Author's Afterward and Q&A
I think I will start this off by telling you all how this came about. I read part of the first Five Score story. And it got to where they all met up at the farm. I seriously enjoyed it. And was enjoying new chapters as they came out. Then June of 2014 came about. Twisted Spectrum did a blog post, talking about a new story in the five score universe. I had read quite a few of the side stories, not aware how many were defunct. But this new one, by a guy named Phenrys, looked interesting. I read the entire thirty thousand words in a day. And then my muse bit my ear, I sat down and wrote. And wrote, and wrote some more. By the time I had about fifteen thousand words in. I worked up the courage to PM Phenrys about his story and I was seeking his input on the beginning of Dust on the Wind. He wrote back, and and he had the same idea that I had written to him and hit send not five minutes before, collaboration! I finally published the start of Dust at the beginning of July, 2014. Little did I know at that point that I had met my best friend. Seriously, Phenrys, I’m so glad I met you. While his pace of writing is much slower than mine, he crafts wonderful pony words, seriously, if you’ve read Dust, you need to read Irony’s Tale. (And Velvet Nightfall, but I’ll get to that in a bit). So, after a bit more than a year of writing consistently on this story, it’s finally done. YAY!!!
A latecomer to the addition of the Five Score universe that is Dust on the Wind, Kitsy Chan, she powered through the main story, and The Last Crusade, and Earning Wings of a Different Nature, then she went through Dust very quickly. And then she decided to make her own story. So, now I’ve got three authors I’m in constant communication with. Even though this story is over, I’m going to continue talking to my friends about their own five score stories, and providing support wherever possible.
What am I going to do now?
Well, I’m going to get some other stories complete. Though I’m not done with the five score universe. I have Mischief Makers tickling the back of my brain. But I don’t want it to completely take over my life like Dust on the Wind has, so I’m going to try to force it back to the back burner for a while, it needs time to mature. Remember, Mischief is a little foal, and she needs to grow up a bit before I start in on her life.
Now, on to the real Q&A… Pretty much all of them from the third author I talk to all the time…exnaggerwes
Q. Do you like Dust more than your OC Sparky?
A. At first, no. After getting in her head for a year, most definitely…yes.
Q. What's your opinion on Dust wearing shoes in Equestria? Rainbow Dash tried to sell her horseshoe in "Trade Ya", implying that she wore them at least at some point.
A. I think shoes are helpful for ponies as well as horses. I have Dust wearing shoes for a reason. I even have Dash wearing shoes in Rainbow in the Dark.
Q. Being a fillyfooler, can Dust confirm that Rarity is an attractive pony? or does she wear too much makeup?
A. Yes, skillfully applied makeup can make an average woman beautiful, or make a beautiful woman drop dead gorgeous. From every reliable depiction of Rarity, she would be one to skillfully apply makeup, not cake it on. Though I do wonder, how does makeup work on fur?
Q. What's Dust's favorite color?
A. Turquoise, what else?
Q. Obviously Mike Shaw had an affinity for electricity and circuits. Does Dust actually share this affinity naturally, or was it acquired as part of her human side remaining behind as she took on her new form?
A. Acquired as her human side integrated with her pony side.
Q. Would said affinity for electricity carry on to modding electrical and mechanical parts and machines? Would she know which power supply to put into a computer that ran dual xeon processors and 2 GTX 980 Ti's in SLI?
A. Dust is not a computer expert.
Q. Does Lightning Dust's house have a room with a skylight?
A. No, she did eventually build a pegasus landing platform off of the Master Bedroom though.
Q. What kind of Music does Dust like?
A. Hard question right there. I think she’d like classic rock, and perhaps some metal. Anything else is pretty dependent on mood.
Q. Does Dust prefer Intel or AMD?
A. She doesn’t care, one way or another.
Q. Does Dust prefer AMD or NVIDIA?
A. See the answer to the previous question.
Q. Did Dust ever find out about Irony's background? Did she know about Ray's?
A. She knows both. Perhaps not all the details, but quite a bit of the story is inferred. Dust has been lover to Irony for over five years as of the end of the story, they know each other pretty much inside and out.
Q. Why didn't we see a clear call out to Sparky in the story?
A. You did, Sparks, in the bar, where Mindy announced her pregnancy. He fought with the human that became Maude Pie
Q. Did anyone ever high five Dylan for courting an older mare?
A. You did exnaggerwes.
Q. What kind of car or chariot would the herd use if they went out with all of the ponies, foals, and children?
A. For earth bound vehicle, a Dodge Sprinter or equivalent. They have a lot to haul around. Chariots, theirs is custom built. Minimum of two strong pegasi to pull, or preferably four.
