Nick can come across as your normal, everyday teenager. But when he gets teleported to a world filled with talking, miniature horse-things, his life turns into something that's everything BUT normal. And lets not forget the new curse he has...
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Oh my... how bold of you..
You forgot the ending brackets for the 'bold' function, causing it to bold the rest of the chapter as well.
Also,
7676863 That pun physically hurt.
7677056 I do like to deal out Pun-ishment
7677151
Well, shoot. Something must have happened while transferring it over from Docs. I'll try and have it fixed when I can.
Whats with all the random "I'd" things appearing everywhere? Really messes up the flow because it sounds like he's recalling a scene from his life rather than living in present tense (as the rest of the story has been in).
Examples:
THERE! Fixed the bold problem. For some reason, all the (b)s and (/b)s had been switched around.
7678493
Thank you! It must have been so long, I'd forgotten what tense this was in...
I think you'll find it more suitable now.
This chapter is solid, but I'm confused on what tense it's supposed to be in. I'm seeing a lot of "I'd" and "She'd" along with "I would" and "she would." If this story is supposed to be in the present tense, I suggest either going through this yourself or having someone go through it for you and fixing the issues with the past/present tense.
7784443
I must have missed those on my first run through...
They should all be taken care of now. Thank you for the heads up.
this is awesome!!
so is this dead or what? i was really enjoying it so far.
The first word of this chapter is a grammar mistake <3 I will never understand how people tense swap to future, since pretty much nothing is ever in future tense.
I hope you pick this back up
*sigh* add to the pile of dead stories I have read...
This is starting to feel like a PG rated harem anime.
Where the main character developes sexually charged and frustrating relationships with all the female archetypes, but never has the stones to consummate any of them.
Seriously guy, this story is well written and the characters are likable enough.
But there has NO justification for mature tag, let alone a gore tab.
Was the sex tab just for extra views?
Because it’s starting to seem that way.
Will you ever continue this story?
9267933
I think he’s planning to introduce that wonderful M rated material later on. Ya know, when the Calamity shit starts taking place.
10004797
Time will tell I suppose.
I want to see in the next chapter Celestia finding out about Luna's antics with the Ursa Major and calls them both in and proceeds to ask why Luna didn't ask for her help. Then have Luna try to studder out a response while he says " I told you so, Luna" then storms away muttering to himself "dammit i really am the only one with common sense here" as he leaves the castle and returns to Ponyville.
Also i read the word you hid in the static and it was "Lycaon" i hope you end up explaining this in a future chapter because you got me curious.
Sorry for the spoiler as i don't know how to use the redacted bar on the comments or site in general