Warhawk Curtis, formerly known as Tomahawk is a Shadow bolt in the Lunar Republic, who finds himself in the wring place at the wrong time doing what he thinks is right. His actions lead to a long string of events that makes one thing clear, his reality and the one he lives in are nearly two different worlds. If a rouge princess consumed by jealousy can be redeemed by a hope and a sister's love. What is to become of a soldier who has nobody left in the world to turn to. With the Shadow bolts reduced to a simple uncoordinated and undisciplined street gang, does this Veteran dare side with the Wonder bolts? One thing is for sure, Spitfire hates his guts!
Chapters (6)
...There are quite a few easily fixable mistakes in this story.
Like in this one for example there should be a comma after 'but' in this sentence. But like I said, I only see a number of easily fixable mistakes and from what I've seen, it seems to be with punctuation.
Despite that the story didn't really seem cringe worthy at any time and was definitely readable. In fact, it kept me interested throughout.
But I didn't really understand the ending of this chapter:
Like with this part I figured out who was speaking, but you didn't say who was speaking. You can do this, but not at this point since Celestia has been mentioned for the first time.
With this part, I was not really sure what I was I to understand from this. If you could clarify this part in the paragraph it would definitely make the whole paragraph complete of understanding.
But those where things I saw, there are probably more. The story is told okay and definitely has potential, but you're going to need editors and prereaders to look and catch anything you didn't see when you're done making your own checks.
Good story though, keep it up.
Have you ever heard of story tags?
Thank you for the feed back, I actually have someone who's offering to preread, I will fix the errors so they make more sense. I will from here on out send my upcoming chapters through my beta reader before posting.
Story tags are bit tricky because of how the story plays out...
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