“Ya got th’ newest issue?”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll like this one, Mac,” Spike whispered as he passed the rolled-up comic to the farmer.
“An’ there ain’t gonna be no surprises like th’ last one, right?” Big Mac glared down at the little dragon.
“Not this issue, no,” Spike replied, polishing his knuckles against his chest. When he noticed Big Mac’s glare, he said, “Hey, don’t blame me! You got that issue from Caramel!”
“Oh, hi, Big Mac,” Twilight said as she rounded the corner to the castle library. “What brings you here today?”
“Ahhhh!” Big Mac yelled, as he quickly stashed the comic into his yoke. “Ah… Ah was jus’ here say’n howdy t’ Spike, Yer Highness.”
“Big Mac, you’ve known me for long enough now— you don’t have to call me ‘Your Highness’.” Twilight blushed. “Besides, it’s good to see Spike spending time with some male friends. Ever since Shining Armor moved to the Empire, I’ve been worried that he didn’t have enough ‘guy’ friends.”
“Hey,” Spike grumbled. “I have plenty of guy friends!”
“Of course you do,” Twilight said, giving the dragon a nuzzle.
“Well, A-Ah gotta get back t’ work,” Big Mac stammered, interrupting the moment. “Ah’ll pay ya back next time Ah see ya, alright, Spike?”
“Yeah, sure,” Spike replied. “I’ll see you next week.”
Twilight watched Big Mac walk away, desperately trying to hide the small blush that had formed on her cheeks.
“You should just ask him out, you know,” Spike said, once the stallion had exited the library.
“Oh, no… He’d never, I mean, we couldn’t—”
“No, I am pretty much, one-hundred percent certain that he would say ‘yes’ to you. In a flash!”
Twilight glowered at the dragon. “What did I say about using that word in this castle?”
“Oh, come on!” Spike moaned. “That was six months ago… and it’s not my fault he got married!”
They both stood there in an awkward silence, until Twilight broke it. “So, what are you going to do with your day off?”
“Hmmm,” Spike said, scratching his chin. “Eh, I’ll probably just go take a nap.”
“Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!”
Twilight’s screams echoed throughout the crystal castle walls.
“Where are you, you little menace?”
Spike rolled over in his bed, trying desperately to ignore the yelling mare that was disturbing his nap. How ever did he manage to sleep in that ratty old basket instead of a real bed like this one? He flipped his blankie back over his head, desperately hoping that the clomping sound headed towards his bedroom was not who he thought it was.
Spike’s bedroom door crashed open; alas, his nap was not going to be.
“What’s up, Twi?” he asked, holding a claw to his mouth to cover a yawn.
“What’s up?” she asked, incredulously.
“What’s up‽” she screamed.
Twilight threw a small comic book onto Spike’s bed. The dragon picked it up and eyed it.
“Oh, you found my comics?” he asked. “I wondered where this one got to.”
“Your… your… Spike, I thought I was like a big sister to you!” She looked down at the comic book, the cover image a rather disturbingly sexualized image of herself, and shuddered. “How could you… you know… m— m—
“—Do those kinds of things while thinking about me?” she asked, her ears flattening against her skull.
“Oh, gross, Twi!” Spike groaned, sticking his tongue out and gagging. “I’d never do anything like that. You are like my big sister… that would be disgusting!”
Twilight stared at the dragon; his disgust seemed to be genuine. She breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that her little-brother figure was not… doing things like that.
…while thinking about me. Twilight suppressed yet another shudder.
“So if you don’t… you know… ” Twilight blushed. “…then why do you have this?”
“Oh, it’s my last copy,” Spike said. “Yeah, this issue sold like hotcakes! I thought Big Mac bought the last one.”
“Your last copy?” Twilight looked down at the cover, to the author name.
Barb
Twilight cursed; she should have never bought him that thesaurus for his birthday.
“You’re drawing comics‽” she screamed. “Comics about me, and… wait, who is that?”
“Octavia Melody,” Spike answered. “She’s this really hot cellist from the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. And they’re not just about you, I have ones about—”
“That’s not the point!” Twilight snarled. “What I want to know is why you are drawing explicit comics of me burying my face in—”
“Gross! I don’t want to hear that, Twilight!” Spike put his claws over his ears.
“Hear it? Hear it‽” Twilight’s eye twitched. “You were the one who drew it!”
“Yeah, but I didn’t enjoy it! I was just supplying a demand,” Spike said, lowering his claws. “You’re pretty popular with the stallions of Ponyville. You’re always a good seller.”
