Tank's Most Awesome Day
Tank was an awesome tortoise and he knew it. How did he know this?
Well, first of all, he had an awesome owner—Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash was the awesomest owner a tortoise could have. He had saved her from a rock using his awesome tortoise strength.
Secondly, he had a pair of pimp shades. Every awesome tortoise had a pair of pimp shades. It was just a fact of life. Awesome tortoises had pimp shades. Everyone knew that.
Third of all, he had helicopter blades attached to his back. He didn’t know any other tortoises that had helicopter blades attached to their back. The fact that he didn’t know any other tortoises was irrelevant.
Lastly, he had just been teleported to a place that seemed to be made of stars and Princess Luna was standing in front of him. This was outside of his field of experience but quickly deduced it to be awesome because it was happening to him.
The princess was looking at him, taking in his awesome tortoiseness. She seemed to be drinking in every inch of his hunky tortoise self, lost in his maleness. She pursed her lips, then spoke.
“Tank, is it?”
Tank quickly threw on his pimp shades. “Yes, baby?”
“Good, you can understand me,” Luna said with a giggle. “At least some things haven’t changed. Do you know why you’re here?”
Tank looked around, taking in his celestially funkadelic surroundings. “Probably because I’m so undisputably awesome, girl.”
Luna put a hoof to her mouth and chuckled. “Quite the charmer, aren’t you?” she said as she rested her hoof. “I haven’t been called a girl in ages—oh, but we’re getting off track. You can shower me with compliments later.”
“No probs, honey,” Tank said as he pointed a foot at her and winked. She probably couldn’t see it through his pimp shades, but he knew you always winked at a fly honey.
Luna tittered. “Oh, honey, that’s a new one.” Luna then cleared her throat and collected herself. “Anyway, the reason you are here is because you rescued one of the Element Bearers from certain death some time ago. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah, I remember that. I pushed a rock off of her wing with my awesome tortoise strength!”
Luna nodded. “Yes, that incident, where afterwards my sister enchanted some blades to grant you flight.”
“Yeah, that was pretty dope,” Tank said with a sigh. “By the way, your sister’s got a sweet rump. Any chance of her coming around here anytime soon?”
“No, I’m afraid her presence would be pointless, for she cannot talk to animals,” Luna said. “I am here to grant you—”
Princess Luna arched an eyebrow at Tank. “Did you just say my sister had a… sweet rump?”
Tank nodded. “Yeah, I did. Because she does.”
“But what about—” Luna shook her head. “Anyway, for your supreme act of friendship, I am here to grant you the greatest gift ponykind has to offer.”
“A date with you?”
“A date with me?” Luna asked as she chortled and put a hoof to her chest. “Oh, no, although I’m quite flattered that you think that’s the greatest gift we have to offer.”
“No probs, babe.”
“Likewise,” Luna said with a smile. “No, the greatest gift we have to offer is alicornhood, although in your case you wouldn’t become an alicorn.”
Tank’s heart leapt in his chest. He thought she had just said that he would become an alicorn, selectively ignoring the noise after the word ‘alicornhood’.
“Excuse me?” he asked, playing it cool.
“That’s right. You would not become an alicorn. Although after playing around with the language a bit, Celestia and I have decided that the proper nomenclature for what you would become is a ‘torticorn’.”
“Torticorn?”
“That is correct,” Luna said with a curt nod.
“So that means… horn, wings, the whole shebang.”
“Most certainly.”
“But I’d still be my awesome tortoise self.”
“Indeed you would.”
“Well,” Tank said as he removed his shades, “what are we waiting for? Let’s get this show on the road!”
“We probably should,” Luna said as her horn glowed cerulean.
“Just do me one favor,” Tank said.
“And what would that be?”
“Stay beautiful.”
Luna blushed. “Don’t worry. I will.”
Tank came to inside of Rainbow Dash’s awesome cloud home. He looked around, noticing a certain… energy that hadn’t been present before, swiveling his head back to notice a wing sticking out of his shell. He flapped it, stoked that he was indeed even more awesome than before. He turned his head to face an apple his totally awesome owner had laid out for him. He steeled his gaze at the apple.
Well, time to see how awesome I really am!
He reached out with the new energy afforded to him, gently grasping the apple in his awesome torticorn magic. Lifting it was an issue, though, as he struggled with the unfamiliar weight, finally hoisting it into the air. Levitating it over to his mouth proved to be a much easier task as he effortlessly floated it over and took a triumphant bite of the apple, feeling the juice dribble down his chin in victory.
He heard the door open behind him. “Hey, Tank, I’m back from—” Rainbow Dash said before he heard a thud of what he assumed to be goods from her weekly market run.
“Are those… wings? And a horn?”
Tank looked back and nodded, taking in his owner’s flabbergasted expression as he took another bite of his apple.
Rainbow’s look of shock spread into a wide grin as she dashed in and hugged Tank. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh, you really are the most awesome best pet ever!”
