The quiet beep, beep, beep of a heart monitor rouses me from my slumber. At first, my eyelids are too heavy to open, and instead, I try to take a mental checklist of myself. Emphasis on try; it's hard to feel anything. I'm pretty sure I have a sickeningly large tube shoved down my windpipe, though.
It doesn't take long for my addled mind to realize I'm in a hospital of some sort, but I can't remember how I got here. The last thing I remember is checking in to my hotel in Las Pegasus. I was here for... something. A Wonderbolts performance! Yes, that was it. How did I get from a hotel to the hospital? Was there a fire? I decide to figure that out later, and instead make a second attempt at opening my eyes.
A soft light washes over me. I'm in a clean, white room, with yellow sunlight filtering through a single window. A lone potted plant sits in the corner, accompanied by a chair currently occupied by a cyan pegasus with a striking rainbow-colored mane.
Rainbow Dash.
The name floats into my conciousness, unbidden. I don't know where it came from, because I can't remember meeting whoever this is, or even seeing them at all. Yet, something about her tingles the depths of my memory, teasing me with meaningless tendrils of recognition. That same rainbow colored mane whipping across her face as she flies by me. Her magenta eyes, staring into mine...
Wait a minute, she's had her head in her hooves this entire time. I've never seen her eyes before now. What's going on? Is this a dream? Where did she come from?
...and why is she crying?
It was hard to hear, before, but as I swivel my ear in her direction, quiet sniffles make themselves known over the soft beeping of the heart monitor. Did she mistake me for somepony else? Is she some long lost relative I never knew I had?
I try to shift my position, but my limbs feel like lead. I can hear my heartbeat slowly start to rise as the beeps happen faster and faster. Ok, I'm in a hospital. This is bad. Then again, I'm not dead, which is good. I struggle to ignore the giant tube shoved down my throat. Just... deep breaths, deep breaths...
"Oh thank Celestia, you're awake!" Rainbow Dash, assuming that really was her name, flew over to my side. "The doctors... didn't know if you'd ever wake up. I—I—" She stumbled over her words, then lapsed into silence. I was terribly confused. Why was this mare I didn't know so concerned about my well-being? Not that it wasn't appreciated, but...
"C-crap man, I-I'm so sorry." She finally managed to choke out. She sounded awfully close to bursting into tears again. "I just... I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" The dam finally broke, but she had no tears left. She simply started sobbing pitifully, her hooves dangling over the bed protector, her head lying against my side.
Jeez, what was she crying about? I was here, now, right? It couldn't have been that ba—
A surge of adrenaline rips through me, and my heart hammers against my chest. The heart monitor begins beeping frantically as I start counting my limbs.
Beep... Beep... Beep...
One...
Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep
Two...
Beep Beep Beep Beep
Three...
BeepBeepBeepBeep
Four...
beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
No! My eyes widen. I struggle to cry out, but I'm being suffocated by this tube. I try to lift my hooves, try to get the tube out of me, but I can't lift them. I look over to the side of the bed, but Rainbow Dash has already left. Left me alone to die in this hospital bed, trapped in bandages. The world begins to fall away as I struggle to move limbs I can't feel, trying to look underneath me, trying to ignore the hot tears that are forming in my eyes.
One thought reverberates through my head, over and over, roaring in my ears. I can't hear anything anymore. Terror grips my heart. I barely notice Rainbow Dash return with a small army of nurseponies, barely notice as they stab a disturbingly long needle into my hind leg. There is only fear and confusion. Even as the beeping of the heart monitor begins to slow, and I feel myself being pulled back into the darkness, the thought echoes through my rapidly fading conciousness...
Why can't I feel my wings?
Why can't I feel my wings?!
Is it Soarin... IS IT SOARIN?
OH MY LORD NO WINGS AGH
Isn't this Twilight? The pony in the cover image is definitely her color... I would have expected Twilight to check for her horn first, so maybe it isn't her.
I think it's either Soarin or Scootaloo...
Its Fluttershy thats what Im going with and why out of everyone with wings thats friends with Rainbow, Flutters is the only one Rainbow would stick to like glue if something happened, but please tell me I am wrong because then I would cry like I did for the story Letting go.
it could be anypony. if rainbow hurt someone, she wouldn't just leave, that's why she's an element of harmony.
Why can't I feel my wings?
Why can't I feel my wings?!
Dont coment after this so this can be on first page
Do it on second chapter
it would be for the best
Woah. First, who's the pony in bed? Decond, what happened to his or her wings? Wrr they cut off or something?
Can't wait to read more though. Interesting
You're mixing up the past and present, and who's point of view it was. Could use some improvement, but it was still very good in the detail department.
5324679
I'm pretty sure I keep the point of view consistent in this, although this wasn't put through my editors, but I can't see the problems you're mentioning. Can you quote any examples?
You can't feel your wings because you don't have them any more. Dumbass.
5455567 I love love you you pleb.
dear lord that cover art, I know this story is semi old but damn CH what have you done?
Oh god this is the first chapter and I already feel horrible.
Oh my... this doesn't look good Dx
Nice job on this first chappie.
The name floats into my conciousness, unbidden. I don't know where it came from, because I can't remember meeting whoever this is, or even seeing them at all. Yet, something about her tingles the depths of my memory, teasing me with meaningless tendrils of recognition. That same rainbow colored mane whipping across her face as she flies by me. Her magenta eyes, staring into mine...
-Okay so either they were dating and he has a temporary memory impairment*, she got careless and crashed into him (but that unless you started this wrote this BEFORE Wonderbolt Academy that seems more LD's thing), or there was some sort of unrelated disaster either at the show or soon after it.
*A more permanent one could work, but I'm betting it it more the painkillers than anything else, although it could also be something to build the mystery and (s)he will remember before the end of the story.
"I just... I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!"
-Actually, this makes it sound like (s)he suffers from fainting spells or brittle bones or something and Dash pushed him/her into doing something that wasn't safe for someone with that condition. She COULD also have simply not realized he was hurt when something unrelated to stunt flying happened. Still don't think that she crashed into him.
Why can't I feel my wings?!
-Did you start writing this before or after The Cutie Remark? Of course, even if it was after, it would be easy enough to say that that technology doesn't exist in this time-line, or that it only gets you back up to a certain level that is below that of a prime stunt-pony... or just some fraction of whatever you had before..
EDIT: Nope, you definitely seem to have started this WAY before that episode based on the dating on the other comments.
Oh man... I'm just getting goosebumps starting this thing!