John Allen Hammer (Don't call him Jack, please...) had a cruddy life.
And then he was brought to Equestria.
That doesn't mean that it is any less cruddy, though...
Now it's just pastel shades of cruddy.
Cruddy with ponies-ponies-ponies everywhere.
This is going to be just fan-freakin'-tastic.
Page generated in 0.084 seconds
Total duration
779 users online
789,024 hits today, 2,328,677 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Very good start! Can't for the next chapter!
I could barely read the first paragraph, so I definitely couldn't get invested into the story.
Nor will I try to.
This could be one of the best stories ever written, but how would anyone be able to tell with the terrible format. Don't strain your reader's eyes to read YOUR story, it's disrespectful. Seek a proofreader, any caliber will do, and have them go over this again. They'll be able to help you and keep you from any future mistakes. Or just space it out yourself, it's up to you. Either way get it fixed!
4982631 Redacted
4982743
I could care less if you believe that I am a qualified source for critiquing fanfiction, moreover, the problem that I'm having is actually reading your story. Nothing else.
Anyways, this is how your story appears to readers:
Even in that excerpt it's difficult to understand.
This is what it should look like:
See how everything is properly spaced out? This way we can actually get invested in to what the characters are saying.
ayyy lmaoo
If it was readability you were going for, I've got some bad news for you.
4984096 There, now...see how easy that was, how specific you were?
Essentially, what you're telling me is that the single-spacing isn't cutting it.
4984165 Yes.
4984171 Hmmm...odd...I could've sworn I doublespaced it...
(Tries again)
This is odd...even in GoogleDocs, it isn't keeping the spacing in the transfer over here...
Gimme a few minutes (lest you have any suggestions?)
4984171 Well, that was inconvenient...it doesn't carry your formatting over...goodie...
I want to apologize (in public forum--I can eat crow when I must) about the fact that I was an ass to you. In my defense, you did come off slightly high-handed, elitist, and rude with the way you phrased your critique, but that is no excuse for the way I handled my anger with you.
Also, thank you for telling me about the problem--I honestly didn't think my doublespacing would be scrubbed in transition.
I do apologize and hope you forgive me.
Love the poetry! Great start to a story...I'm eager to see what's next for our "creature".
Yey!!!!!!
R.I.P teapot
Chapter 2-Chapter 2
And we all assume humans were in equestria and they were the most hated/chaotic beings, EVER.
wow, how'd you guess that? With as much sarcasm can put into that sentence.
Sarcasm is the best form of humor!!!
Very much true.
5211330 (chuckles) Noooot quite, friend. Not quite.
5211786 Oooooh, so there IS history with Equestrians and humans, or they just know of humans? Interesting....
Hmmmm.... something is afoot here, some things better be explained.
Oooooooooooooohhh!! I love secrecy! NO SPOILERS!!
Yes, this is very foreboding to possibly exciting future chapters, we will be sure to not leave this story.
more pls this is very coool
😐😐
I have now read these words, shame that there doesn't appear to be more.