Maybe Tomorrow

by Baal Bunny

Maybe Tomorrow

Settled into the crook of a branch halfway up the big oak tree, Angel watches the leaves around him brighten slowly from grey to green. The night sky pales behind the leaves, the black fading and deepening to blue.

It means the sun's coming up. He knows that. He knows so many things now.

He didn't used to, but that was such a long time ago, he scarcely remembers how he used to live not knowing and thinking and feeling and understanding.

Knowing and thinking and feeling and understanding. Like the sun coming up, it's just something that ponies do, something that ponies make happen around them. He knows that, too.

"Angel Bunny?" He hears the back door rattle. He doesn't want to look, but his eyes shift, drawn to the swinging motion. The little, curtain-framed window catches the light of the rising sun. It scatters back at him, the sharp, cutting brightness making him squint. "Breakfast time!"

With an effort, he doesn't move. It'd be the best thing for her if he stayed put. He knows that. It'd be the best thing for him, too. It'd be the best thing for everypony.

"Angel?" She sticks her head out, and her nose wrinkles with that darling smile. "Are you being a naughty bunny? Are we going to have that kind of day today?"

He doesn't want to look at her, at her smooth yellow hide, at her pink mane soft as dandelion down! He should turn away and look east! East to the rising sun! To the big wide world! To the life in the wild, the life waiting just over the horizon! He shouldn't think about how she cuddles his cheek and how he cuddles hers because it's wrong in every way! There's no lust involved in it, of course, not like there would be between a buck and a doe out in the wild. There's no love in it, either. How can there be? Love's another thing that ponies do, and he isn't a pony!

"Angel?" The word wavers a little this time. She takes a step out the back door, but she'll never look up into the oak beside the cottage. He knows that. Rabbits don't climb trees, after all.

Unless they're not rabbits anymore, but then that's one more thing that ponies do. They change the world, shape it and squeeze it and mold it till it looks like them, looks the way they want it to look. Ponies sing, so birds don't just chirp anymore. Ponies build houses, so badgers don't just burrow anymore. Ponies want things, so rabbits find themselves full of longings, longings for things they can't begin to express. And that makes them surly and cross even to those who don't deserve it, even to those who deserve nothing but the finest, gentlest, sweetest—

"Angel?" She's completely outside now, the sunlight dancing over her and plumbing the depths of those wide turquoise eyes.

He shouldn't be looking at her! He should dig into the bark and make an anchor against her rising tide, slow and relentless and cool and refreshing—

Stifling! Unnatural! An iron chain attached to jaws of steel, jagged, sharp, and clamped so tightly, the only possible solution is to gnaw that leg off! Throw it away, throw it all away! He never had a soul before he met her, but now that he has met her, his soul stagnates without freedom's breeze stirring its dust, scouring its rust, chipping at its crust! The horizon beckons, and its call—

"Angel!" Her urgency smacks his ears, and he knows he can't blame her. He knows she doesn't know what she's done, what she's doing, what every pony has always done. To ponies, the world isn't a place outside and beckoning. To ponies, the world is a mirror, a reflection of themselves. They're constant in their efforts at self-improvement, and that means they're constant in their meddling with the world.

When his brow is wracked with fever, she drapes a damp washcloth over it. When he craves something green and crunchy that doesn't grow in her garden, she makes a special trip into town for it. When his frustration at the thoughts and feelings whirling through him makes him kick out at her head, her hoofs, her heart, she presents him with gifts both perfect and wildly inappropriate.

She's a pony. It's what she does.

But he's not a pony. He doesn't know what he is. So how can he stay? How can he continue being his own creature if she wants him to be hers? How can anything be right if he's near her or she's near him?

"Angel!" Birds flock around her now, most of them looking for breakfast but some also chirpily asking what the hubbub's about. "Angel Bunny! Have any of you seen him? I've been calling and calling, but he hasn't come in yet!"

Wanting so much not to look at her, wanting so much not to care, wanting so much for her not to look and not to care, he loosens his claws, lets himself fall, air rushing through his whiskers, and closes his eyes to the horizon being swallowed by the peonies blooming in her garden.

"Angel!" With the air suddenly swirling, familiar hooves catch him and gather him to a warm and trembling chest. "What in Equestria were you doing up there, silly? Bunnies don't climb trees!"

He clings to her, face buried in her delicate clover honey scent. The kicking will come later. He knows that. His little paws will flail against her overwhelming kindliness, and the weight of her expectations will bludgeon him into submission.

And tomorrow? Maybe he'll find the strength to heed the horizon's call. Maybe he'll finally be able to give her the only gift he has to give: the joyous misery of true, animal freedom.

Yes. Maybe tomorrow.

Comments

[The Descendant]

Whoa.

[Baal Bunny]

5178153
Since people seem to be liking this one, maybe I should write some more.

[lazyreader19]

Holy shit.

[horizon]

I enjoyed this in the writeoff, and it's great to see it posted. Even better to see that it's your first story. This promises good things to come! And I certainly look forward to seeing what you can do with next month's longer writeoff!

