• Member Since 30th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 9th, 2022

TheAlmightySage


Hello there, I'm a slightly original writer trying his best to improve and meet unreasonable deadlines, that are already due.

T

After an eventful meeting with Vinyl's Mother, Octavia and Vinyl need to get away from Canterlot in a hurry and end up visiting Octavia's estranged father. Who is a legitimate and upright business-stallion.

[This is not seriously written. Do not take it seriously.]

-------------------

Inspired by the story Vinyl's Heritage.

Editors and Pre-readers:
Tensemasterhalo
roker12
Fancy Phoenix

Advisor:Demon Bright Spirit

Yes, there will be guns being used by ponies. No, not in the way you're probably thinking, but still guns yes. Don't like guns? Then don't read this story silly filly.
Example: Gun Style

Cover Art from derpibooru: Link to Derpibooru
Link to shinodage's DA

Feature Box Achievement unlocked 9-6-15

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

casual dress = no weapons ---- no s---t. Thought that was common knowledge.

Wow. That was very interesting indeed and the pony version of the city that's practically in my backyard.

2BF

How does anyone get the inspiration to write these stories?

6393792 who CARES?!?!?

6393167
Thanks.

6393679
I blame John Wick. Which might be a source for another story in a few months...

6393792
Insanity is a unique form of inspiration.

6394900
But less pants crapping terrifying.

6395020
What? It's just a shotgun launched taser. What's there to be afraid of?

Baroness Palladium was having none of that and kept on throwing her weight around like heavy waves of a storm.

It's quite unbecoming of a lady to bring such attention to her girth. :duck:

I wish to see a sequel where Vinyl and Octavia deal with some.... upstart trying to make Octy's dad surrender his.... legitimate business.

6395023
Mostly because it looks like a shotgun slug of spiky death.

Headcanon accepted.

Hey, not to criticize, but the title has a typo. It's "business" not "buisness."

Grats on the feature, regardless!

Lyi

Unfortunately, I find more than one need for commas in separate places.

The writing here is sloppy, the choice of present tense poor, and the pacing was miserable.
For the most part, it flows decently, but that final couple of scenes is simply horrible. I get the feeling that this fic was written entirely to justify that gif, and it was definitely not worth it. There isn't any real meaning to the story, because it swings between hating the racist nobility for being racist nobles, but condones open and ridiculous violence as well as makes a crime lord into a more positive figure. Sure, Marecone is a reference to Johnny Marcone, but the reason why Johnny Marcone works in the Dresden Files is because Dresden and Marcone cooperate but never compromise their morals for each other. In the end, this fic is just senseless violence wrapped in bad writing and awkward characterization, topped off with an icing of stilted dialogue.

I'm upvoting this story see?

I'm...adding it to my favorites see?

I'm gonna re read it in the future see! Nyaa!

Great Story! Also liked the Dresden Files reference.

please don't tell me octy is related to the mob, because the facts are there

exhibit A:

Yes, there will be guns being used by ponies.

exhibit B:

"So your dad's got big-time business bits, eh?" Vinyl asked with a grin.
"That's one way to put it," Octavia said with a small smile.

exhibit C: they are in the equestrian version of Chicago

exhibit D: "Tell me, Vinyl, what do you know about Al Capony?"

btw, the animation of octy and vinyl 'passin out rounds like there's no tomorrow is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

6398302
You should get better editors and proofreaders and try to focus on your dialogue, at least in terms of improving your writing. Also, comedy works better when the subject matter is actually funny. Overall, I'm saying that I found it a waste of my time that I read this and that the fact that this is the level of work you find acceptable is rather... underwhelming. It's a shame you took one of my favorite ships in the fanon and did them such a disservice, almost as great a disservice as you did with your poorly integrating world-building.

6398416
Eh, I don't take pony seriously enough for that. This is a hobby. If you find this offensive in anyway I don't care. Conversation over.

DRESDEN FILES!!!!! :rainbowkiss:

Sage supports bendable hooves wheres the angry mob ? :P

hesitant to read this already read like 3 different vinyl octi stories that follow a similar headcanon and it's starting to BLEND :raritydespair:

"Plus, he let me keep these guns!" Vinyl said excitedly as she held up the matching pistols in her magic.

"DAMN IT VINYL!"

That ending was hilarious.

Headcanon accepted, my friend
:rainbowlaugh: lol have a like and a fav, cus this made my day!

Surely, "DAMN IT VINYL!" is one of Octavia's most commonly used phrases.

Not a bad story, but I liked the original more.

Well that was entertaining. Good story, felt slightly rushed at places, but overall good pace.

Gentleman John Marcone from the Dresden Files. Third best person in the books.

show my daughter and her fiancé out of the warehouse,"

Errrrrr So like I guess he is shipping them then

also Vinyl or Octavia didnt realize this like after or what are they already engaged and i didnt notice it ??? So confuse right now
also that gif was perfect :D

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