These ponies had no heroes funeral, no memorial, no glory. All these ponies had was a gun. This is the story of the unsung heroes of The Great Equestrian War...
Chapters (3)
SpeedTheSoldier
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6000134 Just commenting on a few things (story looks interesting):
A: Well, here's not pointing anything out, just I salute you and your family for protecting this country.
B: 1: Maybe Equestria's military terms are different?
2: Wow. And I think my 1-hour normal school classes are bad enough.
And no offense to the military or anything, but hooch is a wee bit of a silly word. As I said, no offense.
3: "My cousin's out fighting dragons, and what do I get? Guard duty."
4: Even with my limited knowledge of the military, I know that's true.
5: War is just a game that we, as humans, are stupid enough to play.
6: Like I said, different world, different customs.
6000306
...Okay, add that one to the list of things I wish I never heard.
Makes sense. After all, we won against the British during the Revolution; at that time, Great Britain was the most powerful country on the planet. And besides, that statement is true; the only war we "lost" was Vietnam. Even so, we withdrew, so it wasn't a loss loss, but just a mission failure.
A.) Summarize the definition of firewatch. Is it scouting or something along those lines?
B.) Yeah, if you went up to an Equestrian soldier and asked them about the U.S. military, they'd probably say, " What's the United States?"
A.) What. The Hell. Are pink fluffy caterpillars?
Oh my God...
B.)
Seriously, I'm a huge American patriot. I would literally march right into North Korea, Pakistan, Iran, etc. right now, and scream that I love being an American. I don't care if I would be shot or jailed; I am from America.
I'm confused about the setting. A Great Britain in Equestria? As in, London, Stratford-upon-Avon, etc.? Suddenly, Britain was transported to Equestria? Or is it one of those stories where The people are part human, part pony: like, thaty have the facial features and the tail, but the body of a human? Like in those fanart pictures?
The story has potential, but has errors throughout and feels a bit rushed. Trust me, I know the feeling well. If writing stories was easy, though, everyone would do it.
Can't favorite this, but I advise you seek out an editor and some help with writing. Ephraim Blue may be able to offer some assistance. He was the editor for LightOfTriumph wile writing his fist story. Seek Blue out; he's had experience.
6000621 A.) Like I said, I ain't in the military (Hell, I don't have the mental or physical prep, nor am I of drafting age.), nor do I plan to be. That's actually very dutiful.
B.) Okay... So, those caterpillars f
ck around with your head or something?
Meh, I can't stand insects anyway.
Where is your FOB, anyway? Middle East? What country?
6000405 Where is it? I'm in my own little world - as usual - and i say to myself, i say "What if, ok , Equestria is an island? Ok. so in my alternate universe where ponies Rule the world!, They rule Earth.
yep, bet no one saw that coming. Also thanks for commenting 
6002802 Royal Navy
6000134 Also, i shall fix the 'hooches' and 'fire-watch' but i do realize training in this greater modern era includes much much more, but in Our 1914-1918, in Britain at least, the training was a short course consisting of not much, but a lot of not much. I have family members - clearly dead - who fought in this war, I have a very military family - as you do also thank you for commenting!
6003468 Yes, indeed so, but who knows whats beyond that? I certainly don't! Also when i said Royal Navy, i meant i'm in Her Majesty's Royal Navy - you know the one from England -
6003517 No, that's not what i mean
I am part of the navy.
6003517 Also so true, land boats are awesome!
I'm going to be honest... I'm more confused then anything.
So.. first chapter... He decides he needs money, so he goes to sign up. Talks with a receptionist.
....What happened after that? I'm really not sure. Did he... get signed up? What? What happened?!
I really don't know what is going on, and I think that is your problem. The beginning seemed well, hardly having errors and also leading into the story. But after the receptionist, I have absolutely no clue what happened.
And to be honest, I was skimming it, but even then I should be able to grasp what happened. I don't know what's going on... this story is unclear and boggling...
There's not enough depth into it is what I'm saying. It's all happening so fast that I'm unable to comprehend it. Did he get into the army? I dunno, it's unclear.
Also, I'm not an army expert, but if he is in the army, didn't he have to go through some sort of training exercise first? Or at least an examination? I saw nothing of that sort.
Other than the unclear format of the story, the grammar and spelling is decent, for the most part. Several noticeable mistakes, but not everywhere in some stories I've seen.
Overall, I feel like this story has the potential to be good, but isn't for the way its executed. It goes too fast to understand what happens.
What I suggest is that you spend a little more time to give it more depth. Explain what needs to be explained, give solid conversations, and overall, think it through. If you just go through with something as you go, nothing will turn out well.
I look through this edited chapter. I still see some grammar mistakes, but I'm unsure of really happened.
Why did magic make him freak out like that? See things? It makes no sense. Just because you aren't used to magic doesn't mean that happens.
And seriously, he got approved? That quickly? Sorry, but that shouldn't have happened. Most armies, to my knowledge, have a physical exam, a training session, and then they're shipped out. I can understand if that was the form for the physical exam, but where was the exam?
I think this chapter could have gone much better if you showed the exam, and finishing it off with the approval stamp hitting the paper. Thatt would be a good ending to the chapter, but with this, it's still too quick.