The Night Guard - Night Mares
Taking Measure of the Steel
Academy Commandant Snowy Peaks regarded the three dangerous creatures before him with icy contempt. They represented chaos. Disorder. Destruction of all he had held dear throughout his entire service in the Royal Guard, from the time he walked through the gates of the Academy and took his oath of office until this very moment. In mere minutes, he was about to betray all of that, the infinite honor of the Royal Guard through centuries cast aside for this… frivolity.
Regrets were one thing, but he had pledged his word to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and that word — along with a direct personal order — was the only reason he even considered allowing these three onto the Royal Guard Academy training grounds. No Royal Guard had ever gone back on his word of honor, and he would not become the first, no matter the cost. But this price was high indeed.
At least his heart was lightened by the fact that one of the four had already failed to show up, leaving only three who would need to be ‘encouraged’ into abandoning their foolish quest. The Royal Guard were the best of the best, the finest stallions who had ever trod the soil of Equestria. It should only take a few days to make these weak, pathetic pretenders quit in disgrace, and return the Royal Guard to what it had always been.
“Oh, sorry I’m late! Really sorry! Sorrysorry!” A stunningly pink pegasus in a Canterlot police officer’s uniform fluttered down out of the darkening sky with a cascade of brilliant orange mane flowing out from under her cap and sweeping down her neck in a shortened tangle of braided plaits twice as long as any serving guard ever wore their own mane. Although her matching bright-orange tail was woven into a police regulation short plait, it was tied in a very non-regulation neon-pink bow with little yellow flowers on it. The constant flow of apologies from her did not stop even after she made a perfect four-point landing next to the other three uniformed mares standing outside the Commandant's office. “He didn’t want to get up this evening and it took forever to nurse and the pump wouldn’t seal, but I promise this will be the last time and once he gets used to my new schedule, I’m sure he’ll… I’m sorry?”
A hint of bafflement flickered across Commander Peaks’ stony expression as the rest of the assembled Academy training staff behind him chuckled almost below hearing range. He would have turned on them to unleash the anger that knotted his back, except that meant he would have to turn his tail on the four visually discomforted mares standing in parade rest on the Academy assembly area. Other than the new arrival, the unwanted interlopers had already been holding their positions for over an hour, and yet he recognized the same experienced set to their shoulders as his own staff displayed. If Luna had somehow forgotten about the ceremony, he could see both sets of ponies remaining standing out on the parade ground for hours, determined to outlast each other until the last one standing declared some sort of obtuse victory of the genders.
It would be a stallion, of course.
Still, it was unlikely Commander Peaks would be that lucky. Unlike Princess Celestia, whose precise schedules could be used to set a watch, Princess Luna had proven to be slightly more creative in her scheduling, although her arrival at a scheduled event was just as inevitable as the moonrise.
Not that she was late. The Lunar Princess was never late. Other ponies were early.
The schedule had originally called for the Princess of the Moon to arrive a half-hour ago for the purpose of giving some sort of encouraging speech to the four transferring policemares before they were officially sworn in as ‘Auxiliary Officers of the Royal Guard, Night Division’ and assigned to Princess Luna’s Personal Protective Unit. As much as he hated the idea of being forced to accept mares into what had been the exclusive domain of stallions for centuries, there was a little corner of his mind that had some sympathy for saddling them with that assignment. It took a particularly odd mindset to request duty inside Luna’s Domain of Darkness and Chaos, and although there had been no shortage of volunteers within the Royal Guard Academy, some of them seemed determined to frustrate his desire for a long and uneventful career that eventually would lead to becoming the Commander of the Night or Day Royal Guard like nearly every Academy Commandant before him. At least the ones who left the job with their sanity intact.
His frustration only grew when he considered that the entire disastrous idea had been triggered by some addle-pated idiot guard in the palace who lost his nerve when bringing Her Royal Highness an emergency roll — of all things — of toilet paper. Just because Princess Luna spooked some stupid stallions with that vermin she kept as a pet and her habit of casually slipping out of the darkness behind unsuspecting victims, particularly from the long sort of shadows that had begun to creep across the training grounds as the sun slipped closer to the horizon, did not grant permission for an officer of the Royal Guard to hesitate in carrying out the simplest of tasks that even a foal—
“Good evening, Commander.”
