A few months after the defeat of the dark king, Shining Armor had a few nightmares in his sleep only to find out that it wasn't a nightmare, but something even more scary.
Something he thought would never happen began unfolding in his very sleep.
Author's Note: The picture was taken from a tumblr page, and I didn't bother finding out who it was owned by (I guess I should get on that.) If the owner wants their art to be removed, I will remove it. I thought of a story with it hence why it is the picture of choice for this story that is all.
Edited by Ernest Wood
I would also like to thank Skeeter The Lurker and Dark Avenger for prereading the chapter which is now chapters.
Chapters (3)
Maybe I'm just tired, but I read this paragraph a few times and it just didn't click for me.
I'm assuming that the meaning was something along the lines of, "He would often consider asking for help from his dear little sister, but the thought of disturbing her from her royal duties to help with something that was only a minor problem would show Twilight that he wasn't as brave as she thought he was." (Of course, ignore this if it's just me being an idiot and misinterpreting something.)
Roles seems a bit clunky, here. How about duties, instead?
Bestowed, perhaps?
Again, this just seems clunky to me. How about, "It took the shape of something Shining Armor had not expected to see in his wildest dreams."?
Don't really need that bit, especially as its repetition from the previous sentence.
... much of a thing ...
You can do nothing to stop me, colt.
Protect/Defend, maybe? I realise it's a nit-pick, but just because of the repetition of Guardian and Guard.
Have to say, I rather enjoyed this. Of course, Sombra is one of those villains who badly needs development, so I'm interested to see where this goes, and whether Shining is gone for good.
5046197 Thank you for the insight. Much appreciated.^^ Put in most of the replacements already too.
Although I quite enjoy the idea, Shining Armor, I feel, is simply not the right pony to become evil. Not only has he been captain of the Royal Guard (and wanted to be since he was little) But he almost died many times to protect Cadence, and later his Empire. He'd already be forever remembered as the one who helped defeat Chrysalis and has unwavering respect from the troops. I don't know, that's just my two cents on it.
Interesting premise, but I personally think that Blueblood or some other disliked pony is a better fit than Shining Armor.
This is an interesting idea. I always like the idea of villains exploiting the heroes to turn them evil. I await how this will turn out.
A couple of issues though. While there are the grammar issues, nothing to major, I did think the very beginning exposition did not flow quite as well as it could. A lot of tell and not a lot of show. Plus, Sombra refers to himself as a villain when I think it might have been better for him to either simply not compare himself to other villains or tried to legitimize his ambitions.
I like the idea of a hero falling to darkness and becoming the villian, which is where I thought this was going. Then it turns into Sombra controlling Shining. It's nice, but it doesn't seem very inventive. The good and bad is black and white. If Sombra actually kept trying to break down Shining and convince him his(Sombra's) ideas are the right way, I would certainly enjoy it. As it stands, I may read the next chapter to see where it goes, but for now I'm not very interested in the plot itself.
And Shining never thought to ask Luna for help? Luna never sensed his nightmares? Shining never thought to have his horn examined after the ordeal?
This is a great start to the story, IF Sombra can actually win.....I would like to see it continue in that vein
Thanks for the update. Wow. I guess now Sombra is back with vengeance.
5331955 True.
This is awesome!
I didn't comment on it before becauseI was sure if i should read this or not. Mainly I hate it when there are fanfic's with the word 'Dark' in it, well some of them, not all of them, anyways Good Work, LoneUnicornWriter.
Holy Sh*t! Not good at ALL!!!!
Oh hell! There is going at least some fight scene later on in the chapters and I can't wait to see/read them! Good Luck on the later chapters LoneUnicornWriter!
5424928 Thank you for taking time to read my chapters. I really appreciate your feedback very much.
5424951 Your Welcome!
(Shining Armor is one of my Favorites by the way. 
)
Found a repeated line.
Another repeat.
Still good though. I look forward to more.
5431743
5431707 Fixed, and thank you for taking the time to read. :) I have just add one more chapter before going on into the next part of this story.
Hello:
I have really been enjoying your story, and I hope you will continue. I admit to apprehension, most people will find SOME reason for Sombra to lose, part of that is making Sombra so repugnant that well people WANT to see him lose. It woudl be nice to see..just once, a Sombra SUCCESS story. I'd like to see what he WOULD do.
I also admit to a very small disappointment that Sombra did not Seduce Cadence while in Shining Armor's form. While he may be a ruthless dictator It doesn't seem he would be beyond the enjoyment of a pretty filly, I am not asking you to go "X-rated" if that's not yer thing, but it could have implied what happened.
I was encouraged to see Sombra's plan working so FAR, especially what he did to the Crystal heart.
i continue to watch for your stories and I hope my comments were not out of line.