Spike
There were seven of them. Six-and-a-half, really. High-backed, clean stone chairs arranged in a circle. Thrones, in form and function. One for Twilight and each of her five best friends, each adorned with the cutie-mark of its intended occupant.
No doubt in the weeks and months to come, Twilight and her friends would have lots of serious, important, funny and crazy times gathered here, together.
Spike sat in the centre of the circle, quietly hugging his knees to his chest, and simply stared at the seventh.
It was all wrong. Only half as large as the rest and its back blank; unmarked by a symbol he didn't possess. A pointless addition, looking freakish next to Twilight's throne, and a blight on the otherwise perfect symmetry of the room.
All wrong.
It didn't belong in that circle.
But there it was nonetheless, so he'd be there too. He'd just keep quiet while they did their thing. Make notes or something. Stay out of the way. Clean up after.
He sighed, his breath turning to vapour in the dry, cold air of the castle, and when he blinked, he distantly felt a wet streak caress his cheek.
The room would look a lot better without that throne.
There was a distant, echoing bang from somewhere behind him. The door to the palace opening and falling shut again; the sound carried along the hollow, empty corridors. Then more echoes, this time a series of clip-clops as though half-a-dozen coconuts had been split in two and were being tap-tapped together, getting closer.
Spike remained still, hugged his knees a little tighter, and could do nothing but stare. He wanted to belong here. To be wanted here. But the more he looked at that chair—the more he saw how different it was to the others—it made a sad mockery of that idea.
Although he could hear the hoofsteps getting closer, he didn't really make the connection that they were approaching him until they stopped. Then Applejack stepped into his view and sat in front of him, worried sympathy on her face. He felt a little concerned pang and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. Couldn't help but want to help. She might not think him a real friend but he still wanted to help, even now.
"Spike, sugarcube? Can we talk for a spell?"
Sensing the requirement for conscious action, Spike's trance slowly faded and more normal cognitive functions asserted themselves. His eyes focussed properly and he blinked several times. He wiped his face with his claws to discover his cheeks were coated with some kind of wet, ever-so-slightly sticky moisture. He looked up at Applejack, and around at Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie all stood surrounding him. Then his eyes found the thrones just beyond each of them, ready for use.
"Oh, right," he said. "Sure, go ahead. I'll leave you guys to it." He stood and started to walk away in what he hoped carried the appearance of his normal, confident stride.
Applejack's mouth opened and she missed a beat before shaking her head and trying again. "To you, Spike. We wanna talk to you." She smiled. "Please?"
"Uh... okay," said Spike hesitantly. It felt like he was in trouble or something. He took a step backwards and found himself bumping into the short, ugly, didn't-belong-in-this-room throne. His throne. He hopped up onto the seat without really thinking, shrinking awkwardly back into the foreign chair and finding the stone underneath him cold, hard and rough. The five ponies arrayed before him looked on in worry and sympathy.
Then Rainbow Dash flapped over and, without warning, wrapped her hooves around him and gently picked him up. "Nah, you were good where you were," she said, plopping him down softly back in the middle of the room, the smooth floor still warm from where he had earlier sat.
"Spike? I'm sorry. We all are..." began Applejack to several accompanying nods from the others. She looked like she was about to elaborate, but didn't get the chance because suddenly, Pinkie Pie.
She leaped at Spike and desperately wrapped her hooves around him in a crushing, suffocating hug. "SPIKEI'MSOSORRYITWASTHECAKE'SFAULT!" she half-screamed, half-cried, her face scrunching with the effort.
"P—Pinkie?!" Spike gasped. "C—can't breathe...! You g—otta l—let go!"
She released him and he fell onto his back on the floor with a thud. He sat himself up, a little dizzy from lack of oxygen, and saw that Pinkie looked guilty, her lower lip trembling as though she'd done something awful. It was hard to look at. Why were they all so upset?
Rarity finally brought some order to the proceedings. "Spike? I fear that our behaviour towards you today has been much less than a true friend should be entitled to expect, and... and..." She met his gaze and her voice became softer and more personable. "And we're all so, so sorry Spikey. For how we've treated you."
Fluttershy took a step towards him and dipped her head. "I'm really sorry if I made you feel like you weren't a friend, Spike. I don't know what I did wrong," she said honestly. "But I hope you can forgive me. I'd still like to be friends. If... if you want to."
