(???, 4:08 AM)
"I SAID DON'T MOVE!" Shining Armor shouted again, as Isaac started to squirm from underneath the pile he had been stuck at the bottom of.
"Don't get your armor in a twist, Shiny." the angel replied, not obeying as he still tried to get his arms free.
The white alicorn grit his teeth in rage, "You are not allowed to call me that!"
"Oh?" he began, finally getting his arms free, "Why not?" he asked, with an infuriating smile on his face.
"You kidnapped my fiance and turned her into a miniature earth pony!"
Isaac shook his head, "For shame, Captain. I never took you for a racist."
"That is not what I meant!" Shining barked.
"True, but I just like to mess with you ponies." the ancient evil replied, pulling a leg free.
"STOP MOVING!"
"Make me."
"RRAAAAAGH!" the Captain of the Royal Guard roared in outrage, shooting a beam of magic at the pile of criminals.
Adagio's eyes widened, "MOVE YOU IDIO-"
*FWOOM!*
In a flash of golden flames, they disappeared. Well, most of them did. A wide-eye Sunset Shimmer was left behind to fall on the ground, but thankfully the attack passed over her head.
Shining smirked, "Princess Celestia was right. He fell for it."
(Canterlot Caves, 4:09 AM)
Isaac, Adagio, Sonata, Aria, and Sonata's suitcase reappeared in the chamber where one of Isaac's other bodies, posing as Princess Cadence still under capture by the changelings.
"What was that?! I thought you said the mirror was in a basement!" Adagio demanded.
"I don't know. Either Trixie got caught with Cadence or..." he was silent for a moment, "She betrayed me."
The lead siren sneered at him, "This is why I told you trusting a mortal was a stupid idea. Now turn us into something that can run!"
"Shut up. I was trying to expand my circle of friends." he replied. The angel squirmed out from under the pile of sirens, fused with his other body, and re-assumed his true form. He took a deep breath, and exhaled golden flames on the three sisters.
*FWOOM*
When the flames died down, they were human again. They quickly unscrambled themselves.
"Why did you turn us back into humans?" Aria growled, looking down at herself in distaste.
"If I turned you into ponies you'd need time to adjust to walking on four legs. We don't have time for that. Sonata, ditch the suitcase!" he ordered.
"WHAT?!" the blue-haired siren shouted, holding the suitcase close to her.
"It'll only slow us down. It's either tacos or they catch us, and you can't eat tacos if you're PETRIFIED."
She sighed, and dropped the suitcase.
Isaac nodded, "Now get ready to run as fast as you can!"
He raised a hand, and blasted one of the walls down with magic.
*CRASH*
The four of them jumped through the newly created hole, and started sprinting through the caves at top speed. Isaac ignited his hand with fire magic, using it as a torch to light their way.
"What's the rush anyway?" Aria asked.
"Don't you get it? Regardless of whether or not Trixie betrayed me they know about the invasion. They've probably dealt with the changelings already and are looking down here for stragglers!"
"THERE THEY ARE!" a voice called out.
They turned back to see a Royal Guard pointing at them with his spear. He started chasing after them.
Adagio snarled, "Damn it all! We've been spotted!"
"HALT!"
"This way!" Isaac called out before turning left, the sirens following suit.
"This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't picked up that pony in the first place!" the lead siren complained.
"Not the time, Adagio!" he barked back.
"Oh I think it is the time! What was the point of recruiting her anyway? From what you told me, it's not like she was actually USEFUL or anythning!"
"I don't have to tell you shit!"
"Oh yes you do! I am not someone you can get away with telling only half-truths to!"
"I will ditch you right now!"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"CAN WE FOCUS ON ESCAPING PLEASE?!" Sonata screamed.
They both went silent as they ran. Isaac nodded, "Right, sorry."
"Why are we running? Can't you just teleport us somewhere they won't look for us?" Aria asked.
"I can't. The South Pole is too far away. Ponyville is a no-go if Trixie ratted me out. We can't go topside either now that the guards have seen us. Celestia and the Element Bearers are probably up there too. They'll be expecting me to teleport into the city."
"So we're sitting ducks down here?!" Adagio demanded, glaring at him.
