Close Call
“Mister Beaverton! Missus Beaverton! Where are you!” Fluttershy called out once more. She had been out in the Everfree for almost an hour now, and still no signs of her furry little friends. It was starting to really worry her now. It had been two days since she had seen Mister Beaverton. At first she hadn’t put any importance to it, but when one of her animal friends told her that Mrs. Beaverton had also gone missing, she immediately went looking for the both of them into the Everfree. She never liked going into the forest, but when it came to helping out her animal friends, her fears came last.
“Mister Beaverton, please come out! Your pups are really starting to get worried!” she called out, but no response came. She kept looking for them for a while, when suddenly some nearby bushes started rustling. She was about to call out again when out came Missus Beaverton, running as fast as her short legs allowed her. The beaver just kept running, not even taking notice of Fluttershy as she ran in front of her.
Fluttershy had barely opened her mouth to call out to Missus Beaverton when an arrow came flying out from the tree line. Fluttershy had to stifle a gasp as she saw the arrow pierce into the beaver’s tail. Immediately, the beaver stopped and instead clutched at its tail, trying to get the arrow out. She was about to try and help her beaver friend when out of the bushes stormed a towering creature, catching her once again off guard.
He was tall and bipedal, and wore the hide of a bear. His long hair came down to his shoulders, and a bushy beard covered the majority of his face. It seemed that this tall creature also did not take notice of her, as he kept his gaze locked on the beaver. He put his bow on hits back and brought up his spear. Before Fluttershy even had a chance to react, he brought the spear back down onto the beaver, killing it in one blow.
Fluttershy’s body froze.
Just like that, her little friend’s life was gone. And there was nothing that she could have done to prevent it.
“How could you…” she whispered under her breath.
The creature, meanwhile, did not hear her, and so he proceeded to retrieve the arrow from its prey.
“H-how, c-could you…” she stated once more, only this time a little more audibly.
The sudden noise caused him to stop and try to pinpoint where the sound came from. As he turned behind him, he finally took notice of the yellow pegasus standing there, its head down and eyes covered by the shadow of its hair.
“HOW COULD YOU!” she screamed at him, turning her gaze to meet his.
The creature stumbled back in shock, not expecting the outburst from the small pegasus. He tried prying his eyes away from her, but found that to be almost impossible. His heart started racing. There was something in its gaze penetrating deep inside his mind, bringing out a very primal fear as well as a sudden feeling of regret.
“She had a family!” she cried out. But the creature did not seem to understand her words.
Every step back he took, the pegasus matched. His heart felt ready to leap out of his chest. Never in its years in the wild had he felt this much fear, from a much smaller animal much less. He needed to get away. He was about to turn and run when his foot caught on something, causing him to fall backwards. Now on the ground, he began pushing himself back, trying to get as much distance from the pegasus as he could.
Suddenly his back met the trunk of a tree. He had nowhere else to go. His palms were becoming sweaty, knees weak and his arms felt heavy. He needed to do something to get out of there.
“Well, do you have anything to say for yourself!?” she yelled at him, almost face to face.
He did not know why, but he suddenly began to feel the need to apologize. But why? Why should he? He did not do anything wrong. The only thing he had done was try to survive.
No.
He fought back that strange feeling. He shut his eyes tightly, bringing his hands to his head, and steeled himself. Fear was not going to help him, and neither was running away from his problems. He needed to fight back.
His hands began to shake. He could feel the adrenalin pumping through his system already. It was now or never. He opened his eyes and faced the pegasus’ stare with his own cold, predatory gaze. This seemed to take the pegasus by surprise, as its gaze faltered, losing its strength. Not letting the momentum go, he leapt into action.
It was time to fight back.
“Ugghhh!” Twilight cried out while pulling on her mane.
Her eyes were red and puffy, her mane was a disheveled mess and the bags under her eyes were now very noticeable. She had spent the last couple of days in her library researching the strange creature with Spike, but so far they had found nothing.
“I just don’t get it! We’ve looked at every book, and yet there’s nothing written about a creature that fits his criteria!” she cried out once more.
“Did we check ‘Myths and Other Old Pony Tales of Old’? Maybe it’s in there.”
“Yes, I did. I triple checked it, and even went out and read Myths and Other Mystical Creatures from Around the World, and yet still nothing.”
“Then I got nothing.”
“Gah. How can a creature like that just exist without any previous recording? I mean, it had to have had some kind of interaction with ponies. Even if it lives in an environment like the Everfree, most of the monsters in there have at least been named and described in Creatures and Animals of the Everfree Forest.
“And that’s just looking for it as if it was some sort of feral animal, which it’s not: it has to have some level of intelligence or sapience.”
