Kindness can save the world. You just have to keep reaching out.
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Cutie Mark Crusaders4,491 stories ·1,748 members
School for New Writers9,642 stories ·5,015 members
Sweetie Belle2,666 stories ·1,642 members
Sweetie Belle: Achievement of Magic41 stories ·149 members
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The Cutie Mark Crusaders Club618 stories ·111 members
In the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters, Sweetie Belle comes into contact with a powerful artifact that gives her the promise of great power. What will she do with it? And what consequences might come with it? The days grow darker and strange things start to happen to her and her friends.
Something ominous lies on the horizon. With Sweetie's new found strength, does she have what it takes to face the oncoming peril to her home?
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Yay! It's HERE!!!!
Twilight has a student!
5854118
Mhm
This is great!
Love it!
5854201
Thanks!
ER
Dawn
MEH
GARD
LOVE!
This was an amazing read!
Kestrel you are an amazing author!
*bows before your mighty power*
HAIL THE GREAT AUTHOR
5854612
Heh, thanks. I worked pretty hard on this one
wow this is really good im getting some tom riddle vibes from the book, it's even racist. all the evil stuff has to be coming from that book.
having read the wonderverse stories, that had so much relevance than the just the show
wow this was great, Now all sweetiebell has to do is stab the book with a basiliks tooth, oh wait wrong story
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Nice storie
5863924
Thanks
Loved this one.
Your work is quite excellent.
5865787
Thank you, sir. I always give my best effort
5864135 Your welcome
Alicorn Sweetie Belle? That sounds terrifying.
5931749
Well, I guess it would be, especially after the... things she had learned
5931806 I'm more implying that because Sweetie is now Twilight's student she will ascend to alicorndom.
I will have nightmares for weeks.
5941492
5941611 It would make for a killer sequel LOL.
5941698
Heh, I don't know. I certainly hadn't thought of it, and I'm not sure that I wrote this with a sequel in mind.
5941709 Just a thought. Good luck with your upcoming stories bro.
5945297
Much obliged
Damn dude if there is one thing that's really got me hooked in this story it's the feeling of "STOP STOP STOP" that i often get watching the show
The moment Sweetie found the book i was filled with dread, from your cover image to the summary, to the moment itself, i knew it was coming but there was nothing i could do to stop it. Then as the chapter continued, things slowly went wrong ... i really love a story where i know something is happening but the characters don't know what or why, it really gives a sense of tension and anticipation.
Loved your descriptions to, i always make a note to compliment people who do it well, because despite all of my success i still feel like i don't nail physical description of environment or small details very well. The little details about the cutie mark crusaders at the beginning were particularly good, painting a picture and setting the scene for me.
I'm a bit bushed, and you know im a slow reader
so i'll read the second chapter tomorrow. But you've got me interested in what's going to happen. 
well done drawing in the readers.
6033913
I'm glad you finally got around to reading it. I worked really hard on this one.
Wow! Very well done
I definitely didn't see that coming. And it was so intense too 
i really liked your descriptions of the magic especially.
Complete with a lesson well learned. i could easily see something like this being adapted into the show, at least in terms of how it progressed and how it was organized.
I thoroughly enjoyed it!
6037479
I'm half you think highly of it, I just wish more people would read it
6037690
i agree with you, to be honest this reminds me of when i wrote Soft Spoken, trying to put my own personal twist on an episode style fic. I think im gonna make a second blog about this. Because really, i thought this was REALLY well done dude. I want you to get more views on this.
6038022
Thanks man. I'm just glad that this one wasn't half baked. I pumped it out in about 36 hours' time when I sat down to do it.
Well this was a bit too quick for me all in all. I also don't like magical beings who are custodians of something popping by just to have their asses handed to them. It's just the pacing that gets it for me really though, I prefer a slower build-up and the long haul.
6039201
Thanks for the feedback
I'm still relatively new to writing, so I'm still trying to work it all out.
6039765
But some people prefer short. It's hard to please everyone, probably impossible.
Just get some tips from Calm, he can really draw things out. I mean a lot.
6039834
Of course. It's all in the eye of the beholder after all. I personally believe this one is pretty well paced for its length. For longer stories, of course I'd draw it out a bit more.
For me I felt as though the ending bits - the stuff past the line break after Kingcess Twilight Sombrakle gets sent to Tartarus - felt a bit speedy, as if you were trying to get the story over as quick as possible after the climax. Aside from that though, it was pretty tense and well paced for a two chapter story, so well done!
6050997
Heh, yeah, I actually wanted this as a one shot, but I figured it got a bit long for it. I did think it was a bit sudden near the end, but I think I did alright. Glad you liked it
6051509
Ain't no shame in sticking 20k+ words into one chapter. Just makes for a great read to that special kind of dedicated reader
6052632
Yeah, I ultimately went with splitting it up because I didn't think as many people would read it if it wasn't in smaller chunks. I am a dedicated reader myself, but I know lots of people aren't and wouldn't give time to anything that big if it came all at once. But you take what you can get, I suppose.
Uhhhhhh... 1st what did you just do the my brain, and 2nd that was an amazing story.I liked the details it was 'merzing.
6139146
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I personally think it's a little rushed at the end, but it's better than my first fic. And so far, that's a trend, so I'm happy to say it
6139220 lol. You one of two people I follow. You still didn't answer my first question.
6139255
Ah, your brain. I probably sent it someplace else while you read the story cause things got weird
It had to take a time out.
6139267 Hmmmm? Let's just hope that pinkie doesn't find it.
6139277
That would be... problematic.
6139285 HIYAOoh Ooh is this the same site Calm Wind uses? Cool.
6139339
Well, yeah XD It's all on fimfiction
6139346 Wait Kestrel, did pinkie send you a message ? Of course I sent one silly."Pinkie! Don't touch my keyboard !"says Train wreck. Okie dokie lokie.
6227734
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it
Been working on some more too. I hope to release my next one soon. I'm just waiting on cover art.
And now, i will now impart my knowledge of the now to you now, now we will now rule the world now. I think you get the gist now.
I'm just messin with you, just found this little straggler of an error and thought i should point it out to you.
That was a well written story, though it seems a little cliche for the wizard to really be sombra. I find that it did some amazing development for the character.
I couldn't help but think of Excalibur with the FOOL!! In there.
All in all, 9.75/10.
6306821
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I've got my own gripes with the story, but I've generally improved as I've gone along.
Cute.