• Member Since 6th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Celestial Doom


I break things, usually without meaning to, oh, and I do some writing. I write for myself, if ya like what I write, well, I'll be impressed!

T
Source

Berry Punch just wants some wine.
But, Corkscrew the local wine merchant has run out (due to Berry drinking it all), and sends her to Canterlot, to his brothers store (she'll even get a discount for being a good customer!)

The only thing is, that on her way to the train station, she's stopped by other ponies wanting her help with something, or other.

Can she get to Canterlot in time, or will she have to wait until Corkscrew gets more in? Or, even, have to put up with something else entirely? Maybe *shudder* a milkshake?
These, and many more questions will NOT be answered by this short story, I'll leave that for another time. This one, is just a series of mishaps.

[A/N]
I'll, hopefully, be setting a few more stories here. But that's for the future to decide.

The story is being fully spell checked and expanded as you read this, after a comment, cheers Ahelpinghoof, I decided to look through the original, and found it lacking!
I've also decided to update the cover image, I think it adds more to the back story of our favourite drunk.
All this will happen over the next few days. Hope the new version is better :pinkiehappy:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

Hello I'm member Bon Bon of a local writer aide group thought I could leave a review as well as a few tips!

Style in this fic was nice felt a bit indifferent which is cool something new the humor was dry and to the point.

You could use some more spacing though at spots this fic got a little hard to read, a few spelling errors but nothing serious.

Pacing was good though slowed down during the Cherilee part to the first few sentences with Lyra.

Cherilees story dropped off at the end was a OK joke though her part in the fic altogether seemed just a bit jumbled.

In all this fix was good and interesting, as for using others universes it can be hit or miss some ponies get mad if their things are used without permission others simply wish you credit them like you did st the end.

If unsure merely take a min to ask them lol.

I gave a hoof bump to this, will keep an eye out for you.

5216051 Cheers for the comment, I've decided to take your advice.
I'm currently editing the whole story, and somewhat improving the part with Lyra. Depending on how I feel about it, I may take sometime to redo the part with Cheerilee.
Still, comments are what make stories better. So, once again, cheers!

Login or register to comment