“How do you know that?” Spike asked.“You barely got a glimpse of it.”
“I mean, an animal doesn’t just carry around and use tools the way it does. Plus, the axe that it used was metal, and metallurgy isn’t exactly a skill that animals possess.”
“Well, some studies have shown that some animals can use some sort of tool to help them get food that they wouldn’t be able to get otherwise. Also, it could have found that thing in the forest or even taken it from a logger's cabin from who-knows-where.”
When he didn’t get an answer, he looked over to Twilight to find her staring at him with with an eyebrow raised. “Where did you get that from?” she finally responded.
“What? Just because I like comic books doesn’t mean that I don’t grab a book to read like you do sometimes when I’m bored.”
A small smile made its way to her features.“Good to see I’m rubbing off on you, Spike. But still, I had already thought of that, and it’s not the same. While true, they don’t modify those tools for specific tasks. For example, sharpening a rock or bones and strapping it on branch to make a spear, or turning some wood and sinew into a bow.
“It has to be sapient. Crafting tools like those to survive are some of the signs of an intelligent species. To be completely sure, though, it has to be able to produce and control fire and be capable of some sort of communication.”
“What if it’s a new species?” Spike suggested.
“That’s impossible. For starters, where do they live? All of Equestria and the world have been explored, and there are no records of any of the current sapient species having interacted with whatever species that creature is. Also, ponies have been using airships for quite some time now as a method of transport and exploration all over Equestria. I’m sure that if there was some kind of lost civilization living in the Everfree or any other habitable ecosystem, we would have noticed by now.”
“What if it’s a dying species? Maybe they never grew big enough to be noticed, and there are very few left.”
“Well, that could be possible…I mean if they were heavily isolationist and didn’t interact with other species, that would make them hard to find. Also, most of the prosperity and advancement in other species accelerated immensely once they started interacting with each other. Sharing resources and technologies allowed them faster growth. That could explain why they never grew... you may be onto something, Spike.”
“Thank you,” he said, giving a small bow. “I can already imagine the headlines if we are right, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s Protege, Discovers Unknown Civilization. You’d be famous, hay, you could probably even write a book about them.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Writing a book on a whole new species,” she said, her eyes losing focus as she imagined the possibilities.
“Yeah, but they’d need to be friendly first, and from what happened to you guys, that doesn’t seem to be the case. If that one is anything to go about, they might be another Yakyakistan.” Spike reminded her of the highly sensitive species that had yet to come out of their shell.
“The Yaks…” she thought to herself. Suddenly her color began draining from her face. “...Oh ...no.”
“What, what’s the matter?”
“I was so concentrated on needing to know what that creature was that I forgot to go to the mayor’s office and warn her about how dangerous it is to the population. I need her to warn everyone that the Everfree is completely off-limits.”
“Relax, everyone in this town knows not to venture into the Everfree.”
“Yes, but even then there are still those who venture in thinking it’ll be fun or exciting. It has to be officially declared off-limits until further notice to everyone, from Ponyville or any other place, no exceptions,” she explained to Spike as she headed to the door. “We also need to warn those tha—”
“Hey Twilight I finished that book you—oof—” Rainbow said as she crashed into Twilight. “Ow! What’s got you in such a hurry? Are you alright?” she asked once she saw the state she was in.
“Yes I’m fine, but I need to get to Mayor Mare fast.”
“What’s the rush? Wait, is it about that thing you and Zecora ran into a couple of days back?”
“Yes. I need to warn her to restrict entry to the Everfree Forest from now on to everyone, and also warn anyone living close to it to be very cautious. Zecora is already out of there, so I’ll need to warn the Apples, since the orchard is right alongside the Everfree. If the creature gets close enough, it might enter the orchards.”
“What about Fluttershy?”
Twilight stopped dead in her tracks, the color from her face resembling her mother’s more and more. “Oh no.”
“What?” Rainbow asked, concern clearly on her face.
“The mayor isn’t important right now. We need to get to Fluttershy’s ASAP!”
“Why, sure she lives next to the forest, but she’d never go in. You know her.”
“It’s not that that I’m worried about. The creature showed that it is an active hunter and that it doesn’t keep itself to the deep parts of the Everfree. Fluttershy’s cottage is filled with animals that come and go into the forest. If the creature finds one of those animals or tracks them back to her cottage... I don’t want to imagine what’ll happen.”
Rainbow’s own eyes widened at that. “We need to go warn her now,” Rainbow said with a very serious tone in her voice that Twilight had never heard. Before Twilight had time to respond, she opened up her wings and took off in a blur to Fluttershy’s cottage.
