however, he was greeted by an amused chuckle.
“Not so fast, hotshot.” Rainbow Dash was relaxing on the couch, looking smugly at him.
“W-what? How did you-?”
Rainbow Dash grin only grew wider. "You’re such a slowpoke! I was already halfway here before you even flapped your wings once! I bet even Tank could beat you in a race!”
He tried to think of a comeback for this jibe, but found none. Defeated, he slumped onto the floor with a defiant hmph. Then Rainbow Dash started laughing. It started as a chuckle, but gradually developed into a full blown laugh. It was contagious too. Pretty soon, he was laughing too. Then even Twilight, Spike, and the rest of the gang joined in. The sound of their laughter marked the beginning of a new era, one of peace, tranquility, and a stronger friendship than ever before.
“This calls for a Friendship letter!” Declared Twilight Sparkle.
“A friendship letter?” he asked.
“Everytime we learn something about friendship, we write a letter to the Princess detailing what we learned!"
Despite the fact that that sounds extremely unnecessary and excessively tediouis, I am going to pretend to think it is productive and helpful for our learning. "Wow, that sounds really cool! Where do we start?"
Twilight turned to Spike. Without a word, he dashed off in search of a quill. Twilight nodded at him. “Alright, I’ll start it, then you can talk about everything that we've learned.”
Twilight sparkle cleared her throat and continued. “Dear Princess Celestia, today we learned...”
He thought for a moment.
“Today we learned that friendship is a powerful thing. It can bond ponies together for a lifetime. We also learned that friends aren’t disposable. If a friend is not behaving the way they should, don’t abandon them. You should try as hard as you can to bring them back. Even the most far-gone friends still have a soft spot in their hearts. You just need to show them the path to the light again, just set them on the right path. Also, although sometimes it's sometimes seems necessary to use methods that aren't exactly heroic, these methods are often simply shortcuts that will eventually lead to your downfall. Your New Acquaintance...” He trailed off. He still didn’t have a name. Rainbow Dash cut in. “Alright, alright, done this, did that, give me the t-shirt.” That was it then. Spike then rolled up the letter and sent it away to the Princess.
“So...” continued Rainbow Dash, a bit awkwardly. “Now that we have that out of the way, you guys wanna go get some cider from Applejack’s place?”
He smiled. It was a new day, and the sun was streaming in from the windows of the library.
"Why not?"
545546 Oh I actually spend a bunch time on FiMfiction lately i found this story because the Human category is my favorite because there usually complete packages and I love seeing them react in complete shock about finding a new race that's completely different and no your not a stalker your just curious
:D Nice happy ending.
And even Discord lived happily!
Awwww...Rainbow Dash likes him!
545812I still got enough rhyme points for one more poem, eh?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hi everypony! Stalin and the crew are back!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Man that week was awful
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Indeed. We havent been able to do a single stalinview and did only few arts!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Yep. But now everything is better!
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png By the way, boss. Heard the new rule?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Oh, that funky "Roleplay" rule? Ph. Big deal.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Ooh? You behaved quite differently when you heard it
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, o-of course! It was a very bad new for us.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Fortunately our friends has protected us.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Yes. Thanks, guys! Thanks to you, we can still keep doing our Stalinviews!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Yah. But only when ppl ask to, so no random free stalinviews.
Ayep.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png All right, we have taken too much time with our pointlss problems, let's read our story!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Today we have an interesting story. Interesting because we di cover art for it! Anyway, let's dig into "Anomalous"!
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"The ring of the solid gold alarm clock"
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png "Solid goldEN alarm clock"
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Hmmm. Seems like our protagonist is a woobie...
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, i understood it when i was making art.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Okay. Let's see if autor suceeded of making him a good woobie
"Go to bed crying"
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Being woobie is a good thing, but being pussy is other. Have some spine, kid!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Oh, by the way
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png What is it, boss?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Time for a Special Pritch of Human-Pony Overuseness!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png ....Wat?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Just shut up and listen.
Ahhhh, ponyfication. What a sweet, torturing word. How many bronies out there want to turn into ponies and live in their utopia, in their perfect society.
But they can't. Only thing they can do about it is to imagine. To dream about escaping from cruelty of reality and blending into pony society.
Dreams are dreams. And everypony have right to dream.