Spike found himself stifling tears, and had to take a long, shaky breath. "Aw, Fluttershy, don't be silly. You didn't do anything wrong." He looked around at the ponies. "None of you did. You were just yourselves. I don't want you to apologise for that. There's nothing to forgive, guys. It's okay," he finished, a little hollowly.
"It's not okay!" said Dash. "Look at you, Spike. Right now you're more down in the dumps than a... uh... a... okay, never mind!" Then her face and voice softened too, and she stepped up close to him. "Come on, buddy. What's wrong?"
"Spike? Please, talk to us. There ain't nothin' you can't say," Applejack reassured. "We're yer friends."
"Are you?" Spike heard himself reply automatically. He bit his tongue. It had just slipped out. He hadn't meant it to. He'd meant to play it cool. Act like nothing was wrong. Play the cheery sort as usual. Seeing his friends wince with guilt at his question sent daggers through him, and he wanted nothing more than to smile and tell them to chill. Everything was cool. No sweat.
But... well, he’d committed himself now.
He took a deep breath. Okay then.
"It's just... I really like you guys. I mean, I care about you, just as much as Twilight does. But... I get it, y'know? She's your best friend and I'm... I'm just lucky I get to spend time with you. I guess I thought I might be your friend too." He needed another, shakier breath. "But... I'm not. I don't know if it's because I'm a dragon. Or because I'm a boy. Maybe I'm still too young or it's something else, but it's just different for me, isn't it? I'm not your friend like Twilight is. I'm just..." He turned and looked at the Throne-That-Didn't-Belong, his composure gone and tears running anew. "Just... a friend of a friend." He sounded pathetic, even to his own ears. His gaze found his feet, and he stood with his back to the ponies. He wasn't angry with them. He loved them and always would. It just... didn't work the other way was all. No big deal.
"Well, duh! Of course you are!" said Pinkie Pie.
Spike's ears perked in spite of himself. He glanced around to see the other four ponies looking horrified at Pinkie, and Pinkie looking innocently confused back at them. "Don't you get it?" she asked the room in general. Then Pinkie pointed a hoof at Applejack, but she fixed Spike's gaze and spoke directly to him. "You are a friend of a friend." She moved her hoof onwards towards Rainbow Dash. "And a friend of a friend of a friend." Next was Rarity. "And a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend." And finally Fluttershy. "Aaaand... so on." She beamed at him. "It doesn't matter how many friends there are in the middle. You're still a friend, silly." She lowered her voice and it became the unusually soft, sweet intonation that she used when she found occasion to be serious. "Besties forever, Spike. How could we not be?"
"Because I don't do anything?" Spike reluctantly protested, a little sniffle in his nose. It was nice of the girls to try and make him feel better. But it was just a kind façade. A thin veneer of compassion. Not true friendship. Not for him. Why would they even want that?
"I just get in the way, don't I? I mess things up. You'd all be no worse off if I'd never even come to Ponyville. Why would you ever need a friend like me?" he finished quietly.
There was a short silence before Applejack spoke up. "You're absolutely right, Spike. I don't need a friend like you." He felt her walk up close behind him, and her voice became soft. "But, that ain't how friendship works, is it?"
He looked over his shoulder at her to see her smiling kindly for an instant. Then her face became more serious and her tone hardened. "I need Filthy Rich to buy a hundred jars of Zap Apple Jam this week, or the barn roof ain't gettin' fixed this side o' winter. And yet, somehow... he ain't one o' my best friends," she said, tapping a contemplative hoof on her chin. Then back came the smile and the soft voice. "You ain't my friend because I need you to be, Spike. You're my friend because I want you to be." Her smile became just the kindest, warmest expression. "You an’ me are always gonna be friends. Y'hear?" There were four assenting voices from behind her. "And as for you, 'not doin' anything'?" she said, and put a gentle hoof on his shoulder. Carefully, she turned him around to face her, and he could see what looked like the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "You saved my life, Spike. I'd call that doin' something. And don't you go thinkin' I'm ever gonna forget it."
"Uh... mine too, I think," piped up Rainbow Dash.
"Ooh! Ooh! And mine!" squeaked Pinkie Pie. "Like when you stopped all those buffalo from squishing us, remember?"