"Not exactly. I have a plan!"
"What is it?"
"You'll have to trust me!"
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!"
"IT WON'T WORK IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!"
"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!" Aria and Sonata shouted, silencing their 'leaders'.
Isaac and Adagio grumbled, trying not to look at each other as they ran side by side. It was like that for the next few minutes, with only the occasional encounter with a guard, whom they quickly dispatched. Non-lethally of course. There was no reason. Eventually, they turned into a large dark chamber.
"If I remember correctly, there should be an exit to the surface coming up soon. We'll come out into a park where children play. It's still dark out so we'll be able to blend in with the shadows."
"That won't be necessary." a familiar voice called out.
The chamber lit up, revealing that it was filled with Royal Guards who proceeded to enclose upon them.
Leading them was none other than Princess Celestia, and she did not look happy. Her horn was glowing, a spell at the ready.
The quartet's eyes widened.
"That was unexpected." Isaac commented.
Adagio turned to glare at him, "You lead us into a trap. Perfect."
"End of the road, Isaac. You will not trouble my subjects any longer." the Solar Diarch said, glaring at them as she stalked forward.
The angel sighed, "Well played, Celestia. I have to ask though, did Trixie rat me out?"
"Cadence helped her realize that you make empty promises and came forward."
"Darn. I had such high hopes for her too. The Element Bearers?"
"That's none of your business."
"Fair enough. What happens now?"
"This."
*BLAST!*
She fired her spell at them. Isaac didn't even bother to dodge. The sirens weren't fast enough to avoid it.
That's when everything went dark again.
(Canterlot Castle, The Dungeons, 11:43 AM)
*SPLASH!*
Isaac was awakened by water to the face, sputtering and coughing as it dripped down his body. He was kneeling. He noticed that his hands and feet were chained behind him, as were his wings. The floor was a dull grey, as were the walls and bars. He was in a cell. There was also the matter of the magic-suppressing collar around his neck.
He looked up to see Celestia looking down on him with a grave expression, a bucket of water in her telekinetic grasp.
The angel smiled, "Interrogating me yourself. Smart choice."
"You'd just infuriate anypony else who tried." she scoffed. Shining Armor had offered of course, but she had refused him instantly. He was too angry at Isaac for what he'd done to Cadence. The angel would capitalize on that and enrage him further.
"True."
They just stared at each other for a moment, the silence telling of their relationship.
Celestia's eyes narrowed as she broke the pause,"Why did you let me catch you?" He could have dodged her paralysis spell, and she was prepared to fight him.
He perked up, "Ah, you noticed that? Well, I must admit I didn't realize what you were trying to do until I felt your magic in the caves."
"Informative, but that doesn't answer my question."
"Sorry. Once I realized that you've dealt with the changelings already, there was no reason to run from you anymore. Speaking of which, did you capture Chrysalis?"
She nodded, "Of course. Why did you leave Sunset Shimmer behind when you teleported away from the guards after you came out of the mirror?" It didn't make sense. If her old enemy had indeed recruited her old student, then surely he wouldn't leave her behind? Sunset was a great asset to have, due to her magical skill and potential. But if he didn't recruit her, then why take her with him through the portal?
Isaac shrugged as well as he could through the chains, "She doesn't want to work for me if that's what you want to know. I didn't even offer. She actually wanted me to drop her off in Zebrica so she could live the rest of her life as a hermit. How is she anyway?"
"Isaac hasn't corrupted her to his side. That's good news. Why does she want to be a hermit though?" Celestia wondered. Then she scowled, "She won't talk to me."
"That's not surprising. She's such a hard-headed mare isn't she?"
"What did you do to her?" she demanded. She was happy to have her former student back in her home dimension, and she knew that Sunset's parent's would be as well. However, Sunset hadn't said a word to either of them. Some ponies wouldn't find that really surprising considering how they parted ways, but Celestia knew her old student better than that. She expected Sunset to start accusing her of things or insulting her. Nothing of the sort happened. The unicorn just glared at her silently.
The angel grinned, "Why, I only shattered her self-confidence!"
"Damn him!" she thought. That would explain the hermit thing. The white alicorn growled, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't petrify you again."