“There’s more‽”
“Yeah, I still have a few of last month’s issue,” Spike replied, jumping off of his bed and dragging a crate out from underneath.
Twilight looked over the lewd cover images on display. Her breath became shorter and faster as she tried to stave off hyperventilation.
“Hey, look. I even have one of—”
In a fla—burst, Twilight levitated the little dragon, and drew him close to her face. “How many?” she hissed.
“Issues? Or customers?”
“Both. Either. Whatever!”
“Uhhh, let’s see…” Spike started counting on his claws. “…I think I’ve released twenty-seven issues so far. And all of them.”
“All of them?” Twilight asked in confusion.
“All of them,” Spike said, nodding. “Every stallion in Ponyville… I mean—and I don’t mean to brag—my comics are pretty popular.”
Twilight’s breathing sped up, and her pupils dilated to pinpricks.
“What’s the matter, Twilight?” Spike asked. “I thought you’d find it flattering that—”
“Flattering? Flattering‽” Her horn glowed bright, brimming with more arcane power than she had ever wielded before. “Let’s see how flattering you find that kind of attention!”
Spike looked up at the shattered fifth-floor window. Thanking his lucky stars he was a dragon, he stood up and brushed himself off.
It was then that he noticed the gaze of every stallion nearby; every male eye was glued on him.
“I want him!” Big Mac called out.
“I need him!” Mr. Cake yelled.
“I really like his tail!” Davenport squealed.
Spike ran as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia’s voice boomed through the Ponyville castle.
“Oh, hi, Celestia,” Twilight replied, as the elder alicorn stormed into the throne room. “What brings you here today?”
“I overlooked your use of a restricted, Class-A, mind-altering spell the first time, but this time I must—”
Twilight levitated across a comic book, which Celestia took in her magical grasp.
‘Hot Canterlot Nights: A Princest Story by Barb’
Celestia glowered at the scandalous picture of herself and Luna. In a burst of light, the comic was incinerated.
“Don’t worry, Celestia. The spell will only last a week,” Twilight said, with a smirk on her face. “I’m sure by then, they’ll all have learned their lesson.”
“Cake?” Pinkie Pie asked, proffering a slice to the solar princess.
The fury disappeared from Celestia’s eyes and she gratefully accepted the sweet.
“We’re watchin’ th’ whole mess here on th’ table,” Applejack explained, pointing a hoof towards the table in the center of the room. “Aww, lookit! Caramel almost got th’ little perv!”
“I dunno… the writing’s terrible, but the art in this is pretty good,” Rainbow Dash said, as she set down yet another comic, then moved on to the next. “‘Running of the Leaves?’ Oh, hey, look! I’m in this one! And so’s Applejack! He really got my good side! Well, they’re both my good sides, I guess—”
Applejack scowled as Rainbow Dash held a page open in front of her. “Ah certainly don’t remember doin’ that t’ slow ya down durin’ th’ race!”
“I just don’t understand where our little Spikey-Wikey would have gotten such a crass idea.” Rarity shook her head. “It just seems so unlike him!”
A pink-coated unicorn stormed through the Crystal Empire castle.
“I demand an audience with Cadance!” she screamed as she pushed past another twelve crystal guards. “Let me through at once!”
“Let her through,” Cadance called, as the doors opened wide. She scowled at the pink unicorn storming down the aisle. “You have a lot of nerve coming here, Chrysalis!”
The pink unicorn burst into green flame, and before the throne stood an angry Queen Chrysalis.
“The one who has a lot of nerve is your husband!” the changeling snarled. She opened her saddlebag and levitated a hoofbound manuscript to the princess. “I found four-hundred copies of this trash amongst the workers in my hive!” Chrysalis yelled. “Do you have any idea how long it will take to replace that many executed workers‽”
Cadance looked down at the pages in front of her.
‘Love Bugs: A Chrydance Clopfic, by Gleaming Shield.’
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
Lol... Nice one shot
This was awesome... but now I feel bad for Spike.
Dammit Spike
Write one about Spike seeing his doctor.
Mares are such prudes, except Dash.
Clever chap, Spike. He saw a demand that needed supply, and made a killing off it. If only Twilight could see that it's not perversion, just capitalism.
Women and their views of morality... Ah well, you can't help it.
Well, that happened. Nice use of interrobangs. Beyond that, I don't really have much to say on the matter.
5176383
So finally something of mine is not included in the 'Most' set.
Not sure how I should feel about that
Even Spike ships OctaLight!