"And who cares if you mess things up sometimes?" continued Dash. "Do you know how many times I've messed up? A lot!" Several sets of eyes stared at her. Dash winced and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof. "Okaaaay, not doing my rep a whole lotta good here, but it's true. The point is..." She trailed off. "Aw, ponyapples, I forgot where I was going with that. It was good too," she muttered.
Rarity glanced at Dash and cleared her throat. "You were about to say that it doesn't matter if Spike makes the odd mistake, because nopony is perfect. And no matter what may happen, we will always love him for being the selfless, brave, and noble friend we know he is."
Dash blinked, then looked at Rarity. "Was I really going to say 'love'?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes you were," confirmed Rarity with a grin.
"I think we're really lucky you came to Ponyville, Spike," said Fluttershy with a proud smile. "You really do come through for all of us when we need help. And we're sorry if we never told you how much we appreciate it."
"Guys... I..." Spike tried, but tears were flowing freely now. The back of his throat was all choked up with something and so was his nose. It was all too much. "I dunno what to say."
"That's okay, Spike," said Fluttershy, drawing close to him. Then she slowly reached out her forehooves and wrapped them round him, pulling him into a soft, gentle hug. Then Rarity joined in. Then Applejack. Then Pinkie Pie, who at first threatened to crush them all. Then—
"That's how we're doing this? A group hug?"
"Dash, get in here!" snapped Applejack.
"Whoa, okay."
—Then Rainbow Dash.
...Who, for her token protest, seemed to be squeezing equally as hard as the others.
It was like being wrapped up in pure love and joy. In the back of his mind there was the vague thought that he, a butch, handsome, manly dragon, shouldn't really enjoy a hug this much. But that thought was quickly squashed because... well, it just felt awesome. All his friends—the ponies he cared about most in the world—really did care about him too. For the first time, the remaining days until Twilight was due back didn't seem so—
"Come on guys! Can't we come in yet?" It was a faint voice, echoing about halfway up the corridor. It sounded like... Apple Bloom?
"I thought we told y'all to stay outside!" hollered Applejack.
"Um... maybe?"
"But then we'll miss the hug!" complained... Sweetie Belle?
"Okay, come on down then," said Applejack.
There came the echoing clopping of a trio of small, galloping hoofbeats approaching at a rather phenomenal pace and then, just as Spike managed to get a look beyond the many legs and bodies in the midst of which he found himself, he glimpsed an excited Apple Bloom launching herself at the pile of hugging ponies.
There were two soft impacts, and the cuddle pressure increased subtly.
"Ugh, really?" protested Scootaloo's voice from nearby. "Can't we just—?"
"Scootaloo, get in here!" snapped Apple Bloom.
The pressure increased subtly one final time.
And the room wasn't so cold anymore.
* * *
The hug broke up. It couldn't last forever after all, but there were happy smiles all round. They began to chat amongst themselves, friends talking to friends.
Spike found Rarity standing a little way off from the group, just outside the circle of stone chairs, and realised he'd never get a better chance to say it.
"Rarity? Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Why of course, Spike," she said. Then, more softly, "Always."
"It's just... I mean since I'm being honest about how I feel and everything... with you there's always been... I mean I've always felt... well... I lov—"
He was cut off by Rarity's hoof shushing his lips. He realised he hadn't been able to look at her while he was speaking, but he looked up now, to see her smiling a friendly, sympathetic smile.
She sat, taking their dialogue just behind the back of one of the thrones.
"I know, Spike," she whispered, and as he watched he thought he saw a tear come to her eye. "But you were right. You're a little too young for that, aren't you? You're still a baby dragon after all." Rarity took her eyes off him and gazed upwards somewhere. "Oh, I had so many crushes when I was your age," she said wistfully. "I grew out of most of them."
"But it's not a—!" he began to protest, but Rarity's hoof found his mouth quite expertly once more.
"Pinkie Pie was right too," Rarity continued and her stunning blue eyes fixed his gaze again. "Forever, Spike. I'm not going anywhere. If you still feel the same way once you have a few more years under your belt, well... I'll still be here." She gave him a nuzzle and a wink. Then she was on her hooves again, making to rejoin the group. Just as she rounded the back of the throne she tossed her mane and glanced back at him. "Don't take too long growing up though, Spike. Don't you know? It's terrible to keep a lady waiting." Then she rounded the throne and out of his sight. The spell was broken, but he found himself smiling all the same.
