A Feeling of Sadness - 1
It's been a week since she met her new friend. She had been living with him, in his house, at his request. He insisted that she stop living in the woods. He was scared for her, and she knew it, though she did not mind. She had someone to call her friend, and a warm place to sleep. He expected little of her; just that she keep the house clean and not destroy anything. She did a good job of that.
Her days consisted of waking up in the mornings when he would open his closet to retrieve a coat. She insisted on sleeping in the closet; it was darker in there, and she found it more comfortable. Though, that one night where he had bundled her up and tucked her into his bed; that was probably one of the best nights of sleep she had gotten in a long time.
He would make breakfast for the two of them, and they would eat together. She would look around the house, hunting his journal down, as he went upstairs to take a shower before work. He would leave, and she would continue the search, never to any avail. He hid it well.
At the same exact time, every day, the sound of hooves knocking on wood would echo through the house. It would interrupt Speck's moans and groans of boredom. She would roll off of the couch and rush over to the door, flinging it open.
Standing there, smiling as wide as possible, would be a gray pegasus, holding a small package and some letters. The mailmare would always gasp, somewhat frightened by Speck's appearance, and drop the mail. Speck tried not to get visibly upset; the mailmare meant well, she just never remembered that bat-ponies aren't that scary. She would try to fly away, but she would always crash into the ground and roll a few feet before running away; her wings wouldn't flap right, and they would fold in on themselves against her will.
Speck would just sigh, dejected, and return to the inside of the house with the mail. No one could see her there, no one could scorn her, no one could run away from her. After a short while of wallowing, she would open the small package, addressed to her. Inside was an expertly crafted brick. She would take her daily brick up to the bedroom to the left of the stairs. In that room, where her friend insisted she have to herself, were hundreds of bricks. They lined the walls, blocking the closet and window. In a corner was a small box made of bricks. A hiding hole of sorts.
These bricks were all she really had, and they meant the world to her. She stacked the brick up with the rest and left the room. She would scoff at her sentimental feelings before walking back down to the foyer.
She felt like breaking the monotony, and left the house. Her destination was Sugarcube Corner, to visit her friend. She had always wanted to go inside, to see what it was like; it always smelled so wonderful. She snuck through the town, keeping out of sight, lurking around houses, before finally reaching the bakery.
She trotted in with a cheery hello, but was immediately met with a horrified scream. Instead of meeting her friend in the lobby, she was met by an earth-pony mare. Speck covered her ears and huddled in a corner. She felt like she was going to cry.
~~~
One of the most startling screams I have ever heard in my life causes me to drop a pan of fresh blueberry muffins. Mrs. Cake must have seen a rat skitter by. I pick the muffins up and quickly put them back on the tray. Five second rule, even though I'm almost completely convinced Equestria is naturally clean. I sigh and grab a broom by the door as I walk out into the lobby, preparing myself to calm Mrs. Cake, as Mr. Cake is out of town on business.
The first thing I notice, as Mrs. Cake continues her screaming, is Speck huddled in the corner by the entrance. She looks like she's crying, but she's turned away from me; I can't tell. First thing's first, I place a hand on Mrs. Cake's shoulder and beckon her back into the kitchen to calm her down.
"Calm down, Mrs. Cake. I'll take care of this. You just stay here, keep calm, and keep the ovens going. She nods in understanding, still scared stiff, as I give her the broom. I walk back into the lobby and approach Speck. I kneel down next to her, but prevent myself from reaching for her. Something touching her suddenly might cause her to panic and lash out. Plus, I feel Mrs. Cake watching me, so I'm a little wary about how she'd react to our relationship. Though, I think for a second. Do I value a job I don't need over a new friend that's just as different and alone as I am?
I place a hand on her back and stroke her gently. She flinches at my touch, but quickly recognizes my presence. Her head turns, revealing tear-stained cheeks. She wipes her eyes with a hoof before trying to hide against me.
"Why does everypony hate me?" I hug her as tight as I can. I can't imagine how she's felt all her life, if she's been treated this way. I'm sure things were different in Hollow Shades, and I'm sure things are different in bigger cities, with more diverse populations. But here? A small town like Ponyville would probably be less accepting of anyone different. I suppose I was a special case, in that department. In the year that I've lived here, I've been treated with nothing but kindness.
I sit against the wall as she buries her face into my apron. It quickly soaks with her tears, but I keep holding her. Mrs. Cake has retreated into the kitchen. All I can do right now is hold this pony close and stroke her mane.
An hour passes, and I assume she must have fallen asleep. She's quieted down, aside from gentle, steady breathing. There's only one way to find out if she's awake.
