"Cave Johnson here, and we have a doozy for the test today. Our scientists spent all last night designing this glove that gives the user the superpower that they've always wanted. I tried it, and the sky rained companion cubes. I was disintegrating those things for weeks. But back to science, I have Shyflutter here with me, since she's volunteering to be our first volunteer. Go on, say hello to the invisable crowd of people watching us." Fluttershy was hiding behind her chair. She slowely poked her head out.
"Mr. Johnson sir, it's Flut-" Fluttershy attempted to say, before getting cut off.
"Flutters, you can't hide behind that chair all day, there's science to be done."
"O-okay, but my name is-"
"No time for names, put on this glove."
"But I can't... I'm really sorry..."
"Why? What's the problem?"
"No no, you should just find another pony."
"No, I need you for this."
"Are you sure? Do you really want to know what's wrong?"
"Yes!"
"Well, we don't have hands nor fingers, I can't wear this, it's an ugly green and purple, it's glued not stitched, the amount of energy coming off that thing could kill us all if it failed, and Celestia banned science after the goop and ninjas attacked Canterlot." Johnson stood there, wide-eyed at the large amount of problems that she found. He never thought she could complain like that.
"I see your problems, but you can just slip it over your hoof, Shutterfly."
"It want me to, I guess I could do that."
"Now that's what I like to hear, here's the glove." Cave handed the glove to Fluttershy, who then slipped it over her hoof.
"So, how do I use it?"
"I have no idea, we never got that far testing." Fluttershy got scared and tried to take the glove off, but turned into a tree as she touched the glove. "Huh, so that's how it works. That reminds me, what did I do with that poorly drawn guy, I think he called himself Treeman."
Cave then shrugged, and left the lab to find other test subjects.
An hour later.
"I will punch thee with tofu!" Princess Luna yelled at Celestia as she assaulted her with rectangular-shaped tofu. They both stood in the throne room, with blown-up chunks of wall missing and a Canadian licking a keyboard spinning in the corner.
"When did you learn the art of tofu?!" Celestia asked Luna, as she shielded herself from Luna's tofu.
"I learned to use it as a medium on my first day at art school!"
"Uh, Mr. Camera man, we're over here, you can record us, if that's okay with you..." Fluttershy said, making a transition happen and the scene focusing on Cave Johnson and various ponies standing in a line. The background was a generic grass meadow.
"Okay, now it's time to test. Some of you may not make it, so we'll be sure to send your loved ones ponymart giftcards.
"Wait what!? I might die?!" Rarity squeaked.
"What? No, I mean you'll just have a sudden urge to impulse buy bad clothes." Rarity then dramatically fainted. Two giant doughnuts ran behind her, and dragged her off. "Okay, who's first?"
"Oh, me me! Me! Meeeeeeee!" Pinkie yelled from the end of the line.
"Uh, yes, the pink one. Step up."
"Yippee!" Cave trotted over to her, and sliped the glove over her hoof. Pinkie jumped into the air, and emitted a bright pink light. The ponies were blinded as Pinkie rose into the air. The light then dispersed, and she turned into a toster. The toaster landed on the ground, dinged, and spat out two bendy iPods. Fluttershy fainted from the ding, and two eclairs walked up and dragged her away.
"Hey, have the paramedics been changing pastries? I could've sworn they were doughnuts before. Whatever, more science."
"Ahem," Celestia said as she teleported behind Cave. She was covered in tofu bits. "I don't think giving Luna an endless supply of tofu was a good idea. Nor are any of your other experiments. I will politely ask you to refrain from causing mayhem in my kingdom, Mr. Johnson."
"Uh... hey look, a thing!"
"What?"
"In the sky!" Celestia turned around and looked up.
"I certainly don't see-" Celestia said, before she was interrupted by a glove being slipped on her hoof. "What the?" Celestia then shot into the sky, and turned into your math teacher.
"Well, that worked. Okay ponies," Cave said as he turned back to the test subjects. "We have two days before she turns back. I think we can finally use that glowing stuff we stole from Chrysalis. And hopefully this time it won't start shooting lions wearing Rainbow Dash costumes at us."
"I'm back!" Twilight yelled as she trotted toward Cave Johnson. "What the... what did I miss?"
Wow, this just gets more irrational as time goes by.
MOAR!!
*Reads Description* This better be as good as I think it is...
Lol What?!
More.
Instant like and fave as soon as I read the description. Will edit after I read this
what?....what?!........WHAT?!
LSD is a helluva drug
How high are you when you write this? I like to imagine you are just writing down your drug fueled fantasies.
869581
869593
Just bash your head on your keyboard until words start forming.
Works for me.
