If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?
Enchantress Zecora is wise, helpful, and mysterious. She is also a character in a popular fantasy series with millions of fans.
When a young zebra goes to a her first big Shaman convention, cosplaying as her favourite character, little does she know she might have an impact on the inhabitants of Equestria.
Written for the **** THIS PROMPT! writing contest.
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An excellent interpretation of the prompt! This is good work, mate, major credit for the originality of it, quite decent and functional writing aside.
...my hopes for my contest entry are dipping. Good luck!
6194950
Many thanks for the kind words :))
To be honest, I thought you might have a similar interpretation, judging by the pic you posted :D
Good luck to you, as well! :))
I'd like to provide a critique. I only do so when I like a story, so the author can see a reflection of what they wrote in the mind of a reader.
This is very meta story. What I get from reading this is that you are placing a roleplaying zebra from an alternate universe where Zecora is just a fictional character into a non-fiction Equestria where she is trapped in the Zecora, or being forced to act as the fictional Zecora in a world where she would be accepted as real because Zecora doesn't yet exist. That said, this means you imply every MLP Zecora adventure follows from this story (the meta part), and that we could modify our view point to see Ziggi instead with that thought in mind.
If I understand correctly, the story is a nice logic construction and complete in and of itself. And Interesting.
That said, I like Ziggi as you've written her. She's sympathetic and nicely fleshed out. It might be fun to follow her along an adventure and actually see what she learns following the rules and acting like her idol. This doesn't mean you'd have to write Bridle Gossip from her POV. I bet you could come up with something else. (I am saying this because your story is marked as complete. If not, oops, we're both embarrassed.)
It was a nice touch that you explained why Ziggi did not go freaking nuts when she landed in Equestria. A bit more agitation would work better for me, but it does work as written, and I like that you made it seem real. We call that verisimilitude.
Your writing was good overall, except for the third paragraph where I lost track of who was who, and almost got kicked out of the story. I think that started when you used "her sister groaned" when "her sister said" would have worked better. Groaning is not verbal. When a character groans, grunts, hisses, etc., it should not be used to attribute speech. The paragraph then subtly goes wrong because, in my opinion, you didn't name the sister. If you did that, you'd improve your story immensely.
There were very few typos (that I noticed, at least): "In here home town." "her sister had gone into fights" "Fuming, Ziggin stomped off "
6195526
Thanks for the really great analysis, and very glad you liked it! :D
Initially I considered it being in the same universe, just not Equestria proper. A different continent potentially, not displayed on the map itself.
We can both relax, since the story is 'complete' :) More like a bridge between her past and her introduction in Gossip. (The rhyming does remind me of larping to a degree :)) A follow up is possible, though. Will see what grabs my fancy :)
I'll have to re read the third paragraph to try to unravel the mess then :D Occasionally I end up going stream of consciousness. O:) Not sure about naming the sister, though... I always fear giving a name might split the focus, especially in something so short. Will have to think how to tackle the problem :)
6195526
Oops, some additional clarification :) According to my logic, there is no Zecora in Equestria. She is a popular character in Zebria (too sleepy to come up with a proper name :)) Her being transported to the Everfree Forest created the MLP Zecora, since she had use her name and act in accordance to the Zebria description. In a way it's similar to what the mane 6 and Spike go through when they enter the magic comic.
Hope that helps explain things a bit O:)
Bonus amusing fact - the lead's name is inspired from "All your base are belong to us" :)
6195707
Yup, it's meta alright. It's a kind of story an author can get away with just once, though.
However, consider the first Matrix movie Isn't it all about Neo discovering he's a character (a meta-construct) in somebody else's story, and that he doesn't really exist? The inverse of your story. Ain't literature grand? (And don't make the mistake in thinking that movies aren't written and can't qualify as literature.)
6195824
Ah, my bad. Misunderstood what meta meant :(
Am I the only one hearing John de Lancie as the voice of the albino zebra? This is totally the kind of thing Discord would do. Or Q for that matter.
6206114
:) Was very tempted, but he should still be in stone at that point. Which is a shame, especially with the way he acts in Princess Twilight Sparkle 2.
6206770
Unless, of course, he can travel through time as well as dimensions.
6208496
Now that's just crazy talk, doc! :) It could also be Starswirl - he had a tendency to send beings to other dimensions... Hmmm :D
6195020 y is this complete?
6269809
Yes and no :) It was originally for a contest and had to be done for about a week.
However, I'm working on something longer based on it, so at some point (soonish) a longer multi chapter story will appear :D
6269936 sweet!!! Can't wait,
A bit of magic? How much are we talking here?
6313846 Hmm... Let's say Pinkie had the right idea :)
6313865 ... evil dancing and hypnosis?
6319433 Indeed :D Minus the dancing ;)
6320034 aww, but the dancing was funny.
WHY ISN'T THERE MORE OF THIS?!?
~Doc
7025044 Eventually, there will be :)