One day, when he was ready, she would give him the chance. He figured that was one of the most generous things she'd ever done for him. But for now and the foreseeable future... friends. Real, true, close friends. He figured he could live with that, as he came back to the group himself.
As he rounded the throne, he practically stumbled into the trio of foals to whom he hadn't really had a chance to speak as yet.
The Crusaders' conversation halted and as one they stood before him, regarding him with friendly smiles.
"We just wanted to say we're really glad you're feeling better, Spike," said Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle nodded, while Apple Bloom signalled her agreement with a, "Yeah."
"Thanks, guys," he said. "I appreciate it."
"Oh, you don't need to thank us," said Sweetie Belle, still smiling. "It was the least we could do after all."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Uh... what was the least you could do?" Then the lightbulb in his head snapped on. "You mean...? Is everyone here right now because you guys told them to come?"
The Crusaders' expressions suddenly ranged from shocked to horrified, and three voices answered at once.
"No!" cried Apple Bloom.
"Of course not!" protested Scootaloo.
"Not... really!" said Sweetie Belle, which earned her a couple of quick glares from the others.
Apple Bloom took a breath and guiltily met Spike's gaze. "Spike... it ain't like that. Really, it ain't. It's just, when we saw you on the bridge earlier, you looked so sad."
"It was horrible seeing you like that, and we wanted to do everything we could to try and help," Sweetie Belle added.
"But, the way you walked off... well it was pretty obvious you didn't feel like you could talk to us about it..." said Scootaloo, disappointedly.
"So we went to get the ponies we knew ya could talk to," finished Apple Bloom. "Your friends."
"No-one's here because of us. Everyone's here because they wanted to help, including us," said Scootaloo.
"We're your friends too, Spike," said Sweetie Belle with a happy smile. "We hope you know that."
Spike smiled back. Then it was his turn to look guilty and he met their gaze. "Guys? About the bridge earlier? I shouldn't have just walked off like that. It was rude, and you didn't deserve that. It wasn't that I felt like I couldn't talk to you about it. It was more like I didn't think anyone wanted to listen. I was so convinced no-one wanted me for a friend... that I didn't even notice the only three ponies who took the time to come talk to me all day. I'm really sorry." He looked at each of them in turn, his eyes threatening tears yet again. "I know we're friends, guys. And I'm really glad we are," he beamed.
"Awww," said Sweetie Belle, welling up.
"Us too," said Apple Bloom happily.
"We're not hugging again," said a resolute Scootaloo. Then her face turned plaintiff and her voice dropped to a strangled whisper. "Pleeeaase Spike. Rainbow Dash is right there!"
Spike grinned. "Okay, okay." Then, in lieu of another hug he raised his right arm and clenched his claw, holding it out to the Crusaders.
Three hooves struck his claw simultaneously with a firm bump.
Yeah, they were great friends.
By now the light of the day had faded, and dusk had claimed the world. Soon the moon would rise and signal the onset of the night, and the ponies he called friends—that he knew as friends—would retire to their homes until the new day.
He sighed softly.
"Somethin' up, sugarcube?" asked Applejack with a smile, coming over to him.
He looked up. "Hmm? Not really. I guess it's just... this big empty castle doesn't really feel like home yet, and I'm kinda stuck here by myself until Twilight gets back." He gave a little resigned shrug. There was nothing to be done after all. Time was the only cure.
Applejack seemed to consider something for a moment, her hoof thoughtfully rubbing her chin again. "Y'know,' she said, "It ain't like Granny Smith or Big Mac are expectin' me home. And it is awful dark out now." She smiled down at him. "Mind if I crash here tonight?"
There was a zipping sound, and suddenly Apple Bloom was right next to her older sister, stood at attention. "Me too!"
"A slumber party? It has been a while," said Rarity.
"Aw, guys," said Spike, blushing. "You don't have to—"
"Well I'm not leaving," said Dash firmly. "It's raining."
Pinkie looked to the nearest window. "Don't be silly, Dashie. It's not raining!"
"Pinkie, trust me. If anypony leaves here right now, it's gonna start raining really heavily."
"Well we're not gonna risk getting rained on!" said a happy Scootaloo, a grinning Sweetie Belle at her side. "We'd better stay too."
"Spike?" asked Fluttershy quietly. "Would it... be okay if I stayed over tonight? It's just... it's a long way home and I think it might rain."