“Rainbow, wait up! Ugh. Spike can you go for me to the mayor and tell her to call an emergency town meeting. I need to warn everyone as soon as possible.”
“You got it.”
“Thanks, Spike.” She lowered herself and gave her number one assistant a hug. “Rainbow, wait for me!”
Rainbow needed to get to Fluttershy’s cottage quickly. Every second that passed was a second which the monster could use to get to her cottage. She began flapping her wings harder, taking them to their limit. She needed to make sure Fluttershy was safe. The cottage was now coming into view. She stopped flapping her wings and instead opted to glide the rest of the way. No need to crash into her house again.
As soon as she landed in front of the cottage’s front door, she began knocking on it incessantly.
“Fluttershy! Open up! There’s something very important I need to tell you!”
Her knocking finally stopped when the door slowly opened. At first, Rainbow felt relief wash over her, but when she saw that who opened the door was not Fluttershy but Angel Bunny, her brow furrowed.
“Angel, where’s Fluttershy?” she asked as she peeked behind him to see if she could spot her inside.
The rabbit merely shook his head.
“She’s here, right?”
Again, the rabbit shook his head.
“What?! Where is she?” she asked, hoping that her friend was in the market and she just hadn’t seen her.
When the rabbit pointed instead in the direction of the Everfree Forest, her face paled.
Oh no…
“B-but why? She’s terrified of the Everfree!”
The rabbit began to make charades, fist acting as if he was eating at something sideways, then he put his arm straight up and made it start to fall to the side.
“A Beaver? Mister Beaverton?”
The rabbit nodded, then put his paw above his brow and began turning his head as if looking for something.
“Looking...uhh finding... uhh searching.” The rabbit nodded. “She is searching for Mister Beaverton?” Again Angel nodded.
“But why? What happened to him?”
The rabbit just shrugged. He pointed to his eye and shook his head once more.
“No eye...wait, not seen him. Mister Beavertooth has gone missing and Fluttershy went looking for him in the Everfree.”
The rabbit nodded one last time.
“Thanks, Angel. Don’t worry, I’ll go look for her and make sure she’s ok. I promise.”
With that Rainbow spread her wings and made her way to the Everfree Forest. Just as Angel closed the door, another knock came from outside. Sighing, he opened the door again. This time, however, he was met by a very out-of-breath Twilight.
“Angel, thank goodness you are here. Are Rainbow and Fluttershy here?”
The rabbit couldn’t help but bring his paw to his forehead in annoyance. He was getting tired of having to play charades with these ponies.
“Fluttershy! Fluttershy, where are you?” Rainbow called as she flew over the Everfree frantically. At first, she had flown as high as she could to see if she could spot something through the treeline. When that didn’t work she decided to look in a grid pattern, determined that she wouldn’t leave any part unchecked.
The deeper she got, the more worried she became. If the creature didn’t get her, then something else could. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. She needed to concentrate.
Then, out in the distance, she managed to spot a yellow coat through a gap in the trees. Relieved of having spotted her, she made her way quickly to where she had seen her friend. Her tranquility was broken, however, when a high pitched scream tore through the air. A shiver went down her spine.
No. Not now. Not when I’m so close.
She hurried to the spot as fast as she could. When she finally arrived, she was met with her worst fear. Standing above her friend was the creature that Twilight had told her about. Tall, standing on two feet and wearing the hide of a bear as a second skin. One of his arms was raised, gripping a wooden spear that was pointed in her friend’s direction.
“NO!”
She dove at the monster as fast and hard as she could. Within seconds, her body clashed with that of the creature, sending them both tumbling into the ground. As soon as she felt herself stop rolling, she steadied herself on top of the creature and began her assault.
“No one! Hurts! My! Friend!”
Each one of her words were accentuated with a strike to the beast’s face. When she finally felt her rage subside, she stopped her assault on the creature and turned to check on her friend.
“Hmph, and Twilight said you were tough.” she spat out before reaching Fluttershy.
When she got close enough, she got to see just what had happened to her friend before she arrived. There was a cut going through her left cheek, a small drop of blood at the end of the injury. Her face looked like it had been hit a few times, and her right wing was hanging limply by her side. Seeing her friend in such a state made her blood boil. She was about to make her way back to the creature when Fluttershy spoke up.
“R-r-rainbow D-dash?” she stammered out, her hooves still covering her eyes as if afraid to look.
“I’m here. Don’t worry, I took care of that thing. It might be tough, but not as tough as me,” she said, puffing out her chest a little.
Fluttershy smiled at her friend’s antics. Even in events like these, Rainbow Dash was still Rainbow Dash. At the assurance that the creature was taken care of, she shakily got on all fours. When she folded her wing back to her side, she couldn’t help but wince at the pain.
