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Hundreds of years have passed since the wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. As with all mortal life, Shining Armor was fated to die and his soul to pass from the world. But with magic, his end was averted. What price will his immortality demand?
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More please pretty pretty please?
This is absolutely beautiful. Wow. It's a vision of Equestria's future that's so vivid it seems almost canon, while at the same time being so heartbreaking.
It's not overly melodramatic, either--it even runs true to the show's tone, which somehow makes it even more tragic--it breaks down the wall between what we know to be canon and this reality. This is why I can't handle the thought of alicorn immortality: situations like this arise. 
I will be following this. And probably crying.
please sir, may i have some more?
More More More More More More pretty pretty pretty plaese
Hmm...
A disturbing as hell look at the old (im)mortality trope. I really hope we can get a clearer picture of Cadance at some point. She must be a little "gone" in the head for this. She has to know that Shining isn't truly happy. How has she convinced herself of this plan, and does she realize the selfish nature of it? Has the "Princess of Love" forgotten the selfless nature of it?
Damn fine work, and I can't wait for more.
Seems quite interesting. Can't wait to see which direction this fic goes, there's quite a few possibilities. Shining forces Cadence to move on and ends himself? Go on an adventure to get him a real body? Just suck it up and live in misery?
I know it's probably awkward for Twilight, but she could have at least carved a dick for him. It'd be like a strap-on! He's already living without any sense of feeling so what's one more? At least Cady would like it.
Love is wonderful, but it is never kind.
Woah bad ass Cadence for the win!
Holy shit.
I asked for a look at Cadance's mind... and you deliver like a damn freight train. Her pain and guilt, overshadowed only by her stubborn(petty?) refusal to give up and let go. The reaction at Lady Rose's comment hints at some kind of slowly growing mania or issue. I'm not saying she is going to go full Nightmare, but cracks are beginning to show in her facade. This cannot go on forever, and not because of Shining—a dutiful and loyal solider to the end, I have no doubt he would endure countless eons just to spare his wife a moment of pain—but because of Cadance.
Also, I admit that I giggled at the trademark symbol... which is a bad thing. This isn't the story for silly little touches like that. I would advise you delete it.
the crystal ponies’ outright worship of him may have faded a bit with the passing of generations, but that dragon is still very well regarded around these parts.
You think it would grow as the tales became more fantastic and Spike himself more impressive in appearance.
Also, the idea that hundreds of years later, that a unpleasant person can only have unpleasant descendants, REALLY has always rubbed me the wrong way, it's implying that DNA is what defines a person (and incarnation just means therefore there is no hope of people changing for the better).
You think Shining would fit right in, in a LAND of crystal ponies.
Does he still dream?
BBBCGFF? Big Brother Best Chrystal Golum Friend Forever. I wonder how much of the Empire's budget goes for Windex?
Uh oh. Cadence be cray cray
Honestly though, that was pretty rude thing to say. How is that any business of the nobility? What do they care, except for you know the usual, who gets their pawn to marry a princess and thus giving them status and connections. Disgusting.
Serene Alicorn Facetm
Heh.
So is Rose basically a hate sink? http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HateSink A character PROGRAMMED to be there just to be hated by the audience?
4804183
You really think Twily would be capable of that sort of thing, even on the off chance Cadence wanted it? She hasn't changed that much
4804978
I'm of the opinion that even the darkest stories need some humor, and this isn't even as grimdark as other pieces I've posted on this site.
4804987
As the euphoria of being free from Sombra's grip passed from memory to legend (because most everypony involved died), the hero worship Spike enjoyed became more academic than real emotional experience. They still revere him, but not so fervently as their ancestors.
Don't forget that we haven't actually seen either of the Blueblood twins DO anything yet. Shining's opinion of them is his own, and is undoubtedly colored by his negative experiences with their ancestor, and vice-versa.
The crystal ponies merely have a crystalline tinge to their coats. Shining is literally, visibly, an animated crystal statue. To many ponies, this basically necromancy with a pretty face, and Shining is a glorified lich in an unnatural union with their princess. It would not help at all if it were known where Twilight got her inspiration from.