Yeah, I know, Tank thought as he basked in the adulation of his owner and took another bite of his apple.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Majin Syeekoh · 1.1k words · 134 3 · 2.8k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1k words · 129 5 · 2.6k views
- PegasusMesa · 20k words · 27 17 · 656 views
- Gleaming · 1.5k words · 37 4 · 1.2k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1k words · 162 7 · 2.3k views
- Regina Wright · 3.2k words · 15 0 · 563 views
- Glimglam · 3.7k words · 108 4 · 1.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.285 seconds
Total duration
913 users online
488,616 hits today, 2,834,785 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is before reading but I can only wonder about the Luna and Tank tag at the bottom. Also, I approve of the word Awesome, Day and Most in this fic.
Edit: After reading, I can guarantee that this story is awesome. images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/27000000/Tank-tank-the-tortoise-27042509-500-337.jpg
Like a true G. Who knew that Tank was such a ladies . . . tortoise. Either way, this was hilarious, and I think Luna x Tank is OTP.
5509921
5509931
5509935
I'd like to thank you all for the glowing recommendation.
And yes. Tank is boss.
5509948
Tank is literally THE boss. Celestia comes to him for advice on how to rule sometimes, but it is under strict confidentiality, hence why Luna doesn't know.
Yes. Just yes! Tank is now my most favorite animal MLP character of all time for this.
i.imgur.com/9zRCJfM.png
that was silly. i liked it.
5509963 Celestia raises the sun for Tank every time he wants to put on his dope shades.
5509967 Tank is indeed the lewdest.
5509971
You don't want to know what she lowers the sun for.
Ah Tank, the best alicorn pimp in town, now a toricorn.
5510004
5510007
They call him . . . the pimpicorn.
Wait a minute..
Wings, spikes(okay, horn)... He's the fucking death-on-swift-wings shell from Mario Kart! That son of a whore! Quick, turn him over on his back to keep the jerk out of professional kart racing!
*Clicks upvote at 5:0*
*Goes to 16:1*
Well, that was quick.
Hahaha, this was great. Tank is the most awesome torticorn ever. Now Rainbow just needs to paint him blue and his awesomeness shall be absolute!
i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b555/Adrenalatic1/1stPlace_zps2fb4ec47.png
(If someone could find the source for this that would be cool)
5510040
You're too late! Mwahaha!
I imagine that Tank's voice sounds like Space Dandy's.
Yep, definitely using that as a pick-up line one of these days.
There is no other way to describe it. Just
.
5510057
Tank: Just stay dandy, baby.
i.imgur.com/whFdXVm.gif
5510018 Mind.Blown.
This needs a Sequal. Followed by at least six more, with each one more awesome than the last. I always knew Tank was a bad-ass, the moment he pulled out his pimp shades in the show was automatic proof.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read. It wasn't just awesome either. It was tort-awesome!!!
5510355 It is indeed tort-awesome.
Hilariously cracked
And im over 90% done with all of yoru stories
You know, for a 1,001 word story, this isn't half bad.
5510415 Thanks.
Have fun in the feature box!
Who would win in an alicorn fight? Torticorn or Princess Bloomberg?
img1.derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/20/453195__safe_solo_meme_artist+needed_alicorn_wat_spread+wings_apple_tree_wings.png
Why isn't this featured yet?
That tortoise has swag.
I want a Tank x Luna continuation now.
Tank is best pet!
Yet another awesome story by The Great and Talented Syeekoh! I am not worthy
5511330 DO ET DO ET DO EEEEET!!!
5510853 Depends if Tank got a speed boost and if Bloomberg had the reaction time and fury of a whomping willow.
...wut...????
Tank!
BEST TURTLE EVER!
5512799 Indeed he is.
5512937 TORTOISE PERCENT COOLER!
11/pie
In your face Angel Bunny!
STILL want to race?
Torticorn vs Hare... Let's do this!
5512979 ...we talked about this already, but in the base that allows p as a number, that's a terrible ratio.
This story is awesome and funny.
Fimfic reader 1 (my friend): "What does the page say about the fic's word count?"
Fimfic reader 2 (me): "It's over 1000!"
Fimfic reader 1: "whut?"
An actual conversation...
This is the kind of shit that makes this site great
We should all strive to be as awesome as Tank.
Stay awesome man
I imagined Tank in this story had the same voice as Mr. Gus from Uncle Grandpa.
I was reading this in bed and giggled so hard I woke my wife and cat. Kudos!
This needs a Comedy tag!
Looks like someone has been reading the Journal of the Two Sisters. (So have I.)
Did you know that tortoises cannot die of old age? So it is possible that Tank already knew Celestia and Luna.
I imagined Tank's voice as Scootaloo's from the Mentally Advanced Series. HOO!
~KBO.
This is so dumb.
Oh, I snickered mightily. It lives up to its tag. It works.
But this is so dumb.
Tank eats an apple to look like even more of an asshole.
Honestly this is the kind of insanity that gives me hope that we aren't doomed to a lack of creativity in the near future, good work.
Tank is best princess.