DAWN OF THE FINAL WEEK
-72 Hours Remain-
Several generations of children had passed through the admittedly small schoolhouse out on the outskirts of the Ponyville border. It was a traditionally small building that had been around for several decades, and quite simply nopony had ever gotten around to expanding it. It was nearing summer, and the end of the educational season was on the tip of tongues of children everywhere. Then there would be the time of much rejoicing, especially over the fact they can sleep in on Mondays. But next week was an entire weekend away, and there was still Thursday and Friday to get through.
Miss Cheerilee had been busily writing a homework assignment on the board with chalk, ears twitching as she tried to tune herself into the chatter of the students behind her. It was required multitasking, as she always had to be on her guard to prevent any of the children from becoming too disruptive.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Cheerilee said, turning around as the chatter and excitement grew to a level just short of breaking out in uncontrollable anarchy. “Settle down, please!”
The commotion died down, but did not cease entirely. It was enough of a calm to allow her to continue, at least. The desks were arranged in rows of three, and though the Cutie Mark Crusaders always tried to get the top three desks, they were rarely so lucky. All three of them usually managed to get in the first two rows, however, but this meant somepony had to sit next to Diamond Tiara. Today, Scootaloo had drawn the short straw, and her irritable mood reflected this.
“As you all know, next week is the 50th anniversary of the school’s founding,” Cheerilee announced. “There will be many events throughout the week, including an appearance by the Mayor.” This was meant to be exciting news, but it wasn’t as if Princess Cadence was visiting, and several students groaned. A visit from the Mayor was, like, totally lame, and many had been expecting something… well, a bit more elaborate. Like a clown. Or even school being out. Actually, yeah, that last bit sounded pretty awesome to just about everyone.
“Tomorrow is the last chance to finish your projects for next week, and then they will be set up over the weekend as part of our wonderful Founders Display. At the conclusion of the week, we will be burying a time capsule,” Cheerilee said. “I want all of you to participate. The capsule will be buried with the intention of being dug up on the 100th anniversary of the school, and I expect it to contain contributions from all of my talented students.”
“Miss Cheerilee?” Diamond Tiara raised her hoof from her seat in the front. “Will those of us who don’t have any talent be allowed to participate?”
Scootaloo, not in any mood to take her crap, glared at her with indignation.
“Everypony will be helping,” Cheerilee said firmly. “And since you’re so keen to be part of it, you can start by cleaning the chalkboard after everypony else has left. Again.”
Behind her, Apple Bloom snickered. Diamond Tiara harumphed.
After the others had left, only Cheerilee remained, grading the assignments that had been turned in that day, and Diamond Tiara was busily scrubbing the board, fuming reproachfully at the chore. She had absolutely no intention of going to the stupid celebration, and was already scheming several ways of getting out of it.
With the board squeaky clean, Diamond stubbornly threw the sponge down into the soapy water with a splash. Said splash caught her in the face and drenched her muzzle in soapy suds. “Can I go now?” she asked, angrily wiping her face.
Cheerilee looked up from her papers. “I don’t know,” she said patiently. “Can you?”
“That’s why I’m asking you.”
Cheerilee nodded. “Yes, and I’m asking you if you ‘can' go?”
Diamond’s patience skipped a beat, then she groaned. She had several comebacks planned, but there would be no sense in getting herself in trouble right now, and bit her tongue. “Oh for Celestia’s sake… fine. May I go now?”
“Yes, thank you,” Cheerilee replied. “Maybe tomorrow you’ll think twice before making fun of the other students. And if you don’t, I can always use my board washed again.”
“Whatever,” Diamond said, and left the schoolhouse, slamming the door behind her.
It was quite a few blocks back to her admittedly large home, which could even qualify as a mansion according to whom you asked. She had to first walk through the section of town inhabited by the commoners, before she could get to the more wealthy estates. The lower class referred to the mansions as eyesores, the upper class referred to them as standard living. Diamond was one of the latter folks, and always referred to the ‘mansion’ part with her nose in the air and a snobbish tone of superiority.