Q. Would you support polygamy in real life, or should it be reserved for herds in fanfiction?
A. That is a touchy question. I am not a fan of it for humans, but I do follow the tenet of live and let live. If some humans want to have a big family like that. That is their business.
Q. That said, how would Dust's herd deal with the fact that there are so many couples in one herd, and so few instances of the herd as a whole?
A. While there are “couples” within the herd. They are mere subsets to the herd as a whole. Moon Shadow has a strong affinity for Irony. But she really does love her entire herd equally. Dust is the same way. Mindy and Alan, for the longest time were fairly exclusive, but Alan did finally show his love (in more ways than one) to Dust and the other mares.
Q. How would a herd marriage work? Separately as couples, or an even bigger ceremony? Is the herd leader something you have respect for, or is it something you would have preferred to leave out?
A. The herd leader is something I have respect for. Families need leadership to advance and function correctly. In a plural marriage, a leader would need to be chosen, I would think. I don’t think it would be a marriage, at least not on this world. Marriage is older than any government on this world. The fact that government has usurped what is really a function of the community and religion is distressing to me. But I’m not getting into a political discussion, merely stating my opinions.
Q. Just how much inspiration came from Xenophilia and how highly would you recommend it to someone who is more neutral on the concept of herding and polyamory?
A.I highly recommend Xenophilia. In fact, I was not even neutral to the idea of herding and polyamory among ponies before I read it. Though the design of the story, and how well it works, really changed my mind. Herding and polyamory is great..for ponies.
Q. Would you have preferred to break this story up into several slice of life style stories with much more detail, or condense it into one adventure with a lot less focus on the details like Dust's interpersonal relationships and daily occupation?
A. Hmmm, a very tough question. I actually would have liked to make Dust quite a bit longer and focus more on the interpersonal relationships. But I really wanted to advance the adventure side of the story. Elements I’ve thought of will find homes in other stories. Still, about 350k words for this story. I’m quite pleased.
Q. Do you enjoy talking about your story as much as writing it?
A. I could be sarcastic, but….no, I won’t be. Hell yes I enjoy talking about this story. My coworkers are probably sick of Dust on the Wind. I know my wife is.
Q. How many characters in the story are based on real life people?
A. Dust is, Hannah is very much like my daughter. I’ve included the personalities of several people I know into multiple characters.
Q. How many events in the story were inspired by real life?
A. Some events, the switchgear explosion did happen. And a couple of other things.
Q. What was your favorite scene to write?
A.I actually had a lot of scenes that were really fun. Anything where Mindy was being nuts was a challenge, but I think they turned out very well. I loved doing the interpersonal relationships between the herd. But an absolute favorite? I can’t say, there were a lot that I really enjoyed.
Well, that’s it for this story. Hope you enjoyed, and go ahead and check out my other stories.
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I'm so very glad to have you as my friend. Amazing how our stories brought us together. Thank you, my brother.
I will say this, this was an awesome story! I know I say that a lot, but I absolutely mean it this time. Not many stories have captured my interest and held it as long and as hard as this one has, and I had a great time reading this story and would recommend it to others any time
6201862 Meant every word of it. My friend.
6201909 Sad/happy to see the story end. I want somebody to write a spitfire Five score fic because I am just awful at writing..
now that this story has concluded, i can give a proper opinion on it.
This story was a beautifully brilliant bombastic bit of fun. It had just about everything; adventure, philosophy, poetry, romance, horror, some very somber moments, some genuine moments that made me angry at humanity, a great backstory, an epic cast of characters, and... well, to be shorter, i loved it!
Dust's story may have ended, but i gave a feeling that it's just the beginning.....
5 points on the
itude meter! if this is what i can expect from you, at least, i'll be looking forward to what happens next.
Welp, it ended.
I greatly enjoyed this story. I would love to see little side stories featuring 'a day in the life' of other characters if you have the drive in the future, but this was a wonderful read, and a world I would eagerly explore and experience. In short, a very well written story.
Now that it's done, I'm upgrading it from 'tracked' to 'favorited'.
6203263 Are you objecting to how I ended the story? If so... Why?
6204487
I'm honestly conflicted here. The part with Discord I like very much. I has more of proper Discord than original FS, or pretty much every other story linked to FS. Discord is not Khorne, he's Tzeentch, many tend to forget that.