Commander Peaks most certainly did not let out a shriek, whirl around in a flurry of loose feathers, and pant in delayed panic at the sudden appearance of Princess Luna at his side. He might have uttered a small noise, turned carefully, and had a slightly elevated respiration rate at the close proximity of Her Highness to his left ear, but that was all. There was certainly no excuse for the rest of his assembled subordinates to break out in poorly stifled chuckles, and after a single glare brought them all back to proper military discipline, he turned to Princess Luna with a sharp salute.
“Your Highness, welcome to the Royal Guard Academy. As per your orders, the mares you have selected for your personal protection unit have arrived.”
“Thank you, Commander Peaks.” There was a fractional twist to the princess’ tranquil expression and one raised eyebrow that implied that she was able to read his impression of the new ‘guards’ right through his helmet. She nodded briefly before turning to face the setting sun and arranging herself for flight. “Beg pardon, for my diplomatic negotiations with the griffons have caused my schedule to be somewhat rushed as of late. We shall continue this conversation after I have completed my Royal Duty for the evening.”
There was an unmistakable majesty surrounding the Princess of the Night as she rose up into the darkening sky, and all of the noisy activity across the Academy training grounds trailed off to an attentive stillness. The sun dipped below the horizon and the resulting absolute darkness made his heart skip a beat until the cold light of the moon swept up into the sky and bathed the buildings in silver. Stars exploded into existence, spreading across the sky in swirls and bursts until the entirety of the dome of night was covered in their glory. There was an echoing sound between the buildings as every amazed guard and cadet in the Academy sucked in a breath of air and then scattered applause as Luna descended back down to the ground.
She turned to Commander Peaks with a slight nod. “Now, I understand you have some reservations about the mares I have selected for my personal protection unit. Speak.”
“Your Highness,” he began, feeling horribly off-center at the display that Princess Luna had just put on, as well as the beady opossum eyes peering out from inside her softly blowing mane, “as the Commandant of the Academy, I cannot condone releasing anypony to guard a princess who has not proved their worth in the sacred traditions of the Royal Guard.”
“Agreed,” said Luna.
“And that is why I cannot support your decision to place these four — wait. You agree?” Peaks blinked in surprise. The princess did not appear to be making a joke — as she had proved herself worthy of in a very royal fashion over the last few months — but maintained a perfectly even expression of cool royal concern.
“There has been a slight change of plans. The candidates we have selected are experienced officers in the Canterlot Police Department. We have reviewed their files and spoken with them at length. In our opinion, they are worthy of the position, however—” Luna’s voice rose just as Peaks was opening his mouth to protest “—we would be remiss if we were to ignore the advice of our trusted guard. Day Commander Swift Wings and Night Commander Buttercup both requested that the officers be exposed to the Academy for a period of time and pass the final exam before they are permitted within the ranks of our protective unit, and I have acceded to their request. As Commandant of the Academy, it shall be your responsibility to evaluate their fitness for the position over the next week, using the exact same criteria that all cadets are graded upon.”
For just a fraction of a second, Peaks could see an obsidian flash deep inside Princess Luna’s eyes that chilled him to the spine. There was no simple ice in that flicker of darkness, but the merciless cold of space that spoke volumes about the Princess of the Night’s seriousness on the topic.
~ ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~
“Just because I agreed to it, doesn't mean I have to like it,” growled Snowy Peaks as he signed his way down a stack of requisition forms in his office. “I can’t believe that she really expects a bunch of mares to pass the same tests that our Academy graduates need two years of intensive studying and training to pass. Certainly there’s some overlap with their police training, but it’s difficult to see how she can expect anything of these mares except failure.”
“Quite difficult indeed, sur.” Lieutenant Kudzu floated a second stack of forms over for his boss to sign and picked up the first set, sorting them into individual folders that glided across the room in his pale blue magic and settled into the appropriate filing cabinets. The lanky Cajun stallion had been Peaks’ aide for nearly five impeccable years of service now and could have qualified High Expert if there had been a rating in The Care and Feeding of Superior Officers. It was a comfortable position, but there were times he really wished his superior was somewhat more trainable. He coughed gently and nudged four thick folders towards Peaks before returning to his filing with a well-concealed frown. “However, if you were to review their personnel folders from the police department ahz I suggested—”
“I don’t need to look through any stupid paperwork to see how badly suited mares are for the physical rigors of the guard,” snapped Peaks. “Set up some time tomorrow night with one of the trainers who isn’t afraid to hit hard. Drill Sergeant Petunia preferably. It should take less than an hour to bloody their petite little noses and send them limping back to the Canterlot police station filing room where they belong.”