“You alright?”
“It hurts a little, but I think I’ll be ok.”
“Come on let's get out of here before that thing decides to get back up.”
Fluttershy opened up her wings but quickly drew them back with a grimace to her sides when her right wing protested. “I don’t think I am going to be able to fly.”
“Come on, you have to try again. We need to get out of here, fast.”
Before Fluttershy got a chance to open her wings again, a low growl came from the downed creature. Slowly, he began to move into a sitting position. As he rose, so did the volume of his growling. When he reached a sitting position, he used a hand to reach for his fallen spear. Once in his hands, he used it to help himself rise to his feet.
The look of pure seething rage that he turned to Rainbow made her subconsciously take a step back. Now she understood just how much trouble she was in. In response, she met its gaze and flared her wings, trying to at least look a little intimidating. Their stare-off lasted a few stretched-out seconds before the creature swung back his spear and charged towards her with a mighty roar.
Before he got within striking distance, Rainbow Dash dove to the right, while Fluttershy dove in the opposite direction, looking to avoid getting in their fight. Before the creature could stop and redirect his attack, Rainbow took to the air and got behind him, delivering a quick one-two punch to the back of his head. Stumbling a little from the quick but rather harmless blows, the creature once again brought his spear back and swung it in Rainbow Dash’s direction. The pegasus, being much smaller and more agile, managed to evade its blow easily.
A small smile made its way to her features. As big and scary as the creature was, he was not fast enough to hit her. Their little one-sided exchange continued, the creature swinging in a blind rage while Rainbow dodged and countered each of his attacks. Although, unbeknownst to her, instead of tiring the creature, each one of her blows only made him angrier.
Becoming overconfident in her ability to dodge to the attacks, she began to embellish her evasions, spinning, pirouetting and even flying backwards with her hooves behind her head. The creature, unbeknownst to her, began taking notice of her carelessness. In an attempt to outsmart his opponent, the creature feinted a sideways swing; when the pegasus went into one of her evasive maneuvers, he swung as hard as he could onto his unsuspecting target.
The blow connected at the side of her barrel, sending her crashing into the ground. Dazed from the unexpected blow, Rainbow barely had enough time to roll to the side, a wooden spear sinking deep into the spot she was in just seconds ago.
She quickly got on all fours and made herself airborne. The blow had taken quite a lot out of her. She noted how she couldn’t move too suddenly without her side erupting in pain.
Noting that the creature was occupied trying to dislodge the spear from the ground, she pushed aside the pain and charged the creature once more. The creature quickly took notice and let go of the spear, preparing himself to strike with his bare hands. Again he attacked and again she evaded, only this time he noted that the pegasus was “sidestepping” the bare minimum to dodge his attacks. When she finished attacking, instead of going for a direct blow he reached out in a grabbing motion at the direction he thought she would evade.
Rainbow’s breath was suddenly caught in her throat, a hand managing a firm grip around it. She brought up her hooves to the offending appendage and tried to pry it open. Instead, the grip only tightened, cutting off more of her blood flow. She began flapping her wings harder, trying to get out of the creature’s grip.
The creature kept its iron grip on her throat when suddenly, a high-pitched sound came from behind him. Turning back, he noticed the other pegasus crying out to its captured comrade. When he felt the struggling becoming weaker, he turned and swung his arm towards the other pegasus, sending the one in his hand into a collision course with the other one. They both laid there almost unmoving, only the slow rise and fall of their chests giving away that they were still alive.
Seeing how they weren’t going anywhere, he turned back to his spear and pulled it out of the ground. He finally had them. Both the aggressive blue and the yellow demon-eyed pegasi were now at his mercy. If it wouldn’t have been for what he experienced with the yellow one’s gaze, he would have just killed the offending blue one and spared the yellow one’s life. But after seeing what the yellow one was capable of with just its gaze, he decided that it too should perish. Letting such a dangerous creature go could easily come back to bite him in the future.
Gripping the spear with both his hands, he made his way towards his prey. When he was above them, he lifted his arms over his head and prepared to end their fight. The spear came down and let out a cracking noise as the spearhead split off from the impact on a familiar transparent lavender dome. He could only stare at his broken spear, rage making its way back into his body.
He turned his head; just coming out of the tree line was the source of the purple dome. The purple demon. Brown eyes met purple ones once more. Again that strange equine interrupting his hunt. He gripped the remains of his spear tighter; it might not have had a tip anymore, but it was still a weapon. Without hesitation, he charged her again. A bright flash and pop later, he found himself charging an empty space. A second pop and flash revealed to him that she had reappeared inside the dome, right alongside the pegasi.
