• Member Since 5th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

ClockworkShield


Hello. I am Clockwork Shield. I am new to the whole fanfic writer thing and have gotten some chapters of my own. Hope you enjoy them!

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A brony wakes up one morning after going home with a girl he met at a bar one night to find out he is in Equestria and has been turned into a pony. He goes to the Mane 6 to ask them to help him find a way back. Little does he know of the adventure he is about to take, or the forces that brought him here in the first place.

This is my first fanfic that i have gone through putting up. please use any constructive criticism you see fit.

also, as a warning the story is going to be somewhat grimdark or just plain dark as the chapters go on. Its going to be a bit lewd as well at times. So i'm going to give a heads up to that.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 9 )

And second Chapter is up. please, to anyone who sees this, please leave a comment stating what you think of it.:pinkiehappy:

1931851...:derpyderp1:

Wow. Thanks for the description of my mistakes man. Now let me be so kind as to answer a couple of those comments. Not being cynical or anything, just showing respect and clearing the air a bit.

Before we start I just want to say thank you for telling me about the vague descriptions in my story. Like I said in the summary this is my first fanfic that i went through. The reason it is is because this was the only one, mlp related or otherwise, that wasn't written in a way that would utterly confuse readers. However, i thank you for showing me them and i will look over the stories and make the necessary changes.

Now that that is out of the way, the first thing I will cover is the personalities. The reason they're not so fleshed out is because this is mainly a test to see how good I am right now. I know that I don't have a good way to explain things, so I am using the story as practice, and making the changes via what readers say about it. Also, I'm basically following how the show worked. Having the main characters being shown by their basic personalities, then work on them as the story progresses, gradually tweaking them to how i would like them in the story. So basically, this is all an experiment in writing.

In terms of the protagonist, there is a reason he is as is. If you haven't noticed it yet, his personality is a bit mixed up: he will go from one emotion and mindset to another very quickly. This was on purpose and will be explained within the next couple of chapters. Also, his human name, along with backstory, will be announced along with this.

Now, again, thanks for pointing out the grammatical errors and the vague descriptions. again, this falls down to me having trouble explaining things. I will reread the chapters after i finish the one i am currently working on and make the changes when i post said chapter.

story-wise, the reason they accept the term so quickly is also another character trait of his, one that I either made too subtle or just dropped off without realizing. He's has a way of persuading others, often using traits he knows the others have and use them as a way of convincing even the most unbelievable things. Also, given the fact that, this story takes place between Canterlot Wedding and Crystal Empire, and they have gone up against an Immortal mare who wants night to last forever, an infestation of little fairy-looking creatures that eat anything in sight, the living Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony who is a amalgamation of different animals wanting to bring chaos across the land, a legion of shapeshifting insectoid creatures with holes in they're legs that feast off the love of others, et cetera, et cetera. i think that a pony coming to your house and saying that they are a creature from another world, although extremely weird, isn't as much of something out of left field as the other things they have dealt with, and need to keep a close eye on.

Whelp, i hope i explained myself well enough. If not, feel free to ask anything you're still hung up on. thanks again.:pinkiehappy:

YESSSSSSSSSSS! this is great!

5780761 good to hear! Kinda in a slump on wriing the next chapter, but i will get one going!

I like were this is going.:twilightsmile: Is Nick going to be all 'Iron Pony' style on these mysterious shadow ponies? :pinkiehappy:

6120589 you'll have to wait and see. The next couple chapters will explain everything that happened in the fight.

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