That Sounds Awful
"Okay, Sweetie Belle," said Apple Bloom. "What are we looking at?"
"You're looking at my new story!" squeaked Sweetie Belle. "After Gabby Gums flopped, I still had a lot of paper and ink left over, so I thought that I might as well put it to good use. Who knows? Maybe I'll get my cutie mark in creative writing."
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo held a small stack of papers in their hooves, each poring over Sweetie's words.
"And this is, uh... a story?" asked Scootaloo. "What's this about?"
"Can't you tell by the title?" asked Sweetie Belle.
"Not really," said Apple Bloom.
Sugar Alarm's Super Awesome Adventure of More Awesome
It was a bright sunny day in Ponyville. But then a monster attacked! The monster was big and ugly, like Rarity when she puts on those curly things and mud masks at night except if she was as tall as town hall. But that's because it was a magical copy of Rarity that was made while she was asleep.
"I'm going to eat you all!" loudly shouted the monster in its deep voice. "I'm going to grab the closest pony and gobble her up because I'm a monster and that's what I do!"
The monster stomped around in the middle of town for a while, but nopony came around because they were all too scared of the monster.
Suddenly, a masked unicorn came flying out of the sky! She wasn't a pegasus, so she couldn't fly, but it looked like she was flying. It was Sugar Alarm, the pony in purple, pink, and five different shades of gold! Trained under both Rainbow Dash and Mare-Do-Well, she was pretty much the living embodiment of awesomeness! She had a totally radical costume and a hat four times bigger than Mare-Do-Well's. Sugar Alarm was born in the Everfree Forest and raised by timber wolves, who showed her the ways of nature and the hunt. She had poison joke for breakfast every morning, which made her magical powers even stronger than every other unicorn in Equestria ever.
"Yippee-ki-yay, monster!" she shouted while she fell, magically pulling out her ninja sword.
The monster looked up and grabbed her with magic. "I have you now, Sugar Alarm! I was waiting for you! This monster thing was all a trap!"
And then the monster turned into Zorblar, the evil pony mastermind from beyond the stars! That's why his magic beat Sugar Alarm's, because he wasn't from Equestria. Also, he had a hat too, but it was even bigger than Sugar Alarms!
"Yes, a trap just to find you! Ever since you blew up my space station around Planet XJ9-7" (and he said the dash instead of just skipping over it) "I've been looking for you, Sugar Alarm. You stole my Awesomeinator, and I can't be awesome without my Awesomeinator!"
Sweetie Belle smirked. "You mean THIS Awesomeinator?!" She held out a small black box with lots of buttons and dots and other technical stuff. "You can't have it back, because I'm using it now!" And then she pressed a button and it made Zorblar's magic go away.
He wasn't worried, though. He just laughed. "Haha! I expected you to do this! So I prepared something just for this situation!" And he pressed a hidden button inside his giant hat, which turned into a giant unicorn horn. "I have magic again, and your Awesomeinator can't do anything about it!"
"So it is my Awesomeinator now?" said Sugar Alarm.
"Shut up!" shouted Zorblar.
And then the giant horn-hat fired a massive pink laser beam, taking away the Awesomeinator. "So now that I have the Awesomeinator, I can do this!" he shouted. He put the Awesomeinator into the horn-hat, and the pink laser beam turned dark red. "You see, this is now the Deawesomeinator! But that's a lot to say, so I'll just call it the Dawesome."
Sugar Alarm fell to the ground since Zorblar wasn't caring about her anymore. Her ninja sword fell next to her. "Dawesome? What's that do?"
"It does exactly what it sounds like it does! It makes things not awesome!"
Sugar Alarm gasped dramatically, and so did everypony inside their houses, because they were listening to them.
"You monster! You're just as bad as the big magical copy of my sister while she was asleep!"
"Not as bad as your actual sister," said Zorblar.
"True that," said Sugar Alarm. That's what Rarity gets for looking at Sugar Alarm's private diary, that big hypocritical meanie.
"But enough of that! With the Dawesome, I shall make ice cream in Ponyville taste like dirt forever! There will be no more ice cream flavors except for dirt!"
He laughed really loudly, loud enough to make all the ponies inside their houses cover their ears because it was too loud and their ears hurt. Sugar Alarm was special, so she didn't have to.
"Noooooooooo!" shouted Sugar Alarm.
Meanwhile, in Canterlot:
"Princess Celestia!" shouted a guard. "Zorblar is doing stuff in Ponyville! Bad stuff, and he's doing it to Sugar Alarm!"
Princess Celestia ate some cake. "Mmmph. Terl therm to send ther othur two heroes," she said with her mouth full. "I'm busy eating this delishus cake."
"At once, your highness." The guard told another guard to do that, and then the first guard went to eat some cake.
Back in Ponyville:
"Noooooooooo!" shouted Sugar Alarm. "If you do that, then Ponyville will lose awesomeness forever!"