"As batty as you drive me, I'll never leave you hanging when you're feeling upside down." Today might be the day I leave Equestria, though not in the way anyone intended. Maybe I'll leave a note. I just can not believe I said that. If there is anything I hate more than bats and puns, it's bat puns.
There's a small explosion of snot and tears as she begins laughing through her sadness and fears. How disgusting. She looks up at me, flashing her fangs with a smile. At least she's feeling better, though I may be sick soon. I smile back and scratch her behind the ear.
"Feeling batter?" Maybe I'll skip the note and just jump off a bridge. I'll need to find a bridge that isn't in this town; all of them are barely five feet off the ground. She tries to suppress a fit of giggling, with little success.
"I'm feeling much batter. Thanks, Anon." I opened the floodgates. The wall has come crashing down. The punpocalypse has begun. Her stomach rumbles; she perks up, as if remembering something important.
"Hungry?"
"Yes. Berry hungry. Are you baking anyfang good?" She's really stretching it. There are knives in the kitchen; I could make it quick.
I can barely concoct a plan before she climbs out of my lap and starts walking toward the kitchen. I jump up and intercept her.
"I don't think you should go in there just yet. You startled Mrs. Cake pretty bad. Let me talk to her for a minute, alright?" Speck looks away with a frown and kicks at the floor with a front hoof.
"Alright."
Mrs. Cake pulls a pineapple upside down cake out of an oven as I step into the kitchen. Puzzling; today is muffin and pie day. We don't bake any kinds of cakes until tomorrow. She places the cake on the center island and cuts me off, just as I start to speak.
"Where's your friend, dearie? I figured while you were consoling her, I'd bake her something special to say I was sorry." She clears her throat, obviously still nerve-wracked from the ordeal. "I didn't know she was your friend, and I know you wouldn't keep bad company." That's reassuring. If ponies were quick to scorn Speck when she was alone, then maybe they would give her a chance if she was with me. After all, I'm fairly well-liked around town.
Hooves click and clack against the wooden floor behind me. I turn to find Speck wandering into the room, salivating and licking her muzzle. Mrs. Cake smiles at her, but there's a hint of fear behind it.
"Hello, dearie." Speck snaps out of her little trance and looks at Mrs. Cake. She shies away and hides behind my leg. I kneel down and pull her in front of me.
"Mrs. Cake baked you something special to say she was sorry for reacting the way she did." Speck lowers her head and kicks at the floor.
"I'm sorry I scared you."
"Oh, it's quite alright!" Mrs. Cake smiles and beckons Speck towards the cake. She looks up at me as I nudge her forward. Mrs. Cake smiles as she approaches the cake. There is no more fear behind her smile. Speck mounts one of the stools by the island, and it begins.
She sniffs at the cake and casts a sideways glance at Mrs. Cake. She nods, giving Speck the okay to take a bite out of it. Not even bothering to ask for anything to cut the cake with, she opens her mouth as wide as possible and sinks her fangs into the cake. She sits for, what feels like, an eternity. She hasn't chewed yet, that one piece of cake still sitting in her mouth. She just sits there, wide-eyed and mouth agape. Mrs. Cake offers me a puzzled look. I roll my eyes and shrug, signifying that this is normal.
Speck rests her chin on the table, covers her face with her hooves, and starts sobbing. I walk over and sit on a stool beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. She rests her hooves beside the cake, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
"Wh-why is this th-the best cake ever m-made." Her eyes lock to the cake, as if it were a long lost lover. Mrs. Cake tries not to laugh. Speck sniffles a little bit as she chews and swallows her bite of the cake. "Can I take it home?"
"Of course." Mrs. Cake takes the treat and boxes it up for Speck to take back home. She thanks Mrs. Cake, hops down from the stool, and puts the box on her back. She looks up at me with a wide smile.
"I still have to finish baking and clean up around here. Will you be alright getting home?" She nods and nuzzles my leg as she leaves. As soon as the bell in the lobby rings, Mrs. Cake doubles over in laughter.
"Oh, dearie! Wherever did you find her?" I sigh and lean on the counter as I begin to regale Mrs. Cake with my story.
~~~
Speck trotted out of Sugarcube Corner with a big smile on her face, and a delicious cake on her back. With a skip in her step, and all the joy in her heart, she trotted through the town, not even bothering to hide in alleys or in shadows. All she could think about was how good that cake was, and how her friend was going to help bake it from then on. Yet, her mood dwindled and her spirit fell as ponies looked on at her in disgust. Her trot turned into a canter, which turned into a gallop, and finally became a full sprint. She tried her best to ignore their stares.
