• Member Since 26th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 28th, 2022

xSorrow


I'm a guy sitting at a computer writing stories about technicolor ponies and listening to heavy metal.

T

Vinyl wakes up every night from a horrible nightmare about falling through the open sky to her demise, but the nightmares don't end. Her mental deterioration reaches its peak when she falls unconscious at a party, and then begins her search for answers.

Suffering from hallucinations and intense emotional situations, Vinyl Scratch learns to trust the ponies she holds closest as she tries to find the truth behind her nightmares in this tale of friendship and the supernatural.

Teen for dark implications, references, and occurrences.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 3 )

Her hooves flailed wildly as she spun head-over-hooves down to Equestria. The wind around her seemed to be carrying her, no, slamming her down toward the ground. Her iconic glasses fell from her face, leaving her wide red eyes exposed as she spun upside down in the free-fall. Her normally-messy mane fell into her face and obstructed her vision, making it all the more terrifying. Below was an empty field. At least she wouldn't land on anypony by accident, she thought crazily. In her panic, she didn't even think to scream. The unicorn was falling headfirst, hornfirst, into the ground, and in a moment her bones would snap as she hit the ground at Celestia-knows-what speed. She closed her eyes

Fix this. It's a wall of text. Also, you left out a period after "She closed her eyes".

Make a new paragraph at: "Her", "Below", and "The unicorn".

5277128 I left the period out intentionally because the next line says "and then Vinyl Scratch woke up screaming in her bed." I was trying out a few new writing techniques, and felt like that would help the audience understand the feeling of being pulled out of a dream at the last second.

Thanks for letting me know, though! I love having people help fix any errors I may have made. :twilightsmile:

And I noticed you followed me. Thanks so much! :pinkiehappy:

5278348 No problem. ^-^ Can't wait until next chapter.

Login or register to comment