“Yes, sur,” said Kudzu, placing the last folder in the filing cabinet. “I’m surtain they’ll perform ahz expected.”
Just watch, each of them has been selected from STAFF: Special Tactics And Friendship Force.
Poor Lt Kudzu, once again demonstrating how aides and secretaries are the people who really run a democracy. And why that is often a good thing.
Also, I'm surprised the pink pegasus isn't on maternity leave if her foal is still nursing. Kinda figured Equestria would have been better about time off than that.
Can't wait to see more of this, the daily update schedule is going to rock
Oh, you poor fool...
I have to love how a mare just moved the very cosmos in front of Peaks, and yet he sees no flaws in his logic. I eagerly look forward to the counterargument.
Ok, I'm struggling with author notes. I had them in. Then FimFiction duplicated them. Then I took them out, but they still showed. So I put the brief version in comments instead, with the longer version located here if you would like to read through them.
Author's Notes - Chapter 1
I’m using the system used by police for the Royal Guard ranks as follows: Specialist/Officer - Corporal -
Inspector- Sergeant - Lieutenant - Captain - Major - Colonel - CommanderSince Commander Hurricane was the top-ranked pegasus in the EUP, it made more sense to use Police ranks than the Navy ranks where Commander is lower ranked than Captain (i.e. Shining Armor). There are three Commanders in this story’s ranking system, Commander of the Day Guard, Night Guard, and the Academy (plus training battalions). Traditionally, a retirement of the Day or Night guard commander is filled from the Academy Commandant position, which is not a rank, but the title held by whoever is in charge of the institution⁽*⁾. The position is most commonly given with a promotion to the rank of Commander, but it can be held by a lower-ranked officer at times while promotions are in the pipeline.
Captains are responsible for larger overall sections of the guard, such as the Personal Protection Details, each individual one of which are supervised by a Lieutenant, or coordinating the defense of an entire city (Shining Armor is best example here), or if a section of the Guard were to be peeled off to protect an ally, such as the Crystal Empire, thereby making Shining Armor the Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard detailed to the Crystal Empire (Northern Guard Expeditionary Unit), and the Prince Consort of the same empire, depending on which hat he wears. With the first, he’s a subordinate of Princess Celestia, with the other, he’s a Head of State of an allied sovereign country within the borders of Equestria proper. If the Crystal Empire ever raised the flag of revolt against Equestria, it would be Shining Armor’s job to fight himself. You know, there’s a whole story just waiting to be written there…
“Ahem.” Sergeant Quartz looked a little conflicted himself as he tried to avoid looking at Prince Consort Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire, and coincidently at his commanding officer, Captain Shining Armor of the Equestrian Royal Guard. “It’s traditional in the Crystal Guard for the commander to advance and parley with the commander of the opposing forces.”
Shining Armor looked at the Royal Guard Expeditionary Unit drawn up on the opposite side of the icy plain. “You mean not only do I have to fight myself, but I have to go out between our two units and try to negotiate a surrender with myself?”
“Yes, sir!” The crystal earth pony set himself in a rigid and quite proud pose. “The Crystal Guard has never surrendered. Feel free to offer them generous terms.”
(*) There’s a parallel for those of you who have watched Hogan’s Heroes. Colonel Klink was the Commandant of Stalag 13, and was referenced by both titles. I would like to add that I’m not military, and if any of you who are military see something obvious I goofed up, feel free to drop me a PM and I’ll get it fixed.
5308213 Please also note how he's grousing about sending the mares back to the police filing room while talking to his aide, who is... filing.
5308166 Normal leave accumulates with time in service, and Thermal is just barely over a year, two at the most, with considerable leave taken to date during the eleven months of pregnancy. We had a secretary (or administrative assistant) at work here with much the same issue. Some of this story is told with the Voice of Experience (although I have never walked in on a 'pumping' mother, I did grow up on a dairy farm).
