Cloud Hop
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The penis of legend has returned!
*24's levels of doneness intensify*
3sexy5me
Terrible title, good story. This is how you do random.
The burnt-out sex scene was a great gag.
Pure genius! I could not stop laughing!
I love it!
COULD THE LEGEND OF THE GIANT WILLY BE TRUE?!
That was golden lol.
Oh dear god you actually did it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
This is absolutely glorious.
Upon reading this line: Instant favorite. Instant follow. Amazing story! Impressive attention to detail!
After reading your other works, this was so out of left field I had to make sure this is your work. And then I laughed.
This story was so absurd it turned out to be genius. You threaded a thin line between funny and tiring, slipping a few times here and there, but some of the parts were amazing and I was happy no one was around to hear me wail in laughter like a donkey suffering asthma.
The up to downvote ratio is currently bullshit, but oh well
Some people can't appreciate an honest joke.
5077344
This was intended to be a completely absurd sex comedy, but after seeing the upvote/downvote ratio I think I'll stick to teen rated fics from now on.
5077341
That is the greatest sentence I have ever written in my life
5077351
Nah, as I said, don't worry about them. This was definitely something freshly absurd, written in a tasteful manner with many interesting jokes.
Besides, if you enjoyed writing it, that's all that matters
3/4 of my stories never even got that far, and it felt good writing them anyway.
5077351
No! The world needs more clopfics from a writer of your caliber!
I am going to upvote this for the title alone. Then I am going to read it and likely favourite it because your writing is awesome and there is a reason I am following you.
EDIT:
I was right. It was glorious.
Okay, for the record, I was not expecting that part near the end. Your story was literally too hot for FiMFiction to handle!
Take my upvote, favorite, and follow, for you have earned it! And don't let the ratio get you down, man. Let's face it, most of those are probably people who are downvoting on concept and/or can't take a joke. It's a typical thing to happen to some (often decent) clop writers-- unless you happen to be TittySparkles, in which case you can expect upvotes galore and a near-guaranteed feature box position...
I'd provide any constructive feedback, but honestly, I'm still reeling from the sheer, unashamed absurdity of it. I freakin' loved it. And I rarely upvote clopfics, so... well, these lines sum up my feelings pretty well:
Keep it up!
This magnificently amusing piece of work is yet another example why one should not judge a story solely based on its rating
A meagre 3:1 ratio for this literary masterpiece?! Blasphemy!
5077353
Psst! I think you meant prostrate, not prostate. Prostate is the gland, prostrate means stretched out face down. ^^
I don't even anything!
You make it sound so easy. And for Commander Hurricane, it is. No one can deny his girth.
Is this a crack fic?
I feel so broken. I can't speak. I think I know what Twilight felt like by the time she was 'dropped off' at Ponyville.
THIS IS THE GREATEST CLOP IN THE HISTORY OF CLOPDOM!
This doesn't even COUNT as clop. Commander Hurricane calls it a FUCK ME fic. This fic fucks your brain and makes it climax in literary pleasure every line.
I actually watched Rainbow Dash and Commander Hurricane have sex. The sheer brilliance of the act and two most perfect bodies meet for the very first time, the waves of pleasures that resonated through my being as I stared into that which cannot be described in these inferior words, I became one with them, I could see the future of every unborn and the thousands of unborns their unborns would have and watched the very last fuck of the very last ponies before the end of life itself came.
Having my mind and spirit ravaged by the pleasures they experiences would change my life and no mare or stallion would ever sate me in any sexual way after this day. This marvelous day.
This is the story this site was made for. This is PERFECTION.
Thank you. The ungrateful heathens who have desecrated upon this monument of fictional orgasmic perfection shall no not pleasure as their poor excuse of man or womanhood shall shrivel and die, their penis shall retreat within and unmake itself, their vaginal canal shall run forever dry and would make dessert sand a welcome feel within them over the course and chipped dryness and pain they shall feel with every step.
Write on, Great One. The Temple of Cloud Hop was born this day.
When I read empatha I immediately asked myself if this was part of the Price of Loyalty universe. Then I read the author’s note.
…
Anyway, as 5077524 said, you meant prostrate, not prostate.
prostate, noun
A gland surrounding the neck of the bladder in male mammals and releasing a fluid component of semen.
prostrate, adj.
1. Lying stretched out on the ground with one’s face downwards: ‘there was a man praying before an idol, lying prostrate’
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/538/088/081.gif
5077788 Ahem.
What they said
A stallion version of Commander Shephard.
I really hope the OC in this wasn't the writer. Otherwise I'll have to say your ego is way worse than mine man.
Other than that, highly exaggerated awesomeness and randomness. 10/10 for the comedy. I like it when people take the piss out of clop from time to time. Good for a laugh. I applaud you, writer. Have a Follow for the laughs you've given me
I'm insane.
I've never seen a fic try so hard to be funny and fail so badly at it.
This deserves to be put in a museum.
Some say . . .
That he can turn a filly into a mare merely by walking through a room she's standing in . . .
And that his cock once won a war.
All we know is . . .
He's Commander Hurricane!
Fukken faved.
They're so often violated by Pinkie that they don't even have time for RD's shit...
I think they'd want to practice with his sword too...
5077989
Do you even show?
Looks like Jack Harkness to me! HAIL THE HARKNESS, FOR HE IS THE SEXIEST!
25.media.tumblr.com/dcbcc399875d813308717f24ba9b42ed/tumblr_mfk56oW7pK1r8f79so6_1280.png
This...... was awesome
Wtf xD
headcanon accepted
This is funny....because on MLPForums people knew me as Commander Hurricane.
Absolutely crazy. If anyone ever plays Commander Hurricane in a humanized bio-pic, it will have to be Chuck Norris. I especially liked the burned page in the middle.
One nit to pick: "it's" is a contraction of "it is", whereas the possesive of "it" is "its".
Great story!
hehe, 69.
oi59.tinypic.com/2s8l25e.jpg
5078478
Agreed. The burnt page was the best part. How did you do that exactly?
yeep!
I guess you could say the Commander went to the future and rocked it
*puts on sunglasses*
like a hurricane
i have no idea what the fuck i just read
O.O write more!!!!!!!
5078172
5078562
I exploited the SVG file format by having it render text that was the same font, size, and line break height as the website. Then I embedded a transparent PNG over that text and linked to the SVG image from the story. It doesn't work if the page size gets too small (the current SVG specification does not include a portable way to wrap text arbitrarily), but so long as the SVG gets rendered at 100% width, the web browser will use the exact same text rendering function that it uses for the HTML. This results in a seamless overlay, even if your computer has different hinting settings, because it's actually rendering the text as vectors, not as an image.
Fun fact: SVGs are XML files. If you open it in notepad, you can read the placeholder text I wrote that's hidden beneath the burnt out part.
Since there's nothing productive or constructive to say about this masterpiece, I'll just leave a like and a favourite.
i.imgur.com/X4cfirG.png
This was the most hilarious Clop epic I've ever read.
5078946
That is really clever. I thought you just embedded a flat image. Can you PM me more info, steps, or the coding? I would love to try it.
Last one I remember like it was Apple Bloom's letters to Santa.
Hm, I expected Twilight to simply rip his dick off and strangle him with it. But it was so much more interesting than that.