Chapter 2
Over in Carousel Boutique, Caramel and Lucky Clover held out a length of fabric while Rarity measured the length.
"I cannot thank you two enough for helping me with this," she said.
"Oh, don't mention it," said Caramel.
"We're always perfectly happy to help," said Lucky. "Anytime."
"And I'll have you know how much I appreciate it," said Rarity, taking a pair of scissors and beginning to cut the fabric. The two stallions exchanged pleased glances. The door to the shop rang.
"Oh, Clover, could you be a darling and go see who that is?" asked Rarity.
"Certainly, ma'am," said Lucky as he turned to answer her request.
"Anything more I can do to help?" asked Caramel.
"Mmm..." she hummed. "Thank you kindly, but I think I'm quite alright."
"Well, howdy!"
Rarity stopped cutting. She recognized that voice.
"I just saw how fancy this place was, so I decided I'd pop in and say hi. Nice home you got here."
"Well, it actually isn't mine..."
Rarity had to step out into the main room. Sure enough, there was Braeburn, eyeing the place.
"Though I can't say it's really the kinda placed I'da live," said Braeburn. "I'm a much more rugged stallion than that."
"Yeah..." said Lucky. "Rugged..."
"Well, hello!" Rarity said. "You're Applejack's cousin Braeburn, right?"
"Indeed Ah am, ma'am!" Braeburn said, putting his nose up with a self-satisfied smile.
"Never can forget a vest like that," Rarity added.
"Yeah, that is a sweet vest," said Caramel.
"The hat's nice, too," said Lucky. "Where'd you get them?"
"Aw, didn't get 'em nowhere. Just good old-fashioned hoof-made pure goodness! Straight from my father."
"He must've had good hooves," said Caramel.
"I'll bet you got good hooves, too," added Lucky.
Rarity watched the banter back and forth, unsure of what to make of it. Three stallions in the room and Rarity wasn't the center of attention. She had the sneaking suspicion that something wasn't completely on the up-and-up.
***
"Uhh, Applejack..." said Twilight.
"'Uhh,' nothing, Twi," said Applejack. "We need to find him, and we need to get him out of here now!"
"Sis, yer overreacting," said Big Macintosh, stepping up next to her.
"Big Mac, you know what happens!"
"Uhh, what happens?" asked Twilight.
"He turns ponies gay!" Applejack shouted.
Twilight stared at her for a good twenty seconds. Then...
"BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! Ohhh, Applejack, that..." Twilight saw her terrified expression. "That's for real?"
"Well," said Big Macintosh, "it's mighty odd, but ever since Braeburn was just a little colt, whenever he was over the other colts were just mighty friendly 'round him. Then when he got older, well..."
"So..." said Twilight, "other stallions find him attractive? What's so strange about that? I mean, he's a good-looking guy..."
"Straight stallions, Twi," stressed Applejack. "Like, he makes them forget they like girls."
"But that doesn't make any sense..." said Twilight.
"Nope," said Big Macintosh.
"But it just... is... kinda like Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense..." Applejack mulled it over.
"Actually..." Twilight pondered, "you might be onto something there!"
"I might?" Applejack asked.
"Passive earth pony magic," said Twilight. She ran back into the library for a quill and paper. "Think of this kind of discovery! Let's find Pinkie Pie!" And with that, she bolted out the door.
"But what about Braeburn?" Applejack called after her.
***
Braeburn left the boutique with Caramel and Lucky Clover on either side of him.
"Mighty courteous of ye two to offer to show me 'round Ponyville," said Braeburn.
"Oh, not a problem!" said Lucky.
"Pleasure's all ours!" said Caramel.
Rarity watched from the doorway, completely stupefied. It was as though those two ponies, who she'd normally had wrapped around her hoof... had just blown her off.
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day!" she exclaimed to herself. Still, she supposed that there was nothing amiss.