As for the expanded story: the prose gets somewhat purple for my tastes at times, but at the same time, I think that helps you deliver the mood impact of the piece. It made a smooth transition to the larger version — the shorter one doesn't feel like it was missing anything major, and the longer one doesn't drag.

At any rate: great premise, good execution, and keep it up.

[AxelS]

I loved this story so much in the write-off, and I like it even better now. It really provides a good view of what Angel Bunny actually thinks of his caretaker, and it made me appreciate that the background animals actually have thoughts.

[Baal Bunny]

5178290
Hoping that's good?
5178642
5178773
I have to admit this isn't the first story I've written. It isn't even the first story I've had posted on FIMFiction. When I made this second account last spring, I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. Now, I want to see if I can write the sort of character-driven stories I don't usually write. I'll try to make the next ones a little less purple.

[lazyreader19]

5179782
It was a good holy shit. Well maybe good, depends. It was more like a "whoa that's deep" holy shit.

Also what is your other account? What do you normally write?

[horizon]

5179782
Oh, cool! Good to see this giving you a chance to stretch yourself a bit.

Seconding 5179790, though I'd certainly understand if you wanted to maintain the divide.

[Baal Bunny]

5181223
5179790
Hope it's okay if I keep this quiet. I'm in a weird headspace right now and I like having this little place to go where I can just do stories and not worry about anything else. I'm thinking I might start working my way backwards through the Writeoff prompt and see what I can come up with.

[horizon]

5181618
No worries! Whatever gets you writing.

[lazyreader19]

5181618

Fair enough, I respect your decision. Though if you change your mind, let me know

[howard035]

Great story. Makes you wonder about the long term effects of Fluttershy's special talent on animals.

[Baal Bunny]

5208334
Or the long term effects of pegasus weather control and the princesses' control of day and night. Ponies literally create their own reality when you get right down to it.

[howard035]

5209699 Pony Manifest Destiny puts the American West to shame.

[Emptybee]

I love the concept than pony magic shapes their world in ways they aren't conscious of.

[Baal Bunny]

5319298

One of my favorite phrases:

Is "The Pathetic Fallacy," but ponies just do it by reflex.

Mike

[sopchoppy]

Great world building interwoven with an emotional character piece.

[Lurks-no-More]

Woah. Again, an excellent story, that gives a whole lot of depth to Angel, and to the whole Fluttershy-Angel relationship. The idea that ponies are a species of well-intentioned, frequently unconscious, meddlers in everything around them fits very well with the show canon; it's not for nothing that we've joked about it being properly called My Little Terraformer: Nature is Tamed.

[Baal Bunny]

5364659
5366399

Thanks again!

I'd like to do more with this idea of Angel and the animals of Equestria, but it'll have to wait till at least next spring...

Mike

[I accept headpats]

I made you a reading!

[Baal Bunny]

5459756

Wow!

Thanks! I can barely even form intelligible words at 1:30 in the morning, and here you did a whole reading! Quite fancy!

Oh, and since you ask at the end there, I pronounce "Baal" as two syllables--"bah-ahl"--with the accent on the last syllable, but the way you pronounce it is the way the dictionary wants people to. So go with that.

Mike

[I accept headpats]

5460926 Oh, I see now. As for recording it that late, I'm just acclimated to being awake at such a late/early hour.

[PresentPerfect]

the joyous misery of true, animal freedom.

That's a line for the books. I don't honestly remember this one from that writeoff; you must've changed it quite a bit. :O

[Baal Bunny]

5467403

Yeah:

I added about 400 words here and there, I guess. This was my first writeoff when I was still hiding under the pseudonym here, and the comments--including yours, actually --were instrumental in getting me to realize what the story was about.

Mike

[Papa Dragon]

Nothing like ponies reshaping reality unknowingly.

[Baal Bunny]

5703813

There'd almost be:

A whole story in Twilight realizing that she's affecting the results of her experiments just by doing them. It'd be the whole "double-slit experiment" on a macroscopic level--a pony observing any situation causes that situation to change--and as a scientist, Twilight might get a little freaked out about that...

Mike

[Papa Dragon]

5704951

Someone needs to write a story where Twilight has an existential crisis because of this. Or in knowing that her observations affect things, wonders if there isnt someone/thing observing her thats affecting her in conducting her experiments.

[gardrek]

but she'll never look up into oak beside the cottage

Missing an article.

They change the world, shape it and squeeze it mold it till it looks like them

Missing a comma, or a conjunction.

[Rakaziel]

Very interesting idea, and really well written.

[Neece]

Damn. Have a like, good sir!

[Baal Bunny]

8259628

Thanks!

It's always nice to see the older stories getting some attention!

Mike

[Cerulean Blue]

I like the introspective Angel

[Pete100]

I don’t really get it.

[new55]

That was a good story. It was interesting to see Fluttershy's magic from this perspective.