You'll have to wait to see if he dreams. More will be revealed in future chapters.
4805051
'Tis their duty to see to the health of their princess. And the Royal House, should something... unfortunate befall her.
4805064
That depends on your point of view, but I will admit to modeling some of her personality on one particularly despised villainess:
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Lady-Tremaine-disney-villains-16283356-295-307_7915.jpg
4805401
True, but this is the wrong type of humor. Humor in a dark story should come from dialogue or be situational. The trademark symbol is more meta humor, a sort of fourth wall break, and it REALLY breaks the mood and draws the reader out of the scene.
4805607
The mood in which the joke takes place is a scene where Cadence is happily chatting with her distant grandchildren and nuzzling a cute baby pony. That part of the chapter is overall pretty lighthearted, meant as it is to show how Cadence copes with the results of her actions: self-confidence (in her ability to make Shining a new, more suitable body) and the literally supernatural connection she has to the mood of her subjects (pretty good, at present).
4805713
Again, true. However, again, you have to consider the tone of the story as a whole. This story is dark. What humor you have had has all come from dialogue and the character';s own jaded view of the situation. Then all of a sudden, you bust out this Scott Pilgrim-like meta goofiness. It's jarring, and takes the reader out.
Still, to each his own, I guess. Just politely suggesting that deleting that one little thing would help out.
4804987
Or, if you had been using a more logical mode of thinking, you would have first come to think the more likely reason. Not that passing on his genetics had anything to do with it. But simply that being raised as a Blueblood pretty much turns you into Blueblood. As he himself was no doubt raised. "We're better. We're noble. Blood lineage is everything. Anyone who is not equal or superior in lineage or rank is a pathetic mote beneath my hooves. Those only slightly lesser than my rank are still peons, but may be useful, so they warrant a fake smile until they are no longer of consequence." The common fare when you deal with a corrupt noble family's upbringing.
This is far more likely than his genetics simply being bad, but with as horrible as Blueblood tends to be in any non-redemption non-fanwank non-AU story, I wouldn't directly dismiss the idea that there's some defect in his bloodline that he passed on. ... Considering most humans of that sort of nobility were consistently inbred to begin with, that may not be far from the truth!
4805064
You make that sound like a bad thing. Not every corrupt bastard has a sob story or interesting history or grand intrigue. Plenty are just greedy and wanton and that's the end of it. If it can be that way in real life, what's the problem with it here? o-o
How sad, he puts it all on just for her.
Age begits wisdom as much as madness, and everyone handles it just a bit differently. Love, it seems, is not something that's meant to be eternal. If it were, it would not be so valuable. I can sense the rise of a new sort of villian here, and you deliver in spades. Well done, especially the world-building with the alicorn skeleton. I'm very impressed.
4806382
The same problem as with moe blobs. (see entry on page) http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Moe
4806865
I'm not a troper. Leads to too much over-thinking of things that don't even require analysis.
4807294
It means they're not so much a character with a personality that can evolve and grow, but a means of triggering an emotional response.
You can have a truly awful character without them being a hate sink.
Guys, could we wait until we're a little further than two chapters in before you start declaring characters flat, please? Rose Quartz does have more personality, but thus far has had only two scenes where she's even shown up. These first two chapters were to introduce Shining and Cadence and to show how they've been dealing with their new situations.
Another great chapter. Only complaint is that it is RACKS of bottles, not wracks.
4807495
Just because you can doesn't mean you're required to, or should. Nor does being this 'hate sink' (this is why I'm not a troper, it sounds like someone's devaluing a story and concept when they just reduce it to criticism memes) take away from the story. If the antagonist is not a focus of the story, giving them over the top fleshing-out actually cheapens the character and makes the story feel like it's just spitting out exposition on unimportant points. If the author feels like giving this particular antagonist a larger role, then maybe he'll flesh it out. If not, it works perfectly fine as-is for the story. Wait and see.