Tears started flowing again, and Spike's mood lifted for what felt like the tenth time that day.
Home was much, much more than just the building you lived in wasn't it? Home was where your friends were. Where you shared your time with the people you loved. Where you laughed. Where you cried. And where you were happiest. And this castle...
It was starting to feel a lot more like home already.
* * * The End * * *
I hope to see a sequel to this where Spike gets his chance with Rarity lol
Does that count as a friend zone?
This was AWESOME! It made me cry, but it was really sweet an well written. Good job!
Nice job really cute
Well, I'm glad they finally talked. Now, Twilight just needs to get home. Oh look, an epilogue with her name on it, literally. Time to read it.
5034632
Maybe temporarily?
This needs to be an actual episode. :P
5037585 I rarely agree with comments like this, but I really do feel like this could be a very valuable episode.
5034632 I don't think it counts as friendzone when its cause he's a baby, and she'll give him a shot when he's older.
Freindzone is when you're rejected strictly because she doesn't want to risk a relationship in case it ruins a friendship.
The resolution was nice but what irked me was that the problems of "They don't notice you, listen to you, need you, treat you differently, spend time with you" problems from last chapter were resolved on the Mane 5s side but not Spike's side. Instead, for him it was the usual "I get in your way and mess everything up" spiel that people tend to use. Fluttershy will never know exactly what she did, just that she hurt Spike in some way. It could could have been nice to see that from Spike's side.
Ah well. That's just me though. Great work
That was flawless. Absolutely flawless. Some cynical part of me keep expecting some random mistake to break the magic of the story, but it never did. It's stories like this that really make fan fiction an art. The emotions felt real, they fit into the world of ponies, and I loved every second of it.
Congratulations, you've earned yourself another follow. Rest assured, I will be reading more of your works.
Yay!
Maybe it was your intention to deviate from canon all along, but I feel the Sparity here is an incongruous blot in probably the most adorable, show-accurate fanfic in this site.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but after the opening of season 1, Spike never said he loved Rarity. The crush aspect actually got more and more downplayed as the show went on. In "Secret Of My Excess" he said he had a crush, not that he loved, and in a moment more critical than this. I know season 3 kindles the fire a little in "Spike At Your Service", but that's it. And then we come to season 4. "Simple Ways" shows clear as day that Spike doesn't have a romantic thing for Rarity given his counseling session with her about Trenderhoof - where, might I add, he shows no hints of jealousy, only annoyance at how she's behaving - and the notion is reinforced in "Inspiration Manifestation", where their bond is purely platonic. Heck, even in "Power Ponies" he doesn't give her more of the time of the day than he does the others.
Aside from what I felt was a bad shoehorn, this was nothing short of absolutely fantastic, and I hope you keep giving us more stories this excellent.
Was that a Monty python reference I saw in there
5046708 Thank you for your comment, I saw the leading up to the shipping section and I skipped it so the story wasn't ruined on me. :)
This is my favourite line in the whole story.
And it's a really great story, too. I also really enoyed the scene where the Crusdaers found Spike brooding at the bridge.
Very, very well written.
...I'm sorry, but it looks like Fluttershy will never, ever learn about what Spike thought was wrong with how SHE acted. Neither will others. I mean, come on, I expected Spike to at least tell them he felt like she treated him like one of her animals, instead of a person.
If I'm not mistaken, this chapter went under a little bit of a re-write. Nice.
5056601 I was thinking the same thing.
5056601 I noticed that too. What's going to stop her from doing it again? Bit of loose end. Great story but that part is going to but me. He even acknowledge she didn't know, I expected a reaction out of her. I enjoyed the horrified reactions of the ponies when they realized how they treated him and Flutters felt a LOT lacking. It's a minor flaw but like a paper cut as minor as it really is it bugs me more than anything.
Yep, you done did do it. Great resolution to Spike's loneliness throughout the day.
Manly tears
Good job, heh, I actually thought this was gonna be a 'Spike finds friends' story, but this is just as good too!
Plot twist: Everypony comes to the castle and finds that Spike has hung himself.
You'd have to add a Dark/Tragedy tag but I would totally still have this story in my favorites.
Q>>5056601 I think, partly because she is the element of kindness, she extends that kindness to every creature.
Treating one pony or animal as more important (or not equally) seems like something fluttershy would try and avoid.
