Pea Gravel isn't from Equestria, she's from another land across the sea, far to the east. Out there, ponies are low, if not the bottom, on the civil food chain. When she escapes to the mythic land of 'The Sun Goddess', she finds what she expected, almost.
When Equestrians ask to hear tales of the world outside it's romanticized fiction: To Pea, it's the cold hard truth.
Naive to this 'Old World', Rainbow Dash and Daring Do follow Pea Gravel both seeking adventure different to Equestrian life; perhaps they will bite off more than they canchew.
Rated Mature for: Language, graphic violence, sexual themes and use of drugs
This story was originally created by Barnside.
Currently being edited and clarified with grammar and storyline fixes.
Chapters (44)
Not bad. I think Ill see where this goes.
Good story.
Due to plot threads happening later on in the story, I'm changing the rating from Teen to Mature.
If you aren't a fan of the more...morbid fanfics, (don't worry I wont go Cupcakes on yo ass) I apologize. If you do like them, stick around! You'll enjoy it...hopefully...
i think you mean whether
Well...at least people are still reading enough to tell me where my mistakes are.
Starting this tomorrow but if it's good I'll promote it for you.
6176942 Well alrighty then, looking forward to the results.
A LOT of spelling and grammar issues that delayed me from focusing on finishing this chapter much faster but it was great!
6179962 Thank's for the feedback, it really is nice when people tell me what they feel about what I post. I'm in the process of having an editor, but he's a busy guy (on and off the site)
6179733 oh, and tell the folks I'm sorry for keeping you so long.
Great chapter.
Good for her and her little victory
6195014 What, to much?
can someone give me the book
i love it
i like it
6335078 Thanks, glad to hear from my readers
So glad I'm reading this.
Lots of mistakes but easily ignorable.
Very good chapter
Really jumpy, I kinda got lost in the grammar and tense errors as well as repeating words.
Was this chapter necessary?
Not a bad chapter but I don't feel a connection to the story thus far.
Ah, this is much gooder.
Great chapter
Heh. That last pun
Love this chapter.
The flashback was so immersive.
6375747 thanks mocha
Well, I can't wait to see what volm has planned.
Oh my gosh!
Loved this chapter so much
This is so enchanting.
Three days to read up to here. ..
6380393 glad you made it
6382432
I'm so anxious.
How long to the next chapter, and the next 12.
Pm me spoilers if u have to.
This looks like an interesting premise, yet so few votes!
This one's going on my RL for sure.
I'm looking forward to seeing every single one of those centaurs, especially that Natabirus, get their asses kicked for how they've treated these poor ponies.
6500885 Thanks for checking out FoF! We'll get those centaurs yet!
6500451 Thanks! Stay tuned, it's only gonna get crazier here on in
Tell me what chapter I can find the sex on and I'll read said chapter.
oh Really?
I like what you have here, but to put into note the mood swings in each of the characters is too much. My head is in a roller coaster trying to keep up.
can you please slow down with the emotions.
sooo new writer huh... i wonder how thing will go
i know everyone but the princesses dont deserve it......BUT they had it comming.
And meanwhile everyone falls right into ALL of Volms manipulations... (You know thinking back to the Royale canterlot wedding... its not surprising they fucking trust him)
I like this story but it feels like It's rushing to fast with the characters.
Well... I tried to give this a shot, but the characters are just plain unlikable. First off, Applejack is way out of character from what I've seen of her. Just from the little interaction between her and PG in the barn. It's not something I can quite put my finger on with my sleep deprived brain, but it bugs the shit out of me.
Next you have Twilight, who goes from commanding, to demanding and finally to smiling/kind. All within the span of a few sentences. That kind of transition would make a bipolar person envious.
Then onto PG and her little colt, Tuff. I feel like you're pretty much rolling with the "My character is tough" angle and trying to get everything else to work off of that, rather than trying to get it to work within specific instances that the story goes through. You give her mechanical arms/legs and never explain them (pretty much expecting us to go "Well this is normal, so I can ignore it"). You have that little talk with AJ that could have let us see into the life of PG in the outside world, but you instead use it to once again go with the "My character is tough" schtick and cause AJ to freak out. This is the Element of Honesty. She should be able to tell that PG isn't just making stuff up to threaten her, and scream at her like a whiny filly.
Then you have the interaction between PG and Twilight. I can understand the angle you're trying to go for here with how she talks with Twilight, as in a lot of cases in poorer/less developed countries, you don't want to be noticed by those in charge. It tends to lead to complications for you in the long run. However, Twilight pretty much shows no acknowledgement of that fact and instead starts to go on about: "My friend thinks you're dangerous. A fellow, trusted author has met you and thinks you're odd/threatening. A good friend of mine thinks you're also dangerous as well... let's invite you into my home." None of it makes sense, and it just feels... wrong.
That was pretty much where I stopped caring, and subsequently stopped reading. Nothing about this story makes me want to continue on with it to find out what happens next.
Dear god it's been quite awhile since I last time checked this story out.
I wonder what have changed since then
rainbow is overestimating her friends.
8476501
It's been a solid 4 years since I've worked on this series. I have most of it saved but it's wild to look back.
7280136
Well said. It's been actual years since I've written this but I am glad you took the time to put this fic in it's place, out-of-character stuff shouldn't be tolerated. I had basically written a novel with mlp characters thrown in, cringe but we all start somewhere.
6500885
The day that never came, or at least not to the excessively bloody conclusion I had envisioned years ago. But I hope you got a kick or two out of it.
10527245
Honestly, yeah! This series had no pacing and got wild FAST.