With her massive flank, Celestia agrees to her sister's idea. Unfortunately, it's not what she expected.Her love handles are craving food. Her flank needs frosting. And her stomach craves cake.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 28th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen April 11th
MoltenXKid
Sometimes you sit at the screen for hours and never type a word.
MoltenXKid
Joined 28th Oct, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Liquid Savage · 4.1k words · 71 1 · 5.8k views
- MetalBrony20 · 6.3k words · 31 2 · 2.7k views
- TacoBiteToughGuy · 2k words · 43 3 · 4.8k views
- The Great Wub Tub · 2k words · 25 2 · 2.6k views
- TacoBiteToughGuy · 1.2k words · 43 5 · 5k views
- GodOfBBQ · 2k words · 64 21 · 3.9k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.144 seconds
Total duration
973 users online
154,438 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Love it. xD Hilarious!
BORDERLANDS
Borderlands, and a slice of life. Ayyyxcellent.
That. I liked it.
img.pandawhale.com/post-16860-ANOTHER-gif-Thor-Imgur-wh3P.gif
Also, the Griffon king reminds me of King Candy for some strange reason. They're both so... peppy. Meh, they're fun. I'll let it slide.
Eh...
What would a princess do, for a klondike bar. Doo Doo.
dialog needs end " marks. And "Replied" is the wrong word. Since Celestia neither said nor asked anything of her.
__________________
space after ",".
___________
remove space between "," and "day".
______________
Space after the period.
________________
Space after the ","s.
__________________
5145167 so basically... watch your spaces,newb
5145304
Basically. Although for the most part everything else was rather well structured
, and no glaring spelling errors that I saw. Decent fic though all in all. Just need to watch the spacing 
.
This is the best thing ever XD
*looks at chapter title*
That was bad, and you should feel bad.
5145167 Omg grammar Nazi... JK
5147037
Oh no! The doughnuts are attacking! *barricades self in a fortress of Pinkie Pie's.* Seriously though, it's all good.
5147056 Meh, at least your helping him/Her with grammar stuff
5147107
5147110 Have you ever Wondered How many Bronies there are if all of them were counted Today?
5147177
Hmmm ... around the world, probably over a hundred million. In the US, probably less than 10% of the entire US population. Of course that's just my guess. What'd your guess be?
"... So... no hard mints?"
Luna: no
"No bubblegum?"
L: No
"No cookies? Icecream? PRETZELS?!"
L: no, except for the last one... no salt ban
"Awwwwww... Will it go away if I kill sun-butt?"
L: you would kill my sister over sweets/
"I would kill your sister for many reasons'
L: ... later... you still have soda and graham crackers
"WOO-HOO!"
L: just no cinnimon
*Kicks celestia across the room*
"Road house"
L: you watch too much TV
"No I don't, you just don't watch enough"
5146456 ( ._.) I thought it was cool
5147526 actually you cant have anything that doesn't come from the land.
5147572
it is good, just that I wanted to say that.
5147817 thanks mate. I was just joking about the sad looking face earlier. I actually though your comment was funny.
5147246 The Last I heard. Was around 200 million
What no one even noticed was that after the cake ban Pinkie Pie was baking Special Cupcakes with background ponies no one cared about but after each baking, not one of them was heard from again.
I would tell you to write a sequel using this, but I am still in my pajamas. Screw it, please write a sequel using that info. Iwould really appreciate it.
5154753 Oh , my little pony...Im terrible with sequels. also, I'm not sure how to spin that into comedy
5155311 easy: have pinkie pie do it as a prank so the bans lifted
5155548 For you , I'll mess around with the idea. No promises that I'll ship one out, but you can count on me trying.
5158621 thanks. I appreciate that.
Awesome borderlands reference.
5204668 Thanks for noticing mate.
5205451 No problem
Poor baker...
Nice story. Done quickly, I presume?
Slight errors found throughout. But I read through them and thoroughly enjoyed the story. It's fast-paced nature helped to read through the errors.
Excellent job portraying Celestia as a silly princess.
Conclusion: Good funny story, idea and all. But will benefit from further editing. It's not a long story, so said further editing shouldn't take too long, if the author so chooses.
Shelving.
1. For some odd reason, that unicorn insisted on coming to Canterlot everyday only to take a hot air balloon back down to Ponyville and then send the same photo every day. It was tedious, but it gave Celestia something to do in the morning. Well, at least she started to include other ponies and not just her friends.
- LOL!
Some possible points of correction:
1. They weren’t expecting us to go through our supply it so fast.”
2. “Oh…then I guess you wouldn’t mind go into the mines to get me some, right?” Celestia continued smiling.
3. He stomach began growling as she reached to her flank, scooped a hooful of frosting, and brought it to her mouth.
4. “Please don’t tell me you’re about to eat that, sister? Replied Luna, who was right beside her sister the entire time.
- “Please don’t tell me you’re about to eat that, sister?" replied Luna, who was right beside her sister the entire time.
5. “It would seem that you’ve gained weight over the past hundred years,especially in your posterior area. Could I recommend a good personal trainer? He keeps me healthy.”
6. “Luna,Luna,Luna…can’t is just a word,”
- “Luna Luna Luna…'can’t' is just a word,”
These are just some of the errors I encountered.
PS: To be honest, I wouldn't mind making a story like this. Short and sweet. And even with errors that the readers seem to not mind at all. But my short story ideas tend to...not be short after some time.
5736129 Done quickly...not per se. Unfortunately, I suffer from a disorder known as mind reading. Not the one clearly known to the public, but the one to where my mind reads and not my eyes. I may catch most(if some) mistakes, but those tiny ones escape me since my brain automatically corrects.
I'm glad you liked and thank you for the corrections which will get to ASAP. Oh, and trust me, those long story ideas bombard me constantly. Though, these short and sweet ones take priority.
5740520 Hmmm...I wonder if I have that "mind reading" problem too. And for that matter, maybe all authors have it to some extent.