I think the positive outcome from this is that Spike learned that he can reach out to his friends and it isn't going to be a bother for them.
Well I have to admit, this story is great.... until this chapter. Don't get me wrong, this chapter was great and definitely pulled some feels out of me, however, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed this, Spike was once again in the wrong.
Now, I can't really say that Spike is completely innocent for his actions, since he did ignore the CMC. However, and this is my opinion, Spike had every right to feel how he did. I know that each of their actions wasn't intentional, but it did show how easily it is for them to forget the fact that he is their friend, as well as their core elements...
I think he should have told them what he noticed. That way it could be put in the open and addressed so it wont happen again. As they say, a closed mouth doesn't get fed, so if you want results, speak up!
Amazing.
Not sure if crying
or Just being licked...
The puberty is week with this one.
Seriously though, enough of the gender stereotypes. You're part of the fandom of a girls show with candy colour magical pony princesses.
But they ARE just 'friends of a friend' and they DO belittle because he IS their best friend's little brother-like character.
But the (presumably added) bit with the CMC did kind of fix it and he really should get some of his own friends and the CMC would be chosen for the sake of a small cast.
(I read the postscript but still disagree)
I love this thing. As a person who's ended up making friends with the little brother of a friend, I can relate to the sentiments of the mane 6. Just because, originally, you were friends with one sibling does not mean you can't also be friends with the other.
Not to mention that the tone and message seems to really reflect the official mlp show (well except the lack of humor. Theres usually a gag or two in there to lighten it up but im just nit picking). As a fanfic writer you had every chance to spin this into (as someone already recommended with a more tragic end where spike hangs himself) something more adult theamed. Most fanfic writers do so I'm glad you used the happy route.
Aw. I really wish they would do something like this in the show. Spike gets so little love from the writers and he really isn't a bad character.
Refresh my memory. When did Spike save Rainbow's life?
5788988 don't know when he saved her specifically but he did save Equestria from Sombra that one time
5801317 It was in "Over a barrel", when Spike stopped the buffalo from trampling Rainbow and Pinkie into the ground.
5034632
Yes and no. He's definitely in the Friend-Zone NOW, but she's made it clear that he'll have a chance to get out of it.
Aww!
Sensing the requirement for conscious action, Spike's trance slowly faded and more normal cognitive functions asserted themselves. His eyes focused properly and he blinked several times. He wiped his face with his claws to discover his cheeks were coated with some kind of wet, ever-so-slightly sticky moisture. He looked up at Applejack, and around at Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie all stood surrounding him. Then his eyes found the thrones just beyond each of them, ready for use.
Okay. Real talk?
If I was a Sparity fan, this is the direction I'd want it going!
This is amazing, this I think should be an episode wow this right was really good.
5788988 Saved both hers and Pinkie's from being killed by the buffalo's in Over A Barrel.
So glad it worked out like that for Spike. Something like that happens in real life and the end result is being told that you were too self-centered and immature for a 10-year old.
One of the best stories I have ever read on this site.
Thank you.
This actually made me tear up and for that, I give you a follow!
Awesome story! And i apologize for my dirty mind.
Spike is the only male at a slumber party...
If there was ever evidence Spike was still a boy and not a man, here it is.
Don't worry Spike, after you hit puberty, you will understand just why you should enjoy that hug.
5547663
What gender stereotype? About manly men not enjoying girly hugs and feelings? Not a stereotype. The majority of little boys and even men feel that way. They will never say it but it's true. Living as a man takes alot of suppression. It's a fact. If you stand apart you have to be ready to take the jabs at your manhood. Its a part of life. Any women who stands up for you, or any attempts to try and dissuade that men should be that way is just a sign of surrender of your man card.
It's much more complicated that I can explain in this post. And it's one of those things you have to experience to truly understand.
And yes, there are many exceptions. But that's the point, they are exceptions, not the rule. And they will always be considered exceptions, aka outsiders. Treated differently then other men. Never part of the group.
Please note that this is based entirely on my own experience, and on conversations, and observations with other men I am close to. Being a fellow man, one of the guys in many different groups, I'm afforded a look at the way we interact with each other and others.
If your experience is different I implore you to seek out others different then you and try to join their group. A multitude of different opinions and perspectives can give a broader and more accurate sense of understanding rather than simply being surrounded by like minded individuals.