His grin widened, "Celestia, we both know that if you really wanted to turn me back into stone you would have had the Element Bearers standing at ready in front of mirror instead of that Goon Squad you call the Royal Guards. That way they could have blasted me the moment I came out of the mirror while I was still disoriented." It was quite obvious when you think about it carefully.
Her glare grew more intense, "Cute. The Sirens? Why did you bring them back to this world?"
"They're friends of mine. I read in Starswirl's biography that he banished three sirens to the dimension on the other side of the Crystal Mirror. Just after you and Luna turned me to stone. I didn't expect them to be the sirens that I knew, but I was pleasantly surprised when they were."
"You're being unusually forthcoming with information." she noted. It was... strange. Isaac only usually let others know what he wanted them to know, whether it was true or not.
"What is he planning?" she thought. He could be lying, but then why lie if he wanted to get caught?
"Of course. The more I tell you, the better off I'll be when you release me."
Her eyes narrowed, "What makes you think I'm going to do that?"
"You need me to change the Element Bearers, Shining Armor, and your niece back to normal. I can't do that if I'm cooped up in here."
"What makes you think I want you to change them back?" Of course she did, but she couldn't let him know that.
"Celestia, you're very paranoid as to who you trust with power. Rightfully so. Some peo-er... ponies, just can't be trusted with it." He thought of Discord, Sombra, Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, Chrysalis, and even himself!
The Sun Princess swore mentally, "He saw right through me!"
"I could have Twilight and her friends petrify you the moment after you change them back." she countered. It was a futile effort to scare him, and they both knew that.
"You could, but then the Polar Griffons would start rioting pretty hard when they learned that the guy who saved them from Nightmare Moon was in stone."
"I doubt they'll mind once I tell them your history."
That would change their tune pretty quickly. Add on the fact that he fused Nightmare Moon and Luna back together instead of killing or re-imprisoning the literal ball of hatred... He winced at the thought of their outrage, "True. My friends? What have you done with them?"
"They've been put in their own cells, awaiting trial."
Isaac frowned, "Why? They actually haven't done anything bad since they've returned. They're not even Equestrian citizens! They've done their time."
The white alicorn smiled, "Being accomplices to a wanted criminal counts." It was cruel of her to say that, and she knew it. But this was an interrogation after all. Besides, it was no less than he deserved.
He sighed, "Touche. What else do you want to know?"
"How much do you know about our future, and why do you know this? The unicorn formerly under your employ said that you told her that you know the future of this world as it would have been had you never come to it."
The angel scowled, "I was hoping she wouldn't do that. Why did she betray me anyway? I actually was planning on fulfilling my side of our agreement."
She shook her head, "Answer my question first."
"I only know events as they relate to your student since her arrival in Ponyville, and that knowledge is limited. Mostly worthless now considering the changes I've made. As to why.... Do you really want to know?"
Celestia frowned, "Miss Lulamoon also said that you gave her a hint as to how you have this knowledge. 'Daring Do is both real and fiction'. What does that mean?"
"What does a popular book series have to do with this?" she pondered inside her own mind.
"It means exactly what it says. From a certain perspective Daring Do is real and fictional at the same time."
The Sun Princess shook her head, "That doesn't answer my question."
Isaac cringed, "I really shouldn't tell you. I will tell you this though. I'm not in this world of my own free will. If I could leave, I would have left a long time ago. I don't even know for sure what type of force is keeping me here."
Her glare intensified, "That's not good enough."
He shook his head, "It's a bad idea." he refused to say anymore on the subject. It's not that he believed that she would react badly to the information, moreso what this information would do to him. It would color his past actions in an incredibly unfavorable light if she jumped to the worst conclusion. While it was true that in the past he had treated her and her subjects like playthings, but he hadn't always thought like that.
Celestia sighed, "I see...."
She turned around and left the cell.
*CLANK!*
The doors locked, leaving Isaac alone.
Yes. Another chapter!
Love this chapter. Hope to see more soon.
I wonder how Celestia would react if he spoke the name "Faust".
I mean, does she know anything of her creator? And if yes, how would she react if she knew he was of her race?