Her friend's house came into view. She threw herself through the front door, slamming it shut behind her. She tossed the cake onto the table and rushed upstairs, straight into her friend's closet. His clothes covered her form as she pulled them from their hangers. She pulled the door shut, curled up, and cried. She cried until she fell asleep, ready to venture into Luna's dreamscape. It was almost unheard of for bat-ponies to have nightmares; none came for this pony.
She dreamt of cakes, muffins, fruits, and all of her favorite little treats. She dreamt of her friend, and how kind and caring he had been to her. She dreamt of moving away from everything to live in a huge tree-house with him.
And something watched from afar within her dreams, smiling behind a mask.
~~~
After a long day at Sugarcube Corner, I finally arrive home. I brought a banana cream pie for Speck, figuring she'd love another treat. Mrs. Cake came up with the idea; she's always taken a liking to any pony that loves her cooking. I walk into the kitchen and find Speck's cake sitting on the table. I shake my head as I put it in the fridge with the pie before heading upstairs to my bedroom.
Something about the closet seems a little weird. Maybe it's the shirt sleeve sticking out from under the door. I look inside to find Speck curled up in a few of my shirts and jackets. Her cheekfur is plastered down by dried tears. Something must have happened to her on the way home. She shivers gently. I pull a blanket off of the closet shelf, wrap her up in it, and pick her up. She doesn't stir, or wake. I walk over to the bed, pull my journal from behind the headboard, and carry Speck downstairs. We might as well sleep down there, in case she gets hungry or wants me to read her a story.
As I lay down on the sofa, I roll my little bat-bundle into the crook of my arm. She tucks herself tightly against me. I stroke her mane gently before plucking a pen off of the coffee table and start writing the day's events into my journal.
Once finished, I toss the journal and pen onto the table; the entry was fairly short, as the day was more or less uneventful. I twist to lay on my side and hug Speck as close to me as I can. No one should have to go through what she's gone through recently. I close my eyes, silently promising to her that tomorrow will be better.
***
A white, foal-sized pony, lacking wings and a horn, struts just out of sight. A white leather mask covers its face, the only openings being two little slits over where its eyes would be. It wears a golden-orange scarf that seems to flutter without any kind of wind.
"Good luck." A mechanical, lifeless voice whispers.
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What do you mean by
oh man! if i saw a crying bat pony id lose it! id wanna hug it so hard the universe would explode!
Ponies must be really tiny in this fic. Uber cute too.
4609858
Clearly they mean 'ontological categories'. I believe in this case the author is referring to the categorical breakdown of specific states of being. So far the story has been a wonderfully moving allegory for what it means to be human.
Why do I get the feels that this little pony is the one that's been leaving the bricks?
Alo, what IS with the bricks?
4609858
Counting the amount of original character's I've made through the fic. I think the total in the original was 20 something.
4609921
Waist-high, standing.
4610063
It's explained later on.
Can't wait to read more!
4610063
Speck's mother made muffins in a brick making kiln, so if I had to guess, I'd say the bricks are a memento from Speck's family. A "remember where you came from" kind of thing.
4604529
QFT
Dem fluffy ears.
4610187
It's neither a filly nor a colt. It isn't even real.
Aww, poor Speck.
Give her a hug from me, will ya?
Jesus Christ, every time I look at this story for a new chapter I stare at that art for about three minutes. It is waaaaaay too cute.
4610063 I reckon it's Ping Pong sending her the bricks. Either so she can eventually build a house of her own or her own extension to Anon's house, or a kiln for baking.
4609949 Your profile pic matches your... Comment.. perfectly. I laughed good at that.
4610239 lolwat... I guess I'll see.
Oh god the horrible puns are everywhere! Make it stop!
Brilliant chapter. Keep it up!
4610239
4610944
No.
4611646 Bugger. Guess I'll have to keep reading to find out, then.
The postage on all those bricks must be killer!
I'm surprised he never got any info about why Cake was afraid of Speck or bat ponies in general. It's something worth investigating, though from what I've seen so far he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would go through great lengths to fix things on a grand scale. Hopefully he'll help Speck to get more friends in the long run though.
4611782
""They're in the Kindness wing, on the "B" shelf." She shivers gently as she points. "If you ever meet one of those ponies, I highly suggest keeping your distance. They have a very bad reputation." I nod and walk upstairs. This is the first instance that I have heard a pony say anything racist. Or specist. Ponyist? I shrug and walk into the Kindness wing."
>Loneliness - 2
>Chalking Mrs. Cake's distaste up to the same general reason.
There's also the fact that she screamed when she first met Anon, so it can easily be assumed she's just easily frightened by different things.
It took me a while to realize she actually took a bite out.
At first I thought she just sunk her fangs in the cake and was sitting there, jaw wrapped around as much of the cake as she could manage, but without actually taking a part off it.
