we are screwed
When they started charging we just knew we were fucked so we had to run back into the castle. They started pounding on the huge castle door while the slenderman teleported in the castle and saw the ponies.
Rainbow dash,"Oh shit!"
Rarity,"What--oh shit!
The ponies couldn't hold the door anymore unless they wanted to die! So when they left they door and all the corrupted ponies broke an d soon they all brook into the castle. The six ponies that weren't corrupted were trapped in a corner by the weapon shelf Apple jack saw the weapons and handed each of the ponies a sword.
Flutter shy," I-I can't do this
Rainbow dash,"yes you can!!
With those words spoken the five ponies charged without Flutter shy and when they were fighting the corrupted ponies were there friends but they had to do what they had to do. When they were killing all the ponies they couldn't help but feeling sorry for them. The slenderman grabbed all the ponies and made them pass out from extreme pressure and then they all past out in the slendermans hands.
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Um.... I can't even think of a bit of helpful critism for this. I'm sorry, but it just plain sucks. You didn't even do the script format right.
Twilight with her computer skills and smarts knocked 3 of them out by a plan she hatched in her head
YES BECAUSE THERE ARE COMPUTERS IN EQUESTRIA!!! holy shit this is simply terrible, and to make it worse you adding unnecessary cursing. You need to stop writing.
What's the point of making "stories" every single day that are just going to be deleted later? This is seriously like the third or fourth day in a row that I've seen one of these from you (and I doubt I caught on right away, so I imagine you've been doing this for longer than that), and they're always gone from the site a handful of hours later. If you're going to troll, why wouldn't you want to at least leave a legacy of it? If you were a bit more subtle about it, your stories would stick around pissing people off for ages, but instead you insist on writing these...things. I get that you don't care about it from the perspective of a writer, but I can't even understand what's going on here from the perspective of a troll. It's like you're going out of your way to cut your own fun in half.
What?
Your short comeback story for all your bad fics? More like your quick fallback story into yet another terrible fic! Seriously, what motivates fools to write crap like this? I'm sorry, but this is...ugh. Atrocious isn't even a good enough word! If you are old enough to know how to use a computer, and old enough to know how to type, you have no excuses for not being able to write something even SLIGHTLY worth reading. Seriously, I suggest you take a few more years of English classes, read some GOOD stories, and learn how to write PROPERLY. Good luck to you. You're gonna need it.
please go read my stories, hopefully it'll give u an idea of how to write. I know my fics aren't perfect but this is atrocious
Comeback DUDE a chapter needs at least 1000 chapters you only have a thousand period
slender MAN?! you mean slenderpony, slendermane or even slenderstallion/mare would be better
After seeing that this chapter has only 188 words, I decided that reading this wouldn't make a difference because it's so short. I was very wrong. What I read here today added tremendously to the eternal swirling torrent of radioactive diarrhea forced forever into my mind by your disgusting abomination which you call writing. Fuck you.
I read the first paragraph, then closed the window to go clean my brain of the horridness of this fic :
Wish me luck, I'm going to attempt to read every chapter.
AFTER READING: KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YOU!! YEAH YOU! DON'T YOU EVER, EVER AGIAN-
Ahem, this sucked...a lot...I'm not kidding, I can't describe what I would to if I could get at you through the internet
FUCK YOU PIESES OF FUCKING SHITimages.wikia.com/theslenderman/images/3/39/Slender_Man_9.png
My eyes. Let me set them on FIRE. And EYE BLEACH!
1106832 Oh. It's you. You still owe me a game of Poker!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS OH YEAH EVRYTHING IS FUCKING SHIT
Guys this is my old account and I'm so sorry for this story but go read my new one adventure sought adventure gained
1. I have my helmet on
2. I locked myself in my room
3. I'm gonna keep my phone at hand in case I would have to call the ambulance.
Now I'm ready to read this fanfic...
Fucking brilliant comedy here. Somewhat blunt and juvenile, but you know, subtlety is overrated when it comes to humor.
What you've done here is a marvelous thing. You've managed to perfectly mesh a completely unprecedented, fresh variety of grimdark humor with a profound and penetrating analysis of Slenderman's symbolic origins and his dynamic with folklore; more specifically, his role as an organic manifestation of the universal, primordial fears of humans: death, the grotesque, the unknown. And the psychological conflict of the Main 6, their inevitable corruption at the tendrils of this inescapable entity--agonizingly beautiful.
Kudos to you, Lightning storm 00. Savor your upvote.