Good chapter.
What will Isaac's next move be.
I'm still very disappointed in Trixie. Any chance of her making things right with Isaac and rejoining him?
Will Sunset join Isaac?
Man, this Celestia is kind of a bitch.
Dang man, you've been on a roll. I'm almost scared of when you're either going to:
A: run out of prewritten chapters which is what I'm assuming has been going on with all of the updates recently or
B: run out of the juice that's been powering all the updates.
5406388 In my opinion, most versions (canon included) are.
can you kill Celestia
Eh. I liked it better when he was avoiding them. He may not have been evil, completely at least, but it made it a lot better story when he was doing things that followed his plan and messed with everybody. I hope he escapes instead of just becoming buddy-buddy with everyone. Still like the story, just not a huge fan of this chapter specifically. Also, what is she using to trap him there? I know he has a colloar on but Celestia didn't have the spell she used on the EoH during Discords reformation, otherwise she would have used it on the EoH before Discords escape, so, as far as I can tell, she doesn't have anything to block his Chaos Magic.
Wonder how Isaac will react to seeing Trixie (Disappointment I guess), I doubt Trixie will care, one way or the other seeing as she betrayed him of her own free will (Granted Cadance manipulated her) at most she'll probably be scared of his reaction.
Also, this is far into the future if the story even continues to that point before becoming completed, but I wonder how Twilight will react: she get's turned into an Alicorn by Isaac who promptly takes away her wings only for Celestia (Or something) to give them back. That of course being if he even takes the wings away from them instead of just escaping with the Sirens like I hope he plans on doing.
5406471 I slightly like her in Canon, though I think she's manipulative and hides it behind a facade.
5406388
To be fair to Celestia, Isaac is a cheeky dickwaffle who used to delight in the suffering of others, most prominently her and her subjects.
5406667
That's a good point, but I felt that Isaac needed to lose at least once in order for him not to seem invincible. Besides, plans can be altered.
Dang it trixie.
Huh, some shit went down...
5406749 Saw what you did there
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69BMS6LIw8Q
I am kinda waiting for Issac to just at some point go oh btw Celestia i killed Tirek your welcome.
Something I just remembered, they wouldn't even be able to use the EoH on him anyways due to one of them being a Changeling, would they? Won't he be able to tell with his Emotion sensing ability and his Magic sensing ability [I don't think Tirek had that in canon since he had no idea that the Alicorns had given their magic to Twilight or that Twilight was an Alicorn (I'm wondering if Discord told him about Cadance or if Cadance is older than we thought she was)] Changelings may be able to fake emotions but he'd be able to tell what their real emotions were (Especially if it's Fluttershy). I woner if he's ever going to use Tirek's ability to steal magic?
You know I'm really wondering what Isaac is going to do to Trixie for her betrayal. Even if he turned pseudo good betrayal is a big no no for the good side. If I were him I would punish her by turning her into an earth pony.
There is no way Isaac won't take any kind of revenge on her.
5408250
I actually had an idea about that. He stole a second mirror that was a parallel world where everyone who's evil/good is opposite, right? I figured he'd go to that world and steal evil Celestia/Luna/Cadence/Twilight/Maybe the entirety of evil Equestria's magic. I mean he'd be doing a good deed for 'good' while at the same time becoming as powerful as Tirek did, it'd be stupid not to do.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
5406278 Excellent choice of music there! Two Steps From Hell Does great dramatic music!
This guy is a baller. Nuff said. Hope he gets out of this bind, though.
Oh man, I must hate Celestia now.
NOOO Dammit. I'm finally caught up, now I have to wait for chapters like everyone else :(
Anyways great story, can't wait to see more! :D
5439187 i did
Skipper
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100216021515/penguinsofmadagascar/images/f/f4/Skipper_1.JPG
Rico
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121118175841/penguinsofmadagascar/images/3/32/Rico_2.jpg
Kowalski
img.poptower.com/pic-14589/kowalski-madagascar-penguin.jpg?d=1024
And Private
images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/34300000/Private-private-the-penguin-34304301-397-516.jpg
Hope to see some Commando Penguin Griffin Jailbreak Operation Action
Skipper ''Kowalski! Options!''