"That's right!" shouted Zorblar. "There's nothing you can do to stop me! Nopony can stop me, because I'm evil and that's what evil ponies do! Mwahahahaha!" he laughed evilly.
But then, two more heroes showed up! It was her two hero friends, Apple Bud and Tricycloo! They shouted, "Stop right there, Zorblar! We're here to stop you!"
TO BE CONTINUED!
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned over the last page in her story.
"Well, what do you think?" asked Sweetie Belle, grinning widely and eagerly.
"It's, uhh... exciting," said Scootaloo.
"Riveting," added Apple Bloom.
The two of them put on wide, awkward smiles.
"Great!" squeaked Sweetie Belle, taking back the papers. "Because that's only chapter one. Wait till you see the other twenty-three!"
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[01:23:32] <Filler|Requirements> The next sentence that comes up in this chat will have around a thousand words written about it, then sloppily posted on FiMFiction.
[01:23:39] <Nicholas> Nooooooo
[01:23:45] <Filler|Requirements> The next complete sentence*
[01:23:52] <soundslikeponies> That sounds awful.
[01:23:58] <Filler|Requirements> [01:23:52] <soundslikeponies> That sounds awful.
[01:24:00] <Filler|Requirements> There we go
Not sure if bad idea or just not executed as well as it could have been.
I see what you were doing, though.
It's by Filler. 'Nuff said. I'll read when I get home.
I'm sorry Sweetie Belle, I'm afraid you won't be getting your cutie mark in creative writing.
Just don't let Princess Celestia read your story, otherwise you might be getting your cutie mark in moon exploration.
I love how Sweetie Belle didn't even bother mangling Rarity's name.
is u and sweetie belle going to make chapter two
i demand those other 23 chapters!!!!
...
And here I was expecting either Applebloom or Scootaloo to say "I really liked her... mane?" about Sugar Awesome
Oh well.
This is totally the kind of badfic I dig ^^
538767 I theStallion second that motion!
It is so real it is almost scary.
Tricycloo.
538748>>538767>>538880
Please please please.... Not only is this now headcanon for me, I want more Sugar Alarm.... SHE"S THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER!!!!
"Uhhh... Thanks?"
See, Sweetie Belle can write...
"No more please...."
She's even more awesome that one time at band camp!!!!!
TO ALL OF YOU..... SWEETIE WRITE MORE>>> APPLE BLOOM STOP BEING MEAN
And that's how equestria was made....
The only problem with this (well, aside from the things that are supposed to be problems) is that the emphasis on awesomeness makes it sound more like something Scootaloo would write than Sweetie Belle.
This is either the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. I can't decide which.
Ah, the power of giant hats....
539113
Why decide? Can't it be both?
Cant tell if trollfic
or well executed comedy.
Unfortunately, the comment is correct that the story-within-the-story sounds more like something Scootaloo would write. Also, that story is actually better than most fanfics posted on this site, so it fails the comedy test in that regard. I was amused that Sugar Alarm's sister is Rarity, and she didn't even bother to try to disguise that fact. Anyway, cute overall. +1.
i find this humerus
539055 XD
Wow Sweetie Belle's first story, needs a lot of work if you ask me.
Giant hats!
482064
I see you're putting IRC to even more good use, Filler. I found this enjoyable; it was absolutely terrible in the way you meant it to be, and it was only 1k words, so it was bearable to read through it. This gets my thumbs up.
I can't imagine how hard this must have been to write, though...
539055
Sorry, but I've no plans to continue this. Perhaps that's for the best.
539090
Most probably, but I already had the screencap at the ready, so...
540842
Not very hard, since I was basically throwing out words as fast as I could to shunt the fic idea out of my head and study for the midterm I had in four hours.
Also, I held back quite a bitThere were a lot of things I didn't think of doing. The grammar is standard, there's no overuse of bold/all-caps/ellipses, and I didn't even think about putting in LUS. No ubiquitous use of in-narrative sound effects, either.543267
Well, then, with your permission, I'd like to refer back to this story in some of mine. My main line of stories, will have references and cameos by the CMC, and maybe, just maybe, they will be talking about this story. It is honestly one of the best fictions I've read in a while.
543355
I'm not sure why you would want to, but if you wish, then by all means, go for it.
I was thoroughly amused, and regret nothing.
I look forward to the other 23 chapters.
552707
Since I'm probably not actually going to write the other twenty-three chapters, I leave you with this. While it isn't the inspiration for this, it is related.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/8932/The-Lejendary-Lejend-of-Masterroxxor
i will await the other 23 chapters
must. resist. urge. to. vomit. because. of. so. much. awful. grammar. and. spelling.
You better write the other twenty-three, I gotta know what happens to Sugar Alarm!
What the fuck did I just read
I...*facepalms* Te problem with making fun of terrible fic is you still have to read terrible fic.
This was still pretty funny and did really feel like it fit a child's view of the world.