CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A LOST FOAL
The sound of the water pouring into a bowl was surprisingly therapeutic, calming his instinctive reaction to try and sit up. Natural light flooded into the room through the open windows, so bright it nearly blinded him as he tried to open his eyes. Rush winced.
“Oh! Wait a moment… here.”
The kind voice was still here, the slender arms, so soft and warm, lifting him up into a more comfortable position. Was he still alive? Rush felt like he was drifting along on a warm and soothing current. To wake up would almost be sacrilege. He was frightened to open his eyes. What if she… What if it was a dream? A dream brought on by fever?
His fears were answered by a warm cloth carefully dabbing at his eyes, wiping the sleep away. A few moments later, the window shutters were closed slightly, allowing him to open his eyes and take in the scene around him. Everything was so blurry, out of focus, and wavered in and out. Nausea grabbed him, and he retched.
“Here, it’s water. Sip it, though, don’t gulp.”
A bowl was held to his parched lips, and he sipped it weakly. The water was cool, infused with something he recognised. It was one of the herbs he used for settling upset stomachs. The amount used was just right as well—perfect, in fact. Rush finished the bowl and sighed, tilting his head back and feeling the relief as the wave of nausea vanished as if it had never existed.
He closed his eyes and spoke quietly, his voice still a little rough, “Thank you.”
The lilting voice came back. “You’re welcome.”
Rush remained as he was, his heart racing. “Are you a figment of my imagination?”
“I don’t think so!” came the reply, a hint of amusement in the words.
“But… are you real? When I open my eyes, will you still be here?”
He heard a quiet shuffling, and something took his hand. Whatever it was felt strange… hard, yet so gentle somehow. His hand was lifted and placed against what felt like…fur, warm and soft…alive.
“Do I feel real?”
Rush knew. In his heart, he’d known all along…
A tear rolled down his face. “Snow…”
Warm forelegs enclosed him, making him feel safe, protected… loved.
“Shhh, don’t cry now, little one, everything’s alright. I’m here… shhh.”
Rush shook. Unbidden, his tears began to fall. He’d never cried like this before, not since...not since…
She held him as he wept. Years of pain, so many years of emptiness, pouring out like rain from a lone cloud in a clear blue sky. He was so empty inside, so afraid…
Snow rocked him like a new-born foal. “You’re safe now, Rush. I’m here, I’m right here. You’ve been alone for too long, but I’ve found you now.” She kissed him on the forehead. “I’ve found you…”
6143862 Hi, Thanks for the comment. I really value the thoughts of readers and those more experienced than myself. I am after all, a new boy on here.
Although humans do feature heavily in the story, the main character focus is Celestia and her interaction with one of the denizens of the world she finds herself in. This becomes clearer as the story unfolds. I'm not sure how much you've read yet, but she features more prominently later on. Unfortunately, i can't explain too much or it would spoil the story.
I am a bit reluctant to use the 'human' tag just because humans feature in the story, but if thats the rules on Fimfiction, i am of course, more than happy to include it to avoid confusion. I was a little worried that using it may make readers think it was actually 'about' humans, or HiE.
Any thoughts would be gratefully received,
Kind Regards,
Blue Spectre
I can't say this enough, you my friend are an amazing writer never give up on that skill, ok
Change that to:
Warm forelegs enclosed him, making him feel safe, protected… loved.
6145082 I'm not entirely sure what the rules are, but I would recommend adding the Human tag. I don't think the human needs to be the main character for the tag to apply. As long as the story has a human in it, I would assume the Human tag is warranted. That said, regardless of which character is the main character, there are plenty of humans in this story. However, I should probably mention that I've only read the first sixteen chapters, so if there is some plot twist about these "humans" not being human at all, that might change things.
Also, I would consider adding an Original Character tag, since you have so many of them. Perhaps a Luna tag as well?
PS: I would like to repeat for emphasis that I'm not 100% sure what the rules for tags are. That said, this post is just my two cents.