Kowalski ''We dig our way to below Issac's cell and extract him by using my latest invention! The Ground Breaker 8000!!!!''
Slipper ''Negative Kowalski! We dont have any time for your gibber yabber. Let the professional handel this. Rico!
Rico ''HUUUUAAHHG'' throws up a rocketlauncher.
Skipper ''Excellent! Private you are on lookout duty''
Private ''Aye aye Skipper''
Skipper ''Alright team! Operation Feather Extraction is a go Go! Go! Go!''
....... meh need some work
If he doesn't change Cadence back, and the others, then may his suffering be legendary.
...May it be legendary even if he does cooperate.
5453730 useless comment... He has to preserve his advantage you know.
And Celestia is being an outright bitch right now.
5468388 Given what he did before his imprisonment, and what he has done after? She has no reasons to be kind, nor does he have any reason to expect mercy. If she did not need him to rescue Luna from almost certain imprisonment and deposition, a situation which he has brought about, and to fix what he has done to Cadence in the meanwhile, she would likely have "stoned" him again already.
He has done too much to deserve mercy, or kindness.
5468300 HOORAY! IRELAND!!!!
5482011 A FUCKING SQUAD OF MARINES WONT HELP!!! FIRE THE SQUEE CANNONS!!!
5424973 ditto.
this story is quite riveting, despite the typos and misplaced words. i marathoned the entire thing.
master manipulator sunbutt goes up against millennia old human = human's got this.
i was confused by this chapter, but maybe once i've had a chance to mull it over for a bit, some pieces might fall into place.
i enjoyed the way u switched between first and third person in the early chapters, and ur ability to write ur characters is very good.
i am a bit dissappointed in trixie, tho. she was pretty fickle, but then cadance did make a pretty good case.
u have my favorite, and i will be observing this.
impatiently waiting for the next chapter, until then.
The idea definitely has potential but you're sort of wasting it. Sure, the story is OK, but there are so many opportunities you missed or underexplore. (And chapter 6 and really cheapens things by breaking the fourth wall between him and the rest of the fandom, rather than just writing him as as being aware of the implications of winding up inside your favourite show.)
Your writing also feels unfocused. First, it often feels either too fast or too slow, depending on what I interpret the intended focus of the story to be. (Though that's more a problem in the earlier chapters than the later ones)
Second, if I had to characterize it, I'd have to say "your muse is talented but has A.D.H.D.". It feels like every few chapters, you lose interest in your current focus without properly exploring it and introduce some new element that could also be enough to drive an entire story.
(And only the "lose interest in your current focus" part is inherently a bad thing. Harry Potter's setting and Bleach's characters both exhibit that "too much interesting stuff for the story to have time to explore" feeling and that's what makes them great fodder for fanfics.)
Chapter 16 also brings back the problem chapter 6 started. To be honest, I've waffled back and forth over whether to give you a thumb down because of those.
In the end, I decided it was middling enough that I couldn't justify an upvote. It would be unfair to other authors to call this story good just because you smashed so many good ideas together that you couldn't do any of them well. (Especially when you couldn't even recognize how incompatible "potentially epic multiversal stuff" is with the aspects of the other stuff that do the best job of giving a working, coherent tone and theme to the story.)
5539147
That's fine, and thank you for the criticism. To be honest, I was waiting for a reply like this. Most people just comment on what goes on in the chapter and that's it. The thing is, I never expected this fic to get over 6,000 views. I wrote this fic as part of a spur-of-the-moment desire to be part of the LoHaV fad, and I was really surprised when it got featured last year. I didn't expect to spend this much time writing for this fic and coming up with ideas. Even then, I only really write when I have enough time and inspiration.
Although, what do you mean by too many ideas? I'm not quite sure.
5541139
The story is filled with ideas that, on their own, could be the focus of an entire story, story arc, or subplot but, instead, are left under-explored because there's only so much you can cover in a given amount of in-story time. (Things like Twilight's accidental estrangement from her family, this take on post-NMM Luna, exploring the behaviour and psychology of a Sunset Shimmer who's had EG nipped in the bud by a hard dose of reality, etc. ...just to name a few of the more recent character-oriented examples.)