4807948
The point is, is when such techniques reduced a character to a prop, this is fine for characters who are just there for scenery, but a character who actually has a ROLE in the story? It's like having a prop used for crowd scenery being in the foreground.
And the bigger point? Is that it took me OUT OF the story, instead of drawing me DEEPER into the story. It reminds me of the 'sad rock' my first grade class had.
Also, it's part of why Diamond Tiara is a poorly used character, in the Call Of The Cutie, she was Every Bully, as she was designed to be, a 1-D antagonist for Applebloom to externalize her problems. But once she began making repeat appearances, the writers only able to have her keep making impact by making her a WORSE pony each time, but ultimately still a 1-D villain, it created a uncanny valley effect (that's an actual term BTW, it refers to when similar is almost like something, but not quite like something, making it feel unnatural, compared to something that is not like something, but has a few traits that are, and thus making it endearing), that she's been a static character with repeated major appearances in story in a cartoon that CENTERS around character development, makes her stick out like a sore thumb and draws me out of enjoying the show.
Apologies if that too far off topic, but they don't feel NATURAL to me in story where I spot them.
4807542
OH! SORRY! Didn't see this message! Sorry!
4808167
Then it's less a technical problem, which was where I took issue. You made it sound like this story was failing due to your problem with the particular antagonist. Which I was prepared to list as many stories as I could find where they do not develop every character with a role simply because they are a character with a role, and both the flow and story experience prosper for it. Instead this is a personal pet peeve, which I do not have a problem with. We all have things that jar our immersion or just things that get under our skin, and it varies wildly between each of us.
Now that i understand what you meant, I retract my objection. I still don't agree, but I'm not you - my peeves are different, and extremely specific. So this is completely A-OK.
I wonder if the voice is really Shining's subconscious or something more sinister? Sombra's spirit maybe? Living in Shining and subtly influencing the situation until he has a shiny new Alicorn body to take over?
Please do make more chapters I do quite like them. Ok goofy noble speech aside make no chappies plz
:) I like de chappy
More cracks are starting to form. This cannot continue...
... I was caught off guard.
I'm waiting for the tragic tag. You all know it's coming.
Celestia either convinced of her own righteousness, potentially with Luna and even Twilight backing her up, either convince Shining to accept death or take matters into their own hooves just as Cadence makes a breakthrough to actually reunite Shining with a more 'living' condition, even if not technically mortal.
For once i want celestia to be wrong. Infallibility is not a good quality to have in a character in my opinion.
4807668
Fixed.
4808171
'Tis alright.
4808954
It is a mystery.
Well, except to me.
4810829
Celestia certainly agrees with that.
4810906
Good to hear I got the desired reaction.
4811011
Maybe. Maybe not.
Soon we did everything together
He taught me how to fly a kite
He grew old but we were immortal
I solved this unfortunate plight
Now he's a walking crystal statue
And she's an alicorn princess
I think some ponies might not like it
But we agree it's for the best
Plants. Huh. I'll keep that in mind.
To steal a phrase -
Well....that escalated quickly.
The plot thickens. I'm really interested in hearing more about Cadance's experiments.
Was Celestia accidentally blocking Cadence's way and thus mistaken for a minotaur? Or was she speaking with Rose Quartz?
If the latter, hoping you don't turn Celestia into a serious antagonist. It's so cliche these days to have her become darn near villainous and label it 'doing the right the thing', so that the principle authority figure is pretty much always doing wrong in the name of good. With how long she's lived and how experienced she is, there's no way she can be that short-sighted. Experience trumps being set in one's ideals and ways.
If the former, her rump's not minotaur-sized! Rude. D:
Keep 'em comin'!
4816324
She was speaking to Rose Quartz.
>> Secret_Brony What would Sombra do with the alicorn magic? I mean that in a good way.
4816780
Puttin' some faith on you, then.
4817922
Have I let you down yet?
4817982
Nope! And that's why you've earned faith.
This whole eternal life thing really is an impossible question.
4824192 Eeyep