He couldn’t let it steal his food away from him, not again. He charged again, but this time his target stayed put. The spear came crashing in a horizontal swing, but the dome held, the only sign of his strike a small pulse that traveled the unharmed dome. He brought the spear up for an overhead strike. He struck again and was met by the same result. The only damage inflicted was on the spear itself, a crack running along it. Inside, he could see the pegasi getting up and stretching their wings.
His eyes widened: they were preparing to flee. He dropped the spear and instead brought his bow from his back and prepared an arrow. He couldn’t let them get away. They both took off, the yellow one struggling much more than the blue one. He grinned a little. It looks like he had a target. He brought his arms forward and pulled back on the string, aiming as best as he could at the yellow one. Suddenly there was an explosion of light, causing him to lose aim and fire blindly. The arrow soared and passed right between the pegasus’ wings, missing its back by mere centimeters.
Looking down at the purple demon, he now noticed that the dome was gone. Again a flash of light, this time smaller, and the equine was gone. Seconds passed. A pop from behind him as well as the feeling of two hooves crashing into his back told him where it went.
He was sent tumbling forward into the ground, the bow breaking under him. He looked down at it. Another one of his things broken by that abomination. He threw it to the side, his rage flaring more, and brought out his axe from its leather sheath. Its purpose might not be to hunt animals, but it was the last thing he had to kill besides his knife.
He got up, grabbed it with both of his trembling hands and charged the demon once more. It disappeared once again in a flash of light. He quickly turned and swung his axe behind him, hoping to get the damned thing. Instead his axe met empty air, the creature appearing several meters away from his reach. Its horn lit up, and a stream of purple light caught him in the eyes. He brought his hands up to protect them. He stumbled a few steps back, and when the attack ceased, he brought his hands down again, but before he had the chance to charge, a strange creaking noise came from behind him. When he turned, he found himself being smacked in the head hard by a tree branch, causing him to fall once more.
Unbeknownst to him, the purple one smiled from the impact. As he staggered to get up, he picked up the tell-tale sound of hooves galloping away. He couldn’t let it flee. Not after all it had done. He grabbed his fallen axe and got up quickly, ignoring the swaying feeling in his head, and chased after the creature. Once the world stopped moving around him, he concentrated on his fleeing opponent. He smiled again: it might be a better fighter than him, but he was the better runner. The chase drew on, and slowly but steadily, he began to gain ground on the tiring equine. Now only meters away from it, he decided to go in for the kill. Grabbing the axe with both hands from the bottom, he raised it behind his head, preparing to throw it. It might not have been made to be thrown, but he needed to end the chase.
As he steadied himself to throw his weapon, he saw how its horn began to glow. His eyes widened; it was about to disappear. With one final grunt, he threw his axe at it, which sailed through the air just as he had anticipated. Unfortunately, the equine’s glow engulfed it seconds before the axe struck its target, meeting nothing but hard ground.
Meanwhile in the backyard of Fluttershy’s cabin, Rainbow Dash was comforting her distraught friend. Having witnessed one of her critter friends being killed right in front of her eyes and her closest friend almost choked to death, as well as well as facing the creature’s wrath first hoof, was a very traumatizing experience. Rainbow let her friend cry into her shoulder all she needed.
“Don’t worry, Flutters, we’re safe now. Besides, we’ll have to get you out of this cabin for now, or at least until Twilight finds a way to end all of this,” she said as she ran her hoof through her mane in a soothing manner.
“Wh-what ab-b-bout Twilight? S-she’s still in th-there with that m-monster…”
“Don’t worry, she’ll be alright. If I managed with only my wings before I started to show off, then she’ll be alright.”
“I g-g-guess you’re right. She d-did take care of the Ursa Minor all b-by herself...”
Suddenly, there was a flash and pop a few meters away from them. When the light receded, they could see their friend panting on the ground. Tired from both finding them and fighting the creature, all she wanted was nothing more than to relax without someone’s life being in danger.
“This is… getting old… really...fast,” she managed to say between breaths of air.
“Oh Twilight! Thank goodness you’re alright!” Fluttershy cried as she went towards her friend. “I was really starting to worry…” she said as he reached down to hug her friend.
“Thanks, Fluttershy. Good to know you two are alright.”
“Yep, nothing but a bruise,” Rainbow said while joining her friends.
“Are you sure you’re alright? That doesn’t look too good,” Twilight said, pointing to a rather big bruise on Rainbow’s ribs. “You should really have that checked out.”
Before her friend had a chance to reply to her, they managed to hear a faint roar somewhere inside the Everfree Forest, causing a flock of birds to fly out into the air.