But there is a little bit of a problem.
THERE ARE TOO MANY DREAMERS! Ocean of bronies, who are writing about them turning into ponies somehow and transporting to the Equestria.
This is really getting old. By statistics, every fourth story on FimFiction is a story about human (autor's alter-ego) turning into pony. This sub-genre
is very overuse.
The best compare shall be filler power rangers episode. Each time it goes under one scenario. Villian makes monster. Monster making cityfolk's life miserable. Big robot battle. Monster defeated.
This getting old after third or fourth filler already. And these stories are similliar case.
Hundreds and hundreds of stories, about 40% of which has woobie protagonists, constantly flooding reader brony society.
I completely understand Equestria Daily for not taking these kinds of stories.
Human genre is overused, but STILL there are ways to make story unique and interesting. Why transporting ur alter ego to Equestria? Why not to take a different approach?
For example, why wont to make a story, where human serial killer is transported to Equestria, pursued by protagonist - mature, strong and angry military man and his team of black ops? Or how about a story where pony meeting human CIVILISATION awhole? And why wont reverse accursed Human-pony limbo with making PONIES to get to real world? Now THAT stories i would read and love!
Wow. So much text, aiming to no one. I hope you not thinking bad about this story only because it is in overused genre?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Of course not! It was just a pritch. Anyway, let's continue our review!
"He saw the package. He brought it inside, and savagely tore it open, maliciously destroying the cardboard and packing peanuts inside. He finally found it."
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Seems a little... crumped. Everything seems crumped
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Of course it will be. Didnt you got it? It is basically a speedy recap. Autor dont awant to keep reader bored too much and want to quickly throw us to pony action.
"He thought for days and days, and came to this conclusion: Death was the only way out of his misery"
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Nah. He is not a woobie. He is just a sick kid with bad parents. And no spine at all. Not very appealing protagonist...
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Yep. Sorry autor, but suicidal teenager with slightly bad life is not kind of protagonist i will sympathize.
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I have thought and thought about this. It is the best place.”
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Missing " here
“What in tarnation was that about?”
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png "What in tarnation" is used by rednecks and village people. I HIGHLY doubt that boy from high society shall talk like that.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Blocks of text following are getting bigger and bigger every minute
[Ii43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png I won't even start on how overused the "caretaker" scenario
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Ya boss, dont. We dont want to offend the autor
“Number one, I am Twilight Sparkle"
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Wild Autor's Favorite Pony Appeared!
“I am not a pony!” You yell. “I am a human! A normal person!” “Twilight Sparkle” looks at you with some concern.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png .....me?
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png me?
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Chapaev?
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Is autor changed view from third person perspective to second-person?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Nope. Guess just a typo.
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i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Nothing much to say on this chapter.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Okay, flash-forward to Stalinview!
*woooooooosh*
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png Oh, and last few chapters are GIGANTIC BLOCK OF TEXT
OVERVIEW:
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Ok, i beginning.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png First to mention is overuseness of genre. But you're quite understandable there, because seems like it is your first story, autor.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Story itself isnt bad...
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png It's good!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Well, yeah, it have some memorable moments. But main problem in it (beside overuseness of genre) is pacing.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Sometimes dents are off. Sometimes there are double of their sizes or different from each other. Sometimes they are too small.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png And text is getting very blocky over time. Good paragraphing wouldn't hurt.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png On a brighter side, story is easy to read! That is defenetely a plus!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Indeed. Anyway, something i need to mention about protagonist:
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Well, no offence, but he isnt very sympathetic, even when you trying hard to him to be that. I just cant sympathize with hormonal suicidal teenager. i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Suicide is NEVER an answer!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Overall, for the first story, this one is pretty neat. But you must say "no" to this genre.
....That was pathetic. It was too fast, though succinct, and was regrettably on theme with the main template of MLP:FIM. So much more could have been done. It felt as if I wasn't reading an actual event, but the mere summary of it. And that bit with 7 deadly sins....no one believes that the sins are completely evil and corrupting, that would be fucking ridiculous. Overall this was a good story...but it needs to be redone into a more developed idea. As it is, it doesn't even feel complete.
I may have enjoyed this story, but you need to work on it. Maybe take it to a new level as another story.
Cheers,
ISA