She returned to her boutique, looking at the work she had done on her new line of clothes. Somehow she wasn't completely satisfied with it, but revisions, revisions, and more revisions were the hard work of any true artist. She went to her calendar to check up on her schedule, and found that she had an appointment for later that day. Watercolor, a local artist, had requested that she pose for a portrait.
Well, she thought, that's quite a bit of flattery. Not that she was any stranger to flattery.
She chose a nice hat to take with her to the artist's studio. Didn't hurt to come looking one's best, after all. She decided that the care and dedicated attention of a portrait artist would be just the remedy to the callous disregard of her other male friends.
As she walked through the town, however, she noticed that the mares seemed to be congregating around town.
"Can you believe it?" one asked. "I'm talking, and all of a sudden he just stops listening..."
"Like his mind wandered..."
"And he says 'look, you're just not my type.' Huh? We've been together for three years!"
Puzzling... Rarity thought. I may look into this further. But for now there was her appointment with the artist. She opened the door of his studio, stepped inside, and let out a gasp of pure shock.
***
Twilight, Big Macintosh, and a very nervous Applejack made their way to Sugarcube Corner, where they found Mrs. Cake looking at a highly unstable Pinkie Pie.
The pink party pony was rolling around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.
"Uhh... did we come at a bad time?" asked Twilight.
"Worst time possible..." said Applejack.
"I don't know what just happened," said Mrs. Cake. "Everything was normal until just a few minutes ago. Then she just started laughing."
"AAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!" Pinkie Pie laughed. "Funny bone being tickled means... heeheee... snnnkt! That... AHAHAHHAH, that ponies are gayhayahyhayhay!"
Twilight, however, saw something was amiss. "But wait... Big Macintosh?"
"Eeyup?"
"How come you aren't affected?" she asked.
"Ah am affected," said Big Macintosh. "That don't mean I start actin' fruitier than an orchard of apple trees. Look, you folks'r overreactin'. Cousin Brae is here, it'll cause a lot of confusion, and then he'll leave and it'll be lahk nothin' happened."
"Wait, what?" asked Mrs. Cake. "What's going on?"
"Well, Mrs. Cake," explained Twilight, "it would appear that Applejack's cousin Braeburn has a passive magical property that causes an unusual effect when he is in the presence of a heterosexual male pony. That is, it appears that it turns that pony's heterosexual attraction into homosexual attraction, presumably aimed at Braeburn himself."
Mrs. Cake blinked. "Uhh, excuse me?"
"He's turning the stallions gay," said Applejack.
"Ooh! Ooh!" said Pinkie Pie, jumping up. "That means we'll have a lot of ponies coming out, and you know what thaaat means?"
The other four stared at her. Pinkie Pie took a deep breath.
"A COMING OUT PARTY!"
Mrs. Cake, however, was not amused. "I need to find my husband!"
This is brilliant
434911
Yeah. Though admittedly it's one of those stock quotations that people reference without even knowing what it's from. I mean, I've never read the poem in its entirety.
Hillarious, keep going!
Fan. TASTIC.
436455
Whats so good about Breaburn?
Wait can gay ponies be affected by Braeburn... I will need to test this out.
I am beyond excited.
So Braeburn's like Abel, but without the caustic remarks and shapeshifting powers?
(brownie points to whoever gets of who I'm talking about)
438855
Bitch, everybody is gay for Breaburn!
438957
Not me.
He talks too fast and I can't understand his accent.
438960
Well fuck you to.
(J/K)
438962
"(J/K)"
....
Is that meant to be jerk, because if not, I've got nothing.
Here's somthing funny.
It's not magic that's making the ponies go gay for Braeburn.
If magic were involved then that would just be unnessecary.
438957
And yes, you are right.
438855
As for you... how could you not like Braeburn?
439094
He talks too fast, I can't understand his accent, and he's an idiot.
Ponies try to tell him about what happened on the train, he ignore them and sprouts crap about his town.