“Oh…my…”
“Looks like we really ticked it off,” Rainbow said.
A chill travelled down Twilight’s spine as she remembered the last time she had heard that same roar. “Yes, it looks like we really did.”
Sorry for the long wait between chapters. It's just that I suddenly lost a bit of my drive to write these a few months back. Add to that a bitlot of procrastination, video games and suddenly weeks pass without even noticing. But anyway, that's all behind now. Like I said in my blog post, there is a second chapter for Savage in the works. I have an idea of what could be another chapter for this story, but it'll take a bit more time before I start writing it. Also, this chapter has an alternate ending for all those of you who've wanted to see someone die. And I have to tell you something, I found myself smiling more than I think I should while writing it. It's around half-way done so it might be done in a week or two depending on how long it gets. For a bit of perspective, I thought this chapter would be around 3.5-4k. So place your bets people. Who do you think will find their fate at the hands of the savage man?
Edit:Here's the alternate ending in case you don't follow me or read my blogs. Surprisingly, that 3-4k chapter ended up being 5.5k 
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YES. YESSS... UPDATE!
Finally it's begin.
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I don´t know how to feel about this story.It appears that the time in the forest have managed to de-evolve him by a few levels.Savage indeed.
Just for once I would like to see that overconfident skyblue horse getting a knife in the torso as response to a blind charge attack.
6471014 Usually I'm the one who does that. Though I use my hand instead of a knife. Who needs a weapon when one is a weapon?
(Alondro is a Death Scythe...)
6471014 But the human who managed to be bucked repeatedly by a pony gettin up with hardly any damage is perfectly ok with you.... after he mindlessly tries to kill ponies that anyone not mentally ill or brain damagd to a severe extent could conclude by this time is intelligent.
Need I remind people that adult humans who've actually been living in the wild do not become mindless beasts...
Nor do they gain super strength such that being bucked in the face by horse hooves does no severe, crippling damage.
This is as guilty of human whoring as some stories are of pony whoring. Sheesh, if Twilight actually wanted to take him down, she could just pick up a tree and whack him across the forest with it. Magic resistance ain't gonna do shit against seveal tons moving at high velocity.
Wow, this story actually makes me want him to catch and eat them.
6471157 I have no idea what I did to deserve such a broken comment.
6471205 lol
6471205 You think Rainbow Dash should die because she saved her friend from certain death.
Really, what else could she do but charge in? The psycho Tarzan wanna-be was about to impale her!
A sudden attack was more than warranted! Whether intended as such by the author or not, when friend or family is within moments of death, if you can YOU ATTACK THE ASSAILANT!!
Unless you're a pussy jock or a vapid teenage girl. Then you go curl up and cry and get murdered next by the mysterious killer when you open the door the audience is screaming at you not to open.
6471257 ...That's what you took from my comment? An awful lot of presumptions in that fantasy of yours.
6471157 I know the survive a good hindleg kick is sketchy, but many people would go insane from 10 years in solitude. Also, maybe the "Savage" part of the title may have something to do with it.
Of all the ponies to have freak out over a wild animal being killed by a predator, why Fluttershy?
Canon Fluttershy knows animals eat each other. Sometimes she helps.
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If this Fluttershy is written consistently, she'll spend the rest of the fic screaming, "How dare you?!" at every obligate carnivore she sees, and it'll be hilarious. Most of the Mane SIx have meat eaters for pets. Cat, dog, owl, alligator. Do tortoises count? I'm pretty sure I've seen those things chow down on slow moving pigeons.
6471625 Any major city on Earth. Seriously, 99% of the people in Chicago wouldn't be able to survive without a government check. An about the only thing they know how to farm is weed.
The people you mentioned make up numbers of a few million at most.
The Earth's population is OVER 7 BIILION.
So, 99%....
You've proven how little you know about the human race today. People in the modern age are uniquely unfit to survive in the wild. The majority can't even build a fire in a modestly damp forest even with matches.
Nuff said.
Wild dogs don't dress up. BUT dogs owned BY CIVILIZED PEOPLE DO. So, even if the asshat ignores the very non-animal behaviors exhibited by these creatures, there's the OBVIOUS CONCLUSION that, hey, a civilized species must be living close-by and MADE THESE CLEARLY MANUFACTURED OBJECTS FOR THE ANIMALS.
And this is why you will never be a scientist: complete failure of qualitative and quantitative analysis and completely uni-direction line of thinking.
6471583 Going insane does not help you survive in the wild. The ones who go nuts END UP DEAD EVERY TIME. The ones who keep their heads and think have vastly higher survival rate. This is borne out by countless case studies. Even kids with mental illness who simply didn't know enough to be scared or upset survived, simply by virtue of not freaking out at any point.