5541557
Well those three you named I planned on exploring in future chapters.
5541974
The problem is that, whether or not you plan to come back to them, it doesn't feel like you will from reading what you've already written, so the reader assumes you're not coming back, discards the interest you were building, and is left feeling unsatisfied.
The fundamental issue is that, like bad authors who never intend to come back to points like that, it feels like, when you should be savouring and building plot elements like that, you're instead breezing over them to get to some ill-defined "good parts" we've yet to see and can only assume you have planned.
It's not as if you need to. You've got plenty of wiggle-room to let in-universe time pass more slowly and it would help the story to have a more regular approach to jumping back and forth between scenes (or even chapters) which focus, in depth, on one of the established elements in order to keep interest building.
The main concern there is that whole "these ideas could carry stories or arc or subplots on their own" part. Given the potential inherent in the ideas, it feels like, if you were to do everything properly without otherwise changing things, you'd wind up with a story like Diaries of a Madman, which is closing in on two million words and still doesn't feel like it's reached the half-way point in its primary story arc. (Don't get me wrong, It's great... it just should really be a series rather than a single story.)
in professional prose writing, you typically aim to break your stories into ~100,000 word books to give readers a chance to take a break and then be re-introduced to relevant details they may have forgotten. (That's one reason it's so hard to convince new fans to get into comic books but the movie adaptations have wide appeal.)
From a structural view, whatmustido made the mistake of treating a series-level conflict (something large in scale, with far-reaching consequences, that inherently can't be resolved in ~100,000 words) as a story-level one. (Imagine the entire Harry Potter series as one long story, because Rowling saw "Voldemort is still around" as the driving conflict.)
5542295
Ah, thanks for pointing that out. To be honest, I'm the type of person who likes to shove as many ideas into a story as possible, ignoring the fact that I might not be able to do all of those ideas justice. I've already planned out the ending to this story, and I find myself wondering if there is a unifying idea that ties all of this together. So far what I've been writing is my OC going around Equestria, doing things, and the consequences of those actions.
5542933
Yeah. Definitely should have been a series. "my OC going around Equestria, doing things, and the consequences of those actions." is a bit too diffuse a unifying idea to work properly for a story but works perfectly for a series. (Especially since, with a character who can and does split himself into multiple bodies, you could have a web of criss-crossing stories rather than a linear progression.)
What you really need is something sort of like Anne McCaffrey's Pern novels: Lots of independent stories which start and stop at different overlapping points along the timeline and look at different parts of the world but make enough references to each other's events to confirm that, yes, they are all just different views of the same time and place.
(Most of the Pern books follow different members of the same generation of people, leading up to and straddling the rediscovery of the fact that that their feudal-era society was once a space colony and the dragons they ride were genetically engineered from local "fire lizards".)
Damn. Isaac really can't keep a good hold of his friends. He's basically back to only himself again.
I hope he gets the sirens back again as the four of them were awesome. It's his own little trio of fantastic fishhorse monsters.
If things turn for worse why not have Isaac be under the same kind of contract alucard from hellsing is
5674686 *WOOOOOoOOOOooOOOOoooOOOOOoooOOO!*
NUCLEAR CUTE CANON DETECTED! Impact in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
5722628 *Slap* No.
Before canon my ass and not too mention it's more human loving Equestria bullshit.
I really like this story
I was just going to try the first chapter, but ended up read this entire thing in single sitting. I am already shipping Isaac and Adagio in my head. Nice job adding in the Luteces.
Damnit! Man... No more chapters!... Still... Those guards were pathetic... So was Celestia... She was smart but... Still failed in a sense... But anyways, great chapter! Keep on keeping on!
5675189 The Legion of Damned are ready for planetary bombardment, give us the radio call when ready to unleash the payload.
5773189 Sorry, We already sent in The Angry Marines. God help us all.
5774335 WHAT! You send them! But not the Space Marines who's bullets ignore cover and go straight through it!? I mean! We're technically dead! And covered with the flames of the warp! Why would you send angry marines, instead of us?!
5777746 .... I mayyyyy have given them....guns. and better blunt weapons....