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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just a small error I found.
Other than that it was mechanically well written. It's always good seeing a clopfic try to be more than just pornographic. But the drama between Dash and Rarity felt a little forced. And Sweetie Belle's reaction even more so. The story wouldn't suffer without it. Sweetie Belle's first heat should be convenient enough for the pairing to occur.
As for the clop itself, I can take or leave anal. I was more hoping that only one of them would be futa. Perhaps even one after the other. If you were looking to avoid the issue of pregnancy, most futa fics have the futa pony be sterile, regardless of the method (spell/ potion).
Either way, have a Like.
I'm just gonna, um...
No.
4800535 Fine by me. At least you heeded the warning.
4800539
Still gonna like just for the trouble.
4800541 Mein gott. You're wonderful.
Dude! Foalcon!? Really!? Awesomeness.
4800584 That name, though... following JUST because of that.
Oh, stories? Better get to gettin' with the readin' your stuff...
I LOVED IT!! you sir are Awesome
4800475 Ah, thanks for pointing out that little error. And thanks for the feedback. Now that you mention it, I see it.
This dislike on my comment makes me moist. .-,
*Keks*
Yet another! Full orgasm has been achieved.
A like? They've figured out my weakness...
4800673 I try to be.
But seriously, thanks. And your Scootaloo seems to enjoy it as well.
What is this I don't even.
Also, sequel?
4801145 It's called a thing that exists on FiMfiction along with quite a few others like it. Nothing special, really.
4801149 Hm, maybe. This got some good feedback from the community, so the next one-shot might be a sequel. It might be.
I'll be working a little more on my crossover first, though. Tis' my schedule. Crossover, then one-shot.
4801162The Dead Space crossover I assume?
4801174 Yes, that one. I work on one crossover at a time. The next one after the Dead Space one is done might be an AVP one.
4801186 Oh god yis X3
4800475 I'm gonna have to agree with this. This fic WAS a bit forced in romantic relationships. Just because RD and Rarity are in heat, and that RD had fell in love with Rarity a few minutes ago doesn't give RD and Sweetie Belle the right to lash out at her like that, even if RD deeply apologizes in the end. RD overreacted... and in turn so did Sweetie Belle. It didn't feel right... both RD and Rarity never considered mares... and things just escalated from there which was unnecessary. However; it COULD had worked if RD had secretly kept feelings for Rarity for years and then feel denied at that moment, and Sweetie Belle should had been more enlightened and smarter to not be so misjudging from the act that she saw before her. And another thing... love stamp on Rainbow Dash and Sweetie Belle from the moment they made contact... that makes things non-believable. You can't just go up to a person and say, "Hey there buddy, who has been my friend for years, I just want to say I love you because I just recently been harboring sincere intimate feelings towards you minutes ago and I want sex! Wanna have a go at it, m8?" It's like, 'Oh, want two people to fall in love for no apparent reason or any time development? POOF! There you go! True love!'. Overall, I believe that fic just stamped 'lesbian relationship' out of nowhere with no indication of both parties having mutual desires. Still, it was rather fine in my tastes. I would recommend going back and give more thought into their relationships, give them more character and purpose so it wouldn't feel so out of place or suddenly. Then after you've successfully done that, I would call this fic very decent.
4802328 And I agree with all of you. I had simply pushed myself in the AM for most of that part. I guess that hadn't been the smartest thing for me to do. I enjoyed writing this, which was all I cared about at that moment and time. I guess I could go in and revise it... the dislikes are coming in now, but I couldn't care less. Revising chapter sometime in the future. Where it's not in the AM. .-.
4802825 Well I think it's better for new viewers ya know.
Should have walked on when I saw kind of sort of lesbians, oh well it's not like it killed me. The stuff before the clop was pretty good, so thumbs up.
Good-ish. OPINION TIME!!!
Made me think of Grown Ups 2, with "I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE!"
Also,
Well that escalated quickly.
walked
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Rainbow
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Um ... so I have to know. Does Rainbow Dash make love to both of the sisters? Does Rares know of Dash and Sweets? And will she, her love [Dash] and the love of her life [Sweets] form a trinogamous affair? I'd love to see that.
Thunder is the Ponyville chad, even RD wanted him <3