A certain man lived basically "Alone in the Wilderness" for nearly 30 years... in central Alaska. Where it frequently drops to 40 below 0 and colder in winter. He had very minimal contact with other people, mainly for infrequent deliveries. Beyond those brief periods, he was by himself with the natural world for company. He was calm, collected, introspective, highly skilled, and respectful of even the animals he killed for food... and avoided killing any predators who weren't a threat.
He never went crazy, and only left when, after age 80, it was simply too hard for him.
THAT is the profile of a long-term survivor. Not a guy who reverts to a savage beast. THAT happens to be the profile of a psychotic killer.
6471014 Knifing a fast-moving, flying assailant is easier said than done. And Rainbow Dash easily moves as fast as an arrow, and accelerating while she does so as well. 'in-range' lasts only a small fraction of a second before impact.
6471711 Quite so.
6471583 Living in isolation would cause one to become extremely anti-social, along with probably some coping delusions. Considering we've seen his thoughts from his point of view, he does not seem to be suffering from severe delusions. The only possible reasoning that would justify him not realizing they're intelligent would be that he's literally starving. Possible, since he's had a bad run in hunting, but he's obviously thought about past encounters, and it should have been questionable in hindsight.
6471157 Yes, even though the ponies are smaller, getting hit by hooves should still hurt like hell. It'd be like being kicked by a goat at the least, even when hit by a punch from a standstill. Getting hit by a charging Rainbow Dash should be crippling, if not fatal. Could you imagine what would happen if you were hit by a labrador retriever wearing a helmet at 200 MPH?
(Even though the author does a terrible job of giving us some kind of scale to work with. Because if they're 3 foot at the withers, then they'd still be as large as a human and they should be wrecking him. I'm gonna guess they're 2 foot at the withers, just above knee-high, rather than waist-high.)
6472079 Well, you have a point, but we could be over-analyzing it, and that these plot holes are just for the convenience of plot. I mean, go ahead and complain all you want, I'm not judging, but personally, I find a story is best when you don't scrutinize over the plot holes (Like ant-man, for example).
6471711 Yes, this was something my editor also told me that could be questioned. My reasoning behind her reaction is that I believe that she would be more attached to the Beavertons(Rather close animal friends) then a random animal that she doesn't know. I think she would know the risk of dying that her animal friends have but don't you think seeing one of them getting killed right in from of her face wouldn't affect her. Think of it this way, when you have a pet you know it can and will eventually die. When the time comes, you'll be obviously sad but you knew it was coming. But if you see someone chase it down and kill it infront of your face, wouldn't you be pissed?
6472285 I guess I did forget to mention what kind of injuries the guy got from fighting her. I'll definitely need to go back and specify how bad she left him.
6472079 Hmm I never knew of that guy's case, guess I didn't my research well when I started the story. Still, I'm not going for ultra-realistic with this one, these chapters are more what if he went a bit crazy attacked the ponies he meets. Also, do you know were I can read about that man you said, that sounds really interesting.
This chapter charm me
finally a human layers to battle and not give up the ponies
and I was getting tired of stories where he is with them only to be beaten and taken to the library of Twilight
It is that many expected ponies win
as the stroke of a real horse
starts hurting
but occasionally one could take those freedoms
He was also the only surviving
I look forward to the next chapter
I hope to learn from this lesson and do not get to see the ponies
it will be a little more cautious hunter
greetings and good luck
6472469 Internet searches are magic!
"Alone in the Wilderness"
It's been on PBS like a gazillion times and is one of the highest-rated and requested shows. i own a copy.
Oh, and in later chapters, you've got to explain two highly implausible circumstances.
1. Why his brain is so addled he couldn't make common sense decisions. You could combine this cleverly with his magical resistance as coming from the fruit of Poison Joke, which is toxic to ponies but not to simians (which is very true of some plants we eat that other animals cannot), however in those species it doesn't just grant resistance to magic but also causes slow insanity (also plausible, as some alkaloids do work that way!). Zecora might recognize the signs, as might Twilight if she'd studied up on Poison Joke after "Bridle Gossip".
2. How he'd gone 10 years without ever leaving the Everfree. It is always the case that someone skilled in survival tactics of any kind will seek clues of civilization. There are a number of clearly-used paths in the Everfree, as well as the Castle of the Two Sisters and the ruins of the associated city smack in the middle. That's going to be MUCH harder to explain away. The only thing I can com up with at all is som notion of a curse that kept him wandering in circles without knowing it, and that would have to be a deliberate thing cast upon him. This cold be combined with the side effects of the Poison Joke berries as being the reason why the curse has suddenly broken and allowed him to encounter ponies at last.