439114
He was merely showing hospitality.
Talking too fast...hmm... then you must not like Pinkie Pie either.
Applejack has the same accent as him.
439121
Your right I don't like normal pinkie.
I don't trust anyone that smiles all the time, they are hidding something.
And I can't understand Applejack ethier, I had to found a southern dictionary in order to understand what she was saying.
439126
So happiness is a bad thing?
And I'm just going to ignore what you said about Pinkie and Aj.
439130
It's fine to smile, but no-one can be happy all the time.
So if they always smile, then they are faking it.
To trick you or to trick themselfs.
And what was wrong with what I said about Pinkie and AJ?
This makes me smile.
439134
Okay House, people can be happy all the time.
It's called being optomistic.
It's a good thing the world isn't filled with a bunch of pessemists like you.
And yes, what you said about them was wrong.
439142
How was it wrong?
Pinkie is always hyper, which isn't a good thing in a work place.
AJ's accent, it's probally becasue I'm british, I can't understand southern yanks at all.
And Optomists are dissapionted alot.
If you always think the best, you'll be disappointed a lot.
If you think the worst will happen, most things will better than you expected.
439149
Fail.
Those who are optomistic always look on the bright side and keep trying.
People who are pesemistic always look on the bad side of things and are never happy because of that.
And hyperness is very good for a work place if you can focus that energy into one task.
439166
Not really.
If you think you're going to get the best, you will be dissapionted.
If you think you're going yo get the worse, anything above the worse will cheer you up.
And for Pinkie, lets face it, she harrasses ponies (Cranky doodle, Twilight when she arrived), is hyper all the time fo no reason, is slightly insane and has been know that talk to inamtiate objects.
Not the best worker.
I liked her better when she was Pinkamena.
439177
Those who are optomistic don't just think the best; they try their hardest to make the best happen.
Those who are pesemistic always think the worst and try to find some way to make any experience, even ones that aren't bad, seem awful.
439183
Then what am I?
I see the worst and yet also try to make the best happen.
And this still doesn't explain why people love Braeburn.
439190
If you were paying attention to what I said then you would know what you are.
And you just have to like Braeburn, it's a requirement of being alive.
439200
You said:
"Those who are optomistic don't just think the best; they try their hardest to make the best happen.
Those who are pesemistic always think the worst and try to find some way to make any experience, even ones that aren't bad, seem awful. "
If I have to do something, I'll try my hardest to make the work a great standard, but afterwords I'll expect people to see it as rubbish and expect to have to do it again.
439208
Then you just hate Braeburn for no reason.
439212
Note hate, I don't wish for him to die.
I just don't get people think that he's so good.
439216
Because he just is.
439219
But how?
439221
He just is.
439222
Thats not a real answer.
There is a reason for everything.
439227
Season 1 Episode 15 Feeling Pinkie Keen
439234
Pinkie can be explained.
Earth pony magic, or she reads the script.
439240
But Earth ponies don't have magic.
439242
All ponies have magic.
Unicorns focus it with horns.
Pegaus use it to move clouds and aid flight.
Earth ponies use it to allow them to grow crops, much better than the others can.
439246
Look, either you're denying that you like Braeburn or you don't like Braeburn; either way you need to get professonal help.
439260
Why does the fact I don't like Braeburn = Needing help?
439264
Yes! Not liking Braeburn does =Needing Help
There might still be hope for you.
439275
...
Why?
I just don't like the guy.
439283
But that simply isn't possible if you are mentally sound.
439284
I'm perfectly sound.
Unless the fact I see ponies around me means differently.
439294
This is the most boring derailment of a comment section I've had.
439302
Good for you.
Still don't get why people like Braeburn?
439307
Well they do.
There is no explanation needed. They just do.
And if you don't then you're crazy.
439313
Crazy?
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/9137719.jpg
439318
Yes you are crazy
439323
If I was Crazy, would I be listening to this?
439344
Yes.