Warning: has a pony go from regular sized to super fat. You have been warned.
Commission
Luna's school for Talented Unicorns has just opened, and the Princess in question is thrilled when her first student is ready and waiting to join. And to think, she only attended the opening ceremony less than twenty minutes ago. Kibitz won't mind setting up the paperwork, of course, as Luna preps the entrance test. He loves serving his princess, even if she is loud, obnoxious, eats too much, insults him, makes fun of his job...
Then again, Kibitz might be a little frustrated with his Princess of the Night. Maybe if she'd respected him, he wouldn't have prepared a prank to show what a little too much indulging can do. And maybe if Trixie hadn't been so excited, she wouldn't have triggered the trap first.
Seval mistakes involving wrong wording and uneccessary words but overall very enjoyable and quite humourous. Good work.
4370978 I'm glad you enjoyed. If you wish to point out these errors, I promise to fix them.
Very well-written, with believable and well-motivated characters and a feel-good ending. Miles above and beyond a good portion of weight-gain fics that I've read, with the exception of a number of typos and grammatical errors (If you'd like, I can send you a PM with the ones I've found so you can fix them).
I do hope that this story gets a sequel or another chapter, it's that good.
4371436 Ugh, poop. I can never find those. Dx
Please, feel free to comment on them in the gdocument
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15uo3VCkaRdjDSQLc6bLmPvtTW2wPDgeogKJG-ArMqV8/edit
I love it is the there a continuation on the way?
continent sized trixi now I want to see that
4372601
You got it man. I tend to nitpick about really little menial things, so please don't be offended if I end up leaving a lot of comments or suggestions for revisions. I've been told I'm a chronic perfectionist.
Hey, the cover art you're using was a commission for my friend Slrvertigo for his story here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/125797/lunas-apprentice.
Also, here's the real source from DA: http://graphic-lee.deviantart.com/art/Commission-Slvertigo-LunaTrix-Mentorship-397836860
I'd love to see this story continue, and not just for the weight gain.
In case you aren't aware, someone made fanart of this story:
deviantART link
full Tumblr sequence
Kay, I frigging love this fanfic :D
OMG
A WEIGHT GAIN FIC I BUCKING LOVE YOU
This is amazing you HAVE to do a sequal.
Plus it has luna in it.
noice
I loved this story!
Long