But then there's the part with Dust coming from the dead. Through all this story Dust is trying to outpace Rainbow Dash of the original FS. She even have most of the battles Dash has (including the confrontation with Discord in the very same moment Dash fights him in Equestria). Then there's the rainboom (with everyone suddenly forgetting about the one Rainbow did in Des Moines). And finally, she defeats the unbeatable opponent with hypersonic strike, exactly like Dash did in FS. And she dies in the process (outdashing Dash one last time with her sacrifice, since Dash had survived). Up to this point it's all right, it fits Dust's character very well.
But then she gets out of it alive and well (magical exhaustion doesn't count, it's merely an inconvenience for a few days). And that's the kind of outdashing Dash (who was nearly crippled and recovering from her wounds for a long time after) that is not good, it negates her sacrifice, and, frankly, it's not needed. The same effect could be reached many other ways (clinical death and long reanimation works, for example), and dieing and coming back have a lot of unnecessary load to it. Dash is already de-facto leader of the ponies on Earth, did you really needed to make her pony Jesus?
6204607 I do respect your opinion on this. But I must disagree. Yes, Dust and Dash had some serious parallels, but in the end, I couldn't leave her dead. I debates with myself for months, whether or not she'd be permanently broken from this. In the end, I thought her coming back because of Discord would be best. I want her to be mom for Mischief, because of my planned sequel. I like the ending as it is. But you are free to disagree. Thank you for the input on this though, I really do appreciate it.
6204854 I'm not saying that you should've left her dead (though, it's an outcome that work for the story since she's died a hero's death after hero's life). And even permanent damage is not necessary (especially with Henry around), though some traces of the event would be nice.
), it's still a great story and it has a great ending. 
But the death itself was not needed here. Even for the conversation with Discord and his help. The same story elements work just as fine with her nearly dieing and everyone giving up on her recovery. It doesn't change the emotional part, it almost doesn't change the text itself (few tweaks, one or two more paragraphs, very minor differences), but it does remove one element that's doesn't feel right. Resurrection is not a part of this story for 77 chapters. It could finish without it as well.
But well, what's done is done, it finished as it did, and while it's not an optimal way in my opinion (forgive me for being an insufferable perfectionist at times
Let's hope that sequel will be at least as good.
6245864 I actually discussed with Twisted Spectrum the premise of the story before I wrote it. And he said go for it. I wanted to do the story from the perspective of a person that was establish and successful ,only to have the five score curse come in and make his/her life difficult.
The rapid pacing is actually deliberate. The main focus of the story is after Discord.
6248866
Serenity, a male version of firefly :) I think that's why they name him Serenity :)
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120326185037/mlp/images/7/73/Pink_raindrops_pegasus_stallion_S2E22.png
6249334 sorry,never got around to fixing that.
That was... something. Whew.
1. Holy crap, the comments. I really should have held my tongue in that last comment lol.
2.
Thank you! \^_^/
Words coming soon* hopefully.
I did have a reason for asking this one, I was curious about the house's structure and I'm trying to piece it together in my mind.
Despite previous misgivings I may have expressed, I would love to see these emerge, and admit they are my absolute favorite to write. I also love your opinions on the previous questions as well, mainly about polyamoury among ponies and humans. It gives quite a bit of extra flavor to the backgrounds of stories to know how fantasy and reality work together. Personally, I feel somewhat the same where some things are meant to live in fantasy and others in reality. It's the spice of adventure and wonder that most people find in the stories they read and tell.
Also, sorry for the incessant computer questions, I was having a bit of fun with coming up with them and at the time, I was listening to a playlist of tech podcasts.
Thank you so much for offering all of the insight. I will most definitely continue reading your stories and excitedly await each new chapter. You are a true inspiration for my muses and passions, and I can't express enough how much I've enjoyed reading and writing these with you.
6203017 I did a semi-canon one-shot from Ray's perspective, if you're interested, and I plan to speckle a few more from this and Irony's tale around my page and blog posts, if it's alright with the authors. I will likely discuss some of them with the authors beforehand, especially because of Sparky's reply to the question of large adventure vs. Broken up slice of life.
6201964 meh. I *did* need another character for mine. I was going to just make them an OC, but I suppose I could have a 'bolt too. Although by the time I can actually roll that one out, I expect to see all of my characters already used in others lol.
6304557 I wouldn't say there was much... if any... censorship in how I had the end of the story play out. I showed Phenrys right after I wrote it, and showed you later. I didn't change much, mainly just expanded on the scene, trying to give it more depth. I think it worked out excellently.