I have never seen anything more deserving of the Random tag.
FOR SCIENCE!
i haven't seen anything this insanely random since i drank to much cough medicine.
A unit of weirdness needs to be invented just for this story so that other things can be compared in a weird scientific way.
The image thingy is broken.
869710 Well, units of scientific measurement are typically named after the person who discovered them, or something like that.
So I hereby discover the Dawnshine (Dw), scientific unit of weirdness. This fic gets approximately 9 kDw.
869759 What would 1 Dw look like? (most certainly not Pinkie)
Faved for the concept alone, I haven't even read it yet.
869791 1 Dw would be pretty tame, like having a particular way to eat pizza or something. So this is approximately 9000 times more weird than that.
869897 9000 times weirder than eating an inside-out slice of negative space and time pizza?
I think we all know that saying 'For Science' allows you to get away with anything.
LOL
Looks on my face.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png
then:dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
hilarious episode. This should be what science class is like.
"okay students, today we will be testing the cake of exploding doom, and what happens when it is mixed with combustible lemons"
"YAY!!"
XD i have no idea why this amuses me so much!! I NEED MOAR!!!!!! FOR SCIENCE!
How's it going bros? My name is Fluttershy, and welcome back to 'Happy Wheels'.
870104
That's one of my favorite website games.
There is only one thing that describes this story accurately: sqrt(-1).
Awesome idea, but it's too dang short.
870148 I DON'T CAAAARE!!!
869975
Pfft, please.
More like eating a pizza while bouncing on a pregnant midget made from spent nuclear fuel rods...
With pickles...
Lots of pickles.
Sorry bro, but you can't out-random me.
870424 You say that, but I have a secret weapon: Pinkie Pie! Made of strawberries that smell like bacon, taste like pears, have the texture of sandpaper made of jelly, and contain seeds like watermelons. And when you spit the seeds out, they turn into inflated balloons that go through every form of light, including that which we can't see. And did I mention that the balloons are made of lead that tastes like cotton candy and only float horizontally? If you can manage to dip one in some chocolate milk, it turns into a random lego piece. Then the chocolate milk explodes into orange juice, then explodes again into a muffin that can be used to summon Derpy (and while she may have your mail, you'll probably get mail that was intended for a fictional character from stories that aliens wrote). I summoned Derpy once and got mail for someone that I have no idea how to spell because it was a different writing system (true story).
"Rarity then dramatically fainted. Two giant doughnuts ran behind her, and dragged her off."
WHAT?! ...nevermind.
870477
Not bad, but too much text not enough random. Smiles, but no laughs. Sizzles, but no pops.
Also, pay careful attention to syntax and spacing. It's like timing a joke right, if they read it too fast or slow, it's not funny.
It helps when the topics aren't even remotely related, keep that in mind.
But you got what it takes to be random!
Random? Definitely!
But there something missing... needs more trixie...
870328 BARRELS!!!
870756 Stop wasting your lanter oil!
*reads chapter*
Welp there goes my brain again
Man, do I love science.
873090
Hehe, people are writing fan fiction about my fan fiction. XD
870970 CHAIR MODE ACTIVATE!
High Dw corresponds to a similarity to the visions one sees with a high amount of cocaine in milligrams.
So 9000kDW is 9 grams of cocaine.
According to this scale, how are you still conscious?
This story is like a speedball made of words instead of as much of every drug you can take at once.
A combination of Portal 2, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Ponies. If I punch this into a calculator it makes a happy face
So this is what happens when you divide science by zero.....
Luna is a master in the matrial arts of Tofu!?, then will Celestia be a Ramen martial arts master?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5fb6t8X4g1qa9f3s.png
878257
img.youtube.com/vi/TTZWiuUH0GU/0.jpg
3.bp.blogspot.com/-Orw3QzD9QDc/TqePEFelgYI/AAAAAAAACjw/JIdTHBGmo-k/s400/57609%2B-%2BDJ_P0n-3%2Bartist%2Bsweatshirt%2Breaction_image%2Bvinyl_scratch.jpg
870970
Stephano!
BOOM, HEADSHOT!
Okay, so apparently carpets break doors(?).
I wonder what's in this roo-oh he'll no.
I get it.
873129
*cue random dubstep*
This chapter was delicious. May possibly need list of side effects of chapter ingestion at a later date.
"Celestia then shot into the sky, and turned into your math teacher"
Can't she turn into my Information Security lecturer?
And not one reference to Luna and moon rocks was made. Thank you for phenomenal writing. And randomosity. Have an applebloom.
871862
I know right? I have to clean my brain up. It splattered all over the walls when it blew!.
Asdf! 'Nuff said.