She walked through the gate, which closed and locked on its own behind her with the aid of some long since cast unicorn magic, and opened the front door to the house. The family pet pig, a despicable, dirty creature whom she held no affection for, came running up to greet her. She still had no idea why they kept the thing, but apparently her father had won it in some card game years ago and being the cheapskate he was, decided it made for a more convenient pet than a cat or dog. The animal gave off its usual array of grunts and squeals, and Diamond made a face of repulsion.
“Down, Abner,” she scolded, and the pig quieted at once.
“Daddy, I’m home!” she called. No answer, per the usual. He rarely answered, rarely even bothered to show acknowledgement of her existence at all when they weren't out making public appearances. On those occasions, she was his number one priority and favorite daughter. Well, his only daughter, but that still counts.
As Abner went about his business of trying to nibble the hairs of her tail, a wickedly devious plan that ran its course through her head in a matter of seconds in a sudden flash of brilliance. It was a stretch, and probably wouldn't even be all that believable, but if she could pull it off, she wouldn't have to worry about attending one of those stupid Founders Day celebrations or any other asinine event at her school ever again.
Diamond removed her sacred tiara and placed it on the pig’s head, an act that was no small feat. She didn’t want any part of her touching the animal, and she made a mental note to have the tiara incinerated and the ashes buried as soon as possible when this was all over. Daddy would simply buy her a new one, after all.
Looking the pig over, the filly huffed. Abner basically looked like a pig with a fancy tiara on his head, with that same stupid grin stuck on his face. It was a stretch, but it would have to do. The pig would simply have to attend the celebrations in her place. Nodding with satisfaction, Diamond moved off to the kitchen for her after school juice, just as her father emerged from his upstairs study and gazed down at the front entryway.
“Good afternoon, precious!” he called. “I thought I heard you come in. How was school?” He looked at his pocketwatch, as if the conversation was on a schedule, costing him time, money, or both.
Abner gave a throaty, resounding grunt. Or a fart. Really, it could be either one.
“Very good, very good, keep up the good work!” Filthy Rich replied, and returned to his study. As much as he wanted to stay out here gabbing with his daughter, there were important things to be done and money to be made.
Oblivious, Diamond Tiara returned from the kitchen a few moments later. She looked at the pig, the animal still wearing her Tiara, and felt her usual sense of deep, seething loathing. The pig was not intentionally meant to take her place, or serve as a clone by any means, but meant to represent some sort of satirical metaphor of how she felt about the school, and by association, the entire educational system. She felt like a pig in a sty, being penned in that little classroom for hours on end, day in and day out, being pumped full of useless knowledge.
Diamond glared at the pig with dislike, and the animal just stared back at her with completely oblivious toleration. She’d send the pig to school on Monday, which left with her only Friday to attend class and suffer through the usual tedium of lessons until the weekend. That was all well and good, but there was still one issue left to be resolved. She wanted to see the looks on the faces of her classmates as a pig entered the classroom in her place. They would know it wasn't her, of course, she was FAR prettier than the pig, but the statement had to be made.
The young filly hurried back outside into the late afternoon and made her way towards the center of town, weaving and dodging between the ponies who were too slow to get out of her way. She raised her hoof and knocked forcefully on the large wooden door that was inset into the bottom of one of the biggest trees in town.
Twilight Sparkle opened the door, blinking in the sun. She looked confused for a moment, then her gaze lowered, and fell upon the child who’d summoned her as one might summon Cthulu, although the latter was much more dangerous and time intensive.
“Yes?” Twilight asked. She knew it was one of Sweetie Belle’s little friends, but couldn't place the name.
Diamond Tiara forced a cough. “I’m not feeling well,” she whispered in a hoarse voice. “Ah-choo.” She sniffed. “I have school tomorrow, and I’d hate to miss out on learning. School is so important after all.”