PLOT STRUCTURE!!! OH MY NIPPLES!! THEY HURT WHEN I TWIST THEM!! *Mel Gibson smile*
Thanks, I we don't have much american chanels over here so I never saw that.
1.-Can you tell which so I can explain them.
2.-He didn't live the 10 years in the Everfree. He got there recently. Back when I was first developing the story I thought that the White Tail was a massive forest that was either very close or was conected to the Everfree. When I finally saw a map of Equestria I had already written and published the first chapter.
Also, I would've loved to use Poison Joke as an excuse but I never thought of it as the reason for his bad mental state or magic resistance.
6472959
If you're looking at the EO official map, White Tail Woods IS an enormous forest, or at least part of one. He could've then follow the river east towards the Everfree. Remember that it's a tourist map, so cities and sites of interest will be blown way out of proportion to their surroundings, and distances will be all messed up. So if you consider Equestria's continent to essentially be a North America expy (and city names line up pretty well for that, though we have the macintosh hills and badlands instead of the gulf of mexico), then that forest would extend from Washington State, down into North California, then across northern Nevada, then up into Idaho, southern Montanna, Wyoming, South Dakota and maybe even Minnesota. Thus putting Ponyville/Canterlot in the Iowa/Wisconsin/Illinois/Missouri area. Nothing small about them woods.
Even though we know that White Tail Woods is actually within walking distance of Ponyville, since I don't think they'd go a quarter of the way across the country for that as the map would suggest. Which means you can stretch the landmarks out to whatever size you want. Maybe White Tail Woods actually goes all the way from where Northeastern California is for us all the way to the Midwest. And that's not even counting all the unlabeled forest area to the north/northeast/northwest.
I really liked the first story, and this also seems to be rather good. Keep going! =D
Well... shit. The girls got out alright, and Dash learned a valuable lesson about not doing more than the strictly necessary fighting actual threats. On the other hand, Caveman is getting wiser to their tactics and the beaver will allow him to survive and re-strengthen for a while longer.
They need to get the Guard and the Princesses in on this, if only as a backup to an ingenious capture plan. Preferably with Pinkie's help.
How's that "much to his luck"? The bloody attack failed!
6548955 I thought that 'Much to his luck' was a way to say 'Unfortunately'.
Like saying "Much to his luck, the store was closed." Or have I interpreted that phrase the wrong way?
6551474 You got that backwards due to the sarcasm of the first example you ever saw, I'd say
"Much to his/her/its/their luck" means the exact same as "fortunately".
6551482 Well this is embarrassing
Thanks for pointing it out.
6626561 I separated it from Savage a few months ago, maybe from there?
when is the next chapter due? curious how things will proceed.
6629281 Around two months more or less. I am a slow writer
I don't know how other authors manage to write so much in so little time. I have a general idea of what will happen next chapter, but haven't started writing it yet. Right now I'm giving priority to another chapter for Savage so I won't start until I'm done with that one first.
6672162 I have a soft spot for any animals....except for bugs. Don't judge me.
How does this guy not realize that the ponies are sapient?!?!?!? They have shown multiple signs of sentience not to mention the FUCKING MAGIC!!!!!!!!
it seems weird for a starved person to be able to continually run and fight for such a long time. But the concept of a feral human is pretty cool.
I havent read the story yet. But i do want to ask... why does this have a sequel when it isnt complete?
6830857 The sequel is an alternate ending to the third chapter. I was told that I could put it under sequel because it was related to the story.
Sorry for the late response.
6834738 Your response may as well be instant compared to the others I've received.
Also, I read on in the description only after checking to see if Savage was complete, seeing it wasn't, and making the comment, to find that it was essentially an AU of one specific chapter. The sequel tag may be a bit meh here, but I'm more at fault than you are. In fact, you really aren't at fault in any way at all. No worries.
7027434 She made a series of teleports together.
7031247
Any plans to continue this story?
7651013
Yes, although that will take a while.
Plopped this boy into my "Paused" fic shelf. Hope it gets continued!
“Rainbow, wait up!
I never understood that, so many times in so many stories when twilight wants to warn someone of an imminent threat she always has to be the one to do it, and anyone that is faster than her and tries to possibly save a life has to wait on her
I mean really "Fluttershy is in danger!" Rainbowdash tries to fly after her " wait Rainbow Dash! you can't go ahead of me! I have to be there to warn her!"
Hey uhh, ese you gonna continue this right?
Boss this story? Is it continued or will it be forgotten?
Another dead story... shame
Damn shame this is dead it's really good