I pictured this, but with the cake sitting there on the island, and her cute mouth comically wide open pressed against the cake.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120728163603/mlp/images/9/9e/Gummy_latched_onto_Rainbow_Dash's_face_S1E25.png
4612652
I don't think I've ever read about WHAT that bad reputation the bat ponies have in general. All I know is that they really like puns and fruit and share some other characteristics with bats and that's it. I don't think you ever explained where that bad reputation came from, yet.
4614674
It's coming, probably in the next chapter.
I never wrote it into the original, so it's something to be expanded on soon.
Speck and Reverie (unnamed in the original) had met at least once, and were on fairly good terms, but I wanted to expand more on that, and develop her.
Might even end up doing side-fics for some of the other characters.
I know Pingpong and the dream-pony are going to get one.
This is just what i needed.
Thank you.
4614736
I think it would be good for Speck's development to give her own opinion on the supposed bad reputation, if she actually knows about it that is.
4621623
She doesn't trust him, due to his being from another world and acting fairly shifty.
Speck's family sends her a brick every day, that's rather sweet, can't wait to hear the reason behind it. Also how douse a tree have a mailing address?
It kind of bothers me a little bit that you haven't described anyone's cutie mark; it is a major part of a pony's personality.
4625206
The mailmare is a wizard and knows the location of every pony in town at any given moment.
>Cutiemarks
I'll spend my day off going through the story and fitting those in.
She could have built her own house with all of the bricks she's amassed. Which is what I would have done if I lived in a tree. I'm not sure where they're from, but I'm assuming family from the fact she mentioned her mother cooked in a kiln, and how kilns make bricks. (And apparently muffins)
I finally caught myself up on this story.
Speck's so cute I'm gonna die, man. I think I've contracted ultra-diabetes or something, and though my days are now numbered as a result of reading this, I can't think of a better way to go.
4641403
S-senpai likes my bat. Uguu~~
4621623 Why are you making good points..
This is style but would "she now had" to indicate recentness incase anybody randomly jumps in here, or takes a break between this chapter and the last, cuz it seems like you're basically refreshing your readers anyways on top of just clarifying the level of time elapsed.
>not eating Anon's clothes or stealing his lightbulbs
Speck, you would make a terrible Actias. At least try to get on her level, hmm?
You could semicolon.
Ditzy confirmed for immortal.
>"No, man, she's totally a descendant or something."
Oh, well then Equestria confirmed for caste system.
"Insides" conjures some fairly visceral imagery. Maybe just "go back inside the house" or "return to the house?"
You might wanna say "the bat-pony covered," or "Speck covered," because the antecedence implies that it's the mare who's ear-covering, which doesn't grok.
Semicolon would help me here.
I'm guessing things were actually worse in Hollow Shades.
Not like with screaming because she's a bat-pony, but like, for other reasons.
Wow, the first few puns in the last chapter were actually quite good as far as puns go.
But now. Wow these are pretty fricking base.
This is a little muddled. It's a bit confusing whether he's still on about suiciding or is worried that she'll hurt herself or frighten Ms. Cake into something sharp if she goes into the next room, or if Ms. Cake will panic and grab a knife, or whether he could slice some fruit for her or just what. It's indicated next kinda what he means but you don't want to potentially leave a reader confused for 3 sentences running.
Apparently despite not having any proper friends, really.
With shit like this having posted before the creation of the moth threads, it makes sense that it's left this legacy of these occasional cute-but-utterly-weird behaviors from the characters who were created there.
These terms are out of sequence. From slowest to fastest, it goes: walk, trot, canter, gallop, and then I guess you could say "full sprint" as a cap still.
Huh. This is because they are Luna's chosen or some such?
SKULL KID!
static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/1179/11799911/2397299-skullkid.jpg
You sorta slip into fullblown past tense here. I would just do this in present. "she always takes a liking to anypony that loves her cooking" or at least "she has always taken..."
I'm glad you don't beat us over the head with the burrito thing. Some authors in bat atm force the memes so fricking hard.
It *IS* Skull Kid!
Also
>leather mask
I'm sure you realize this is a fairly sinister thing to have, considering cows are citizens just like ponies...
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100511013433/starfox/images/6/6b/General_Pepper_(SNES).jpg
I wanted to give this a chance, I really did, but it just feels so wooden.
Perhaps that is how you want it to come across, you know with the two main characters being the outcasts. But I just cant find myself enjoying the story.
At least he has made a friend.
Ack, the diabeetus! HURK!!!!!!
HHMMM I think I see something here no wait it's actually what I don't see like, I don't know the LOVE AND FUCKING TOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
