Well, its the end of the world. Well not really I could change and become a pony and be saved from the imitate end of humanity. Well I have no job, no one to rely on me or to rely on and I have nothing holding me back. What's there to lose besides my hands?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*sees the quality of the fic and most importantly the rushed feeling*
well.... that looks horrible
*reads thats it's the guy's first fic*
oh, that explains a bit....
I'm not sure I'm gonna track but.... there's a reason TCBs have an orientation class and USUALLY a 3-day stay, it's to initially learn about the different pony types and get used to pony day-to-day life (without the hooves and subspecies magic) as well as learn stuff about Equestria so that one doesn't wander into Equestria with 0 knowledge...
and from your OC's type, I'm going to guess: Pegasus
and I really don't think I'll follow as if I do, I sense my FictionReviewer 9001 will activate and I'll keep posting negative reviews which may discourage you from continuing..... and THIS I do not want, I believe EVERYONE has a good writing potential in them.... even those who write shitty clopfics or stories such as Cupcakes.... it's just that they sometimes need to be steered in a direction which is clear of gaping holes even if this means using a negative comment from time to time. If one does not do that, positive comments can feel you with too much self-confidence and you'll rush right into the hole where most readers willa ctually see the story as a mess....
....what the hell was that last paragraph I wrote.....
What the heck did I just read?
Awww man your guy should've chosen the baby dragon potion cause dragons are cool
. Oh well other than that the story is kinda bland.......no offense its just that I don't really see anything in your story that stands out from the rest of the TCB story universe. But don't let my review discourage you from writing more stories so please continue.