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/90543.jpg?1363276314
Also it's been so long since I had an art class, I thought "Copic" was a spellcheck fail for "Coping" until I read in a bit. Slow on the uptake today, I am, but a great short one-shot nonetheless.
5176409
Yeah, I had to check with my editor that Copic markers were actually a thing outside Australia. I have artist friends who swear by them.
And you are forgiven for thinking it was a typo. 'twas a terrible pun anyway!
Edit: I am not sure it even qualifies as a pun. It was a play on coping mechanisms and copic markers. Bleh, what ever
5176494
christinawedberg.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/copic_markers_group.jpg
Moose tested, Dasher approved.
I lol'd way too hard. Great job.
Okay. I laughed. I was entertained. Many laughs were had.
Here, have an upvote.
Never stop writing, Spike. Don't let Twilight keep you down. He's just fulfilling a need.
Spike is a monster............at pulling in the cash!
But why Twilight? Why doth ye ruin capitalism?
Well, Shining Armor is dead too. I wonder who else is drawing these comics. Spike can't be doing all the work. Snips and Snails?
And what if one finds it's way to Sunset Shimmer back in the human world?
Oh hey, and interrobang.
Oh hey, there's lots of them.
Just one thing; I felt like the scene transitions were a bit choppy. I thought at first that Spike had been dreaming the scene with Big Macintosh.
See this is why you HIDE YOUR HAND DRAWN PORNOGRAPHY AWAY FROM THE OBLIVIOUS MODELS. And don't put your name on it dumbshit. That's like putting on a home address on every bag of weed you sell on the corner. Spike I am dissapoint.
Nice story though giggled like a idiot in the middle of my living room.
10 years later Bad Dragon Studios is the largest supply of erotic material literature In all Equestria and Spike is Hugh Hefner
Also Twilight's spell starts a rumor that she turns stallions permanently gay so she never gets laid again.
At first I thought there were a lot of punctuation errors, but it turns out that the interrobangs aren't showing up properly on my tablet. Not a complaint or anything, just an observation.
Anyway, funny fic.
Not, Spike's, fault these mares are hot!
Sequel!
I saw this in the featured box, and lo: I beheld your other fics! You're getting another stal- uh... follower now.
Spike is best reluctant perv.
But Shining is just a plain perv.
5178987 An error? An error? SAY THAT TO MY FACE!
Nah, just kidding. Seriously, if you found an error anywhere, say something— I tend to keep track of the stories I edit. I'm always looking to improve; I don't have any formal training, so the fact that people don't tend to find errors in the stories I edit is kind of... well... miraculous. Either that or they just don't pay attention.
Ha! It's normally Cadence writing the shipfics
When Twilight showed Spike his nasty-but-so-good-comic, it was so weird and awkward and adorable and I love it.
This was definitely the best joke for me. I knew the second I read the description it was going to involve Spike creating some nature of pervy work.
5176534 The blue one is upside down....
5179581 Sorry, I don't feed trolls.
5179640 No really, it's bugging the fuck out of my OCD. Is that intentional, or....?
5179655 Okay, if you're serious, what "blue one" are you referring to?
5179676 in the middle. the blue one with two different tips is upside down compared to the rest.
5179686
GODDAMNIT TIMELORD!
I also suffer from OCD, and now I see it too.
Thanks man, thanks!
5179694
I pointed it out to him.
He now knows what you are even talking about.
Imma stalk you now!
Score: out of 5!
5179686 OOH. Apologies, I didn't realize you were responding to the comment with the picture. I thought you meant something in the story. Yes, that actually bugged the heck out of me, too. Well, now I look like an idiot.
5179715 No prob. Now....I'm going to rerererereread "A daughter and her dragon."
5179727 Yeah, that was one of the first stories I edited. You just might find a few errors in there. I've gotten better since then.
And then they find out the comics are of the magical variety...
The bit at the end is what made me crack up the most!
5179738
I can't help but laugh. That cover image was originally a sweet little picture, but given the context of the story, it now looks so very very seedy.
Like "Ahma drawin' me some porn!"
5179426 Oh, I don't think it's an error, just an issue with my tablet. I suspect they would show up fine if I was reading this on my computer at home.
5180464
Yeah, a few tablets don't show all unicode characters.
That'll teach me for trying to be fancy!
5180517 Fanciness is its own reward!
5180528
i.imgur.com/iwfF3bI.png
soooo she put a rape spell on Spike....and everyone is ok with that wow. (now i have to look up what a interrobang is)
5180908
Actually, she put a desire spell on him. I dont remember anyone fucking Smarty Pants in lesson zero.
I think it would be funnier if Celestia was a fan of his works.