5308145 You do bring up a point. I don't differentiate much between staff and line positions here, although all four of these mares are in hooves-on positions in the police department. Miss Grace would be the closest to a staff position in the Internal Affairs position, while Banehammer would be the last pony you would want as staff. And FYI: Cutie marks are as follows:
Grace - Camera (Photographic memory)
Banehammer - Cookie (for cookies, duh)
Thermal - V inside a V (Focus)
Rose - Question Mark (able to determine motives)
Commander Peaks - Three feathers (organizing)
Kudzu - kudzu (persistance)
Commander Buttercup - quarter-moon (organizing)
Commander Swift Wings - a 'swoosh' (rapid tactical reactions)
Can't wait to find out more about our new recruits, Pinkie (no one that one ) must be keen if she's joining up just after having a foal.
Good
It begins
Looking forward! (Though that should be a given, what with the prequel's honors and all.) Already we're getting hints of some colorful characters and of the fault lines which the story will break open.
Ha, you did a nice job setting up Snowy Peaks to get shown up hard when the time comes. He is perfectly positioned to look quite foolish.
Nice shout out to Gandalf's line in Lord of the Rings about Wizards always being on time.
Meaning this Seagant Petunia is going to be in the hospital wing for a month when the mares get through with him.
I highly recommend that Kudzu get transferred to Celestia's body guard detail, he's way to good to waste on Peaks... whose name seems to imply he has spent to much time up in the air and the parts of his brain containing common sense have withered away.
5308145
5308166 He's a Beleagured Assistant, the poor guys needs to get some love from all four of the new recruits.
5308213 You know, this might be Celestia's way of getting him out of the way so a better instructor can take over. she's giving him plenty of rope to hang himself with.
Snowy Peaks, you think that alone will stop the mares? You dun goofed.
5308215
Please do this. Please. After you've finished this wonderful piece of course.
5308213
There is no contradition in his eyes: Luna is superior to him by virtue of being an immortal, demigod-level princess, no by gender. Think a 1950 British officer snoring at the thought of women fighting in the Army, yet still saying aloud "For the Queen and Country!"
Greetings,
Just read the first chapter. The story looks promising and I like how you've decided to address the reason why we see only stallions as Celestia's bodyguards. Though I did have to chuckle when the Commandant described the Royal Guard as a super elite unit, even though their record in the series hasn't been that good. Okay, I understand them not being able to handle Nightmare Moon, that's fine. However, the Changeling invasion was, I believe, fully in their abilities to repel. But that's neither here or there.
I do have a few questions, though. Nitpicks really, nothing serious.
Considering that the majority of ponies seems to be mares, it is somewhat unusual that it has taken so long for mares to be accepted in the Royal Guard. Then again, this is supposed to be an elite unit, so it's reasonable that it wouldn't follow the general trends.
I am somewhat puzzled that a trainer of such an elite unit wouldn't bother reading the new recruits' files. It doesn't matter if the mares are completely unsuited for the training, you determine that by reading their files, not by looking at them. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Then again, the unit is supposed to have centuries old traditions and is, in a way, stuck in the past (that would also explain why this "elite" unit failed to fight back the Changelings), so a grumpy leader, who is stuck in his ways, makes sense.
Anyway, I'll be keeping an eye on this story.
Not even bothering to read their files? Nothing good can come of this!
Time ta get all G.I. Jane up in here!
You don't even know how long I have awaited this. And now it has arrived! REJOICE!
5312396
I'd be rather surprised at a British officer saying that in 1950.
5313163 Don't be too hard on him. We Americans can't be expected to keep track of when the throne belonged to King George VI.
5313488 Hey, I had to look it up too. :)
5312798 He learns.
5312537 Please note: He's in Denial at this stage. To actually *read* the files might tell him something he does't want to hear right now.
5311213 Somehow I can see a permanent posting at the castle just to keep all of Princess Celestia's titles arranged correctly.
This...
Is...
EXCELLENT!!!
Fantastic reference material for Slice of Life!
Excellent start to this, it'll be fun watching Peaks take some karma to the face.
Also, that Shining Armor vs. Shining Armor fic sounds hilarious.
5308215
You will note that he didn't say as who expected.
Peaks: THEY WHAT?!
Kudzu: Exactly ahz Princess Luna expected sur.
5312537
The way Luna first worded it in the first story indicated that there used to be mares in the guard before her banishment.
5308145
the STARS group of Canterlot.
About 50 years after.
Well, this hits oddly in 2021. Not that it really meant to but hoo boy the sexism comes on thick rather than parodical.