All in all, thank you to you, and everyone else who has and continues to comment on this story. Dust's story isn't finished, not by a long shot. I'm still contemplating Mischief Makers, and also Epsilon Pegasus, where I jump back into the five score universe with both feet (or all four hooves, depends on perspective). And I've got plans to do Quantum Leap Xenophilia, and A New Purpose, both of those I'm looking forward to people's reactions to. I love the stories right now, and I love seeing how people think of new chapters as they come out.
This fic has a lot of interesting ideas but fails in its execution. Downvoting such a long fic doesn't come easy and I feel I need to try to explain why I chose to do it.
The characters in the original Five Score act like most of us would: quickly purchase supplies and then find a safe place to hide while trying to figure out what's going on. Dust's approach is radically different: she embraces her new identity and decides to let life continue on as before. The employees at the company simply have to accept the fact that their boss is now a pegasus.
I feel somewhat robbed of the things that made me love Five Score: the panicky feeling when the protagonists have to quickly act on incomplete information and the ever-present fear of being discovered. On the other hand, the idea of a pony that demands that she be accepted by human society is an interesting one worthy of being explored. Mike being older, having a family and a successful company all make his behaviour feel more plausible. Dust's fearless personality also helps.
I read the first quarter in little over a day. Up to that point the fic had looked very promising. After that point though the story's flaws started becoming increasingly apparent. The plot starts to shoot off in all directions, the story keeps jumping between subplots and none of them are explored to their full extent. For each chapter that passes I feel that it's turning into more and more of an unengaging mess and by the halfway mark I'm starting to grow tired of the fic. I can no longer ignore the sparse writing style and the incorrect use of punctuation with commas just about everywhere. I've seen examples of up to four sentences linked together by commas (that's what semicolons, colons and dashes are for).
A common advice to aspiring writers is to "show, don't tell". Dust on the Wind is on the far end of the "tell" part of the scale. I guess that's why I'm finding the story so unengaging. Especially the more actiony scenes tend to devolve into a list of "X did Y". It's not uncommon to find several sentences in a row starting with the same pronoun.
The story is written in the first person. Sometimes there's the need to describe an event from someone else's point of view. This is also done in the first person but with a small note telling us who we're dealing with. (There's also at least one event being told in the third person.) It feels strange and made worse by the fact that we the readers barely know the person in question.
Not only Dust but also her associates take the transformation a tad too lightly, removing a potential source for conflict. Furthermore, the ponies automatically get many of their old memories back. We're shown in a few dream sequences how the two identities Mike and Dust reconcile with each other and presto, another interesting topic is done and over with. Regaining memories also means that humans transforming into foals regress to a child's mental level, something I find both strange and disturbing.
Fairly soon after the transformation Mike's/Dust's wife tells her that their relationship probably will be over soon – that Dust will want to be with her own kind. It is an interesting conflict which like many of the others is not given much space or thought. Instead Dust begins to assemble her "herd" of mares and stallions, and women and men. Her only criterion seems to be physical attraction – i.e. whether the person in question gives her a raging wingboner.
The other members of this polyamorous relationship remain fairly anonymous throughout the story. (I know there are parallel stories but they shouldn't be a requirement.) Their personalities vary dramatically and they usually have only one or two characteristics that define them. The relationships feel unromantic, unsexy and pointless. The only time things got interesting was Dust's drunken one night stand with a fighter pilot. I'd like to have seen more of that kind of reckless behaviour. The optional sex scenes failed to add anything to the story – it was just pure clop. Four Score managed to include sex scenes that added to both the story and character development.
Then there's the villains. The story's antagonists not only feel stereotypical but downright like caricatures. They are powered either by an enormous hatred or by utter madness. Because of the sprawling plot they tend to pop up whenever it's convenient and otherwise stay away.
The story does not shy away from depicting some very dark scenes: ponies used as sex slaves and test subjects and Dust herself being raped and tortured. Told the right way these scenes could have been very powerful. Now it's told in the same sparse style as the rest of the story. The result is that the characters' feelings aren't conveyed strong enough. Granted, four years of reading fanfiction has made me a bit blasé about grimdark stuff.
Another problem with the story is the presence of very powerful magic users. Dust not only surrounds herself with some of the most powerful unicorns – she herself can shoot time-displacement lightning and absorb magical attacks with her wings. Also earth ponies and a few humans possess some measure of magical ability. The only thing the villains can do is to kidnap someone from the group and then stay hidden. As soon as they confront Dust and her team head on they're toast.