Twilight gasped. “Thank you! That’s what I keep saying, but nopony will listen!”
“Can you magic up some sort of video device so that I can still watch my lessons from home?” She asked.
Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. “I think I can do something like that,” she said. “Wait right here!”
The purple unicorn disappeared into the Library, and there were rummaging sounds, as well as a particularly male cry of dismay.
“Hey!”
“I’m sorry, I need this! I’ll get you a bigger one, I promise! Somepony’s education is at stake!”
Diamond blinked.
Twilight returned after several minutes with two decent sized red gemstones on strings, and handed them over.
“Just give this to one of your friends to wear,” she said. “The first one will act as a camera, allowing you to see the feed from the second.” She sounded rather proud of this. “Now you can learn from home! I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I could mass produce these, and then children could all stay and learn from home, never having to go to school again!” She paused at this, continuing her own thought. "Thus rendering schools obsolete... that's why I never thought of it before." She smiled weakly. "Never mind."
Diamond broke into a wide, eagerly unnerving smile. “Thank you, Twilight, it’s perfect.” She blinked suddenly, and gave off another forceful cough. “Achoo,” she said, for added effect. “I better get home and get to bed so I don’t miss any more school than I have to.” She waved to Twilight, and headed away, while the unicorn waved back.
“Don’t overexert yourself!” She called. “I’ll come and tutor you myself if you’re not feeling better! We can be study buddies! How fun is that?”
“I’d rather sit on a porcupine,” Diamond muttered, looking down at the gemstones wrapped around one hoof.
“What?” Twilight called, already receding out of earshot. “I didn’t hear you!”
“I said that sounds just fine!” Diamond called back.
When she returned home, one of the gems was slung over the pigs neck, and the other placed by her bed. It was almost the weekend, and as of Monday she could stay home all week and read comics, while watching the pig cause all sorts of disruption.
This was going to be great.
I swear to God, of that title is not an Epicmealtime reference, I'm going to have Muscles Glasses beat you with a bottle of Jackie Delicious.
5615910 38.media.tumblr.com/561c46d687dbf7d95473f4995c0ff3ef/tumblr_moezwjazmc1spamspo1_500.gif
5615936 Have no fear: Jackie Declicious is Epic Meal Slang for Jack Daniels.
And is that a .gif of Stitch breaking his finger?
Time capsule + pig = This will certainly end well.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw835_Applejuke.gif
aye, I have yet to even read the story but you are getting a like and a comment just from the description of the story XD
Diamond needs cured,
Who porked her?
She'll be bacon a few months
Is Abner a kin to Arnold Ziffel?
Wow. This was really good. Beautiful set up. And I love the concept. This is a collaboration with Rainbow Bob? I might have to read some of his stories.
I would love to see what happens next, so I will favorite and like.
~KBO.
5616193 I was actually amused that it got a dislike mere seconds after being posted, so I guarantee someone just went "Diamond Tiara? NNNNNNNOOOOOOPE." Silly reader.
5616193
YEAH YOU MIGHT!
EH?!
EHHHHHH?!
This will not go well for her
You got me on bacon. That's why I know this gonna be good.
Well... This is going to be one of the classics isn't it?
Oh ho, this looks like it's gonna be good. Not for DT, of course, but definitely for us!
Oh, this is going to be good.
And I loved Twilight answering her own question, that was great.
The only thing stopping me from liking this is that there is currently "42" likes.
Edit: Screw it, I'm liking it anyway.
Oh your God, I figured it out. The pig is Discord.
5621849 Discords actually not even in this x3 but good try
This is going to be fun, I can feel it. My first thought after having that one was "Now what's the most efficient way to suck the fun out of this?". AND EUREKA! Rather than a video camera, DT just gets a disguise and accidentally becomes friends with everypony, thus redemption!