The type of magic that I see as the most problematic is transformation spells. It completely kills the whole idea of Five Score: that the transformation is involuntary and that they'll simply have to live with it. It also takes away the feeling of the ponies being these out-of-place alien creatures now that every human can become a pony.
In conclusion
Positive: An interesting original idea and not just a rehash of Five Score. Integrates well with the Five Score timeline. Most of the fic takes place after Five Score. Does not shy away from dark topics. Is not afraid of killing off a major character. It's a rather lengthy fic that's actually finished. The text seems to have gone through some rigorous spellchecking.
Negative: Pacing is too fast and uneven. Writing style is sparse and sentences short without any embellishments. Incorrect use of commas. Underdeveloped secondary characters and villains. Many missed opportunities for character development. There are too many subplots and the story jumps around too much. Dust and her team are too overpowered.
6361274 Well, thank you for the review. As you can probably tell, I'm not in agreement with much of it. But I'm very glad you took the time to review it. I'm using my fimfic writing to gain experience and skill for writing a novel for actual publication. So I will think long and hard about what you have said.
6363451 I'm going to assume this is tongue in cheek, I even talked to Twisted Spectrum about Dust being older as a human before the change. It's part of the reason I did the story. Not going to change that basic plot point.
6363451
Continue reading, there is a plausible explanation.
6500953 loving the comments, BTW. But soarin's funeral was really powerful to me. Glad you liked.
6544225 would never make it too easy. Love the comments!
(This comment was written BEFORE I read the book, do not yell at me)
Ok, 77 chapters in a completed book... The original had around 30... Question: how many chapters are set AFTER the fall of discord?
6555187 a good 2/3 of the story is set after the fight with Discord.
6544973
6503312
6363631 This is the part where i realize that you don't realize that replies don't notify their commentators outside the chapter they were posted in. In other words, since you replied on the story page, the replies ended up on the latest chapter (this one) and we never knew about it until just now when finishing...
Anyways, enough about that!
This was pretty darn fun overall. It didn't fall nearly as dark as it could have, and I'm glad for that.
Keep going! ;)
6558676 ah, that may explain a few things.
6558838 yeah, it's a small bug Knighty hasn't really had a need to fix, since a majority of the time people are commenting on the latest chapter, so it's not a big deal, but for completed fics....
6558661 I don't know if you know...but there is a sequel to this story. It's called the Epsilon Pegasus. Hope you enjoy.
FYI, I'm beginning a complete reread of Dust today. Love this story.
6785794 Who said I stopped reading there? The story was worth my exhaustion to the point I stopped reading at 9AM, 7 hours after I commented.
I think that gives me a total of... 16 hours of non stop Dust On The Wind. I remember that night well and I had no regrets.
I'm spent. I have no more to say, except this. Damn, you're good!
6791167 You still have Epsilon Pegasus to catch up on.
Before that, though, I would recommend to read Velvet Nightfall and Irony's Tale.
6791181 Ahhhhhh! I'm in bliss! So manehhh booooookkkss!!!!! (technically stories, but whatever)
6791181 And don't you worry. I'll read ALL the fanfics!!
6791186
No you won't. The evil authors write them faster than anyone could read.
I think, even the Book Horse can't read them all.
6791282 Well, I'm gonna try!!
6846031 yes, and I really appreciate you checking out this story as well. I do recommend you reading the original five score divided by Four. and check out some of the companion stories to this one as they are quite good.
6846131 I plan to!
Ave Imperiator!
6849093 From The Last Crusade, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Babs Seed.
6850151 hehe
6851676 And I've been thoroughly enjoying this story, this kind of timeline is incredible! But the bit with Season 5 kinda confuses me...
I tip my helmet to you, this story has introduced me to a whole new world that I have only just discovered, and now plan on reading more of. May the Emperor of Mankind smile on you, Ave Imperiator!
6851793 well, this story has a sequel in the Epsilon Pegasus, and don't forget Irony's tale, and Velvet Nightfall.
7340779 LMAO, very very funny there. There is more in this line of the Five Score universe. There's obviously Irony's Tale, by Phenrys, then there's Kitsy-Chan's Velvet Nightfall. And there's another story, set roughly 20 years later, my Epsilon Pegasus. So, if you want more...there is more to be had.
7342778 I saw a Trixie story but it was one of the dead four score stories. There's a dead one with Lightning Dust. But since it hadn't been updated in about a year, I decided to take her.
7357221 I toyed with a few ideas for some of the girls that Twilight met in Equestria Girls to show up, but I didn't like the way the story would have gone, so that plot line was dropped.
I think my only remain real issue is that you and A New Have are not insync.